35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[tommyg]

Bubat welcome to the forum and this thread. I do wonder if stress is affecting you. I know lots of people think stress is a lot of nonsense but I know stress does affect me and stressful periods in my life (ie exam time) is gurenteed to result in a long cycle for me. Even although I don't think I get stressed I'm sure it doesn't help.

I'm sticking with femara for the 6 cycles, currently on cycle 2, beyond these cycles we will try IUI I'm not sure how many chances I get at it funded before I need to self fund and at that point we will consider which way to go, I think the odds of IVF are better than IUI.

The virtual world is wonderful, you are able to talk openly without the odd looks you get in the RW.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Well after feeling so much better I now feel like crap I take my son to a sort of toddlers group every week but our usual one was closed today so I went to another instead and it was just awful. My DS was the oldest and ALL the other kids were not only younger (by a bit) but each Mum had 2 or 3 children and so of course most of them were babies. It absolutely killed me and for the first time EVER I had to stop myself from crying. I have no idea why I am feeling so bad just now- for so long I have been able to handle it fine but now it seems impossible. Sitting there listening to them talking about their "wonderful babies" and how well they are feeding etc was just so depressing and I was desperate to leave. For the sake of my son though I managed to stay and just played with him and tried to ignore it all. I WISH i could turn off these feelings. Like I said for so long I have been ok with seeing little babies etc but now it just seems like it's so difficult. I think maybe it's because a part of me feels like it's just not going to happen for me....I don't know. Sorry for such a depressing comment - I literally just feel like you girls are the only ppl I can talk to as no one else comes close to understanding! I hope you are all having better days

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Oh and to top things off the 'teacher' asked Ben within 15 mins of us being there if he had any brothers or sisters, to which my beautiful son said "no i don't, but I have my cousins"

 

[eyemom]

Aww orchids *hugs* I understand. That's how I feel every Sunday at church. :-\ Your son sounds like such a sweet boy.

I talked to an older lady I work with some today and she was encouraging. So today was a pretty good day but there are always ups and downs.

 

[tommyg]

Hugs White that sounds a tough day. Picking DS up I had one of the other mums tell me she's 12 weeks. I congratulaed her then she tells me it was her first month, I said jokingly "you are so lucky you make me jealous" it probably wasn't the right thing to say. But I didn't really think before blurting

 

[CaliDreaming]

WhiteOrchid, I have days where I can't stand to be around babies either. Dd now seems to be one of the few children in her preschool class who are only children. There may be one or two others, but the moms I see regularly all have at least two. There was this one mom who had an only child who I hadn't seen in a while, and last week I finally saw her again and of course she had to be holding a newborn in her arms. My whole day was ruined.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Thanks you all so much. It's amazing the difference it makes just knowing how much you all understand so I don't have to deal with the guilt of feeling like that

 

[IsaacRalph]

Totally with you girls it breaks my heart when I see other children Isaacs age and they have a little brother or sister! He adores babies also and know he'd be an awesome big brother! The guilt sometimes is immense. Have a feeling I'm out this month so feeling a bit deflated by it all. It really helps having you girls around

 

[IsaacRalph]

Hey eyemom just looking at your chart abd wondering why you haven't got your cross hairs?

 

[eyemom]

For various reasons, I didn't temp enough first few days before I ov'd. Combine that with an odd higher temp a few days before ov and being a "slow riser," it just didn't pick it up. It always makes me happy to see those crosshairs, but I'm pretty sure I'm 9dpo. Possibly 10 but I doubt it. I don't think I've ever ovulated as early as CD11.

Not temping again today due to weird sleep.

TMI but I think I may be getting a yeast infection. Last time I felt like this was before I found out I was pregnant with the one I lost.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Eyemom - Before my sis found out she was pregnant she thought she was getting a yeast infection also. I've read quite a lot of ppl think that and actually turns out they are preggers! Sorry not meaning to get your hopes up too high but I know for a fact my sis had that and was pregnant! Fingers so tightly crossed for you that this could be your month!!!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Issac - I totally know how you feel, for whatever reason I have been really struggling this week as well. Every time I talk to my sis on skype my DS is SO desperate to speak to his little cousin and says the nicest things ever to him and wants to share all his toys etc....he would make the BEST big brother ever and it is breaking my heart Will write more later but have to run for now x

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Home again! Isaac - how many dpo are you? Is it just the usual post ov/pre AF symptoms that you are getting? Sorry that you feel out of luck - I think it gets harder with each month....
I have no idea what's going on with me - the last 2 days my temps have been more what I would expect after ovulation not before....unusual but hoping I still get a good rise and it doesn't screw things up too much!

