35+ TTC 1st Graduates!!! Come on Over!

[lavalux]

Thanks, Sunshine, and the other ladies that have weighed in on the amnio decision. We saw the specialist today. I still don't know what I want to do. This is a very tough decision. On the plus side, we did see that one of the babies is a boy. Can't tell about Baby A. The ultrasound tech thought it was a girl since she couldn't see anything down there, but it could just be positioning. So, we will have to wait another 3 weeks to see if we can get a clearer picture.

Austin,
You have done such a great job with those girls. Hang in there. You are in the best place possible for monitoring. Maybe they will give you some steroid injections and delay labor for another week or two. No matter what, you will be holding your precious babies soon enough! Lots of prayers coming your way for a safe & healthy labor & delivery.

Pablo & Viv ... anytime now! Can't wait for these babies to be rolling in! So exciting!

 

[pablo797]

I've been lurking all day to see if Austin has had her babies. I guess no word yet.

AFM, doc appt went well and they drew some blood and all, but nothing. So while I should have called on Saturday ( doc said she would have put me in the hospital for observation), all is well and I will call if it happens again. Had birthing class again tonight, think we're about as prepared as we can be. Time will tell.

Hope everyone is having a good evening!!
Anna

 

[Mommy's Angel]

I've been lurking all day to see if Austin has had her babies. I guess no word yet.

AFM, doc appt went well and they drew some blood and all, but nothing. So while I should have called on Saturday ( doc said she would have put me in the hospital for observation), all is well and I will call if it happens again. Had birthing class again tonight, think we're about as prepared as we can be. Time will tell.

Hope everyone is having a good evening!!
Anna

I was checking on Charmaine too. I am hoping those three little girls are still in there just to give them more time but know she and THEY are in good hands if they're born now. Waiting patiently to see what the deal is though just like you Anna.

Glad all is well with everything on your end too Anna.

Nothing up here. I guess I've been having round ligaments again. I never know what they are. It's pain on the left side and sometimes on the right. I have to give myself a few minutes to alleviate them and sometimes I have the lower back cramps too. That scares me because the back cramps were what I had with Jackson. Perinatal center says they don't see any contractions on the monitor and if there were it would be way up by the belly button.....I hope they're right. I've been carrying low from the beginning so it wouldn't make sense to have contractions that high...but I figure they're trained..."hopefully" they know more than me.

I got 5 hours straight of sleep last night. I still felt exhausted and took a nap, but 5 hours straight without interruption is great.

Just a question for you ladies. The past couple days Amelia's movement and kicks have been light. There are days when she's stronger and lighter days when they're not as often and are lighter. Is that something to be concerned about?!

Also, I'm noticed that when I'm sleeping I don't feel her moving or kicking. Today I didn't feel her much this morning and I didn't really start feeling her until around 6pm. Since then she's been kicking or moving periodically and it's midnight and she's moving too. She seems to be more of an evening mover between 6pm and 2or 3am and sleeps when I do as well as into most of the morning and afternoon.

I just wanted to see if this is normal or if they're supposed to move all day long

 

[Vivienne]

Don't worry Rebekah. Mine's a night mover usually. During the day when you are more active they sleep apparently lulled by your movements. There is no night/day for them just when you are active and when you are quiet.

Someone also told me that when they wriggle at night like at 11pm 2am 5am etc that will be the times they will want feeding. Sounds a bit old wives tale-ish but who knows!

Svet-good luck for tomorrow. ACE IT!!

Lava, yay for boy bits!

Chris, what happened in the mall?

Glad you are feeling better Anna

So waiting to hear about Austin!!!!

AFM: Just waiting waiting now. Very uncomfortable and big. One of my ante natal classmates had her baby yesterday. A little girl, Lexi. First in our group. So hopefully we shall all follow in quick succession.

Had a breast feeding class today, learning about latching, baby-led feeding and what to expect after birth. Watched a video of just after a birth and it was amazing to watch the baby actually moving up the mother searching out the breast and then latching on and kneading the breast with his little hands!!

 

[sunshine71]

Like a lot of people, I keep checking back for news from Charmaine...

