3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[Bma11]

Yup! I'm right there with you. Seems likes everyone is getting prego. Plus I walk into the grocery store and see baby bumps everywhere!!! You will get there.

 

[StayHopeful]

Hugs, sunshine! Good luck on your IVF cycle!!!

 

[fisher640]

Oh sunshine yes. We've all been there. The jealous and depression are really something else. we didnt tell anyone what we were going through. None of my immediate family ever made comments directly to me but DH and I have been married 6 years so when we fiiiinallly got pregnant and told people several relatives made comments that led me to believe it may have been a topic behind our backs.

My aunt assured me labor would be easy "because that's only fair and how it works if u have a hard time getting pregnant"

And my grandfather (who's 93 thank you very much: embarrassing) said something like "oh? That's wonderful news I thought that wasn't a possibility?" I was like "uhhhh. (Awkward) I don't know what you're talking about?"

 

[Chris_25]

Hi Guys-

Nothing really new to report, just want to vent about something that I know all of you can relate to.

Just having one of "those" days......

Had dinner with my fam, my (YOUNGER!) pregnant sister-in-law and brother were there with their one year old. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE my niece and cant wait to meet baby #2 this spring, but sometimes it's all I can do to keep from bawling at the table. And it only gets worse when it seems every conversation is about babies......and tonight we found out another family friend ( married for 6 months and 5 years younger than me ) is pregnant. I dont want to be jealous and bitter but sometimes I just really feel that way.

My family doesnt know what we are going through at ALL, but I'm sure they assume something is wrong, as it's been 3 yrs married and nothing. No one is trying to be mean but sometimes I just want to hide from everyone for a while.

I'm at the very start of my 1st IVf cycle and KNOW I'm on my way, some days it just feels SO hard and unfair and SO far away.....and it's nice to know that you guys understand. It just all seems so, so, so unfair sometimes ya know???

So, I feel better already for venting. Thanks for "listening"/ reading. I know y'all get it. And I love you for that.

OUR TIME IS SOON

Oh hunni I feel the same way I get so down and depressed and say to myself "How will I go on" I am very impatient I have high hopes for you now that you are doing your IVF cycle!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hey Sunshine... I remember all too well what that feeling of the whole world is pregnant but you. It was like the universe was throwing pregnant ladies in my face and I wonder this one morning when I was riding the subway to work, I was literally surrounded by pregnant ladies on the train! I kept switching cars and there would be another one and even 3 in one car at one point. It was like the pregnant lady zombie apocalypse!

It's also not easy to see family and close friends have babies while you're still waiting for your turn. Is there a particular reason that you aren't open about it with your family? It can be a difficult situation to discuss with anyone and it's definitely a personal decision. I was open about it to my immediate family and close friends only. I met a former employer of mine for coffee after I had been TTC for about 8 months after not seeing her for a couple of years. The first thing she said to me is "I thought you would be out to here by now!" (while motioning a pregnant belly with her hands). "You love babies and I thought you would have had a couple by now." I didn't tell her that I was struggling but just kind of laughed nervously and said something like "So did I!"

Well I hope you are doing okay and that you are taking good care of yourself. Just remember the light is almost at the end of the tunnel. Hugs!

 

[Sunshine24]

Hey Sunshine... I remember all too well what that feeling of the whole world is pregnant but you. It was like the universe was throwing pregnant ladies in my face and I wonder this one morning when I was riding the subway to work, I was literally surrounded by pregnant ladies on the train! I kept switching cars and there would be another one and even 3 in one car at one point. It was like the pregnant lady zombie apocalypse!

It's also not easy to see family and close friends have babies while you're still waiting for your turn. Is there a particular reason that you aren't open about it with your family? It can be a difficult situation to discuss with anyone and it's definitely a personal decision. I was open about it to my immediate family and close friends only. I met a former employer of mine for coffee after I had been TTC for about 8 months after not seeing her for a couple of years. The first thing she said to me is "I thought you would be out to here by now!" (while motioning a pregnant belly with her hands). "You love babies and I thought you would have had a couple by now." I didn't tell her that I was struggling but just kind of laughed nervously and said something like "So did I!"

Well I hope you are doing okay and that you are taking good care of yourself. Just remember the light is almost at the end of the tunnel. Hugs!

Thank you! There isnt a particular reason we havent told our families....honestly the majority of the reason was I didnt want people watching every move I make always thinking and wondering---IS SHE? ISNT SHE? Plus when we started trying my niece had just been born and now with my sis-in-law pregnant againt I KNOW she would just feel guilty and terrible ( not that she should, but she is just such a sweet person ) and I dont want her to feel bad about being pregnant. I know that sounds crazy! Hahah. Also there is a lot of adoption in my family and we're happy and ready to go that route when/ if we choose to, but I think some of my family wouldn'y understand why we're choosing IVF instead of moving right to adoption. Just dont want to answer millions of questions, ya know?

