35+ TTC 1st Graduates!!! Come on Over!

[pablo797]

hey all!!

thanks for the sushi upport! Glad to know i'm not the only one.

ma, sorry about the parent thing. I'm somewhere between you and Austin. My parents are older and in their seventies too. But they want to be really involved in the babies life and i'm just not sure how they're going to do it. They want to be day care two days a week, but an infant or worse yet a toddler at their age?? My mother is a piece of work, we don't have a good relationship, I try but we clash. Growing up she always made comments about my weight or other people's weight,she's very judgemental! ( something I don't want taught to my baby) It's always been a source of my own insecurities about weight.. Then on sunday she made a snide comment at breakfast about the amount of syrup I was putting on my waffel. I snaped!!! Just this once, while i'm pregnant could she give me a break??!! Ahhhh so frustrating. And that's nothing compared to what you're going through! I do NOT think you're a bad person, in fact somewhere nearer to a saint. And let people help you for once. I remember all those cookies you made for everyone at christmas time. It's time for the karma to come back around.

Sunshine, I like the minimalist thing too, which is why the dresserpalloza in our house is bugging me so much! Glad yo had a good moto ride!! Hope scan goes well today!

austin, I am happy you have been ordered to take it easy. I have seen the belly support band and if my back starts hurting this summer being on my feet all day i'll look into it. Awesome about working from home. I Really wish that were an option for me. As it is, going to try and work up until mid to late augest. So far I feel pretty good but summer tourist season hasn't hit yet. Love the pink and brown. Some pink seems inevitable. I can just picture it, so cute. Did I just get you and sunshine moixed up??

Codegirl, hope you are well!!

Junebug, we have the same colors!! I was looking at rugs this weekend. We have hardwood floors and want something soft and snuggly for the floor. Thanks for the furniture tip. I think it's a good idea and maybe something I can talk DH into. If we could sell both i'd be estatic!! I'l run it by him this evening.

Svet, Skye, Vivienne, Rottpaw and anyone I missed, hi!

AFM, not much to tell. Had a good weekend. Got to go to yoga (always a treat). Also went for long dog walk. Feeling good with lots of kicking. Had a bowl of ice cream last night and the suggar sent the girl all over the place. Little wiggle worm. And note to self to make sure no extra suagr for this one, seems to amph her up.

have a happy monday all!! Anna

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hi ladies,

Having a bit of an emotional day AGAIN! Just when I thought we were getting to the top of ONE hill there becomes two more.

We saw the cardiologist who did a fetal echocardiogram on Amelia. He may or may not have seen a defect in her heart. She wasn't cooperating position-wise and so it IS possible that what they saw was a shadow from her rib. The good news is that if she does have this, it is minimal and will either fix itself or surgery will fix it later on at a year old. The bad news is that this type of heart defect is associated with Down Syndrome. He asked if Peri Center mentioned her sonograms because it's almost always shown with larger hands and feet. All her sono's came back EXCELLENT and normal.

So here I am in limbo yet again. He wants to see us in 8 weeks when she's bigger to tell whether what he saw was right or wrong.

In the meantime, It's 8 weeks of tears wondering. We opted OUT of the genetic testing because we want our children no matter what. I just can't help but feel this is just another issue that's my fault.

Both Doug and I have worked with Downs adults, so we know what we're getting into IF it happens, and I'm grateful we're both equipped. Him as an RN and I as a Stay at home mommy that she would NEVER be institutionalized but hopefully given as normal a life possible to reach for the sky.

Anyways, enough of this. I need to stay positive and hopeful that they are WRONG. I love this little girl SO MUCH!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

MA: so sorry, yet another thing Hopefully it's just the shadow of the rib! Most congenital heart defects are isolated, but in all, yes there is an increased risk for trisomies, including Downs... Did he tell you the name? I can give you the geneticist's perspective if so! At 8 weeks, we had a 1/10 risk of Trisomy 18, which is essentially lethal before birth, so I know what you're going through! Everything turned out fine for me, fingers crossed for you!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

MA: so sorry, yet another thing Hopefully it's just the shadow of the rib! Most congenital heart defects are isolated, but in all, yes there is an increased risk for trisomies, including Downs... Did he tell you the name? I can give you the geneticist's perspective if so! At 8 weeks, we had a 1/10 risk of Trisomy 18, which is essentially lethal before birth, so I know what you're going through! Everything turned out fine for me, fingers crossed for you!