Viv - nothing in particular happened at the mall, just a bunch of people not paying attention and getting in my way when I was trying to get in and get out. You know - walking slowly and aimlessly in the middle of the walkway, stopping suddenly directly in front of you for no apparent reason... that kind of stuff irritates the cr@p out of me on a GOOD day. Throw pregnancy into the mix, and look out! Some woman stopped right in front of me and immediately switched directions, almost running right in to me. Then had the nerve to glare at me like I was at fault... grrrr... pregnancy be damned - I wanted to throttle the bi+ch. Yep. Time to go home.

It sounds like your BF class is pretty informative. I might just have to look in to taking one. If they're not all filled up by now... I can't believe you're almost there! Hang tight - your will be here in your arms before you know it!

Chris #1 - Good luck!!!

Lava - yay on your little man!! Can't wait to hear if he'll have a brother or sister!

MA - Viv's right - don't worry. I'm (obviously) not a doctor, but it sounds completely normal to me. In fact, mine's the same way.

Glad you're better, Anna.

Good morning to everyone else!

 

[svetayasofiya]

Thanks girls for all the well wishes! You're support means sooo much! I've got this in the bag! It's the only way I can think! They will not bring me down!!!!!! I've a couple hours this morning for review... then it's shower time and off to the exam. Please please please let this be the day I conquer CSI!!!!

Charmaine!! We're all thinking of you honey! Hope everything is going well and that you can give us some news soon!

 

[pablo797]

morning all, it's a skirt day. Yep just couldn't do pants, they sounded so confining.

Svet, you go girl!! Today is the day!! All my thoughts and brain cells I can spare are with you.

Sunshine, know what you mean about the mall. People who have no sense of sef awareness in their surroundings drive me crazy. We get it all the time here as most are on vacation and have no idea where they are or where their going. I get that,but for gods sake look beore making a U turn in the middle of the road!! Hope you are well, I always forget how close you are as well.

MA, my girl definitely goes through spurts of activity and non activity. Lately it's the hicups every time I eat. I wouldn't worry unless ypu notice a drastic change either way.

Lava, didn't realize you knew one of the babies was a boy!!

Vivienne, hang in there, any day now! I know you feel huge. It will all be over soon. I just keep telling myself that while i'm really uncomortable now, at least i'm not up changing diapers and feeding every two hours. Baby is happily taken care of.

AFM, nothing new. Had a dream DH and I had sex twice this morning, alas only a dream. But it was enough to kick start labor!! May have to try it! Happy hump day!
Anna

 

[Rowan75]

hi all

Austin youve done so well to get so far - glad you're all being looked after - hope all goes really really well x

Ive been in dresses everyday since 9 weeks no way I can do trousers or even leggings not sure what Ill wear in winter

MA - martha moves about mainly when I sit and some nights shes strong enough to wake me up between 2 and 5am and some nights I either sleep through or she is settled - sounds like its normal x

 

[AustinGurrl]

Hi girls!!!!!
No babies yet... Sorry I have not logged on to post, but your thoughts and wishes truly overwhelm me! You guys are the BEST!!!

So this is Day 4 of my captivity... not really, they nurses are truly wonderful! Have been a bit irritated as my peri has only stopped by once to see me and my ob is still on vacation, but have seen one of her partners a few minutes every morning...

Here is where we stand: test results yesterday & BP were really good, back down today, but still not in dangerous zones... SO - "wait and see" is still the game plan! Promise, as much as I can I will pop in and let you all know... MY guess is that we are now talking sooner than later, possibly the end of the week...

33 weeks is tomorrow, so that is good!!!

Svet - GOOD LUCK, HON!!! Rooting for you!!!

Anna - did I read right that you are labor???? So happy to hear that all was well at your dr appt... Hope I didn't scare you, girl.... Thinking of you!!!

MA - Even with 3, there are hours that would pass when I wouldn't feel much movement.... I don't think you have any cause for concern either... Amelia just resting up to squirm away later on!!!

Viv - So excited for you!!!!! You are almost there, girl!!!!! Hugs!!

