Jesus christ - what has been happening on here? I come back and Mk8 has a baby? Others got pregnant? I've been a bad forum friend =(. Let's start it up again!
I can't believe the years have flown by. Wow- over 2 years for many of us. In the end, it seems many have their take home babies. What a wonderful thing. I do hope those who are still TTC and reading this thread can be hopeful in their moments of despair. I've had so many of those moments and it got worse by the day, treatment after treatment over an unexplained case. All I kept thinking was either WTF or we seriously cannot be unexplained if we kept failing.
AFM...........Well, you all know my journey from the start and it was tough. My update is in my signature. It did not get easier and we did end up doing IVF after those failed IUI's - although the fresh cycle failed too (I often thought of Aleja through this). We then did a frozen cycle and I am now 4 months PREGNANT!!!! YAY!
But as you mommies all know, the journey does not end at the BFP that we all wanted to acheive so much. That joy was short lived before other worries with even more at stake kicks in. Every day that passes is an acheivement for me, from early spotting, to each and every nervous filled ultrasound and testing, it never ever ends. I never even felt comfortable to share the news to try not to jinx myself. You try to absorb all those emotions, anxiety, and stress and then it gets hard to share - I still am scared everyday since it took so much to get here, it seems so fragile. You become a toilet paper checker at each wee, a cramp analyzer, a time keeper counting weeks - basically, an obsessed, crazy mom! I guess it starts here and never ends.
I will never forget infertility, what I had to go through, how it made me feel, and so you find yourself still going into the infertility forums more than the normal pregnancy ones. I guess I still am considered infertile since we didn't get pregnant on our own and ART never really finds you an answer for unexplained couples - it just gives you an outcome. Infertility has made me crazy about this pregnancy tbh! But it has taught me a lifetime of lessons to hopefully be a good mom, a patient, imperfect and brave mom, a mom who will never have all of the answers anymore and all of the control in things we can't control - Because that's what I had to be and what I experienced for over 2 years of my life.
I read a qoute somewhere random that I love so much about having children:
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone
How true is that?! Cheers to all my friends here.