5 year old only wants daddy

[sequeena]

My son and I are usually very close. My husband works nights so I do the majority of the care. Last week was half term and my husband had a week off work. For the entire week Thomas would not let me do anything with him. He wouldn't hold my hand to cross the road, wouldn't eat if I was next to him, wouldn't play with me, wouldn't sleep etc. He only wanted his father. At first it was sweet. They don't spend much time together due to my husband's work so it didn't bother me but as the week went on it became annoying and quite hurtful. I'm trying not to take it personally because he's only 5 but it's hard.

Last night my husband went back to work so we were back in our usual routine. It took over 2 hours to get him to sleep. That's not unusual for Thomas, he has disordered sleep but the entire 2 hours he was screaming for daddy.

I don't know what to do. My husband can't do bedtime. I just want us to be close again

 

[AngelUK]

Aw I am so sorry Sequeena. But I think it must be because he sees his daddy less and has you for sure that he feels safe to scream like that in front of you. He must have really loved his time with his daddy and wanted to make the most of it. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, quite the contrary. You are his rock, never doubt it!

 

[MindUtopia]

I would just ride it out and try not to worry. I find my daughter tends to go through this too during times when there has been a change, one of us away for a bit, different routine where one of us does things the other usually does. It settles down after things are back to normal, but can take a week or two sometimes. My daughter went through a real spell of it last year when I started a new job and my hours (and our time spent together) changed significantly. It lasted about a month, all fine now.

 

[happyonisland]

You are a great mom and your son loves you. However, if he doesn’t spend enough time with Dad, he took full advantage of time with dad, and that’s okay. Also, when children come off their regular schedule, it takes some time for adjustments again. No worries. Continue to be consistent at bedtime and ensure your love for him.
I wish you all the best. Good luck!

 

[sequeena]

Thank you all. I know it's a phase and normal for him to act like this. I'm just very jealous

 

[CRWx]

he loves you lots, I'm sure it'll be back to usual soon.

Totally get it, although completely different, my DD doesn't have a relationship with her dad and says dada quite a lot (just noise I guess!) and that gets my back up.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Both mine have gone through phases like this. I think it's because I'm with them the majority of the time and so daddy is a novelty when he's home from work

 

[sequeena]

CRWx that would annoy me too!

Thanks Bev x we've been ok the last few days. He still prefers daddy but he's listening to me at least

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm glad he's listening to you again

 

[baileybubs]

Aw Hun I'm sorry it's making you feel bad, as others have said it's just because you are always there and daddy isn't. He doesn't have to ask for mummy coz he knows mummy is always there, and any change in routine can cause upset.
Don't let it get to you Hun, our kids express themselves more with those who are around more often as they feel most comfortable with them. That's why quite often kids are seen as being so well behaved and fun with people they don't see as often and yet for us mums (or dads dependent upon family lifestyle) they "play up" it's just them being able to be themselves and express their emotions.

 

[sequeena]

Sorry I've not replied but that's so true bailey.

I'm having issues with Thomas again. Very defiant. Crying for daddy etc aaaaagghhhhhh!!!!!

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm sorry you're having the issues again hun. Hopefully it's just a phase

 

[misspriss]

DS is 4 and has gone through several nights when all he wants is for Daddy to put him to bed. DH puts DD to bed and I put DS to bed, we do stores and a song and then I sit with him in the room until he goes to sleep. But when he wants DH, all he does is cry and scream for DH - he will keep it up for over a hour! Usually by then DD has gone to sleep and poor DH has to come and put a second kid to sleep.

We've tried switching, but DD won't go to sleep for me, she gets too excited with the change in routine.