35+ TTC 1st Graduates!!! Come on Over!

[codegirl]

No there checking next monday a week from when I had the first one done. I'm really getting frustrated with the clinical aspect. I had to call her to find out if I go to the high risk center and she said I have several weeks before they do that. SEVERAL? They have to do a cerclage dummy at 13 weeks. Someone has to monitor my insulin pump too because my endochrinologist won't "touch me" his words because of lawsuit. So I HAVE to see the perionatologist. I'm waiting to hear from her tomorrow when she asks the Dr. Hopefully they'll be scared with the monitoring of the insulin pump and send me earlier than they usually would. I think between both establishments, maybe I'll get better care this time around by someone.

Svet, thanks for your comment. I REALLY appreciate your encouragement and love dear friend.

Congrats Codegirl. A heads up. With my last son, the first thing the OB told me was that they'll have to automatically do a c-section because they baby would be too big. BEFORE he even knew what the baby's size was going to be.

My thought is they LIKE to induce or schedule c-sections because it gets them home in time for dinner. Dr.'s no longer LIKE to wait for women to birth naturally and vaginally. In fact, ask the floor how often they perform natural births and you may get plenty of the medical staff saying none.

While I had my pump placed last pregnancy there was a women with diabetes who had her baby TO TERM (she put her foot down) NATURALLY without a c-section. He was a 12lb baby. She didn't even have an epesiotomy. So there's my answer to some of the issues pertaining to quick birthing. In many cases, inducing is harder on the mother and baby. It hurts more and makes it a little bit harder for baby to attatch right after giving birth. For me, I don't mind doing it if it's in my babies best interest, but if I'm doing it because they're pushing me...NO WAY!! If there is no proof or cause I'm allowing my baby to come naturally.

Some dr. do like to induce or schedule a c-section but I have learnt over the years since my first pregnancy about saying "no". I've been reading lots on all the issues and think I have a fairly good understanding on when it might be necessary and when I'll be saying "nope".

My induction was hard last time and I won't opt for it again if I have a choice. That being said, I also won't put my baby at risk.

I won't ever say yes to a scheduled c-section because of GD though. There might be other reasons that this is necessary, but I just don't see it for my particular pregnancy.

What I am hoping for is that because my Baby Dr. refered me to this OB, that this OB won't be an induction/c-section pusher. They have been really good so far at getting me in front of specialists that seem to have the same philosiphy as they do, which is to try and do everything as natural as possible without risking momma and baby.

Last time the Dr. stayed in my birth room for over 4 hours without leaving because E wasn't recovering from each contraction like she would like. They are super Dr. and I'm very please so far with my care.

 

[pablo797]

MA, we posted at the same time, seems to be my m.o. today. I think you are right to be an advocate for your own health. My ob didn't want to see me until 10-12 weeks and I basically insisted given my age and that I'm on a medication that I wanted monitored. Plus so many issues can arise. What if I weren't educated about nutrition and wasn't taking a prenatal vitamin and folic acid? By 12 weeks the ability to prevent downs or other early birth defects via diet and vitamins would be too late!!! They never asked me if I was taking a prenatal or any vitamins. Just wanted to see me at 12 weeks. I get that there are things that can go wrong that are un-controlable, but there are a lot of things new moms need to know. Plus I was / am on a medication, like you, that needs monitoring. They never asked me if i was on any medication, just see you at 12 weeks!!! So I demanded to be seen. As always be an advocate for your own health and good luck with the struggle!!

Promise last post of the day, wow I'm chatty today.

Vivienne, how are you??

 

[Mommy's Angel]

No there checking next monday a week from when I had the first one done. I'm really getting frustrated with the clinical aspect. I had to call her to find out if I go to the high risk center and she said I have several weeks before they do that. SEVERAL? They have to do a cerclage dummy at 13 weeks. Someone has to monitor my insulin pump too because my endochrinologist won't "touch me" his words because of lawsuit. So I HAVE to see the perionatologist. I'm waiting to hear from her tomorrow when she asks the Dr. Hopefully they'll be scared with the monitoring of the insulin pump and send me earlier than they usually would. I think between both establishments, maybe I'll get better care this time around by someone.

