A group for TTC#1 and had more than one loss?

[mpepe32]

Anyone else frustrated by partners willingness and availability? Why do I get so uptight when it's time to do it. I seem to get so pissed off when things get in the way of doing it. Anyone have any ideas, suggestions on how to just relax and let it happen. Why does it feel like the end of the world if we don't do it?

I have no advice! I get so panicked! Last night, DH came home from the dentist, this was bad enough. Then we got 3 phone calls ina row from his family members and I would not let him pick up, they didn't leave any messages, they never do so I figured it wasn't an emergency, but what flippin' timing! really sorry for my rant, i just wanted to say I totally understand

tweak - maybe I'll try that sperm bank thing tonight! I can already sense from talking to him on the phone that he is not in the mood, and I'm still at work.

 

[Tweak0605]

Anyone else frustrated by partners willingness and availability? Why do I get so uptight when it's time to do it. I seem to get so pissed off when things get in the way of doing it. Anyone have any ideas, suggestions on how to just relax and let it happen. Why does it feel like the end of the world if we don't do it?

I have no advice! I get so panicked! Last night, DH came home from the dentist, this was bad enough. Then we got 3 phone calls ina row from his family members and I would not let him pick up, they didn't leave any messages, they never do so I figured it wasn't an emergency, but what flippin' timing! really sorry for my rant, i just wanted to say I totally understand

tweak - maybe I'll try that sperm bank thing tonight! I can already sense from talking to him on the phone that he is not in the mood, and I'm still at work.

Try it! I never thought about doing something like that! I seriously flipped my lid the last time we had a fight. Like I got really upset. We talked the next day for a long time, and I think he finally got it. Before, he wouldn't think of DTD after his trip home from school (2 hrs) .. Now, he will. We DTD last week after his trip home and will do it again tomorrow since I got the + OPK today. He's so much more willing to after our talk.

 

[mpepe32]

tweak - lol you're hilarious! I feel like leaving baby pictures around the house so he gets the point and is reminded of why we are doing what we are doing!

 

[Tweak0605]

Hahahaha! You could try that too! That might work!

 

[patiently]

AFM - CD22 and noooo ovulation yet. OPK was darker yesterday then the other days, but still not +. And no temp rise either - they're actually declining. Hope that means that ovulation is on it's way.

hope you ov soon i know all too well about late ovulation good luck hun..hope it happens soon.

Anyone else frustrated by partners willingness and availability? Why do I get so uptight when it's time to do it. I seem to get so pissed off when things get in the way of doing it. Anyone have any ideas, suggestions on how to just relax and let it happen. Why does it feel like the end of the world if we don't do it?

My OH really annoys me at that crucial time of the month...it seems we always seem to argue around that time but how can it not be that simple to understand that in order to get our bfp we need to BD on those days...when he sayd we'll just let it happen i get so mad to the point where i want to cry...we only ovulate once per cycle so timing is crucial how do they not understand...it really bugs me if we could just get our bfp without them believe me sometimes it would take less effort!! they need to pull up their socks see how hard we work for our bfp and work just as hard! i mean come on most men would jump at the chance to not use contraception and BD as much as possible and here they are complaining...and most importantly not cooperating!! huff!! i hope in the future he is more willing

I have no advice! I get so panicked! Last night, DH came home from the dentist, this was bad enough. Then we got 3 phone calls ina row from his family members and I would not let him pick up, they didn't leave any messages, they never do so I figured it wasn't an emergency, but what flippin' timing! really sorry for my rant, i just wanted to say I totally understand

tweak - maybe I'll try that sperm bank thing tonight! I can already sense from talking to him on the phone that he is not in the mood, and I'm still at work.

so sorry you are going through this this has been my experience every month!!! argh!

thank you ladies or all your support and kind words

 

[Applejack1]

Hi beach and tweak! I think I have tried everything. Here's the problem though....he is a type 1 diabetic and had a heart attack at 39. Because of the diabetes he suffers from Ed at times. Throw this infertility stuff for the last 3 years into the mix and it's more often. We rarely do it unless its the time to. Last month we had like 3 huge fights and I ended up going back to counseling to deal with everything. I have asked him to come next time. His position is that he has taken the step and gotten Viagra for the Ed to only be taken during this time. I think it's great but still find myself getting so disappointed when things don't work during my fertile period. I get so uptight and then feel so hopeless. It's killing me!

 

[Applejack1]

Sorry mpepe and patiently in the time it took me to write that without him seeing I see you both posted as well! Sorry the pervious message has your name on it too! Baby dance was a FLOP tonight! No pun intended!

 

[Ladyfog]

Thanks everyone it was the really faint HPT that scared the living daylights out of me, combined with the loss of symptoms. I'm hoping that the test was a dud or it really was the hook effect and I'm not going to test anymore now . Boobs are back to their normal pregnant selves now and I felt grotty and was in bed by 9.15 last night and still felt queezy when DH came to bed at midnight so I'm hoping it was a lot of fuss about nothing! I was so stressed yesterday though, in my mind I was right back at the hospital again going through all the MC stuff again. It makes me realise how on edge I actually am about all this.