Yes. Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). Thing is, while I see "some" cases of Trisomy, I see others where the babies are completely fine. I don't know what to think of all this. Wish he hadn't made the assumption until he found out for sure in 8 weeks. It's driving me batty!

He kept mentioning my age (37) like I'm old and ready to die already. So frustrating!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

VSDs are THE most common type of congenital heart defects! I'd be more worried if it was one of the rarer ones more commonly seen in Downs (atrioventricular septal defect - always needs surgery in the first few months of life). Most VSDs resolve on their own... I would be very reassuring if I were your geneticist Your a priori risk (prior to any blood tests or nuchal translucency) based on your age for Downs is 1/227 and for all trisomies, 1/127. I always tell my patients: reverse those numbers, so there is 126/127 chance that your baby WON'T have a chromosomal problem. So odds are definitely on your side, based on your age. If a congenital heart defect IS confirmed, this would increase the risk, but as I said, most VSDs are isolated in otherwise healthy babies! I think you're going to be fine, based on my experience

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Just read up on my risk for all chromosomal problems based on age 38 (how old I will be when next baby comes, fingers crossed) and mine is 1/102. Still good odds!!!

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Just read up on my risk for all chromosomal problems based on age 38 (how old I will be when next baby comes, fingers crossed) and mine is 1/102. Still good odds!!!

Thank you SO much I had Doug look up information on VSD and basically he said type II diabetes (which I do have) can lead to this. Which is why we had this testing done. To know that she possibly won't have Downs is a huge relief to me, though we'd keep her anyways even if she DOES have it. Doesn't matter to us....though what does matter is that she doesn't have medical issues that will be of harm to her. I couldn't bare the thought of her suffering.

I appreciate that you shared this information with me. I wish he hadn't jumped to conclusion or at least shared the possibilities of having VSD without Downs. I have been hearing stories of women who are 30 or older who have gone through these same concerns as you have as well. Wish they wouldn't jump the gun due to age so much. I'm the type of person that doesn't like the "what if's" I like to know concrete information. does she have it or not. If not, don't determine until it's a fact. My husband? He can handle the 8 weeks without getting all freaked out. Me? My mind works overtime at night with anxiety....I know it shouldn't. ESPECIALLY since a person of faith knows worry is sin and doubt against Gods Ability to handle all things, His strength and power. Sadly it's a coping mechanism I learned very young dealing with the parental issues. I never really re-learned...I'm hoping I can change that before Amelia comprehends it. I want her to be a confident young woman! I don't want her picking up anxiety or fear. It's not a healthy way to live!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Yep he's right, type I or type II DM can lead to VSDs as well, especially if control was not optimal by the time the heart forms (5-6 weeks of pregnancy so VERY early on). I think you have the right approach, I think it's great that you KNOW you would keep the pregnancy regardless, that helps. For others who are undecided, it is even more of a struggle, so you're already ahead there ;-) I KNOW it's impossible not to worry, you're a mommy, completely normal Just keep reminding yourself that there are very good odds this is isolated!!! I hate the "what ifs" too, I hear you!!! I hate that he freaked you out!!! I wish they would have explained that the differential diagnosis DOES include normal healthy babies, this is a very important component of our medical approach here!!! Reassurance first and foremost, then "one step at a time" investigations/discussions...

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Yep he's right, type I or type II DM can lead to VSDs as well, especially if control was not optimal by the time the heart forms (5-6 weeks of pregnancy so VERY early on). I think you have the right approach, I think it's great that you KNOW you would keep the pregnancy regardless, that helps. For others who are undecided, it is even more of a struggle, so you're already ahead there ;-) I KNOW it's impossible not to worry, you're a mommy, completely normal Just keep reminding yourself that there are very good odds this is isolated!!! I hate the "what ifs" too, I hear you!!! I hate that he freaked you out!!! I wish they would have explained that the differential diagnosis DOES include normal healthy babies, this is a very important component of our medical approach here!!! Reassurance first and foremost, then "one step at a time" investigations/discussions...