Svet, thanks for your comment. I REALLY appreciate your encouragement and love dear friend.

Congrats Codegirl. A heads up. With my last son, the first thing the OB told me was that they'll have to automatically do a c-section because they baby would be too big. BEFORE he even knew what the baby's size was going to be.

My thought is they LIKE to induce or schedule c-sections because it gets them home in time for dinner. Dr.'s no longer LIKE to wait for women to birth naturally and vaginally. In fact, ask the floor how often they perform natural births and you may get plenty of the medical staff saying none.

While I had my pump placed last pregnancy there was a women with diabetes who had her baby TO TERM (she put her foot down) NATURALLY without a c-section. He was a 12lb baby. She didn't even have an epesiotomy. So there's my answer to some of the issues pertaining to quick birthing. In many cases, inducing is harder on the mother and baby. It hurts more and makes it a little bit harder for baby to attatch right after giving birth. For me, I don't mind doing it if it's in my babies best interest, but if I'm doing it because they're pushing me...NO WAY!! If there is no proof or cause I'm allowing my baby to come naturally.

Some dr. do like to induce or schedule a c-section but I have learnt over the years since my first pregnancy about saying "no". I've been reading lots on all the issues and think I have a fairly good understanding on when it might be necessary and when I'll be saying "nope".

My induction was hard last time and I won't opt for it again if I have a choice. That being said, I also won't put my baby at risk.

I won't ever say yes to a scheduled c-section because of GD though. There might be other reasons that this is necessary, but I just don't see it for my particular pregnancy.

What I am hoping for is that because my Baby Dr. refered me to this OB, that this OB won't be an induction/c-section pusher. They have been really good so far at getting me in front of specialists that seem to have the same philosiphy as they do, which is to try and do everything as natural as possible without risking momma and baby.

Last time the Dr. stayed in my birth room for over 4 hours without leaving because E wasn't recovering from each contraction like she would like. They are super Dr. and I'm very please so far with my care.

I wish we had Dr.'s like that here in Central NY. We have a high C-section rate in our county. There are even few hospitals that will do vbacs for women who have had prior c-sections. It's just really crazy around here. I find I'm advocating. After my second trimester loss in 09' I'm not planning to be ANYBODYS guinea pig. "I" am the consumer. They are hired by ME. If I'm not comfortable with their service, I'll find someone who will give me the service I need.

I lost my mucus plug from an accident and the nurse wouldn't listen to me. Had she listened, the Dr.'s should have put an antibacterial suppository in the cervix with a cerclage and Jackson may have made it. Instead, not having a mucus plug, I got bv and it forced my sons amniotic sac to buldge and delivery was inevitable. They kept trying to get me to take drugs. Had I not had my natural delivery with full back labor, Jackson wouldn't have lived the 25 minutes he did. So we got 25 blessed moments with our dear boy.

THIS time If I notice something, I'm not planning on just sitting by thinking they know what their doing. If I sense something, they WILL follow through.

Not to sound rude or anything.

I wish we had the medical staff you speak of. I don't find I've been listend to here in this area. It was different when we lived in Ohio. Not sure why

 

[codegirl]

I wish everyone could have the kind of care I've been able to experience. That totally sucks about how your birth of Jackson went

My bestest gf pushed really hard to have the birth she wanted with her first which allowed her 4 hours with little Jessica (serious birth defect). I know that even 14 years later, that time she had with Jessica was really important and helped make her birth experience with her 2nd even more important. She had to push hard though, at that time the Dr.'s she had sounded more like what you've experienced.