Lava - Congrats on the little guy!!! So exciting... whatever choice you make on the amnio, will be the right one for you.... I know its a stressful time and I wish you relaxation and peace with your decision.

Sunshine - Hang in there~! Just so you know, I am green with envy that you're out shopping... I am now (of course!) thinking of all kinds of things that I haven't got yet... Oh well... I found the bf'ing class interesting, even if the lady teaching it was a bit of a "fanatic" in my opinion... there is good information, tho and if you're like me (knows NOTHING about it) even the basics were helpful info...

Hugs to all and THANK YOU for all your wishes and prayers!!!!!
Charmaine

 

[sunshine71]

Thanks for checking in, Austin! to you - we're all thinking of you!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Thank you all! I've been wondering what to be concerned about. She's back to kicking more today but right now seems quiet.

So sorry I haven't been posting as much. I've honestly been exhausted around the clock. I went out last weekend and I couldn't WAIT to get out and do something. Once I was out, we did some country driving, went to Ithaca and then I went to some stores and got in the hover round buggy thing they have in there. By the time we were done with that, I honestly felt exhausted again. I'm thinking even though I can do things now, it won't be a whole lot. I just don't seem to have the energy. Though I did get a good 5 hours straight of sleep yesterday. Today we're back to hourly wakings for me to pee and she's also putting weight on my back end too so now I feel as though I have to poo every time I'm on the toilet. (sorry for the tmi)

Things are pretty much quiet over here...though I DO have to share something that happened with my mother on the phone...

You all know that I don't have the greatest relationship with my parents. I love them, but they just make things difficult. They are not very emotional people and with the death of our son made things stressful for us. When I need them for support, they just don't have the makeup to be there. If we need money or anything material, they are there! It's just they're odd way of showing things. SO, my mom wanted to put on our baby shower.

The baby shower is WAY out of my comfort zone as I don't like to be the center of parties, I only like to put them on. My mom really wanted this so I figured I'd bite the bullet and let her be excited. Little did I know that my husband and I would be helping her. The idea of the shower is for the parents to relax, not us! She's got my husband bringing things back and forth to my mil, she has him traveling back and forth to her house on his days off which is an hour there and back.....and she expects him to go to work the night before get out and wake up early in the morning to help her with food for the event when he'll be getting to be around 2am.

It's been hard for him to balance work and home life as he has had to take on many of the chores around here. Stress has caused him to have medical issues, etc. and of course my mom isn't helping.

The other day she calls to tell us that one of the baskets she's planning on giving away at the baby shower is a 911 memorial basket.

I asked her if she was kidding and she said it was BEAUTIFUL. I told her while I didn't doubt that, I felt it was an inappropriate gift to be giving out at our baby shower. She got SO MAD at me. I thought, are you kidding?! This is supposed to be a HAPPY OCCASION celebrating the birth of your grand daughter NOT a memorial where hundreds of people died. Did she also think how that would affect me STILL dealing with the loss of my son?

I mean I've already been told there are possibilities that Amelia's birth could bring up some emotions that we may have missed with our son. While I'm hoping it won't, I also know that both Doug and I have been emotional thinking about the love and loss we have and how Amelia won't get to meet her big brother.

Again this is another issue where my mom is SO far away from emotion or feeling that she doesn't get the reasons behind WHY it's not appropriate to give away a memorial gift at a freakin shower for crying out loud!

I love them dearly but it's SO HARD to deal with them and I often wonder if the real reason behind my mom doing this is because of how it looks for everyone else and honestly has nothing to do with celebrating this miracle.

I didn't want this stupid shower, I'd have rather put on a sip and see knowing that it would be Amelia as the center and there would be no drama. In the end I still want my mom to celebrate in "her" way but I HAVE to make boundaries like this or she'll go haywire.

She hasn't called me since. My thought is she'll do it anyways and disregard our wishes for her NOT to do that as a giveaway.

Aside from that little piece of drama, things have been pretty quiet. I'm enjoying the peace while I can.

Love to you all.

 

[lavalux]

Good luck, Svet!!! Let us know how the exam goes.

Austin,
Thanks for checking in.

