A group for TTC#1 and had more than one loss?

[mommylov]

I will see what this RE says on wed but according to my PA, she said that they would only keep me for the 1st tri and then I would go back to my office. Im terrified of going through this again. I really thought this was it and that we found the problem. I know the RE's are WAY more knowledgable and so I hope that they are able to get to the bottom of this and help me carry and healthy baby to term. My heart aches at the thought of not ever having a child with my husband. He would be an amazing father and I just want this so bad for the both of us. Not to mention my parents have no grandchildren and arent getting any younger. I want this for them too.

 

[BeachChica]

Oh MommyLov - I am sending you a super big HUG!!! I am so, so sorry. I have been through this as well so if you have ANY questions don't hesitate to ask. I also saw an RE after my 3rd loss. Everything came back normal but it does take some time for all the testing. They typically do them in stages. I understand you don't want a D&C but perhaps you could check with your doctor to see if they can still test the tissue when you pass it. I had a natural MC that I collected all the tissue on (it was a little gross but I was desperate for answers). I wish I would have had a few more of mine tested. If you decide to do this, my doctor had me collect it in a bag of alcohol and refrigerated until I could get it to him. I collected everything that came out as a chunk. Sorry TMI.
It is typical to go back to your regular OB after 12 weeks as they feel you are in the clear then and although they are a more knowledgeable when it comes to issues, they are usually not really as good in the regular OB area as far as the experience etc. If that makes any sense. I hope this goes quickly for you girl!

 

[mommylov]

I did ask about getting the tissue tested and she told me that the fetus was too young to detect any chromosome issues

So you tested normal for everything? So they have no explanation for your losses?

 

[Nicki123]

Hi mommylov. I hadn't realised it could be too early for karyotyping. I think mine were both of the size of 6 or max 7 weeks and they successfully tested those, but I did had an erpc each time. It might be more difficult if you are going down the natural route. I'm sure your doc can explain.

Beach - sorry you had to go through that, sounds so distressing.

Afm, still waiting for ov. Come on eggy...

 

[mommylov]

This baby measured a little over 6 weeks but I'll just pass it and move on I guess. Just wish everything would be done already so that I can start the next chapter

 

[honeyprayer]

Hi mommylov. I hadn't realised it could be too early for karyotyping. I think mine were both of the size of 6 or max 7 weeks and they successfully tested those, but I did had an erpc each time. It might be more difficult if you are going down the natural route. I'm sure your doc can explain.

Beach - sorry you had to go through that, sounds so distressing.

Afm, still waiting for ov. Come on eggy...

Still waiting for my eggy too. My opks have been close to positive for like 5 days now! I seriously feel like my body is playing mean tricks on me.

Do you think having the polyp removed made my hormones wonky? I have no idea why I'm getting so many close to positives but not any positives!

Feeling defeated already this cycle

 

[mommylov]

Honey and Nick, I hope you get your +OPK's here soon!

Hope everyone is doing well...

Going to do another HCG then pill to get things going today

 

[NewToAllThis]

Thinking of you mommylov. Hope you can pass easily so you can move on, as you say.

I can understand why you want to do it naturally. ERPC's do mess things up and make your cycles wonky for a bit. Plus it's said that a natural m/c makes you more fertile. The ONLY positive to be had from the crap

 

[wookie130]

Im terrified of going through this again. I really thought this was it and that we found the problem. I know the RE's are WAY more knowledgable and so I hope that they are able to get to the bottom of this and help me carry and healthy baby to term. My heart aches at the thought of not ever having a child with my husband. He would be an amazing father and I just want this so bad for the both of us. Not to mention my parents have no grandchildren and arent getting any younger. I want this for them too.

I could have written this, over a year ago. I realize you've had one more loss than I had, but I still know the overwhelming grief, anxiety, and insecurity miscarriage leaves with you...and honey, I hate to say it, it will probably NOT go away until you have your rainbow. I say "until" you have your rainbow, and not "if"...I do have faith that your RE can provide a more comprehensive answer as to what's going on. I would try to catch a bit of the embryonic tissue and take it to your RE as soon as you're able, though...that can be very revealing, as emotionally painful as it is to have to do that.