I also have hired a Doula and she totally helps me and DH advicate for the type of birth we want. She can't say anything directly to the medical staff but she sure does help us set ourselves up for less conflict during birth by having our birthplan summary initialled by our dr. She does a lot more than that and I found her so indispensable that she was the first person I called once we went "public" about this pregnancy. Is someone like that an option for you?

I pray that you find the kind of care and support you need for this pregnancy and birth experience!!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

As a physician it makes me so sad to hear about bad experiences people have Rebekah I hope that things are MUCH better for you this time around!!!

Anna yes I intend on hanging out with you ladies if that's OK

So exciting to see all these first trimester ladies!!! We just started TTC'ing for our second. I've been trying to temp but it's hard to think of it now first thing in the morning with an 8 month old to tend to and having to get ready for work. I'm just going to assume that ovulation is still taking place day 16/17 of my cycles and see what happens. I never really had any other signs (changes in CM, cramping, etc...) so other than temping, we'll really be winging it The breast feeding mixed into all this may add another level of complexity

Hope everyone is having a great hump day!!!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Oh and I have to add, we LOVED our doula!!! I still ended in C-section due to CPD but I thought it was a wonderful experience nonetheless. I will be having an elective C-section the next time around since I can't deliver vaginally so we likely won't hire one this time around. Makes me sad, but what can you do?

 

[MissMuffet08]

Hi Everyone! Lots of stuff has happened since the last time I was on the site! MA I will be praying for your Dr's to provide you with the medical care that you need and deserve. Anna that is weird that they did not have you come in earlier than 12 weeks. I am a Kaiser member and they have to confirm your pregnancy before you can even see a Dr. Once it is confirmed, they force you to take a Pre-natal class like a week after where they go into nutrition, vitamins, breastfeeding, delivery options, screening options. You also have to do the Glucouse drink and they do blood test for STD's and immunizations. Kaiser normally gets a bad rap, but they are pretty good with the pregnancy thing - so far.

Anna as for your friend - That is a hard one. Perhaps give her another week and then call her back. Like you said she may be processing and not ready to talk especially if she is still having issues TTC. I would suggest that if you call her back and get VM not to leave a lengthy message and wait until you can actually speak with her.

Junebug- yes, please stay with us as we love having you.

I hope that everyone else is having a good week (is it me or is this week going by soooo slowly!).

Best,
Steph

 

[Mommy's Angel]

I wish everyone could have the kind of care I've been able to experience. That totally sucks about how your birth of Jackson went

My bestest gf pushed really hard to have the birth she wanted with her first which allowed her 4 hours with little Jessica (serious birth defect). I know that even 14 years later, that time she had with Jessica was really important and helped make her birth experience with her 2nd even more important. She had to push hard though, at that time the Dr.'s she had sounded more like what you've experienced.

I also have hired a Doula and she totally helps me and DH advicate for the type of birth we want. She can't say anything directly to the medical staff but she sure does help us set ourselves up for less conflict during birth by having our birthplan summary initialled by our dr. She does a lot more than that and I found her so indispensable that she was the first person I called once we went "public" about this pregnancy. Is someone like that an option for you?

I pray that you find the kind of care and support you need for this pregnancy and birth experience!!

Funny, I wanted a Dula with Jackson and plan to have one this time around. I'm just for a whole peaceful experience. Less clinical. It really ticks me off that everything has to be so fast paced and clinical. Don't get me wrong, my child comes first so I'm willing to do it their way if there is reason for it. Birthing just isn't something that can be rushed though. I mean even while ttc I was told I wasn't responding as "quick" as they'd like. Sure enough, God showed it was in the 11th hour that we conceived.

Seems we have similar ideas of birthing though.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

As a physician it makes me so sad to hear about bad experiences people have Rebekah I hope that things are MUCH better for you this time around!!!

Anna yes I intend on hanging out with you ladies if that's OK

So exciting to see all these first trimester ladies!!! We just started TTC'ing for our second. I've been trying to temp but it's hard to think of it now first thing in the morning with an 8 month old to tend to and having to get ready for work. I'm just going to assume that ovulation is still taking place day 16/17 of my cycles and see what happens. I never really had any other signs (changes in CM, cramping, etc...) so other than temping, we'll really be winging it The breast feeding mixed into all this may add another level of complexity

Hope everyone is having a great hump day!!!