 

[svetayasofiya]

MA- What on earth would be in a 911 memorial basket and why on earth would she be giving it away at your shower? Is she doing a raffle? or is it a gift for a game won? Sorry, not trying to add to your stress, but I'm with ya on the it's weird.

Charmaine- glad to hear the baby's are still safe and sound inside mama! Captivity I am sure that is what it feels like. Hang in there and please please please keep us posted.

Anna- go jump your husband!

Soooooooooooooooooooo ya'll wanna know? It was f*ckin brutal!!! Sorry for the language but it's really very appropriate in this instance. I thought I was going to pass out during the exam I was so overheated with stress, then I started to panic because for awhile there it looked like I was going to run out time. Man, I studied.... I can not even begin to explain the concept of this exam and how hard they make it to pass. Ive done my best. I know this time round I knew things that I didn't know the last two times, so hopefully it's enough to get those marks I was missing. I should know by Monday if I passed. Not much more I can do about it now. I nearly burst into tears when it was done. It's just been such a stressful 7 months doing this course... and now writing 4 exams since May. That with working full time, keeping a house, trying to get ready for baby, and possibly taking time for myself? Yeah right. I now have 11 days until my due date for just that but we'll see if baby girl arrives early and I still have so much to organize for her arrival. Oh yeah, and I am still itchy.
Anyway............. what will be will be. More than anything I want this friggin designation now. I have worked so hard for it, I refuse to give up.

So I seriously have to stop watching 'A Baby Story' on TLC every morning... I am starting to get traumatized. Am I alone in massive panic/worry over labour??? I think I think about it too much...

 

[Mommy's Angel]

MA- What on earth would be in a 911 memorial basket and why on earth would she be giving it away at your shower? Is she doing a raffle? or is it a gift for a game won? Sorry, not trying to add to your stress, but I'm with ya on the it's weird.

Charmaine- glad to hear the baby's are still safe and sound inside mama! Captivity I am sure that is what it feels like. Hang in there and please please please keep us posted.

Anna- go jump your husband!

Soooooooooooooooooooo ya'll wanna know? It was f*ckin brutal!!! Sorry for the language but it's really very appropriate in this instance. I thought I was going to pass out during the exam I was so overheated with stress, then I started to panic because for awhile there it looked like I was going to run out time. Man, I studied.... I can not even begin to explain the concept of this exam and how hard they make it to pass. Ive done my best. I know this time round I knew things that I didn't know the last two times, so hopefully it's enough to get those marks I was missing. I should know by Monday if I passed. Not much more I can do about it now. I nearly burst into tears when it was done. It's just been such a stressful 7 months doing this course... and now writing 4 exams since May. That with working full time, keeping a house, trying to get ready for baby, and possibly taking time for myself? Yeah right. I now have 11 days until my due date for just that but we'll see if baby girl arrives early and I still have so much to organize for her arrival. Oh yeah, and I am still itchy.
Anyway............. what will be will be. More than anything I want this friggin designation now. I have worked so hard for it, I refuse to give up.

So I seriously have to stop watching 'A Baby Story' on TLC every morning... I am starting to get traumatized. Am I alone in massive panic/worry over labour??? I think I think about it too much...

Hi Kris.

Oh I'm SO sorry about the testing. How frustrating they make it this hard. I pray you passed it and will watch for you on Monday. I'm sure your having a panic until then. It's hard to balance everything all at once. Baby will be worth it though. I can't believe your due date is 11 days away. I CAN'T wait to see the little one. SO excited! I'm excited I have less than two months left. I can't imagine how exciting it will be to know there are days left.

As for my mom. She's doing some games and then yes, raffling off some baskets. One was the 911 one. Usually she has some good ideas, but this one was over the top. Even my husband told her no. She got short tempered and hasn't called since. I've decided to let her deal with her own emotion and she can call when she's ready. In the meantime, maybe Doug and I will get a couple weeks of peace without her demanding things need to be done. As I said, I just honestly don't think her or my dad have an emotional filter. I don't think they notice things of emotion. They keep giving the excuse that their generation doesn't cry and they don't talk much. I think the issue is just disfunction. I have NO IDEA how I got out of this with some sort of normalcy but am sure glad I did. NOW I have to figure out how to separate that toxic behavior from my daughter without being cruel to both the grandparents and our daughter/the grandaughter. I want her to know them...I just don't want all the smoking and toxic behaviors that come with it. I have NO IDEA how I'm going to do this. I'll just leave it in Gods hands and see what happens.