Luckily I have three best friends who are amazing and supportive. And, one of them struggled for 2.5 yrs before she got pregnant with her twins, and had a very similar road and diagnosis as me, she is a HUGE HUGE help to me---so it's not like I'm totally going at it alone. Plus DH is beyond wonderful--but ya know, sometimes its just TOO much to talk about it all the time. We are very open and honest with each other about all the emotions about this time, but then I have to stop---I dont want our whole marriage to be about this process, ya know? easier said than done......

Thank you for your support though.

I cant wait to get my BFP soon. I feel it is coming, really and truly.

 

[Chris_25]

Hi girls so I had MY new RE appt yesterday and it went well I have a cyst on one ovary which is no big deal and he is referring me to a doctor to do the laporoscopy and hysteroscopy surgery to check for scar tissue or endometriosis although he said most likely won't find anything. I couldn't get an appt. to meet with that doctor until March 6th and then I will have to schedule the surgery. The RE basically told me if everything comes back fine with the surgery then I should move onto IVF. If it comes back that they did find something then I would try a few more IUI's and see if that would work. He didn't agree with my previous RE only getting me 1 follicle for the 3 IUI's I have already done because I can get that on my own anyway. The doctor said there is something going on but just don't know what. Oh and also my lining was a little thin which could be the issue which is weird because the other clinic told me I had good lining. I hate this waiting game and it looks like I will be doing IVF in a few months because i'm sure the surgery will find nothing. I am so scared

 

[Sunshine24]

Hi girls so I had MY new RE appt yesterday and it went well I have a cyst on one ovary which is no big deal and he is referring me to a doctor to do the laporoscopy and hysteroscopy surgery to check for scar tissue or endometriosis although he said most likely won't find anything. I couldn't get an appt. to meet with that doctor until March 6th and then I will have to schedule the surgery. The RE basically told me if everything comes back fine with the surgery then I should move onto IVF. If it comes back that they did find something then I would try a few more IUI's and see if that would work. He didn't agree with my previous RE only getting me 1 follicle for the 3 IUI's I have already done because I can get that on my own anyway. The doctor said there is something going on but just don't know what. Oh and also my lining was a little thin which could be the issue which is weird because the other clinic told me I had good lining. I hate this waiting game and it looks like I will be doing IVF in a few months because i'm sure the surgery will find nothing. I am so scared

It's ok! Don't be scared. You're making all the right decisions and moving forward. I had a lap and hyst last month and it was a breeze. PLUS they found moderate endo and removed it and said that was probably the trouble all along. I never had any signs of endo either.

Because I am anxious to keep moving forward and they cant ever say with 100% certainty that they got all the endo, we are choosing to do IVF next to get as quick results as possible.

You will be okay. A lap is a GOOD thing, and even if they dont find anything, I have heard from multiple sources that after you have one done fertility increases for 6 months following.

Plesae feel free to reach out to me with any questions about the lao and starting IVF, I'm only about a month or two ahead of you in this whole thing.

Best of luck honey!

 

[Chris_25]

Hi girls so I had MY new RE appt yesterday and it went well I have a cyst on one ovary which is no big deal and he is referring me to a doctor to do the laporoscopy and hysteroscopy surgery to check for scar tissue or endometriosis although he said most likely won't find anything. I couldn't get an appt. to meet with that doctor until March 6th and then I will have to schedule the surgery. The RE basically told me if everything comes back fine with the surgery then I should move onto IVF. If it comes back that they did find something then I would try a few more IUI's and see if that would work. He didn't agree with my previous RE only getting me 1 follicle for the 3 IUI's I have already done because I can get that on my own anyway. The doctor said there is something going on but just don't know what. Oh and also my lining was a little thin which could be the issue which is weird because the other clinic told me I had good lining. I hate this waiting game and it looks like I will be doing IVF in a few months because i'm sure the surgery will find nothing. I am so scared

It's ok! Don't be scared. You're making all the right decisions and moving forward. I had a lap and hyst last month and it was a breeze. PLUS they found moderate endo and removed it and said that was probably the trouble all along. I never had any signs of endo either.

Because I am anxious to keep moving forward and they cant ever say with 100% certainty that they got all the endo, we are choosing to do IVF next to get as quick results as possible.

You will be okay. A lap is a GOOD thing, and even if they dont find anything, I have heard from multiple sources that after you have one done fertility increases for 6 months following.

Plesae feel free to reach out to me with any questions about the lao and starting IVF, I'm only about a month or two ahead of you in this whole thing.

Best of luck honey!

Thanks so much! I am actually glad I am going to do the surgery. I want to make sure i've checked everything before moving on. I wish you the best of luck too!

 

[Sunshine24]

You will do great! You're making the right choice and you're one step closer.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Chris this sounds like a great plan. Yes the thought of surgery sounds scary, but like Sunshine and many other women I have spoken to say, it's a breeze. I met someone on here who did both the lap and hysteroscopy after ttc 14 months and got a BFP after BDing one time 2 weeks post surgery! This was after removing stage 5 endo and numerous cysts.