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine from Bible study (who called to let me know she's bringing a meal tomorrow) just after reading your responses. She works at an adoption agency and they do alot of sonograms in the course of the birthmothers pregnancies. She too said the same information as you did about the likelyhood of everything this Dr. said. While there is a slight chance, my age is not much of a factor at all. She doesn't believe it at all and like you said this particular heart defect is SO common!

Dumb Dr.! I've decided to let this go unless he can prove otherwise. Even then, we know we're keeping her and because Doug and I have worked with Downs adults, we know we're both equipped to deal with anything that comes our way. The guy is a total idiot though!

Thanks again for sharing your information. It's been helpful. Now I'm more focused than anything on this bedrest and getting her to term. To heck with the crazy assumptions these Dr.'s keep throwing out!

 

[skye2010]

Junebug it was very releiving to read your informative posts about downs syndrome. Thank you.

Rebekah you have been so lucky to have Amelia but all these unlucky stresses are almost keeping you away from enjoying it. The dr's just throw possibilities without thinking how we could take it. Grrrrrr!!!! Honestly sometimes they should know how to keep the info to themselves and direct us to more investigation without getting us so worried.

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Yay Rebekah, good approach and outlook!!! I hope you can really start enjoying this pregnancy and anticipating Amelia's arrival without too much worry

Skye, this is what I do for work ;-) Although that being said, I was an EXTREMELY anxious pregnant woman because I just know too much of how things can go wrong. Makes me so ever more grateful for the healthy baby girl we have! She is adorable all right, can't wait to pick up the new CD of professional photos we had done 2 weeks ago. Will post some new ones when they come!

Austin, TAKE IT EASY woman! So glad your boss was so amenable to letting you work from home, that is sooooo nice!!! 12 weeks off once babies come??? You should be entitled to 12 weeks per baby!!! Craziness...

Anna, your mom needs to be slapped. Seriously? Giving you a hard time about the amount of syrup on a waffle? Can't believe she's been at you all your life about your weight... That is really sad. I had a friend who's mom is and has been like this too, and my friend is so scarred she only gained 24 lbs during pregnancy (with her mom calling her fat the whole time) and baby was born underweight and needed prolonged hospitalization to ensure he got big enough. I was so mad at her mom!!!!

AFM, I *think* Zoë has started calling me mama! She looks over to me and says "mamamamama" and lifts up her arms to be picked up! Haven't seen her do it with DH or in other circumstances so maybe??

OK, back to work I go. Will check in later!!! Hugs to all!

 

[rottpaw]

Hey ladies!

Bek, yes, PLEASE try to relax and dont' let the doctors scare you any more. I know it is so hard not to worry (and I won't lie - you don't stop worrying when they are born safely, either - just new things to worry about ) but the stress of worry is not good for you and can become a self-fulfilling thing. Trust in God and lean on Him. Take it one day at a time. That approach is both good (for you and baby) and bad (in that it makes it feel like forever, I know because I've been there LOL!) but it's best to try not to overanalyze. I tell you, I worried over every.single.ache, pain or weird "thing" that happened while I was pregnant, and in the end, I had a perfectly normal pregnancy in every way and Ethan was exactly average weight and apgars 8 and 9. All that worry and for nothing!!! I am eternally thankful that he is healthy and normal, because now I know exactly how many bizarre things our bodies can do and feel and it still be "fine." I hope that makes sense. And also don't let the sonograms and things like that freak you out. They told us (right up to the very end) that Ethan was goign to be huge - at 37 weeks they said he was already over 9 pounds! - and he was born 7.5. So there you go - even the high-tech, perinatologist ultrasound is a bit of an art and an imperfect science ;-)