Thank you. Me too I didn't even touch the foundation with our bad experience. When we got to the hospital that's one of the best in prenatal care, It was in the middle of the night. When found I was three centimeters dialated, the resident told me that nicu couldn't do anything at 22wks and I had two options, one was to go home or two, they would put my legs up on stirrups and hope the baby went back down in the canal. They refused to give me meds and wouldn't call the Dr. on call at the perinatologists office who actually handled the whole unit as a teaching physician. So after giving us no hope, I thought I'd go home and pray. That morning, the Dr. on call told us to get to the hospital quickly. She then administered meds and by that time, my water broke. Had they even TRIED to administer the meds the night before, it may have touched the bacterial vaginosis and they would have had time to do a cerclage.

There was so much after that, that we ended up meeting with the board of trustees because I wanted to change some policies within the hospital for other birthing mothers. The whole experience was awful and the fear I have of birthing my babies in the only hospital that will take me because I'm high risk just scares the pants off me. I'd rather have a midwife deliver at home if I could. Or move out of state.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Okay, last post. Today I received a call from the OB, they're referring me to the perinatologists office we had with Jackson. The only high risk office in 14 counties. I have a request for the Dr. that kept coming in between her c-sections to make sure I was alright and whom cried with me. I'll allow the nurse angela and I'm going to try a midwife. There's NO WAY in Gods green earth will I let the nurse practitioner who refused to listen about my mucus plug even TOUCH me or in the room. I'm nervous about telling them I don't want her at all in my room, but it's what's going to have to be. I don't trust her and actually, I'm still a little pissed at her because she could have prevented the whole issue with a stupid suppository and a cerclage. It sucks I have to even step foot in the place!

At any rate, I'm going to try to keep my regular ob + the perinatologist. Maybe between both offices, if something were to go awry somebody would catch it.

I hate that I'm so nervous about this pregnancy. I REALLY want to enjoy it. I'm so early that it freaks me the heck out.

 

[pablo797]

missmuffett, Kaiser sounds leaps and bounds ahead of what goes on here! I'm going to write a letter to the head administraitor of my offie and tell them that I think there is a serious lack of early pre-natal care. Even a phone call from a nurse would be something. As for my friend I think your right, wait a while longer and i'll see what happens. You are right, a personal phone conversation may be what's needed.

Went over to a different girlfriends house today and found out she's 6 weeks pregnant. I am very excited for her as they have been trying for #2 for a long time and have had two mc, one of which was twins. So good news!!

MA, I agreee you need to put your foot down for the care and staff that's going to make the best possible experiene for you. I know you're nervous,we all were / are and I don't think it ever fully goes away,right rottpaw? Try and relax and enjoy. It does get easier as time passes. When I first found out I was pregnant I was affaraid to poop because I thought I would push the baby out!!! LOL!! Good luck with appt.

anna

 

[svetayasofiya]

.... I know you're nervous,we all were / are and I don't think it ever fully goes away,right rottpaw? Try and relax and enjoy. It does get easier as time passes. When I first found out I was pregnant I was affaraid to poop because I thought I would push the baby out!!! LOL!! Good luck with appt.

anna

DITTO!!!!

 

[MissMuffet08]

HA HA HA Pablo- I am still afraid to poop sometimes!

MA - Pablo is correct you need to stand your ground and absolutely refuse to have that women anywhere near you. Aside from my perinatologist, I refuse to see any other OB/GYN other than my Dr. The tried to make appointments for me with other Dr's and I flatly told them no and if I had to wait an extra week to see her, then so be it. I think you are doing the right thing. It is your body and baby and no one can force you to take medical care from someone you don't want it from. Just remember to trust in God and everything will work out.

