35+ TTC 1st Graduates!!! Come on Over!

[rottpaw]

Anna, you didn't miss anything big lol! I just pulled my post after submitting it as it was not important and i did not want to distract from Beth's situation right now.

 

[newmarriedgal]

Hi Ladies,

thank you all for your outpouring of love to me. It has helped me very much.

I must say, this is the hardest thing I have had to do to date. I'm sure you ALL know what is actually happening, but it is so hard to accept. I have been cramping/contracting all day today and most of yesterday really badly - hoping the worst of it is now over, but not sure. The cramps/contractions were coming about every 2-3 minutes for about 3 hours and they were intense. Quieter now. I go back next Wed for another ultrasound to check progress. I am so sad but with you all, my two wonderful Charlies, and a few close friends and one sister have helped me see that God just wanted my little angel and s/he is patiently waiting for me with my best friend up in Heaven. Sigh.

Angela - please please please don't feel you, or anyone, has to tiptoe around me - you can put your post back. I am NOT offended by any light-hearted posts because I know none of you took my situation lightly. But life does go on and I will heal. So trust me, feel free to post anything, I promise to read it all with a big cocktail and smile.

On top of this, poor poppy is so sick with his cold. When I finally dragged myself off the bathroom floor yesterday, I took poor poppy's temperature and it was 102.7! My poor little guy. How can one kid make so much snot is beyond me. Fever is mostly gone today and doing better but still miserable. Didn't want to eat and cried so much when I tried to feed him (close the when we last fed but I wanted to make sure he was drinking fluids) he threw up ALL over me and him. So here we are both crying, I'm cramping too, and both miserable. We managed to clean up, laugh a little, and he went for a nap. Hopefully he'll eat when he gets up, otherwise, it's another call into the dr.

As much as I hate poppy being sick, I must say, it has taken my mind off of things for many stretches. Also helps that he will come over to me with kisses all day too.

Love to you all, thank you all for being here for me.

Steph - until I am able to recover and try again, I will always equate myself with your due date, so please feel free to write how you are feeling and I will (a little sadly, but forgive me for that) live vicariously through you and wish you tons of love and hugs during your coming months.

 

[rottpaw]

Beth that is very sweet of you; I will repost it later. No big deal at all. I'm just worried about YOU, bless your heart! You have been through a huge lot in such a short time - pregnancy, your sister's loss, Poppy's birthday, then this... It must feel like you are on a horrific roller coaster (though with some great moments like the pregnancy and sweet Poppy's birthday). I am just so sorry for the loss and I hope your dr is taking good care of you. Are they letting you know what to expect, etc?

I am just sending you a huge hug and all our love!!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hi Beth,

Glad you came by to let us know how your doing. I'm still so very sorry your going through so much. It's not an easy process physically or emotionally but you will get through it. Some days are better than others. My prayer is for peace and great strength through the grieving process and healing for your mind, body, heart, soul and spirit.

 

[pablo797]

Well it's 6:15 am and it says there are two of us currently on line, so that means someone else is up at the crack of dawn too. Jo had another bad night, might take her to doc on Monday to see if ear infection is cleared up.

Happy Sunday!!
Anna

 

[newmarriedgal]

Hi ladies
I thought I was done but last night was the most horrific night of my life. I had to call the ob on call as we were afraid but he kindly said it sounded like last night was the total miscarriage. My poor baby is gone.

Resting today, we all have that cold too. Kick me while I'm down, why don't you. Ugh.

 

[rottpaw]

Oh Beth, I am so very sorry. Hugs and prayers today. Rest, rest, rest!

 

[newmarriedgal]

Oh my god, I'm being punished for something. Not only continued cramping but not as bad, poppy fell down the stairs! Like Alllllll the stairs. What the hell have I done to deserve this crapstorm??? He is fine, called the dr right away and he was so kind: blood? NO. did he cry longer than 5 minutes? NO. Did he vomit? NO. Are his pupils working properly and such? YES. Is he favoring any bones? NO. Is he back to normal play? YES and he could hear him laughing and screeching in the background. I told him the stairs are very padded/ deep pile carpet and he said well he sounds perfectly fine, we check pupils and vomiting so he isn't showing any ill-effects. He was so kind and said stair falling is like a bunch of small falls not as damaging as a blunt straight fall. I'm still going to get him checked tomorrow as he also has so much congestion too. Hubby is a bear because he was watching him at the time. He was beside himself almost in tears and broke down and said he couldn't handle this anymore. So now I'm dealing with that but I know it is misplaced. But seriously not what I needed to hear. If we all make it through the rest of the night unscathed it will be a miracle.

 

[rottpaw]

Oh honey I am sooooooo sorry!!!!!!! I cannot believe all you are dealing with right now. Crazy crazy! So glad poor poppy is fine - I live in mortal fear of our stairs. So scary!

Hugs, hugs!!

 

[newmarriedgal]

In the emergency room, been here for 3 hours so far and they want to keep me for another 4 hours at least. The stuff started again at 11pm and there was just so much blood- too much i was getting light headed and the pain is so horrifically bad I couldn't do it anymore. Called my sis who lives 3 mins from me to stay at my house with a sleeping poppy while Charlie and I went to the ER.

It is worse than last night and I didn't think that was possible. Please pray for us to get this completely over and done.

