RAFMrs2
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Messages
- 47
- Reaction score
- 0
Hi, I posted here a few months ago after having a miscarriage on 1st jan. I have since avoided the forum, as if thought maybe distancing myself from the issue would help. I was having trouble with vivid nightmares.
Here we are, 5 months since this happened, and last night I had the most graphic nightmare of my miscarriage, involving the tiny baby.
I thought I would be over this by now, but every day I feel profound loss of what could have been. I'd be 31 weeks now. I work with small children, and last week I broke down in tears at work, totally out the blue. I had to phone in sick the rest of the week, something unheard of.
Nappy adverts on TV make my throat constrict, and I catch myself silently crying, unaware what specifically set me off.
My husband has decided we shouldn't try again, and be thankful for our beautiful thriving 5 yr old girl. I am, obviously. But I feel a failure for not providing her with a sibling, that she will be alone in the world once husband and myself are deceased. We have no relatives.
Also I feel angry at husband for waiting 4 years to finally agree to try for a second baby, then after our failure, he says we should leave it. How dare he give me the hope of a second child to then backtrack. His reasons are sound, he is away quite frequently, as he was for the miscarriage, and he doesn't want me dealing with anything like that again ever on my own. That's fine, but I feel I've been robbed of the chance to make our daughters life a little easier in the future when we pass.
I went to the doctors 2 weeks ago, and her helpful advise was, go home, eat some chocolates and take time to reflect. Needless to say I didn't.
I don't mind if you don't reply, this post was more a way to get my true thoughts out of my head. I can't concentrate on anything today.
I just wondered if these feeling are normal after 5 months, so I'm back on the internet seeing what advise I can find seeing as my gp was uninterested. Thanks
Here we are, 5 months since this happened, and last night I had the most graphic nightmare of my miscarriage, involving the tiny baby.
I thought I would be over this by now, but every day I feel profound loss of what could have been. I'd be 31 weeks now. I work with small children, and last week I broke down in tears at work, totally out the blue. I had to phone in sick the rest of the week, something unheard of.
Nappy adverts on TV make my throat constrict, and I catch myself silently crying, unaware what specifically set me off.
My husband has decided we shouldn't try again, and be thankful for our beautiful thriving 5 yr old girl. I am, obviously. But I feel a failure for not providing her with a sibling, that she will be alone in the world once husband and myself are deceased. We have no relatives.
Also I feel angry at husband for waiting 4 years to finally agree to try for a second baby, then after our failure, he says we should leave it. How dare he give me the hope of a second child to then backtrack. His reasons are sound, he is away quite frequently, as he was for the miscarriage, and he doesn't want me dealing with anything like that again ever on my own. That's fine, but I feel I've been robbed of the chance to make our daughters life a little easier in the future when we pass.
I went to the doctors 2 weeks ago, and her helpful advise was, go home, eat some chocolates and take time to reflect. Needless to say I didn't.
I don't mind if you don't reply, this post was more a way to get my true thoughts out of my head. I can't concentrate on anything today.
I just wondered if these feeling are normal after 5 months, so I'm back on the internet seeing what advise I can find seeing as my gp was uninterested. Thanks