Amelia's back to kicking hard tonight. I read last night that as long as you feel movement and even if it's once in awhile, it's okay....it's when you don't feel anything for a day or two that you should contact the Dr.'s So as you all said...it's normal.

 

[Vivienne]

Rebekah, I'm sorry your mum is such a handful. I just keep thanking Lord that my mother is such a blessing.

Svet you need to RELAX now. I know it's easy to say, I'm actually quite bored. But I am telling myself I need the rest now as I won't be able to soon. Put it all behind you and concentrate on the future.

I agree Anna, if you can, jump hubby!! I really want to during the day but by the time he gets home I'm over it

Charmaine, I can imagine it feels really boring just sitting around, I am going nuts at home.

AFM, my darling mummy asked me was I afraid?? I said of what? And she said of labour etc. I said, of the labour, not really, but I am crapping myself (language) over the end result. I keep thinking most nights now, oh my god, what have I done!! I have signed up to look after another human being for at least 18 years!!!!

I have never had the maternal instinct thing and neither did my mum (her pregnancy with me was a mistake, my parents didn't want children!)
I admit I also have never warmed to children ( bit late now) So now I am concerned that once I have had him, I will probably love him but will I like him, will I want to care for him? Oh well, it's probably just a fear of the unknown!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[AustinGurrl]

A quick check-in before bedtime....

Rebekah - So sorry you are having mom issues... I think the idea of a "time out" is a good one... Bless your heart! Sounds like you have your hands full with the shower... Just remember that the shower IS for Amelia... and I hope that you are able to relax and enjoy! And to tune out your mother, if need be...

Viv - I think you have already answered your own questions... From how you describe, it sounds like you and YOUR mother are very close and have a wonderful relationship, which just shows how very much she loves HER baby girl .... I have always been a rather neutral person when it comes to babies/children, as well... And still feel that way and have the same concerns as you do... My mom told me that there is a very simple answer: It's DIFFERENT when they are YOURS...

Chris/Svet - Congratulations on getting through the test! I had friends who sat for the bar exam when 8-9 mos pg and just cannot imagine the stress... I hope you sleep late, get up and have a truly decadent, spoil yourself, do whatever you want to do day tomorrow! I think a lovely spa pedi may be in order for you and would take you for one if I could!

Day 3 of my captivity comes to a close... Jk! Hoping for good labs tomorrow! I am ecstatic that I was allowed to take a shower and can sleep without monitors tonight! YAY! Meaning that I will be given an Ambien and not disturbed until around 6am. Heaven!

Wishing you all sweet dreams!!!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Rebekah, I'm sorry your mum is such a handful. I just keep thanking Lord that my mother is such a blessing.

Svet you need to RELAX now. I know it's easy to say, I'm actually quite bored. But I am telling myself I need the rest now as I won't be able to soon. Put it all behind you and concentrate on the future.

I agree Anna, if you can, jump hubby!! I really want to during the day but by the time he gets home I'm over it

Charmaine, I can imagine it feels really boring just sitting around, I am going nuts at home.

AFM, my darling mummy asked me was I afraid?? I said of what? And she said of labour etc. I said, of the labour, not really, but I am crapping myself (language) over the end result. I keep thinking most nights now, oh my god, what have I done!! I have signed up to look after another human being for at least 18 years!!!!

I have never had the maternal instinct thing and neither did my mum (her pregnancy with me was a mistake, my parents didn't want children!)
I admit I also have never warmed to children ( bit late now) So now I am concerned that once I have had him, I will probably love him but will I like him, will I want to care for him? Oh well, it's probably just a fear of the unknown!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, I've heard some women say the same thing. A friend who had her baby a couple months ago had similar views and once she had her daughter, she said she never would have imagined she could love someone that deep. She's been baby crazy since.

