3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[moni77]

calm girl those prices sound about right then. I did IVF with ICSI, I did not do the genetic testing. They usually don't recommend that unless you have had a few miscarriages, or failed IVFs. You should ask about the costs associated with freezing extra embryos and frozen transfer cycles. You should be able to opt for the cheaper option initially and then if that doesn't work have the testing done on the remaining embryos.

Dini - I'm glad you are saying you are just feeling regular movement now, I have been freaking out, because I have not felt much and it is very sporadic and so many others less weeks than me are talking about all the movements. So thanks!

 

[Dini]

Moni, mine was really light and sporadic until about a week ago and even now it comes and goes but is strong enough to know it's definetly him!

 

[dsk1977]

Thanks everyone.

I called my RE today and asked him to review my labs and let me know if I should proceed with IVF. He said based on my labs and work up, IUI is a viable option, whatever that means. I honestly feel they make you go through it and so I'm thinking of it as a preliminary step. The hardest part is trying to stay positive without getting hopes up as each failed attempt is emotionally draining. It's even harder with all my friends asking me if I'm pregnant each month. I have been a lot less social because of it and at times it feels like a lonely journey. Thanks everyone for all your positive words. I'm currently on month off but obviously trying naturally is in the back of my mind too.

 

[StayHopeful]

Hang in there, dsk. I did acupuncture for three months before and during my ivf cycle. The acupuncturist even came to the transfer and did an acupuncture session immediately afterward at the fertility clinic. I can't say for sure that it helped, but the cycle was a success!

AugustBride, welcome!

Calmgirl, I had so many more "symptoms" a lot of my bfn cycles than when I actually got a bfp. I remember about a week or so after the transfer feeling so depressed because I didn't feel any different. I agree with the other ladies, go with your gut about which type of cycle to do. The prices seem pretty reasonable. DH and I did do the genetic testing, but that's because I'm adopted (from India, actually) and we don't know anything about my birth family's medical history. The type of testing we did was for DH and I, not on the embryos, though.

 

[calm girl]

I got my BFN this morning.My 3rd iui also failed. while writing this tears rolling out, I couldn't stop crying. My husband didnt talk to me after heard this. He is also so upset.

I dont have money for immediate ivf, I plan for another IUI. Meanwhile i need to collect the amount for IVF. This morning we planned to sell our property in india. This is the only property we have. Then we can proceed our IVF. But these are all very hard decision.

Meanwhile if my credit score increase i plan to take loan. I am new to denver.

Thanks moni77 for for advice first i go with the IVF/ICSI alone with out genetic assesement so that it can come around $14000.

Stay hopeful I should be more storger but i couldn't.

 

[StayHopeful]

Calm girl, I'm so sorry to hear about your bfn. We couldn't afford to do IVF immediately either and had to wait about 6 months after our last IUI. Looking back though, I think that time was helpful. I took a break from letting my life revolve around ttc and I was in a better mindset when we went forward with IVF.

 

[dsk1977]

I'm sorry calmgirl.

But don't lose hope and explain to your husband that chances for IUI working are very low as it is.
I know this is your priority right now, but try to take a day off, an hour even, from focusing on this and you will feel instantly better.

Keep the thought in the back of your mind: you will get pregnant with IVF and even though it costs a lot and is not 100% guaranteed, chances improve dramatically.

Take some time off, occupy yourself with other things, and breathe. Just think it's not the time for your little one to arrive yet, but he/she is on the way, it will just take a little longer than 9 months.
These are the coping mechanisms I use.

I hope they help you.

 

[WillowGrace]

Sorry I have been MIA recently. Work is SO busy this time of year!

I welcome all the newbies to the thread and thank anyone who has posted to keep the support flowing! This is a great place to be!

I just got my 2015 insurance cards in the mail. I plan on calling my fertility clinic MONDAY to update my info! We are 1 step closer! IVF with ICSI here we come... Feeling hopeful and excited!

Realistically speaking, I know there is a chance that we many not be doing IVF until Feb. or maybe even the spring due to cycles starting/ending and having to take BCP, but just having the new insurance tells me we are officially starting our path to baby! This will happen for us! I pray that 2015 is going to bring us a BFP that sicks.

 

[dsk1977]

I'm sorry calmgirl.

But don't lose hope and explain to your husband that chances for IUI working are very low as it is.
I know this is your priority right now, but try to take a day off, an hour even, from focusing on this and you will feel instantly better.

Keep the thought in the back of your mind: you will get pregnant with IVF and even though it costs a lot and is not 100% guaranteed, chances improve dramatically.

Take some time off, occupy yourself with other things, and breathe. Just think it's not the time for your little one to arrive yet, but he/she is on the way, it will just take a little longer than 9 months.
These are the coping mechanisms I use.

I hope they help you.

 

[dsk1977]

Welcome back willow

So excited for you. You sound hopeful and positive and that's a great energy to have on this journey. Sounds like there are a lot of moms on this thread and now a new batch of us who will be beginning our journey. I wish the same, that 2015 is full of BFP and success stories and eventual healthy babies for us all.

 

[Dini]

Welcome back Willow! Can't wait for you to get your BFP soon!

Calmgirl, I so know how you feel right now, I really do. And it's so hard to take a break, but we had no choice as we had no money, and DH and I couldn't take out a loan because my ex husband left me with enormous debt and when the economy crashed here in 2008 DH lost his house and car and that has ruined his credit, we are trying to rebuild it. Our only option for IVF was to beg my dad to get us a loan and he didn't want to but I wasn't giving up. We took a break and it was so very hard to do because I felt the clock ticking with my age. We decided one last IUI over the holidays or just after, then on to IVF if we could get funding. The break was the best thing for us. It was still in the back of my mind all the time, but I think it helped both of us and then we got our miracle BFP naturally. But regardless of the fact that we got pregnant while on break, it was good for us. It is so hard to tear yourself away but I agree with the others it will make you feel better.