AFM - there are like 6 of us at my job who are pregnant and one of my co-workers who is 2 weeks behind me bought a doppler. Well she brought it in yesterday to let me borrow it. After about 15 minutes searching with that thing on my belly, I FINALLY heard Peachy's heartbeat. It was only for like 20 seconds at a time because everytime I would find her heartbeat she would move after a while. I guess she didnt like the thing pressing down on her LOL.

I hope everyone is having a great day!

Best,
Steph

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Steph, how fun to hear baby's heartbeat! That just made my day.

 

[Vivienne]

Oh Rebekah it is so lovely to have you here!!!
Hey Pablo I'm not bad, no vomiting any more just nausea. How's your MS?
Had an appt with OBGYN at high risk today but he said I didn't really need to be there as he thought I was quite healthy apart from being a bit overweight (so polite of him, I'm a heifer!!!) NT measurement was 1.8mm which is a good indicator.
I went and got a casual job to keep busy, I almost feel like a productive human again!
We are off to visit the in laws for a week on Sunday in our North Island, the city of Rotorua, if anyone's heard of it?? We are having a late Xmas with them!! They live on a lake so it will be lovely to hop in the water and do a bit of boating and fishing like I used too.
Love to all

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Oh Rebekah it is so lovely to have you here!!!
Hey Pablo I'm not bad, no vomiting any more just nausea. How's your MS?
Had an appt with OBGYN at high risk today but he said I didn't really need to be there as he thought I was quite healthy apart from being a bit overweight (so polite of him, I'm a heifer!!!) NT measurement was 1.8mm which is a good indicator.
I went and got a casual job to keep busy, I almost feel like a productive human again!
We are off to visit the in laws for a week on Sunday in our North Island, the city of Rotorua, if anyone's heard of it?? We are having a late Xmas with them!! They live on a lake so it will be lovely to hop in the water and do a bit of boating and fishing like I used too.
Love to all

UNBELIEVABLE! I'm so sick of weight bias'. I AM however, excited that you don't really need high risk. It gives you much more room for a labor and delivery you'd want


While I'm on here, I thought I'd ask a question and share something with you all.

First, I had a dream last night and when I woke up, I was...shall we say, STUNNED. I had a dream that the Dr. was checking me out and counted 1,2,3,4 and then said "wait a minute", then he went to REALLY put pressure on my belly as his head came up. He said to me, I think there's between 5 and 8 babies in there. (((FAINT))) I said in my dream, "come again???" Then I woke up. That was ONE freaky dream

Now onto the question. I'm not sure if anyone of you are dealing with this issue, but my roots are coming in. Does anyone know if we can dye our hair with clairol product?! If nobody knows, I'll just call the number on the box and ask the OB when I go there. I REALLY need to dye my hair. The greys are showing BAD. At this rate, I'll have full head of greys.


I've got bad nausia this time around. I had it with Jackson, but not like this. I've also been taking in probiotics to be sure I don't get a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis. So far, it's working like a charm. I think I'll have it three times a day. See how it all pans out.

Other than that, not a whole lot going on. I have another beta test on Monday. Praying all goes well with numbers!

 

[sunshine71]

Good morning all

Thought I'd tentatively pop in here to say hello - I've posted a few times on the Over 35 TTC #1 Thread, but since I seem to have found myself pregnant... (hoping it'll stick, but a little leery at this point).

MA - I've read many conflicting things about dye. I'm going to have the very same issue myself soon (and I've got multiple colors going on up there!) I've read that there are certain dyes that are ok, but it sounds like most times they tell you not to, just to be on the safe side. I've also read that one of the three trimesters is bad to do it, and one should be okay. But I'll be darned if I can remember which one right now...

I wouldn't be surprised if Clairol doesn't give you a definitive answer due to liability reasons. As a matter of fact, I'd bet they tell you not to. Just as a CYA kind of thing.

Do post what you find out, though - I'd be curious to hear what they have to say. I haven't even broached that subject with my own stylist yet...