I suppose my fear is I'll be a crappy mother. I love her, but sometimes with my mood swings I fear I'll be THE WORST mommy. I see how I treat Doug sometimes and think...oh my goodness, I pray first and foremost I don't do that in front of Amelia and two, that she will never feel condemned but loved and supported unconditionally.


As for your mother, its kind of funny. Your mother had you by mistake...yet you have a great relationship with her. My thought is that you have someone to look to while raising your own. Someone who by the looks of it, raised you well and loved you a great deal. Apparently you like each other so that seems like it's something to cherish for your own relationship with your own child.

Mine had me WAY too young. I was raised by my grandparents at a young age. My parents moved in the apartment up top from them THEY SAY to help my grandparents out, what ended up happening was while they were gone working or playing games with their friends, I built a relationship with my grandparents that became more of a parent/daughter relationship. My dad says it was the biggest mistake they made. I, on the other hand believe that their love and parenting helped me get out of that bondage that my parents are under. I learned to love and was loved. Sadly much more took place and my grandfather passed early on...then my gram and I were separated from each other when my parents decided they wanted to parent a rebellious teenager.

I don't doubt they both love me in their own way, but I've never really felt the connection. Especially when they disowned me for a year because I was dating someone they didn't approve of. They just wiped me clean as though I were never alive. I'm not sure Amelia could EVER do anything that would warrant me to ignore her and not love her anymore. In fact, I pray that as God loves me without condition...so too, will I love my daughter and pray for her well being even when she makes decisions I may not approve of.



I don't think I'd worry too much Viv. Though you were a surprise, it seems as though your mother found great joy when you came along. Something I think will be handed down to your own child.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

A quick check-in before bedtime....

Rebekah - So sorry you are having mom issues... I think the idea of a "time out" is a good one... Bless your heart! Sounds like you have your hands full with the shower... Just remember that the shower IS for Amelia... and I hope that you are able to relax and enjoy! And to tune out your mother, if need be...

Viv - I think you have already answered your own questions... From how you describe, it sounds like you and YOUR mother are very close and have a wonderful relationship, which just shows how very much she loves HER baby girl .... I have always been a rather neutral person when it comes to babies/children, as well... And still feel that way and have the same concerns as you do... My mom told me that there is a very simple answer: It's DIFFERENT when they are YOURS...

Chris/Svet - Congratulations on getting through the test! I had friends who sat for the bar exam when 8-9 mos pg and just cannot imagine the stress... I hope you sleep late, get up and have a truly decadent, spoil yourself, do whatever you want to do day tomorrow! I think a lovely spa pedi may be in order for you and would take you for one if I could!

Day 3 of my captivity comes to a close... Jk! Hoping for good labs tomorrow! I am ecstatic that I was allowed to take a shower and can sleep without monitors tonight! YAY! Meaning that I will be given an Ambien and not disturbed until around 6am. Heaven!

Wishing you all sweet dreams!!!

I want an ambien SO BAD! They said they wouldn't give me one until I'm farther along. I'm flipping 31wks right now. I see your 32wks. I hope they'll allow me one soon. I miss that stuff! How is it that they won't disturb you until then? They kept coming in every 4 hours for me. Maybe because they had to test my bloodsugars?? Well, get some needed rest and think of me while your on that stuff. I LOVE IT!

Please keep posting with us as much as you can. I love hearing from you!

 

[lavalux]

Viv,
I can really relate to your concerns. I have the same fears. Austin, Svet, & MA had such great responses. You are going to be a wonderful mom.

Austin,
Glad your "captivity" is going well. Hope you got an awesome sleep. I can't do Ambien I had hallucinations on it once ... saw ants crawling everywhere on me and on the walls, and scratched myself silly while screaming before I finally fell asleep. I envy people that can take it.

Svet,
Congrats on completing the exam. Definitely get a pedicure or massage or something. You deserve it!

MA,
You seem like you have a very mature understanding of your relationship with you parents & have created necessary boundaries for your own emotional health. I am sure you have worked very hard to get to that point. It doesn't mean that the things they do aren't frustrating & sometimes deeply hurtful. But you have a good sense of who you are & you are not your mom. Being pregnant is a good time to process how you feel about the way you were raised and how you & your husband want to do it. You will also be an amazing mom.