Anyway, CJ - I can't remember when you said you guys will be trying again, but we'll probably be in the TTC hunt again by year's end, if not sooner!! My OB does not want me to try before at least 9 months (not sure if she meant 9 from my 6 wk checkup, or 9 from EThan's birth) but my FS told us this time last year that we'd better have "Irish twins" if we wanted two LOL! My AMH is really low... so I am planning to call the FS this week and get her take on when she thinks it is safe to start trying, with the understanding that it might take a while to get pregnant again, or... it might not, LOL! The whole idea of having another pregnancy so soon scares me (just because of my age and blood pressure issues and complete lack of rest this last three months LOL!) BUT, several girls on my "March Mummies" thread had very quick repeat pregnancies, like at 5 months and I think one was only 3 months apart! I don't want to start that soon, but maybe by fall. I hate feeling like we are on a "clock" and I keep trying to remind myself that God can do anything and He is in control of the timing and egg quality, etc. Our FS did not give us very good news at last year's workup, but then God gave us Ethan. So it's definitely possible! And I know if I leave the timing up to Him, He will do what's best and give me the strength for it. I always wanted my kids to be close in age anyway, so I guess this is my chance LOL!

Austin, I have not read very far back but hope all is still well with you and your little ones!! I am still SO thrilled for you at TRIPLETS! WOW!

Anna, glad you are feeling good these days and I can't believe you are heading into the home stretch lady! You are in late 2nd tri, right? Enjoy it!! 3rd tri hits like a freight train around, oh, 7.5 months. When you really start to see your mobility impacted and the weight really catches up with you it can make you start looking ahead and counting days and weeks (and minutes LOL!) again, but you're almost to third tri!! How exciting!!

Skye love, I am still praying for you and hoping for the very best!! Please keep us updated and know we are all here for you!

AFM, we're doing well. Just found out one of my best friends is 14 weeks (and another good friend is about that same point) - my bestie called to say she needs her maternity clothes back So happy for both of them! And in a way it's very fun to get the maternity clothes out of the closet and feel like I'm heading back to my own clothes, if even briefly! Ethan is doing great, just need to get a little more food into the little guy at each feeding so he will start picking up weight again. He's been stalled at 12+3 for a week or so now and seems to stall out like that any time we get too close to the calorie "minimum" per day. We are only holding back on feedings per the dr's instructions that he "cant hold more than 4 oz every 3-4 hours", but so many moms have told me that is ridiculous and I am starting to agree. He's been able to drink 4 oz at a time for two months now!! Surely he should be able to take 6 or so by now? And that's what he needs based on 6 feeds per day (unelss we want to go back to over night feeds, which even he does not want LOL as he sleeps through great now!)

Steph, hope all is well with you and Katelyn! Update us when you can; I know it is super hectic at first! Let us know if you have any questions; I had zillions and hte boards helped tremendously!

Okay girls, off to feed the little bear!!

Happy day to all!

 

[rottpaw]

PS and this deserves a separate post - Anna - if ANYONE gives you a hard time about food, either smack them or ignore them, whichever suits your personality. I promise, you can get away with the smacking while pregnant and they deserve it!!!! Good grief! Pregnancy waas the one time in my life that I truly ate whatever I felt like and LOVED every single bite!! Even my husband agreed I should (and he's normally like your mom with the "commentary" on what I'm eating). But ohmygosh, you SO should not have to listen to comments like that. Enjoy whatever you eat and eat as much as you feel like! your body will tell you when to stop.

HUGS!

 

[pablo797]

hay all!!

MA, yet another thing to worry about. But thanks to Junebug's awesome information and advice it sounds like you've got a great outlook! Stupid dr!! What is it that they are so pre-occupied with age? We are all smart educated women, we've read the statics, the odds and know what we're in for. The idea we need to be constantly reminded! Even my peri (who I adore) before my amnio was so negative about possible results and my age. I was like let's just cross that bridge when we get to it, don't freak me out before we even know the results! I hope Amelia's issue either is nothing at all or it resolves it's self. Our baby looks to have larger than normal valve openings in her kidneys and my doc was VERY positive, explaining that different parts of babies grow at different rates in the womb. Therefore while part of an organ might be developed, another part may take time to catch up. My thougts are with you.

Junebug, you are awesome!!! Such a great source of strength and advice. Just wanted to say how thankful I am that you are on this thread!!

Austin, I just found out a friend of a friend is having triplets via IUI. She lives in Huston. Something in the water in Texas?? Congrads on working from home. That's just awesome.

