5th baby

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by motherofboys, Oct 27, 2019.

  1. Cewsbaby

    Cewsbaby Mom of 2 boys! Hoping for a 3rd

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    Im sorry hun. I know its hard but I am happy he's healthy and your healthy! Your SIL is horrible for saying that to you.
     
    motherofboys likes this.
  2. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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  3. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    Just been accidentally shot in the face with a nerf gun and ended up crying even though it didn't hurt that much and just couldn't stop. It like it's taken 48 hours and a shot to the face to uncover all those feelings.
     
  4. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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  5. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    I know the likely hood of being shot in the face by a girl if there are nerf guns in the house is probably just as high, but that isn't how it feels. I'm sure I'll be fine later.
     
  6. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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  7. Cewsbaby

    Cewsbaby Mom of 2 boys! Hoping for a 3rd

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    Oh hun, Im so sorry. :hugs:
     
  8. mrsmummy2

    mrsmummy2 Mum of 3 ❤

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  9. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to 2 Princess and 1 Prince

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    Aww sorry hun . I’m glad your feeling ok . It’s ok to cry too ,don’t bottle your feelings up ! Your SIL is a jerk too (sorry!)how annoying I would have bit her head off !

    You can focus on the arrival of your beautiful baby now and buy some things for him , might help with the bonding etc. I’m sure you will be fine, will be amazing for you all when he arrives! Xx
     
  10. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    I feel a bit better again today. Last night I was actually trying to come up with ways that would make it possible to have another which is just silly. I mean, I would have loved 6 anyway but we agreed 5 is our maximum. We haven't got room for any more, but I was evening thinking "well in 4/5 years ds1 will probably be going off to uni so I'd have more room again" but do I really want to do this all again in 5 years? It's better just to draw a line under it so it can't hang over my head for years. I would consider adoption, but with DH being older than me, and having had health problems, I'm not sure that in a few years they'd actually want us :haha:
     
  11. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    I've still not bought anything. I know that when we moved I whittled down anything too small for ds4 who was 18 months at the time in to just 2 bin liners so basically just had my favourite things from newborn to 18 months in those 2 bags, so will need more. My niece has offered me her son's things as they are moving and clearing them all out.
     
  12. wanna_baby

    wanna_baby Well-Known Member

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    Aww I’m so sorry you didn’t get your girl... I was rooting for you... maybe because I’m in the same boat... but like others were saying glad the baby is healthy and if you don’t go for 6th then eventually you’ll get daughter in laws who are hopefully close to you and you can have the daughter bond... I know it’s not the same but just something to look forward to...

    Glad you are dealing with your emotions before the baby is born....
     
  13. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to 2 Princess and 1 Prince

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    Glad your feeling better each day !


    Agree with Wanna , my In laws had DH and BIL they tried for a girl next but for some reason they never had any more children . I met DH when I was 16 and in laws have been like parents to me ! We certainly have the bond that you would have with your own daughter ! I owe them a lot .
    Xx
     
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  14. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    The problem is that I don't have many female friends, I always got on better with boys. I've tried really hard to have a close relationship with my nieces, the eldest is only 6 years younger than me and has a son of her own which I thought would bring us closer as well but it hasn't. You can't name them, you can't dress them, you can't teach them about make up and fashion and influence them in any way, they are already their own person. I want to actually raise a girl. I want to watch girls cartoons, do hair, buy girls toys.
    A friend has 4 boys, her eldest son now has a daughter, and the daughters mum is awful so she's not getting to enjoy all the things you would think you would get from having a granddaughter. Another friend has 5 boys, her first grandchild was also a boy. DH grandad was one of 6 boys and then had 3 boys himself and one of his boys had 3 boys. Another friend had 4 girls, her eldest has a son now, but she moved away from her mum (like halfway across the country) and they've since fallen out so she has nothing to do with this little boy that she was so excited for. Out of my mum's grandchildren she only sees my boys like twice a year, and she's not seen my niece since she was 3. She's 14 now.
    I know it isn't that way for everyone but I see all these people in these situations, and it doesn't feel me with hope for being close to any granddaughters. Most of my friends just moan because their mother in law has kept buying their kids clothes that aren't to their tastes or trying to interfere. You don't get the freedom you do with your own child.

    I don't feel sad this evening, but I am resigned to the fact that I will never have a close female relationship in my life, and will never get to do the things I want to do with a daughter.
     
  15. wanna_baby

    wanna_baby Well-Known Member

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    Actually we hope that we can dress them in pretty things and have a closer bond than boys but in reality, it could be the other way around... my sister has 2 kids, one of each... although she got to dress the girl in pretty things when she was really young, that was temporary... she is now such a tomboy... hates wearing dresses, no make up, hair always on a pony , lives in her sneakers... and my sister actually has a closer bond with the boy than the girl.... so it could go either way... a lot of boys I know are mommy’s boys that always have a close bond with the mom.... just a different perspective to make you feel better...
    I might need my own advise in 12 weeks
     
  16. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    Honestly I usually tell people that, but I've never been a girly girl and am not fussed about the older part. Older girls don't bring out that it got I need a daughter thing, it's baby girls and toddlers that do, which is the bit where you can pick their clothes.
    I'm not close to my mum and my SIL isn't close to hers, but she is really close to her daughter so she's at least got to experience that once. I don't need to be closer to a girl than my boys, I just need to have a girl that I actually feel any kind of bond with, rather than she's just putting up with me.
     
  17. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    I'm sorry I know I probably sound like I'm being purposely negative and refusing help. I honestly don't feel like I did the other day, I feel much better, but it's still hard to accept that that's it. It's done now.
     
  18. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    Hey, so I want to apologise if I was being stubborn before. I'm now feeling like "Yeah it would have been nice but it is what it is" rather than self pity. The only bit I'm struggling with is a name. All of the boys have 2 middle names so I've basically already used 12 boy names, and while I've found some I like nothing is really jumping out at me and screaming "I'm your sons name!" Feels like I've used all the best name :haha:
     
  19. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    lol! There is still plenty of time to decide on a name that's just right :)
     
  20. motherofboys

    motherofboys Mum of 4 boys. Baby 5 due April

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    I've normally got a name before I even find out so I feel like I'm running out of time. DH just makes ridiculous suggestions haha
     

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