 

[mommylov]

Thank you

So....My dr left me a vm this morning asking me if I did my bloodwork (Just went and did it) and then told me that she wanted to talk to me about getting the tissue tested. I asked her about it yesterday and she told me that it might be too early and that they wouldnt be able to test the tissue at this stage meaning I needed to be a little further along? So I went home and convinced myself that maybe I was being saved from additional heartache and the thought of being able to just close my eyes as I pass everything and move on might be better. NOPE. Now I think she is going to tell me that I can catch my dead child's tissue and have it tested. Sigh.

 

[honeyprayer]

As hard as that might be, having the tissue tested might give you some answers.

You are such a strong woman, if anyone can do this, it's you. This beautiful baby may not have made it into this world, but their short life is now going to be used for a such a great purpose. Just think of it as getting one step closer to your rainbow, and this loss is helping you do just that.

xx

 

[NewToAllThis]

As hard as that might be, having the tissue tested might give you some answers.

You are such a strong woman, if anyone can do this, it's you. This beautiful baby may not have made it into this world, but their short life is now going to be used for a such a great purpose. Just think of it as getting one step closer to your rainbow, and this loss is helping you do just that.

xx

I couldn't have put it better myself honeyprayer Thanks

mommylov

 

[mommylov]

did anyone have to have more than one D&C? Im so terrified right now on top of everything.

 

[NewToAllThis]

I had two d&cs. With m/cs 1 & 2.

 

[honeyprayer]

I wish I could offer more help but I passed both of mine naturally

 

[mommylov]

Dr just text me "HCG at 29924 so it dropped slightly". She is waiting for a Dr to get back to her. I think he is the dr that would do the D&C but I dont know if he is also the dr on call over the weekend. Her worry was that I was going to have to have an emergency D&C which is what she is trying to avoid. So I responded to her and said "So I still have to jave a D&C or am I ok to do the pill? If you think having a D&C is really needed and trying to take the pill is too risky, then Ill do it. Just fear having to have surgery let alone this one twice in less than a year. I dont want to jeopardize our chances of having kids but Ill do whatever you think is best for us". Now im just waiting for her to respond.

I seriously just give up on trying to be optomistic. My mom tried to tell me to be optomistic. How the f can you be with bad news after bad news for a gosh darn year. I get nothing but bad news and Im sick of it.

 

[honeyprayer]

It's hard right now because its all so fresh Give yourself some time to heal.

 

[wookie130]

Oh, the old "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and be optimistic" cure...handed down to us from our own mothers, no less. File that one under the "Things People Say When They Don't Know What Else To Say" column. One of the more painful aspects of miscarriage...how OTHERS respond to our losses.

 

[mommylov]

I love my patents and I knows is hurting right now. She tells me that can't imagine because she didn't have to go through all this.

So the dr on fri gave me the ok to try misoprostol which I took yesterday morning at 6:30 per her instructions. Didn't work so took dose #2 4 hours later and I started cramping then bleeding an hour later. I collected all the tissue I could with the kit they have me. She described to me what I was looking for (the difference between tissue and fetus) but said to collect everything. I did and I also saw my baby. Spine and all. Looked just like it did on the ultrasound. It was maybe 1/2 an inch. My heart sank. Put everything in the containers the dr have me and its sitting in the fridge until tomorrow morning when I drop it off. I just hope that everything cane out and that I don't have tissue left or need an emergency d&c.

 

[NewToAllThis]

Mommylov - sending you the biggest hug ever. I cannot imagine how hard the past couple of days have been for you. You are very strong and WILL come out the other side of this.

People who have not experienced loss like we have do not understand and don't know what to say so very often they say the wrong things.

I am glad you have passed everything and won't need a d&c. I firmly believe your body recovers quicker and so helps you to carry on too.