30 yo and TTC #1

[MrsKChicago]

I hope you enjoy the break, lsd. I decided to still use OPKs this month, at least up until I leave for vacation, even though we're not trying this month. I want to get a better idea of the length of my luteal phase - I'm concerned that it's a bit on the short side.

 

[DosPinkies]

Well I have had a couple of symptoms randomly, like a change in appetite and feeling very emotional, but who effing knows if they're anything. I tested this afternoon and negative. It was a cheapie and this in the pm not after a hold, but still...a negative is a negative. I really thought I was pregnant, guys. Really. And now I really think I'm not. I've been studying ff charts, and every time there's spotting, there's a + test within 3 days. It's been 5 days and nothing. I'm now convinced it wasn't IB, because don't you think it'd be + by now if I implanted 5 days ago?? Omg, I'm so furious at my body. Furious for these games it plays.

Update from Friday morning...used a bigboy with FMU and bfn. I even woke up at 4 completely nauseated and gagging. My chart still looks good. My symptoms look good. But the damn test won't stop breaking my heart. I'm due for AF by Sunday or Monday, and I just know a FRER would be showing something by now, right? I guess it didn't work this month. Ouch. I can't ever remember being more brokenhearted than I feel every single month when this happens. This crap is for the birds.

 

[JCM]

At the risk of sounding like my husband, you aren't late until you're late. It's stupid and mean but he's right. I hate it when he's right! I'm sorry you're having a rough day. Can you do something fun to distract yourself this weekend? Too bad we can't all have a girls night!

 

[MrsKChicago]

Virtual girls night! Probably not as fun as it sounds...

 

[JCM]

It's tough when your circle of friends doesn't understand what you're going through. Most of my friends get pregnant just thinking about it. The rest of them don't want any babies!

 

[JCM]

Ahhhhhhh we are ok for iui! So excited!!!

 

[Miskas mommy]

Dos, i'm right there with you.. another bfn this morning... i still haven't completely given up. Its not Over till shows..

 

[lsd2721]

Yay JCM!! Very glad that y'all got the okay to go ahead! Very excited!

Dos, I completely understand! Every month we get excited at the very beginning and then we start getting upset and thinking are we or aren't we pregnant! Trust me, you're still in early days. At least give it 'til this weekend before you have a HUGE day of upsettedness! ( I just made up a word....because that is what I call my day of depression when the witch shows up! ) It really isn't over until the witch shows! So don't get discouraged just yet! Your chart does look good right now! Fx for you!

Miskas, keeping my fx for you as well!

We need some may flowers on this thread! Pulling for everyone!

 

[curiousowl]

ladders, I'm so so sorry. That truly sucks. I'm keeping you and your DH in my thoughts.

Dos, hugs. It's really hard to lose a pet.

I'm currently taking a little break from being a crazy person (I kind of lost it when I realized I didn't O) and just enjoying the rest of my time in CA with family and friends. No OPKs for a few days, no googling. I haven't started the Provera since I've had a couple days of spotting and am hoping things happen on their own. We'll see. I'm not obsessing. Just know I'm rooting for all you ladies in your TWW!

 

[RForReal]

Miskas, you're only 9dpo which is really early! So don't get upset just yet! It's not over til the witch shows! GL!

RforReal, how have you been? Enjoying your new job?!

Thanks for asking! Things are good. I like my new job! It's been really busy. Sorry I haven't been around much. With the change in jobs, I now have to wait a few months before we can go for fertility treatment because of the family medical leave act. If I got pregnant right away with IVF, then I wouldn't be eligible for FML when I was ready to deliver. You have to work there for a year to be eligible. So we are kind of taking a break until august. We still need to meet with a geneticist to talk through my hubby's translocation and what it means for us but based on our doctor, IVF with PGD is our best and maybe only option besides donor sperm. So I've had to come to terms with the fact that I won't be getting pregnant naturally. I'm okay with it but it was a shift in my thinking every month, you know?

But now that I am in a good place with it I think I'll be back around more often! I want to cheer all of you on!

 

[lsd2721]

RforReal, I'm glad you at least have a plan going for you! Now you can mentally prepare yourself and get everything ready!

Y'all, I'm so upset with myself. I had the urge to have a cigarette and gave in! UUUGH. Why do I do this?! Because now I'm just freaking out that I messed up our chance! I wish someone would have come up to me 7 years ago when I started and slap that bugger out of my hands!

 

[DosPinkies]

Out. AF.

Lsd, don't worry - one cigarette is not going to affect TTC. In fact (and I'm not a smoking advocate actually, BUT) if it calms you down, then maybe that was actually a benefit. Have you thought about vaping? My husband is a former smoker and that's what he does when he's got an urge. He only uses the cartridges with the tiniest amount of nicotine it comes in, so it's better than smoking a cigarette and he says it kills the urge just as well.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I have a friend who ended up unexpectedly pregnant. She's a light smoker, and after a lot of discussion with her doctor, she was advised that the effect of occasional smoking was not as negative as the stress that quitting would cause in her case. I definitely don't advise smoking while pregnant/ttc, but I doubt that one cigarette would cause any harm.

 

[JCM]

I agree! It won't hurt anything I'm sure...Dos, I'm bummed. I was really hoping to see a bfp. Have some wine ASAP!!

 

[Miskas mommy]

bummer dos! still no af here... feeling a bit nauseous today... gonna test again monday if af doesnt show

 

[lsd2721]

Oh Dos! NO! I'm so sorry! I think this cycle is going to be the one!

Thanks guys! It has been a year since I officially quit. I have a couple of ciggies on the day of upsettedness but then I don't have any after that until the next day of upsettedness. (the day of upsettedness is the first day of my period) I think I just need to cut it out all together. Which is what I really want. Which means I have to stop allowing myself those few. I just don't want to smoke with a baby and I want to be as healthy as I can be! Thanks for listening and not being so harsh on me!

Good luck Miskas!

Has anyone heard from ladders?! I hope she is ok!

 

[ladders]

I'm okay, well no that's a lie I feel absolutely devastated. I go in for a scan tomorrow to see if everything gone and get my blood results. Luckily dh has been able to take the day off.
I'll be back with you ladies as soon as we start trying for our rainbow baby, I'm just so desperate to have a child now more than ever.

 

[Miskas mommy]

ladders, i cant imagine, i am so sad for you and DH!
I hope everything goes well with the scan, and blood work.

 

[lsd2721]

ladders! Yay. I'm glad you're still here! I'm sorry for what you're going through! It's not easy! And VERY upsetting! But they do say that most women are very fertile after a Miscarriage/Chemical even though I'm proof some people fall through the cracks! Hope everything looks good and you get the ok to go for your rainbow! We're all thinking of you and have you in our thoughts and prayers!

I think I might have ovulated yesterday and I really cross my fingers I did! I got some good BD in and I think I have a shot! Plus I'd love to ovulate early and have a shorter cycle! Incase I didn't get pregnant I can move on!

Miskas, chart is still looking good!

 

[MrsKChicago]

I'll be thinking of you, ladders. We'll be here when you're ready to come back.