3 boys with a new baby on the way UPDATE

[bobster]

Can I join this thread? I've been lurking for a while. I'm 24 weeks pregnant with a second boy and OH and I only planned to have 2 so I'm feeling really gutted beyond words never to have a daughter. I'm finding it impossible to get excited or to bond with this pregnancy and feel so guilty for that I love having a boy so it's not that I don't want another one its just that this was my last chance for a girl.

 

[allforthegirl]

Can I join this thread? I've been lurking for a while. I'm 24 weeks pregnant with a second boy and OH and I only planned to have 2 so I'm feeling really gutted beyond words never to have a daughter. I'm finding it impossible to get excited or to bond with this pregnancy and feel so guilty for that I love having a boy so it's not that I don't want another one its just that this was my last chance for a girl.

I know how you feel. I have 5 boys and another on the way. You are not alone in the way you feel at all.

 

[chelsealynnb]

Can I join this thread? I've been lurking for a while. I'm 24 weeks pregnant with a second boy and OH and I only planned to have 2 so I'm feeling really gutted beyond words never to have a daughter. I'm finding it impossible to get excited or to bond with this pregnancy and feel so guilty for that I love having a boy so it's not that I don't want another one its just that this was my last chance for a girl.

Of course! I know exactly what you mean about being devestated about not ever having a daughter but not necessarily being dissapointed about another boy. My boys are ages 10, 6 and 9 months (not sure how old your son is) and I can say that one of my favorite things is their football games! We are a big sports family. I am really glad I don't only have girls because I would miss out on cheering their football and baseball (not that girls can't play football or baseball, but you know what I mean). I look forward to it every year. I can't wait until high school football when the parents go out on the field with their sons (that's something our school does). Just something to think about for the future!

 

[chelsealynnb]

Here is my oldest son

 

[Scarlett2]

Gorgeous picture!

It's nice to feel like I'm not alone. Totally know where you ladies are coming from.

 

[chelsealynnb]

I try to think of things to get my mind off of girly stuff Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't! It's a lot harder for me this time around because 1) this is our last chance and 2) this is the only one I've had hope via ultrasound that it's a girl, because the tech said at 12.4 weeks that she thinks it might be a girl. So basically my hopes couldn't get any higher right now

 

[CJHanson]

When do you find out?

 

[chelsealynnb]

January 16th, I booked a private gender scan. I'll be 16+2

 

[Scarlett2]

January 16th, I booked a private gender scan. I'll be 16+2

Fingers crossed for you! Let us know.

 

[bobster]

Good luck Chelsea. Your oldest son is very handsome. My boy is 26 months. He's beautiful and gorgeous and I love him more than anything.

It really helps to know others feel the same way. I feel ungrateful as I'm carrying a healthy boy. I just hope the attachment comes when I have him. I feel awful not being excited for him as I know some people would give anything to have a healthy baby.

I feel like I'm really mourning my daughter who I always imagined. I find myself looking at little girls and feeling jealousy towards mums with girls. A friend is pregnant at the moment and they find out the sex on my birthday (27th jan) and I just know it will be a girl. I think I'll cry when she announces. My OH says I should be happy for them and I will be but I can't help the feeling of jealousy as I always pictured myself with a daughter from being a little girl. I feel like I won't have anything in common with the boys when they are older. People seem to feel sorry for me when I say I'm having another boy too. One person even said 'oh poor you!' How rude is that

Allforthrgirl will you try again for another? Have you ever tried swaying? I've heard about it since discussing these issues. I'm not sure how much of it I believe to work.

Scarlett are you having your third boy or do you not know yet?

 

[bobster]

I'm really hoping OH will change his mind and we'll have another chance at having a girl one day. But then I'm in 2 minds about that as I only want a girl so couldn't bare going through this again if we had a boy. It wouldn't be fair on the baby. But then can I just give up on my dream of a daughter?! Turmoil

 

[Scarlett2]

We don't know for sure but I think it's quite likely... I think we are going to wait for the birth to find out..

 

[chelsealynnb]

I considered waiting for the birth to find out, but after the tech told me there's a chance it's a girl I definitely don't have it in me to wait. Way too impatient

 

[bobster]

Scarlett you are patient! How far on are you? I was team yellow with the first but was secretly hoping for a girl then. It made me bond less when he was born so that's why I found out this time. On the other hand though it didn't take as long to get over it as I soon fell in love with him and I enjoyed the whole pregnancy unlike this one so I think there are really good advantages to waiting.

 

[allforthegirl]

Allforthrgirl will you try again for another? Have you ever tried swaying? I've heard about it since discussing these issues. I'm not sure how much of it I believe to work.

We will not. We have tried a light sway with last, and many have done a full sway and still got a boy. It just seemed like way too much of a hassle for me with no guarantee. I will be 37 when this current one is born and DH got fixed. We are done. I can't go through the extreme disappointment again.

 

[bobster]

I can completely understand that. That is why I don't think it would be right for us to have another as it would only be to try for a girl and it's too risky.

I have thought I might look into councelling to try to help me move on from this desire to have a daughter as it's not healthy for my family. I feel I could burst into tears at any moment throughout the day when I think about what I'm missing out on when I need to think about what i have and start appreciating it!

 

[Scarlett2]

Scarlett you are patient! How far on are you? I was team yellow with the first but was secretly hoping for a girl then. It made me bond less when he was born so that's why I found out this time. On the other hand though it didn't take as long to get over it as I soon fell in love with him and I enjoyed the whole pregnancy unlike this one so I think there are really good advantages to waiting.

I have no idea why my signature isn't showing on this part of the forum... Anyway. I'm 29 weeks tomorrow. I'm having another scan in two weeks so we could find out, or I could get one done privately. To be honest my gut instinct was to wait until the birth. I think it's because we really won't try again and I feel as though I want to stay in ignorance for as long as possible. If I were to find out it was a boy it would probably upset me for a bit and ruin the end of my last pregnancy. I'm also really really hoping that if it is a boy seeing him will mean that we bond regardless, whereas I always feel detached when they are in the womb still. We have chosen a boy's name and I can see the advantages of three boys. I also have no real desire to buy pink things. I mean, it would be nice, but I don't feel I will be massively missing out if I don't get the chance to do it. My issue is more to do with family dynamics and what will happen when they get older as most of my male friends (including hubbie) are TERRIBLE at keeping in contact wi their mums...

 

[bobster]

Yes I too worry about those kinds of things when my boys grow up. It's more about the different bond between a mum and daughter than about materialistic things although I am a girly girl so doing hair and shopping for clothes does appeal. But it's not that that I feel like I'm missing out on. I hope this bub is a girl for you. It's good you've picked a name for a boy though and tried to imagine life with 3 as I'm sure that will help if it is a boy.

You must update us!

 

[Scarlett2]

I know what you mean about female relationships, and yet I don't have a brilliant relationship with my own mother.... Although two of my sisters do. I will definitely stay on here - looking forward to hearing the outcomes of others' scans too!

 

[Jbree]

Girl!!! Can anyone else see the 3 lines? X