46 BFPS and Counting -TTC Lucky Support Thread - newbies welcome!

[squirrel.]

So spanner in the works, if you've already had a child you don't get any referral for fertility specialists. I knew you didn't get IVF, but I didn't know there is no service at all.

So looks like private is the only option... Kind of what I wanted to happen as it'll happen sooner, but the cost will be a factor. Need to speak to my husband and discuss what we do.

 

[TexasRider]

Ugh that does suck! But at least you can get an appointment faster. If you are having to pay out of pocket I would maybe see if they could go to Ivf first since it's better odds?

 

[squirrel.]

Texas that's my thinking too... Now just to convince my husband (i.e cost).

Looking at his semen analysis, he actually has very good sperm!! And my progesterone levels for day 21 were 65, which seems quite good as well. On paper we look very fertile! So frustrating that we're not able to make a baby right now.

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Squirrel, I am London/Kent and I was referred. I was put on clomid and awaiting surgery for ovarian drilling again.
Why did they say you didn't qualify? It must be your PCT perhaps? xx

 

[campn]

Squirrel- Wow! I've heard of that too with the NHS, I'm sorry hun you deserve another baby but I understand their logic behind it. Hopefully it'll happen naturally for you this coming cycle and you won't need any help. Fingers crossed!

Edit: I wanted to say maybe you should try IUI first as it's cheaper and you said it you both are so fertile obviously so your chances are probably better than statistics give!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Perhaps I was referred as I have PCOS and DH suffers from male factor infertility too. It's the only thing I can think of. Obviously IUI and IVF wouldn't be offered but simple
Procedures and medications are. Xx

 

[Hiker1]

Squirrel, from someone who is currently just in the 2nd cycle of assisted fertility, I'm thinking it's a bit drastic to want to jump immediately to IVF when there are so many other options prior to doing so. I know you don't want to waste money though, but considering it doesn't sound like you or your hubby have any medical reasons for things not happening, so maybe all you need is a little boost with some oral meds and an IUI? Definitely good first step is to get the HSG to see if there is anything going on structurally.

I have Diminished Ovarian Reserve so there is definitely a medical reason for us having not conceived yet. We did one round with oral meds and IUI, and this month has been injectables + IUI (yesterday!). There is definitely a heirarchy of procedures from least to most invasive. I feel most comfortable starting with the least then progressing to most (being IVF), but that's just me. We all want a baby yesterday, but even once you get the referrals and the meds, there's still no guarantee...so like it or not, there may be a bit more waiting and patience necessary (as much as we don't want to wait or be patient any longer!) Good luck to you!

 

[TexasRider]

So if you go private you pay for it and if you go non private then it's all paid for and you don't pay for anything? Or am I understanding it wrong?

 

[squirrel.]

Teeny Weeny: maybe it's that? I think it's probably done by trust though. We're in Brixton (Lambeth) and we are such an overpopulated borough, maybe that's why? Who knows. It is a bit surprising that they don't offer minor services and while I get it, people with kids already are not a priority for the NHS, it still stings a bit.

Also the doctor said all the cliches that she really should know not to say:
Be grateful for the kids you have.
Relax and it'll happen
A year isn't that long

I was shaking my head by the end. How is suggesting someone be grateful for the children they do have helpful in any way to someone who is evidently a bit stressed out with all this? Besides, all this TTC craziness has made me so grateful for the kids I have (not that I wasnt already mind you) and how mean of her to suggest that I wasn't just because I want a third child. Three isn't perceived as greedy is it? The way she was talking suggested she thought it was.

 

[squirrel.]

So if you go private you pay for it and if you go non private then it's all paid for and you don't pay for anything? Or am I understanding it wrong?

Yes that's it. We essentially "pay" for the NHS through our taxes so everything you receive on the NHS appears to be "free". Private health care is either pad for by your company or personally.

 

[squirrel.]

Squirrel, from someone who is currently just in the 2nd cycle of assisted fertility, I'm thinking it's a bit drastic to want to jump immediately to IVF when there are so many other options prior to doing so. I know you don't want to waste money though, but considering it doesn't sound like you or your hubby have any medical reasons for things not happening, so maybe all you need is a little boost with some oral meds and an IUI? Definitely good first step is to get the HSG to see if there is anything going on structurally.

