3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[Dini]

Willow, sorry it's taking so long, I'm sure it's so frustrating! Glad to see you again though.

As far as news not much here. Very hard to believe in about 11 weeks we will have our miracle baby boy. Seems so close yet so far.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

 

[moni77]

Willow - sorry for the delays.

Also not much going on. About to start the 3rd trimester and getting nervous and excited at the same time!

 

[caligirl2003]

SashimiMimi,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I got pregnant after 1 month TTC in March 2014 but had a m/c at 8 weeks. My husband and I have been TTC since then with no luck. We just completed our third IUI (Feb 2015), which was unsuccessful, and so devastating. We are planning on starting IVF this next cycle, and it's a scary thought. I am 30, and I never thought it would be this hard to become pregnant again. My doctors aren't necessarily pushing me to do IVF, but they do say it's going to be the fastest route to getting pregnant and with the highest probability of success. After three failed IUIs, I just want an option that has a higher success rate, so am convinced that IVF is the next step for me (and it will be covered by my husband's insurance, which is also amazing).

I'm going to start birth control on CD 5. (I'm at CD1). Do you have any advice for me as I prepare mentally and physically for this rollercoaster ride? We're planning on taking advantage of Comprehensive Chromosome Screening (CCS), which will allow us to test 5-day blastocysts for any potential development issues, thus decreasing the chance of another miscarriage and any other genetic defects. But with CCS, you only get to do transfer one embryo (which is assumed healthy). I don't know how I will cope if IVF fails, especially after failing three times with IUI.

How do you prepare yourself mentally for this challenge? How long were you on birth control before starting IVF meds? Any advice for staying sane during this difficult process?

 

[WillowGrace]

Spoke with my RE office yesterday.... they haven't even submitted for insurance yet! A month ago I was told they were doing all that and to call with day 1, so I could start BCP soon. SO! the wait continues. Maybe April/May at this rate....

 

[SashimiMimi]

Willow I'm really sorry about the delays, that sounds so frustrating. I hope you get to move forward soon with everything.

Hi Cali girl!! I really found the most difficult part of the IVF process was how I felt emotionally about the whole thing. I too didn't think I could handle it if it failed and it was by far the most stressful time in my life. So I really can relate to what you're going through because as you know, I also went through the 3 failed IUIs and it was devastating.

I guess some things that helped me were talking about it as much as possible in forums like this one! I also found a infertility support group through a coworker also going through fertility issued and finding women in the same boat both online and in person made me feel less isolated.

I went to the gym more and did spin classes while I was on BCP. It helped me get a lot of my frustration and anger out over the whole thing. I'm not a fan of working out at ALL but it was a physical release for my heartache.

I saw a fertility hypnotist!!! She was more like a therapist who had been through IVF herself. She had me do some meditations and positive affirmations. Basically I visialized myself on a beach and writing all my fears about IVF not working in the sand, then the waves would wash those fears away. I also told myself positive affirmations before bed how my baby was coming to me and past bad experience with failing was in the past, IVF was in the future and it would be a success.

I downloaded a lot of anxiety meditation apps on my iPhone and listened to them before bed. I had major insomnia during this time and it helped a lot.

I read a book called Spirit Babies to further understand why my son was taking so long to come to me. Thinking about how this was a real spiritual being who would become a real little person helped me realize this was so much more about my body and not being able to get pregnant. He just wasn't ready to come and for some reason he needed to be that sperm and that egg conceived during IVF to be who He is today. I couldn't imagine him being anyone else and he was worth the wait!!

Also find things that make you laugh especially during the two week wait! I took time off work, stayed in bed and watched all seasons of Arrested Development on Netflix. Laughter helps a lot! I think I've mentioned many times that I had one embryo period that survived and was transferred. My fertilization rate was terrible despite having 15 eggs retrieved which means we had no frozen. I didn't think the one little egg would make it and I needed to get my mind off of the negativity.

If you do feel negative or stressed its okay. I was a wreck the whole six weeks from start to finish and it did not impact the outcome. I just checked my old protocol and I was on BCP for only 12 days, had a mini AF and then started injections.

Finally, please know that failure is not the end of the world. I had to tell myself that no matter what happened, I was doing everything I could and IVF would at least give me more answers as to why things weren't working. I did learn that I have terrible egg quality, which is why only one embryo made it by some miracle. The doctor said I would probably never get pregnant again on my own and I would have to do IVF for future siblings if I wanted them. I was okay with that but I did get pregnant again on my own when my son was 13 months and I'm due in 5 weeks with another boy. Back then I couldn't have ever imagined a surprise pregnancy and having two children!

I wish you all the best Cali!! If you need someone to check in with during your IVF journey feel free to PM me and I would be happy to give you my email address. Sometimes it just helps to vent to someone! Good luck!

 

[WillowGrace]

I take my first BCP tomorrow, finally!

The wait for insurance has been long and now it's finally time!

I hope all of you are doing well! New mommies, pregnant mamas, TTC sisters. Updates?