Just going to hope with all my heart that the scan comes back with a happy result and I get to see my first ever heartbeat .

NSN, if your lurking, lots of

Patiently - you're so early to test so don't worry! HGC doubles every day after implantation and need to get up to the level you HPT can detect so even if you've got a 10mlU test it's still going to take 4-5 days before it's close to high enough. Be patient, and try testing in 5 days or so - if you can wait that long! As Beach said, sometimes you won't even get a BFP until days after AF is due

Tweak, your post made me chuckle - I'm glad DH is back on board with the BDing now! I think one reason our OH lose interest sometimes is we forget how hard miscarriage is on them too - not only for the loss itself but what they see us go through. I think it can make them cautious is a weird way about getting us pregnant again. Apple and Mpepe, I'm sorry your OHs are struggling to get in the mood. I'm sure you've tried everything, but have you tried massage and relaxing him before DTD. especially if they have had a hard day at work? It might help to get you both in the mood and stop them feeling like they are a just wanted for their sperm (which I'm sure isn't the case anyway)? I'm lucky, DH never complained and we managed to do a combination of quickies (if I was tired, I'd just him to hop on, 'make a deposit' and then he'd go back to watching telly and leave me to go to sleep!) and some more romantic mornings in bed. It worked for us and I don't think either of else felt obliged that way. I've got the opposite problem now - I'm trying to avoid BDing while OH is trying his best to get in my knickers! And it's our wedding anniversary today!!!

Hi and to anyone I've missed.

 

[justwaiting]

Happy anniversary lady. I'm glad all the symptoms have come back. PAl is hard.

 

[patiently]

Ladyfog im so happy your symptoms have returned..it must be such a rollercoaster of emotions fear and excitement...but youre doing the right thing it seems like your taking it easy and remaining optimistic which is the best thing...I hope you get to see a healthy heartbeat and all is well what is the date of your scan? Wish you all the best and hope your symptoms reassure you throughout your entire pregnancy...Happy anniversary too..how many years? have you and OH planned anything special other than him wanting to BD? I hope you all have a wonderful day together...you, baby and OH!! Thank you for your reassurance in your message sometimes its hard to stay positive but with the support of you gals i feel so lucky and am so thankful to NSN for starting it....

NSN how are you feeling today?

Hello to all other ladies hope you are feeling good and enjoy your thursday x

 

[Tweak0605]

Applejack - that is really hard. I agree with Ladyfog's suggestions; maybe try giving a massage to get him in the mood.

Ladyfog - Happy Anniversary! I'm glad your symptoms have returned! Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts that LO is snuggling deep in there The ladies on my journal were the ones who suggested threatening with a sperm bank. I don't think I would've ever thought of doing that myself!

 

[Ladyfog]

My scan's on Monday (21st) so only 4 days to go!

We've been married 4 years today! I've taken a today until Monday off for a long weekend and we're heading to my sisters down in Brighton for the weekend so we're really looking forward to that. We're actually going to pick up a new car today! It's a VW Golf Plus - it's going to be our 'family car' (we have a teeny smart car at the moment) so it will be exciting to feel like we're doing something towards being parents! I hope we can make it out for a nice meal somewhere close to home tonight too

Patiently, glad I've helped you feel more relaxed. Just wait and see - have a day in your mind and wait until then if you can. FX for you

 

[Ladyfog]

Applejack - that is really hard. I agree with Ladyfog's suggestions; maybe try giving a massage to get him in the mood.

Ladyfog - Happy Anniversary! I'm glad your symptoms have returned! Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts that LO is snuggling deep in there The ladies on my journal were the ones who suggested threatening with a sperm bank. I don't think I would've ever thought of doing that myself!

Tweak we crossed posts! Thanks, and glad the threat of the sperm bank worked

 

[Tweak0605]

My scan's on Monday (21st) so only 4 days to go!

We've been married 4 years today! I've taken a today until Monday off for a long weekend and we're heading to my sisters down in Brighton for the weekend so we're really looking forward to that. We're actually going to pick up a new car today! It's a VW Golf Plus - it's going to be our 'family car' (we have a teeny smart car at the moment) so it will be exciting to feel like we're doing something towards being parents! I hope we can make it out for a nice meal somewhere close to home tonight too

Ladyfog - Happy Anniversary! I'm glad your symptoms have returned! Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts that LO is snuggling deep in there The ladies on my journal were the ones who suggested threatening with a sperm bank. I don't think I would've ever thought of doing that myself!

Tweak we crossed posts! Thanks, and glad the threat of the sperm bank worked

Aww sounds like you have a great day planned! Woohoo on the new car!

 

[lexi374]

Lady glad your symptoms have picked up again, happy anniversary x

Im with you on the bedding around ov, a its usually a quickie!
Cant be bothered to do it otherwise in the week!