I have Diminished Ovarian Reserve so there is definitely a medical reason for us having not conceived yet. We did one round with oral meds and IUI, and this month has been injectables + IUI (yesterday!). There is definitely a heirarchy of procedures from least to most invasive. I feel most comfortable starting with the least then progressing to most (being IVF), but that's just me. We all want a baby yesterday, but even once you get the referrals and the meds, there's still no guarantee...so like it or not, there may be a bit more waiting and patience necessary (as much as we don't want to wait or be patient any longer!) Good luck to you!

Thanks for your advice. I need to stay grounded. I'm feeling desperate as it comes up to a year trying on March. And so frustrated as well that the other two came so quickly and this time it's been such an unexpectedly long wait with no reason to show for it.

I was just going by what the fertility clinic websites suggested - that for unexplained infertility to try IVF rather than IUI due to the much better success rates. I am booking an initial consultation tomorrow and will discuss all options then. Whatever they suggest as the best course of action we'll follow.

Good luck for this cycle Hiker! I really hope this is your BFP. Happy TWW.

 

[Hiker1]

Teeny Weeny: maybe it's that? I think it's probably done by trust though. We're in Brixton (Lambeth) and we are such an overpopulated borough, maybe that's why? Who knows. It is a bit surprising that they don't offer minor services and while I get it, people with kids already are not a priority for the NHS, it still stings a bit.

Also the doctor said all the cliches that she really should know not to say:
Be grateful for the kids you have.
Relax and it'll happen
A year isn't that long

I was shaking my head by the end. How is suggesting someone be grateful for the children they do have helpful in any way to someone who is evidently a bit stressed out with all this? Besides, all this TTC craziness has made me so grateful for the kids I have (not that I wasnt already mind you) and how mean of her to suggest that I wasn't just because I want a third child. Three isn't perceived as greedy is it? The way she was talking suggested she thought it was.

So very insensitive. My friend who has 2 children, 11 and 10, always wanted a third. She had such trouble conceiving again, and was also told "be grateful for what you have." She said the same - she IS grateful for her 2, but that doesn't take away the desire to have another. And just because you already have kids doesn't mean you don't have the right to have more or that it is any less important.

She just found out at 42, that she is pregnant with #3. Took a while, but she finally is completing the family she dreamed of. I hope the same for you. Try to ignore the doctor and hopefully you'll find one that isn't so judgmental!

 

[Hiker1]

Squirrel, from someone who is currently just in the 2nd cycle of assisted fertility, I'm thinking it's a bit drastic to want to jump immediately to IVF when there are so many other options prior to doing so. I know you don't want to waste money though, but considering it doesn't sound like you or your hubby have any medical reasons for things not happening, so maybe all you need is a little boost with some oral meds and an IUI? Definitely good first step is to get the HSG to see if there is anything going on structurally.

I have Diminished Ovarian Reserve so there is definitely a medical reason for us having not conceived yet. We did one round with oral meds and IUI, and this month has been injectables + IUI (yesterday!). There is definitely a heirarchy of procedures from least to most invasive. I feel most comfortable starting with the least then progressing to most (being IVF), but that's just me. We all want a baby yesterday, but even once you get the referrals and the meds, there's still no guarantee...so like it or not, there may be a bit more waiting and patience necessary (as much as we don't want to wait or be patient any longer!) Good luck to you!

Thanks for your advice. I need to stay grounded. I'm feeling desperate as it comes up to a year trying on March. And so frustrated as well that the other two came so quickly and this time it's been such an unexpectedly long wait with no reason to show for it.

I was just going by what the fertility clinic websites suggested - that for unexplained infertility to try IVF rather than IUI due to the much better success rates. I am booking an initial consultation tomorrow and will discuss all options then. Whatever they suggest as the best course of action we'll follow.

Good luck for this cycle Hiker! I really hope this is your BFP. Happy TWW.

