Yay for your due date Twag! Don't get so down on yourself! Your body knows what to do, gotta have some faith and trust it.
Try doing some positive affirmations. Your mind can absolutely stop your labor so banish those negative thoughts and visualize your body naturally and easily going into labor and having the perfect birth you want. This site has a whole list of affirmations and visualizations you can do. https://www.positivebirthstories.com/affirmations/
My midwives and Hypnobabies program also recommend doing a Fear Clearing session. You just get relaxed, ask yourself what your fears are about this birth, and start writing whatever pops in your mind. You might need to write the same sentences over and over again but just keep writing it every time it comes to mind until it stops popping up. Doing this releases those fears from being bottled up in your mind and reduces stress. It will make you feel more confident and positive by being free of all those negative thoughts.
Yesterday I had tons of BH and they are definitely getting more intense than before, and lasting at least a minute. I don't feel any pressure down there yet but when I was changing for bed last night I looked in the mirror and I swear my bump looks like it changed shape, like a bit lower down. So maybe baby is working on getting engaged.
I got a little nervous last night because an acquaintance who had the same due date as me just had her baby yesterday! DH and I went out to dinner (while we still can!) and when we got home her new baby was all over Facebook. I was like Okay time to pack some of the labor bag lol!! So there I was at midnight packing the diaper bag lol
Most of my bag will be just clothes so I can't really pack much of it until the day of since I need to wear them until then, but I got the baby's bag done.
And yesterday I sterilized all the bottles and pump parts and etc, and washed our bed sheets. I also finished sewing my rocking chair cushions Thursday. I did most of the big tasks while dh was away (he got home Monday), so yesterday I also gave him a lesson on how to do the cloth diapers haha. We practiced on an old doll I have lol!
When she misses the nipple, she gets instantly mad, and she's impossible to latch on when she's screaming. So I'm learning to keep her calm and attempt latching. If she gets angry, out comes the syringe! 
feel like my body is useless and doesn't know how yo go into labour on its own 