AFM,
Even with my Zofran, some nights I'm just so sick still. Last night was one of those nights. I had to force myself to eat various bites of food but everything made me ill. Even a McDonald's French fry run was unsuccessful & I almost thew up in my husband's car and then could not stop crying. I was just overtired, over-emotional, and wondering how I will take care of two babies when I can't even feed myself properly. I know that it was just the hormones talking, but I was feeling very depressed. I am also struggling to make my decision about an amnio and I guess I'm leaning towards it, but can't imagine going thru the pain of a miscarriage or being faced with poor test results. I also need to confess that whenever I've imagined having a child, it was a daughter. Learning we definitely have at least once boy on the way is exciting, but throws my whole baby fantasy into a spiral. Having one of each would be perfect, but I have got to get my head around the fact that Baby A may not be a girl. There is just so much personal investment about gender for me for some reason & I am just now recognizing all these loaded feelings coming to the surface. Then I feel guilty because of course I am so grateful to God that we are even pregnant at all & should just be praying for healthy babies regardless of gender. Anyway, I slept pretty well last night so hopefully today will be a better day.

Thanks for letting me vent, ladies!

 

[AustinGurrl]

Viv,
I can really relate to your concerns. I have the same fears. Austin, Svet, & MA had such great responses. You are going to be a wonderful mom.

Austin,
Glad your "captivity" is going well. Hope you got an awesome sleep. I can't do Ambien I had hallucinations on it once ... saw ants crawling everywhere on me and on the walls, and scratched myself silly while screaming before I finally fell asleep. I envy people that can take it.

Svet,
Congrats on completing the exam. Definitely get a pedicure or massage or something. You deserve it!

MA,
You seem like you have a very mature understanding of your relationship with you parents & have created necessary boundaries for your own emotional health. I am sure you have worked very hard to get to that point. It doesn't mean that the things they do aren't frustrating & sometimes deeply hurtful. But you have a good sense of who you are & you are not your mom. Being pregnant is a good time to process how you feel about the way you were raised and how you & your husband want to do it. You will also be an amazing mom.

AFM,
Even with my Zofran, some nights I'm just so sick still. Last night was one of those nights. I had to force myself to eat various bites of food but everything made me ill. Even a McDonald's French fry run was unsuccessful & I almost thew up in my husband's car and then could not stop crying. I was just overtired, over-emotional, and wondering how I will take care of two babies when I can't even feed myself properly. I know that it was just the hormones talking, but I was feeling very depressed. I am also struggling to make my decision about an amnio and I guess I'm leaning towards it, but can't imagine going thru the pain of a miscarriage or being faced with poor test results. I also need to confess that whenever I've imagined having a child, it was a daughter. Learning we definitely have at least once boy on the way is exciting, but throws my whole baby fantasy into a spiral. Having one of each would be perfect, but I have got to get my head around the fact that Baby A may not be a girl. There is just so much personal investment about gender for me for some reason & I am just now recognizing all these loaded feelings coming to the surface. Then I feel guilty because of course I am so grateful to God that we are even pregnant at all & should just be praying for healthy babies regardless of gender. Anyway, I slept pretty well last night so hopefully today will be a better day.

Thanks for letting me vent, ladies!

Awww Lava - Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time!!! I hope this nausea thing passes quickly for you! It must be awful...

The ambien IS great... the first night, the nurse told me that some people have hallucinations.. so I guess its not too uncommon. Thank goodnes, no for me. Ants? Yikes!

I completely understand your feelings about the babies... I think I even talked about the way I was feeling on here when we found out three girls... THAT news was more shocking to me than triplets... I am very excited about the girls, but confess I, too, really wanted at least one of them to be a boy... 2 boys & 1 girl would have been my choice, as if I could have made one. Makes me guilty even saying that... But I love sports and wanted to do the "football mom" thing... (I am from TEXAS after all ... lol... and we do love our football)... So now, we'll just see if one or more are cheerleaders!!!

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you not to feel bad about your feelings... I am sure more than one of us on here has felt similarly...