Thank you! I am very hopeful! We had 6 follicles, 1 which was of size, another 3 were super close, and 2 were a bit smaller, so I'm hoping one will take (and hopefully not all!!) One or 2 more BD for good measure, then I'm officially in the TWW. Trying to stay positive this month and not be such a Negative Nelly.

I wasn't thinking about unexplained fertility, which is what it sounds like you have, and that the protocol might be different. Try to not get too wrapped up in your online searches, though and focus instead on finding a good doctor who you trust and who will guide you in the best direction based on your situation and health history. Then relax and let them take over! It's been a huge relief for me to have someone else in charge, I'll tell you!

 

[squirrel.]

Sounds like you're in with a great shot! Fingers crossed this is your BFP cycle!

 

[Smille24]

Squirrel- yes, IVF has a higher success rate, but it is super expensive, at least in the US. That's the struggle we were having with the idea of moving on to that. We would've had a 50/50 chance of it working and didn't want to drain our accounts. Here in the US IUI with all the meds and monitoring costed us about $1,300. Ivf was $19,000 but that did not include the cost of injections.

Since your dh has a great count, your success rate is a lot higher for IUI. The internet is not a reliable source. I would sit down with a specialist and go over your options. Maybe a medicated cycle would be the answer. I hope you get answers soon, but I'm really pulling for a bfp for you!

 

[campn]

Hiker- Hope this is your BFP hun!!!

I'll never get why people don't think you don't get a second or a third or a fourth just because you already have kids, you still feel the same as someone who is still struggling for their first, both situations hurt deeply and frustration that you can't get help, or deserve help is just unfair. TTC taugh me to be very grateful for the child I have, but I'd have always felt that there was a little baby I was meant to have but I never did...

 

[squirrel.]

Wow! Smille I can't believe how expensive IVF is over there!!! Here you pay around £4000 for the IVF (not sure how much meds are and that doesn't include consultations and scans I don't think). Edit: Just had a look at the drugs cost and it would be between £700 and £1500. Such a huge variation, I wonder why...

Campn: I know, it's such a strange mentality to have, to assume that just because a woman has children that she doesn't hurt when TTC takes a lot longer than expected. My whole life I have *known* I would have three children. It goes beyond wanting three kids and more into the realm of 'I just know my family will have three children'. Probably because I came from a family with three kids. This final struggle to complete our family has not only thrown me, but has filled with with such a unique frustration because it is so unexpected. I thought we'd fall straight away again, as after two very quick conceptions, why on earth wouldn't be conceive quickly again? This year has been long and hard and a kick in the gut.

And now our new hurdle begins. Waiting for help, going through the tough challenges fertility treatments pose and financing it all. I am excited about getting help, but very wary about the rest!

The good news is I spoke to my husband this evening and he has agreed that if our consultant suggests IVF as the route we should take, then he agrees that we should.

Now just to wait a few weeks to hear what the consultant suggests!

 

[TexasRider]

Well temp drop this morning. Pretty sure I am out and AF will be here tomorrow. I know its still above cover but I'm almost certain AF will show tomorrow. Not too bummed out. Not counting the crazy junk from October to December we have really only tried 5 cycles where I was fairly certain I ovulated

 

[Smille24]

I'm so sorry texas

 

[beemeck]

texas - sorry your temp seems to be on the way down

squirrel - I totally get all of your thoughts and concerns that you were sharing yesterday! The "unexplained fertility" is just the scariest thing for me and at the end of the day I just want a baby however I can get one. I think there was a time where I was somewhat hesitant about medical intervention, but all of that is gone now. When my PCP recommended IVF as opposed to IUI, I was freaking out. But the more I thought about it, the more I was like hey - if it gets me a baby, I'm in. Of course I would love to get pregnant on my own first, and IUI if possible before going to IVF but I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand your train of thought! We are both hitting that year mark right now and I think we are probably both feeling that very impatient anxiety! sending you hugs and can't wait to hear about your upcoming journey!

I'm just hanging out at my normal 98.29. Is it odd that every month I get that same temp about 6 times each TWW?? I think it's so crazy! I'm really just focusing on the HSG right now and getting answers, so I'm really not thinking about this cycle. I think I did build up a lot of hope but it always starts dissipating around this time - prob self preservation.