Skye, how are you doing? How are you feeling?

AFM, this is going to sound weird, but I feel smaller this week than last week. Last week I felt like my belly was Huge! This week I efel like it's smaller. Have I just gotten used to the size or has it shrunken? Has anyone had this happen? Should I be worried? I have a doc appt next week. Just currious. Junebug as far as my mother goes . . . A friend suggested counseling. One of my biggest fears is that my daughter and I will end up with the same relationship as I have with my mother and that would suck! Are we pre destined to make the same mistakes as our parents? Man I hope not. Anyway, ending on a positive note, it's not snowing! Xoxo anna

 

[pablo797]

Rottpaw,

we posted at the same time. So glad the little guy is doing so well, and I agree, I think he could eat more. Try it, he'll let you know when he's full. Thanks for the support re: food. It's something i've dealt with all my life, but I guess i'm more sensitive now pregnant. I feel like evrytime I see my mother I feel like she's judging me, have I blown up or am I keeping things under control. I truly think she would be ashamed of me if I packed on the pounds. Anyway, baggage, I probably should see a councelor. As far as slapping people, I threw a non alcoholic beer in someones face a few weeks ago, so slapping is definitely not out of the question. Normally it would be totally against my personality, but these preggy hormones are something else. I've discoverd i'm a mean pregnantt woman. How sad. Thanks and hugs! Anna

 

[codegirl]

Rottpaw,

we posted at the same time. So glad the little guy is doing so well, and I agree, I think he could eat more. Try it, he'll let you know when he's full. Thanks for the support re: food. It's something i've dealt with all my life, but I guess i'm more sensitive now pregnant. I feel like evrytime I see my mother I feel like she's judging me, have I blown up or am I keeping things under control. I truly think she would be ashamed of me if I packed on the pounds. Anyway, baggage, I probably should see a councelor. As far as slapping people, I threw a non alcoholic beer in someones face a few weeks ago, so slapping is definitely not out of the question. Normally it would be totally against my personality, but these preggy hormones are something else. I've discoverd i'm a mean pregnantt woman. How sad. Thanks and hugs! Anna

My first pregnancy symptom was anger. I was flipping OUT on poor DH. I did find a program in my city that was for maternal mental health and they were a such a God send.

it does get better, and once Eric was born I stabilized within a couple weeks.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hi Ladies!

Spent time with my Doula and met the other backup Doula today. Had a great conversation with them and after getting yesterday off my chest, I'm totally back in sanity land!

As I said, I've decided I'm going to move forward, work on getting Amelia to term and deal with the rest IF it happens.

In the meantime, today we were so blessed. Someone from church brought us meals for the week and some beautiful flowers. Another person from church nominated us for Free housecleaning service and we have our first housecleaning next week. It will take a whole lot of stress off of Doug.

I'm beginning to see Gods total hand in all of this as His plan unravels. Here I am on bedrest and all these people are helping to keep Amelia safe. Just very grateful right now.

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Not snowing Anna! There is just something so wrong with snow in May!!!

I was a mean pregnant lady too. Poor DH... Because of disability insurance issues I couldn't seek any help, otherwise they would have placed another 5 years exclusion on psychiatric illness. I WISH I could have had help. So glad Terri to hear things have stabilized!

ANGELA! We may be TTC'ing at the same time! We're aiming to get pregnant in September or October!!! That would be awesome to have a bump buddy from this thread! I'm soooo broody but still not ovulating

MA, awesome on all the help!

 

[rottpaw]

CJ it would definitely be awesome to have you as a ttc/bump buddy! I will let you know what our fs says on timing but suspect we will at least be NTNP by fall!

Do you think the anovulation could be because of the breastfeeding? I quit bf three weeks ago and just today got my first af (with mixed feelings lol!). Glad af is still in working order so to speak but then never have liked periods.

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Yep, definitely due to breastfeeding. I'm not in a huge rush to TTC, so I'm not going to stop just to get AF back... Zoë is self-weaning as we speak, that seems gentler than to force her to quit. My cycles are normally 30 days and very predictable! Are you using BC?