 

[sunshine71]

Hey, MA - just found this article about coloring your hair - hope it helps

https://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-safe-to-color-my-hair-during-pregnancy_3273.bc

 

[AustinGurrl]

Good morning everyone! Happy Friday!

Viv - Glad your MS is getting better & that you aren't going to have to go to a high risk doc! Great news! Have a wonderful weekend at the lake, that sounds like heaven right now!

Sunshine - Welcome! I read about your story on the other board & am sending ou tons of good vibes!!!

MA - I too have Horrid Grays right now!!! I have long, straight, nearly black hair and the grays are like lit up neon beams on my temple!!! ARRGGGH!!! I have done some research and seems pretty clear that it is fine to dye your hair in a well-ventilated area AFTER the 1st trimester, just to be on the safe side. I do my own, as I just have all-over color, no highlights or anything. I went to Whole Foods and bought an "organic" type of hair color, but am being chicken about doing it. Pretty sure I am just going to wait til 2nd tri... Til then, I have read that if you just need a temp fix, use eye shadow (for me, dark brown) and brush in at the roots. I will likely try for parties, etc... but not for work... Hope that helps!

AFM - I have hopefully our last appointment at the FS on Monday... Will do a scan... a good heartbeat and they send you on your way to the reg ol' ob/gyn... We are also thinking about telling my parents this weekend... My mom is not too terribly supportive (made jokes when I told her about our FT about "million dollar babies" and the like....) but I am pretty sure that my Dad will be excited... They have 2 grand children from my little brother, who is divorced and had one child with his ex after their divorce (long story, I digress....) I'm much more excited about telling my in-laws! Will be their 1st grandchild!

Hope everyone else is feeling good & thawing out a bit here in the US!

 

[pablo797]

morning girls!

ok first things first, MA, and Sunshine . . . In this month's Fit Pregnancy there is a whole article on "maintenance". And it says . . . To avoid coloring in the first trimester. . . When you do color try henna or chemical free dyes. Highlights avoid getting dye too near the scalp. They suggest Aubrey organics color me natural " hope this helps.

MA, you should know by now how strongly I believe in dreams. While they may not always be an exact representation of something they can often foreshadow things. I not only dreamed my own positive pregnancy i've predicted friends pregnancies. I would say it will be interesting at the first appt when they can see / hear how many hear beats. Granted the dream could also be about anxiety, but you never know . . . Hope appt goes well on monday!

Sunshine,welcoome!! I too have read all about your struggle with this pregnancy on the other thread and am here for you in any way!! I hope the rest of this pregnancy is uneventful and healthy for you. When is your next doc appt?

vivienne, Stop it! You are not a heifer! We ladies come in all shapes and sizes and that is just the way it is. There is so much pressure where I live to be thin and a great athlete. Seems like most women deliver their babies then slither back into their size 6 skinny jeans right after! If you are healthy and baby is healthy then all is good. I'm glad your Ms. has gone back to just nausea. I feel as if mine is abating too. The food cravings and avoidance have gotten much better! Glad the appt with the doc went so well! Have a great late christmas with inlaws, sounds delightful! This is the first day all week where I've woken up and the temp was above 0. It's was 4,but that's better than the -20 it's been.

austingrl, glad you are moving onto the regular OB,seems like a mile stone. Let me know how telling of the parents goes. We still haven't told any of ours. Waiting until 12 scan and still haven't heard the heartbeat. My parents will be SOOO excited, that if there's something wrong it would break their hearts. So cautiously waiting. I hope it goes well and i'm sure your parents will be over-joyed!!

AFM, well I wrote a novel today. Feeling better. DH is sick and so are co-workers so i'm just waiting for the ax to fall. Don't see a way around not getting sick. I'll keep my fingers crossed for the best outcome, but i'm being realistic too. May go out and buy a Netti pot (sp) . Hope everyone has a good friday!! Xxx anna