Aj must be hard with dh having health problems aswell, we put so much pressure on ourselves but its all so frutrating

Hey to everyone else x

 

[mpepe32]

Hi beach and tweak! I think I have tried everything. Here's the problem though....he is a type 1 diabetic and had a heart attack at 39. Because of the diabetes he suffers from Ed at times. Throw this infertility stuff for the last 3 years into the mix and it's more often. We rarely do it unless its the time to. Last month we had like 3 huge fights and I ended up going back to counseling to deal with everything. I have asked him to come next time. His position is that he has taken the step and gotten Viagra for the Ed to only be taken during this time. I think it's great but still find myself getting so disappointed when things don't work during my fertile period. I get so uptight and then feel so hopeless. It's killing me!

so sorry this is happening for you. I think DH although relatively healthy lets stress get to him. It's a challenge for him at times to destress and that impacts the bd'g. The stress of infertility and mc's really do a number on us! DH actually admitted he had a bad day because he learned someone at work is pregnant. Glad to know its not just me that gets bummed out

hi to everyone else

lady - happy anniversary!

afm - pretty sure I O yesterday so I'm done this cycle, what ever happens, happens...

 

[Applejack1]

We do put way to much pressure on ourselves don't we Lexi? mpepe it's so great to know for me as well that I am not the only one that feels this way! Guess there is always tonight.

Curious to know how you all track your Ovulation. I know most use the kits but I don't want to start spending the money since I have to maybe pay for Clomid come January should nothing change and I am also afraid it would just stress hubby out even more.

Anyone else on this thread use Monthly Info to track? I love it!!!! I have been tacking for 3 years now. So I guess my question is how long do you have from the time you see the change in CM to the time you ovulate. Anyone come across some info during your research? Monthly Info tells me I will Ovulate on Sunday but I saw the CM on Monday. Now its Thursday, last nights dance was a flop. Should I feel like this cycle is a no go?????

PS. This is such great support by the way. Thanks to everyone who keeps up with the comments. I know I miss commenting back to people so sorry if I do. But trust me I read every post and appreciate it so much!!!!

 

[BeachChica]

Ladyfog - Happy Anniversary and glad your symptoms are back. I know it's hard but I am really trying to tell myself not to worry as much this pregnancy, we can't control the outcome. That's hilarious about the "deposits" I get some of those too when I'm just too tired. Oh, is your EDD right in your signature? You are due in July 2012 right?

Applejack - have you tried tracking your BBT? I just picked up a basal thermometer at the pharmacy and track my temperate using Fertility Friend. There is no cost for the basic membership and you can do it online or on your phone. You will be able to see OV by your temperature and also measuring cervical fluid. There are some great tools on there too. Once you use it for a couple months it has better information for tracking your cycles and averages.

Well I had my first doctors appt today he said everything looks good. The urine pregnancy test came back positive - yeah!!! They took bloodwork today too but I won't have that back for a couple days.
I am scheduled again for bloodwork on the 23rd and first ultrasound on December 1st. Can't wait! Oh, They are also checking my progesterone levels to see if I need it. I think I'm finally ready to embrace being pregnant and just hope for the best.

How is everyone else doing today?

 

[Tweak0605]

We do put way to much pressure on ourselves don't we Lexi? mpepe it's so great to know for me as well that I am not the only one that feels this way! Guess there is always tonight.

Curious to know how you all track your Ovulation. I know most use the kits but I don't want to start spending the money since I have to maybe pay for Clomid come January should nothing change and I am also afraid it would just stress hubby out even more.

Anyone else on this thread use Monthly Info to track? I love it!!!! I have been tacking for 3 years now. So I guess my question is how long do you have from the time you see the change in CM to the time you ovulate. Anyone come across some info during your research? Monthly Info tells me I will Ovulate on Sunday but I saw the CM on Monday. Now its Thursday, last nights dance was a flop. Should I feel like this cycle is a no go?????

PS. This is such great support by the way. Thanks to everyone who keeps up with the comments. I know I miss commenting back to people so sorry if I do. But trust me I read every post and appreciate it so much!!!!

I use Fertility Friend to track my ovulation. It works so well for me, since I temp, and I have the app on my phone. With the CM, I can usually see EWCM up to a week before ovulation, sometimes more. This month I've had it for awhile! I think you still have a definite chance!

Well I had my first doctors appt today he said everything looks good. The urine pregnancy test came back positive - yeah!!! They took bloodwork today too but I won't have that back for a couple days.
I am scheduled again for bloodwork on the 23rd and first ultrasound on December 1st. Can't wait! Oh, They are also checking my progesterone levels to see if I need it. I think I'm finally ready to embrace being pregnant and just hope for the best.

How is everyone else doing today?

So glad everything looked good at your first appt! Loving your new ticker!

 

[justwaiting]

Beach great news about your first dr's appt. so ahppy it went well and he's doing some testing!!!

Lady - have a great anniversary weekend and enjoy the new car.

Hi Everyone else!!