 

[pablo797]

Beth, you are in all my prayers and I will check back regularly. Soooooo sorry you are getting the shit storm (sorry for cussing but sometimes it's merited). So glad poppy seems fine, but so sorry for this horrible experience. Stairs are so scary!! At least yours were padded!! Ours are tile and hArd wood!! Hope DH comes around, I'm sure it's his way of dealing with everything, but it is badly timed when you need all his support.

I am sending you as many hugs as humanly possible

 

[rottpaw]

In the emergency room, been here for 3 hours so far and they want to keep me for another 4 hours at least. The stuff started again at 11pm and there was just so much blood- too much i was getting light headed and the pain is so horrifically bad I couldn't do it anymore. Called my sis who lives 3 mins from me to stay at my house with a sleeping poppy while Charlie and I went to the ER.

It is worse than last night and I didn't think that was possible. Please pray for us to get this completely over and done.

Beth I am so so sorry. I cannot imagine and I just hate what you are going through. Sending all our hugs and prayers!!

 

[MissMuffet08]

Beth honey so sorry to hear all that has been happening with Poppy and now you in the ER. You will continue to be in my prayers. Please let me know if you need to talk.

Love and hugs,
Steph

 

[newmarriedgal]

Thanks ladies, your support is beyond measure to me.

I'm sorry to be so selfish and bring down the whole board and I promise to stop but I had to tell of the latest crap to hit the fan. I'm out of my mind here.

I was in the er for over 7 hours. Finally got some pain meds. I was screaming in pain at that point and crying my eyes out it was so bad. They had to keep giving me the meds as there were some bad ones that snuck through. Finally told Charlie to go home and was awake the entire night. Finally had an ultrasound and the tech said that I passed the fetus but the sack was still there. I got back to my room and the dr (not my usual) came in and said I didn't pass ANYTHING yet so he wanted to do the d&c right then. Fresh tears. If I didn't pass anything, then what the hell was I passing the past two horrible nights. He couldn't answer and pushed for the procedure again. I said no because Charlie wasn't there and I wasn't going through it without him. The not-so-nice dr said fine, take the tablets and you will contract things out. Seriously crying, I said it wasn't in me to have more pain right now and he said fine go home and you will have it again anyways. He gave me a pain prescription and I finally went home and called my ob. She was off today but they brought me in for them to do the ultrasound and discuss things. Unlike the hospital, they still saw and showed me the fetal pole. Fetus is still in there. No heartbeat and my hcg levels are way down. She then checked my cervix in the ultrasound and it was closed so she said nothing had passed. going to see my ob in the morning and schedule the damn d&c as if I was in this much agony and I didn't pass anything, how bad is this going to be? I can't handle that again.
My luck it will the same thing will happen again tonight or it will really happen. Please God no.

Sorry for all of this. Thanks for being here. This is so horrifying. I just can't believe the actual miscarriage hasn't happened yet.

 

[rottpaw]

Beth oh my gosh! I cannot believe how insensitive the hospital is and that dr should be fired for being such an unfeeling a$$!!! I am SO sorry. I agree, I would not want to wait around for the process to run any farther naturally. I am just SO sorry!!

And you do NOT need to apologize for posting! We are here for you honey. I just wish we could be THERE for you!

 

[MissMuffet08]

Oh Beth honey. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain and going through so much. Please don't think you are bringing the board down. We are here for you and want you to share what is happening with you! I pray that tonight you are able to get some rest. When you go in tomorrow for the D&C ask if they will put you under so you don't have to be awake for the procedure. After it is done you will have some mild cramping, but nothing like you are experiencing now. Normal period like cramps. At least with the D&C you know that it is finished and you can start to heal. Sweetie I am so sorry you are going through this. Again, continue to update and let us know how you are doing otherwise we will all be worried sick!

Love you,
steph

 

[pablo797]

Hi girls, Beth I will echo what Steph and Angela have said, this horrible experience is so not fair. All that pain, and what a complete A-hole (look I didn't cuss!) doctor. How was last night? More pain? Did you sleep at all? How are Charlie and Poppy holding up?

As for bringing down the board, pish posh! By this point we have all been through so much with each other I feel as if nothing is off limits. We are here for the good and the bad, thick and thin. We Love you so much and I'm sure each of us wishes she were there in person to hold your hand and give you hugs and a shoulder to cry on.

Lots and lots of hugs and love,
Anna

 

[rottpaw]

Just checking for any updates from Beth...

We are ok here, just a super crazy weekend and now hubby down with a cold I'm hoping we don't all get. yuck.

Hugs and love!

 

[pablo797]

Me too, checking in...

Angela, sorry DH is down with a cold! Fingers crossed the rest of the family stays healthy, espically little Reece.

AFM, nothing new to report, my attempt to eliminate wheat this week has already faltered in day two, pizza may be my weakness.

Love to all, Beth extra hugs to you, thinking of you tonight!!

Anna

 

[newmarriedgal]

Hi all, thx for checking on me. I had another rough night but nothing passed again. Sigh. Went to the ob again and she is so great. She did an ultrasound again and said that things were definitely on the move- the sac was flattening out and making its way down. She was able to adjust her schedule and we are doing the d&c in the morning @ 10:30. Of course, she said there is a chance i could go tonight and i have been cramping all day again. I'm just worn out, scared, and sad.

My love to you all, thank you for being here.

Oh by the way, poppy is just fine from the fall but has an ear and sinus infection. Never ends. Such a crappy week.