Set a date, like say 2 months or 1 month for a break when you decide to do it, and just do it. Then you can start refreshed and maybe new hope. My thoughts are with you!

 

[calm girl]

Thanks Dini, Stay Hopeful and Moni77. I am expecting some miracle should happen.. Everyone i become so mad. I couldn't able to concentrate on my work.

Always thinking about my IVF amount,Will it be success for the first time and so many thinking. I dont know how you ppl handled this tough situation.

For me same thing my age is going iam 32 and my husband 33. With god grace i should do the IVF soon and get the good news.

I will keep update my situation here. Thank u all ladies for ur great support.

(Iam keep on refresh this thread for any updates).

For everyone who is in this journey will get all gud news in 2015.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Wow I have some catching up to do here. Welcome dsk and calm girl!
I can totally relate to the complete devastation of the third failed iui, it's so much worse than the first or second fail. I had such high hopes for my third iui because I did injectibles and had 5 follicles. I thought if that didn't work nothing would. Well it didn't work and that's when I started this thread because I felt so alone and it was one of the worst days for me. I had just started a new job and when I got the fail news I hid in an alley and cried, and was later found by a coworker. I didn't want to have to explain what I was going through and I ended up leaving work saying I was sick.

Anyway, it's okay to be upset! And one of the best things for me was connecting with other women in here who were going through the same thing or had been through it. My husband, family and friends just didn't understand how awful I felt.

DSK I think you mentioned something about low ovarian reserve. I'm pretty sure my AMH score was 7 out of 20 and I was 30 at the time, so that wasn't great. But IVF still worked for me. And even though IVF also revealed that I had poor egg quality as well, I went on to get pregnant again naturally. We were planning to attempt IVF again, but it just shows anything can happen.

I really feel for you ladies and hope you find the support you need!

And Willow, hope you are feeling well. A loss is a loss whether it is secondary infertility or your first attempt with pregnancy. I'm glad you are looking ahead to next steps.

Hugs to all!

 

[WillowGrace]

Sending you ALL beautiful Holiday wishes!!!

As hard as the break has been for me. I think I needed this time. I don't know if a break is right for everyone it is such a personal decision. After so long trying and so many months of medications and treatments my body really needed the break, too. Emotionally, I'm better, but I'm still very, very sad. Two losses in the last 2 years has been so hard.

As I near the end of this break, I feel more prepared to more forward. I have a established a little piece of peace within myself. I have also had lots of time to think about things and mentally prepare for this process. I'm so ready. Bring it on!

I faxed my doc office my new insurance. The lady in billing said she can't do anything until after the first, so I'll be calling on the 5th to see what I need to do next and what their next steps will be, too.

AF just arrived, so IF we can get all the paperwork done and get pre-authorization from insurance we will hopefully be starting BCP the later part of January **fingers crossed** and then starting stims after completing 19 days of BCP, which would put retreival towards the end of Feb. If NOT, then we will start BCP mid-Feb. and stims retreival in March.

 

[Dini]

Well willow I hope it all works out for next month! I'm keeping you in my thoughts!

 

[moni77]

Hope all goes smoothly Willow.

 

[WillowGrace]

I spoke with my nurse today. I wanted to see what I should do next, if anything, since it has been a long time since my September IVF consult. I wasn't sure if there were additional tests needed or another consult, etc. She said as soon as my insurance clears and we get pre-authorization we are good to go to start my IVF cycle. I obviously have to do all of my consent forms after we get the authorization to go ahead. I am not sure how long it will take to hear back from insurance, so I am open to the fact that it may be quick or it may take awhile to get all the pre-authorization done. Hopefully, I start BCP in January or February. I'm hoping it's not longer! I'm so happy this process is getting closer! I am really in disbelief, since it has taken so long to get to this point.

 

[dsk1977]

Hello everyone,

Any recent updates?
Any news Willow?

I'm depressed today.
As you all know, I did one IUI cycle with clomid which didn't work and had to take a break the next cycle due to cysts.

Today I went in again for my day 2-3 ultrasound and the cysts were still there along with "leftover follicles."
The nurse recommended I take birth control this cycle so another month off to get rid of the cysts but let me know that this might not work as well.
She said the cysts were smaller but still there.

I spent most of the morning crying.
I don't know what to do and my husband thinks we should see a different doctor to get a second opinion or go straight to IVF.

I tried to explain to him that this can occur with any form of treatment.
I guess we are worried that this can happen with each IUI, i.e. Needing to take several months off due to cysts.
Did anyone here have a similar experience?

Sad and confused today.

 

[AugustBride6]

So sorry you are having a bad day DSK. It's so hard to be patient and trust the doctors when you have been patient for so long. I had a mental breakdown on the way to work too. But, we have no other choice but to keep pushing on! We can do this, all of us!

 

[WillowGrace]

Hey ladies,

I've been MIA busy and not much to update. I'm not the only one it looks like... any updates for any of you? Thinking of you all!


Well...the only news I have is January February as a prediction to start was off the mark. I guess I was naive thinking insurance rolling over wouldn't take way too long, but I won't be able to start until March. So it may be March or April by the time I start stimming. I'll start birth control I believe in March or if I'm lucky the end of Feb. We will see. Bottom line.... it's all going so much slower than I had hoped. I'm still hopeful, excited, but also disappointed we can't get this going now.

New news? Can't wait to hear about all of our pregnant mamas on this thread and those TTC.