 

[StayHopeful]

Hooray willow, fingers crossed for you! Keep us posted!

My DS turned one this week. It's hard to believe!

 

[SashimiMimi]

That's great willow can't wait to hear about your journey. I'm due with baby 2 next weekend!!! I'm planning a VBAC and hope I can avoid another c-section. I do have a scheduled c section at 41 weeks on March 26 and hope he shows up well before!

 

[moni77]

Yay Willow!!

Sashimi - so close. FXed for your VBAC.

 

[summer2011]

Our little miracle made his debut a whole 6 weeks early!! He's doing wonderful and we are over the moon in love.

Good luck to you on your ivf journey Willow!!

 

[moni77]

Wow summer - congrats! Everyone healthy and home? Please post pics when you have a chance!

 

[StayHopeful]

Congrats, summer!

 

[hopeful15]

Hello!

I read every post of this thread and really felt pain and joy of each one of your journey. I am struggling through infertility for past 3yrs now. We are in unexplained category. My 3rd IUI is about to fail now will know by saturday, I am pretty confident. I know strange. But, really reading this thread I just couldn't resist registering and replying since this is the only thread which really had members supporting each other even after having their babies. eg. Shashimimi and Sunshine24. Congrats on each one of your BFPs and encouragement for women like me who is so depressed. I wish we can restart this thread and help each other.
If i get BFN by saturday I have a scheduled Lap on Sunday 13thApril. The doctor said if he can't possibly find any problem with me than IVF is the only option for us. Lets hope I do get my BFP.

 

[AugustBride6]

Hopeful15...I certainly hope you get your this weekend and won't need that appointment you have set for the 13th! I will hold out hope for you!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Hopeful! I'm glad you found this thread and it's given you hope. Infertility is a lonely experience and I don't think at the time that my husband and family could really understand the complete despair of the whole experience.
I'll never forget how I felt the day my third iui failed. It was the worst day of my life and I thought if that didn't work nothing would.
I'm glad I got to experience IVF because as I've said in previous threads my son wouldn't be who is is today without it and I can't imagine life without him. He was worth the wait and the fails and all the frustration.
I was also told I would never get pregnant naturally because of my poor egg quality combined with some other things. But I did and just had a second boy 2 weeks ago. Back in 2012 I never ever imagined I would have one son let alone 2.
Finding support online and in real life was the only way I got through it.
I have high hopes for you Hopeful. If you ever want to know anything about going through IVF let me know. But fingers crossed your third iui surprises you and you get a bfp.

 

[StayHopeful]

Welcome, hopeful and fx for you that this IUI is all you need. But if you move on to IVF, I feel the same way as SashiMimi. I wouldn't have my son without it and I'm grateful for the experience. This thread was so wonderful for me as I was going through my ttc journey, especially IVF. If you need any information, I'm happy to help as well.

SashiMimi, congrats on your new little boy!

 

[Dini]

Hopeful I am praying you don't need to move towards IVF but as these girls said, it was worth it for them and will be for you! I was lucky and somehow for a natural bfp even after being told My chances were 1-3% and I am ten days from my due date with our little miracle!

Infertility is an awful thing and so lonely and heartbreaking. No one who hasn't gone through it can really get it. I know I lost all faith in my body and it changed me, but the people I met here were life savers!

Please keep us posted about how you are doing!'

 

[hopeful15]

Hello! Ladies,

@Sashimimi, thank u so much for sharing your story congrats on ur second son. I have blood work tmrw and I POAS again today and its BFN so I am prepared for a negative blood test for tmrw.

@Stayhopeful : I feel probably IVF is the only way for us. We are unexplained 32yrs age with no other medical history. I have regular periods husband has good sperm count. It's so disheartening that we have to go IVF route it's so expensive w/o guarantee so we are scared.

@Dini: Gud luck to you and hope you have a healthy baby. Yes infertility is a curse. I do hope we have a miracle.

I will have to undergo Transvaginal Endoscopy and possible Laparoscopy this Sunday April12th. I hope it fixes whatever issues I have.Did anyone of you underwent Laparoscopy and was successful later achieving ur BFP?

This thread and the ladies here are so supportive I really feel lucky to have joined this group. I will keep updated about my surgery on Sunday as well as tomorrows result

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hopeful a very dear friend that I met here on BNB did a lap. It turns out she was suffering from severe endometriosis, so they removed it and she got pregnant naturally right after. They thought she would need IVF but that wasn't the case and she got pregnant naturally with a second baby who was just born 3 days ago.

I know IVF feels like such a gamble and it feels so huge. In hindsight I could absolutely do it again, what I found the hardest was the uncertainty and the emotions I felt during. I knew that either way it would provide me with more answers about what was wrong.

 

[StayHopeful]

I agree with Sashimimi, to me IVF felt like less of a gamble than everything else we tried. The success rate was so much higher and it also gives your doctor so much more insight into what's going on each cycle. They're able to see if it's a fertilization issue, implantation, etc. and even if the first cycle isn't successful, you have so much more information going into the next one. Hang in there, hopeful!