 

[IsaacRalph]

Hey orchid! I'm about 9 dpo today and up until 7dpo had awful nausea and the metallic taste in my mouth! Over the last few days they've just disappeared and am feeling super emotional like af is about to start! No cramps for me as yet and boobs aren't at all sore like usual! I find every month my pms symptoms are different I don't always get nausea maybe once every 3rd cycle or so! Don't know why I did it but tested with a frer out of sheer desperation and of course bfn! I only got the tests cuz they we're on offer silly me. I just want October to be here now I want to start this further treatment with iui at least then it's out of my hands and I can pass the problem on. . I also am a bit of a medical geek and quite like going for scans and stuff I find it so interesting! I'm a nurse so maybe that's why and I decided once this chapter of our lives is closed i'll be training to be a fertility nurse and help couples have babies that's my dream job! Can you post your chart on here ? I'm defo so out this month sod it all!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Wow that would be an amazing career for you as you would understand exactly how patients were feeling and what they are going through which would help so many couples before they even started the treatment.

Keep your chin up (although I know it's hard) - as everyone always says it's not over til AF shows and 9dpo is still pretty early to test....I understand how you feel though as I always know as well - days before AF due. Last month I was really hopeful and thought we might have done it as my nipples were really bothering me (which I never get), I had some random sharp pains right up my vagina (again never had) and a week after ovulation I had some cramping which was also new.....sadly it wasn't meant to be though I guess since AF arrived right on schedule. I'm still not understanding why temps so high this month though - if I compare to the baseline FF used last month I have only been below it once (didn't take my temp first 3 days of cycle as was camping) and not sick or been drinking so no reason for it to be up, although I started exercising again after a break so maybe that?? Idk but very strange but will just keep an eye on it.

Also I just had to cancel our Dr's appt for the 25th...Hubby hasn't been for his SA yet and is now away for the next 2 weeks (other than home at weekends so REALLY hoping we don't miss ovulation day). So frustrating because I feel like for the last 19 months we have done nothing and I want to move on with things. That being said I really don't think we can afford fertility treatment so I'm not really sure what I am expecting to come out of more tests..... I just keep hoping it will just happen but then I wonder if our DS was conceived completely out of luck and I'm kidding myself. Why is this journey SO hard?!

Hugs to you all

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

I just wanted to say that I hope you all have a good weekend x

 

[eyemom]

I can't stay on long, but I hope you have a good weekend too! I have a three day weekend starting tomorrow (I usually work on Saturdays) so I am happy happy happy~

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Eyemom- still have my fingers crossed for you! how lovely to have a 3 day weekend!! Not that I can complain though - I have a glass of red wine on hand (since I'm out and allowed!) and a caramel sauce cooking on the oven for caramel,pecan ice cream sundaes! Happy Days!! I also spoke to hubby about my horrible negative, fed up feelings I have been having and he made me feel so much better so all in all I can't complain tonight! hugs to you all

 

[eyemom]

Awesome! I am DROOLING about your caramel sauce! I attempted that ONE time and it was a colossal failure, haha.

We don't even drink (not a moral thing, we just don't care for it that much and non-alcoholic drinks are cheaper, haha). But we've decided if AF arrives in a few days, we are having a sushi and liquor date.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Awesome! I am DROOLING about your caramel sauce! I attempted that ONE time and it was a colossal failure, haha.

We don't even drink (not a moral thing, we just don't care for it that much and non-alcoholic drinks are cheaper, haha). But we've decided if AF arrives in a few days, we are having a sushi and liquor date.

Ooo yum! That sounds like a great idea! And if AF doesn't arrive you can just postpone it for a year!! I wish I didn't like wine - would be so much cheaper but since it is my only vice and we only have some at the weekends I figure it's ok! That being said what I would give to put it on hold for 9+ months!!

The caramel sauce is more like butterscotch really but SUPER good and really easy to make! If you have a sweet tooth let me know and I'll send the recipe (it's super simple!).