If IVF ends up being the route you go, I'd also be happy to answer any questions about the process.

Sunshine I'm glad you have some close friends IRL to confide in. My SIL struggled and did 4 IUIs to conceive my niece and she was my rock during the whole thing!

 

[Sunshine24]

Another update on me, as promised.

I start the 2nd phase of my IVF cycle tonight, Lupron injections.

I do Lupron in addition to the BCP I am on for two nights, then stop BCP and continue just on Lupron, and then when AF comes ( they suspect it will be around Feb 18th or so ) I call the office, go in for baselines and enter phase three---stimming + Lupron ( which will last approx 10 days... ). THEN! Trigger, Er and transfer and hopefully BFP.

So far, so good, it seems like time is going fast. Im staying busy, eating healthy, and getting in a good mental place to undergo these next steps....


Thanks for your support ladies!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Sunshine this sounds exactly like my protocol!!! Good luck!

 

[Chris_25]

Chris this sounds like a great plan. Yes the thought of surgery sounds scary, but like Sunshine and many other women I have spoken to say, it's a breeze. I met someone on here who did both the lap and hysteroscopy after ttc 14 months and got a BFP after BDing one time 2 weeks post surgery! This was after removing stage 5 endo and numerous cysts.

If IVF ends up being the route you go, I'd also be happy to answer any questions about the process.

Sunshine I'm glad you have some close friends IRL to confide in. My SIL struggled and did 4 IUIs to conceive my niece and she was my rock during the whole thing!

Thanks so much I appreciate all the support! I just want answers and i'm ready to move forward now.

 

[Chris_25]

Another update on me, as promised.

I start the 2nd phase of my IVF cycle tonight, Lupron injections.

I do Lupron in addition to the BCP I am on for two nights, then stop BCP and continue just on Lupron, and then when AF comes ( they suspect it will be around Feb 18th or so ) I call the office, go in for baselines and enter phase three---stimming + Lupron ( which will last approx 10 days... ). THEN! Trigger, Er and transfer and hopefully BFP.

So far, so good, it seems like time is going fast. Im staying busy, eating healthy, and getting in a good mental place to undergo these next steps....


Thanks for your support ladies!

Sounds like it's coming along great! I am keeping you in my prayers and I just know everything will work out perfect for you.

 

[LuckyW]

Hi guys,

I had a scan this morning and found out my bean stopped growing a couple of weeks ago. I am reporting it here because I think this thread is such a great resource for people frustrated with assisted conception, and it's pretty interesting to see how people's stories develop - the ultimate success stories being the best outcomes, obviously.

In my case, I think we're going to quit with the assisted conception. We will probably continue to try at home, but it feels right to resign ourselves to the likelihood that parenthood won't be happening. I will be turning 43 in a few months, after all. And as you all know, it's not easy to keep persisting after so many discouraging results.

Emotionally, I'm actually totally fine. Positive, even. It's a little peculiar to think how I've been so fearful and dreading the possibility of this moment - having to face the probability that I will never have children - and it is disappointing but not at all devastating.

Anyway, just another thread to add to this wonderful collection of stories. I hope no one feels like my update is inappropriate here.

Best of luck to you all!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Oh Lucky, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'm glad you are doing okay emotionally. I think you just have to follow your gut on what's right for you and if stopping the assisted conception is what feels right then that's what you have to do.

I really wish I had the words to make this journey all better for you, but just know that this is a place where you will be supported no matter what. I hope that if you feel the need to that you will come here with anything that's on your mind. Big hugs.

 

[Sunshine24]

I'm so sorry Lucky, but it sounds like you are in a good place mentally, which I commend you for. I will continue to think and pray for you!!

 

[Chris_25]

Lucky I am so very sorry. I am glad to hear you are being positive and doing ok.

 

[Bma11]

Hi girls so I had MY new RE appt yesterday and it went well I have a cyst on one ovary which is no big deal and he is referring me to a doctor to do the laporoscopy and hysteroscopy surgery to check for scar tissue or endometriosis although he said most likely won't find anything. I couldn't get an appt. to meet with that doctor until March 6th and then I will have to schedule the surgery. The RE basically told me if everything comes back fine with the surgery then I should move onto IVF. If it comes back that they did find something then I would try a few more IUI's and see if that would work. He didn't agree with my previous RE only getting me 1 follicle for the 3 IUI's I have already done because I can get that on my own anyway. The doctor said there is something going on but just don't know what. Oh and also my lining was a little thin which could be the issue which is weird because the other clinic told me I had good lining. I hate this waiting game and it looks like I will be doing IVF in a few months because i'm sure the surgery will find nothing. I am so scared

Well, it's good that he has you getting completely checked out! I sure wish I'd done all that back in June 2012! Do you know what your lining was? I'm pretty sure it should be 9mm and up for implantation. Try not to be scared but excited!!! we are all rooting for you