A Limbo thread...

[ClaireMuir123]

Lauki, thank you

Oh he knows how much he's hurt me and screwed me up. He says he's interested in baby noodles etc but when I asked him last night how far on I was he couldn't tell me I have a fuckin ticker on google for goodness sake! It makes me feel so bad for my baby girl, he was so interested in Jayden when I was pregnant but this time he's barely touch my stomach.

I've told him I don't want to see him, so I'm taking Jayden out when he gets in from work and not coming back until he's away out for football. Might seem harsh taking Jayden with me but he has to know how damn hard it's gonna be not seeing Jayden all the time, cos he wouldn't if I were to leave him.

He wanted to cuddle last night, but I couldn't bare the thought of him near me.

What makes it worse is this is a girl who lives local and he went to school with! Makes me feel sick every time I think about it but I can't get it out of my head xxx

 

[CeeCee2010]

Good luck ceecee!

Ladies, I am not doing good at all. Mentally I am (excuse my french) fucked up. Hubby left himself logged onto facebook and I seen some not very nice messages to another woman, flirty ones. I swear, I've had enough. He's done it about 4-5 times not and my heart is in a million pieces. It may not seem like the crime of the centuary but I can't cope with it. I'd rather he went out and shagged someone than sit flirting with someone online and telling her she's hot and how she'd look great in a certain piece of clothing, and how he'll have to visit her work so he can be served by the 'sexy waitress' when he can't even pay me a simple 'you look nice' compliment.

I know he's a naturally flirty person anyway, but he can't seem to do it with me - not even a wee bit. I honestly don't know what has happened to our relationship right now, we don't seem to have one outside of being parents.

I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him. All I do know is if I didn't have Jayden and was pregnant I'd have told him to pack his bags and fuck off. But why should I stay in a relationship with no trust just because of the kids?

I don't deserve to be treated like this, I am utterly shattered. I only had 2-3 hours sleep last night, I was trying to figure out if I could afford my house on my own or should we stay together for money or what.........................

Sorry ladies, I just had to get it out but I don't want to fully rant on facebook because I have alot of his friends on there and I don't want them knowing - although I don't know why I'm protecting him. I have never even once thought about contacting another guy online, even after he's continued to do it to me. I'm not interested in doing it, when I married him, I made the promise to stay FAITHFUL to him, and I have. Always. I remember a night out I was on an a very nice guy kept coming onto me, telling me I was beautiful etc (this was a long time ago lol) and he was very charming and basically wanted to be with me. But I said no, because I was in a commited relationship and loved my bf (at the time) Next day I read hubby's messages and this was the 1st time he had been on chat rooms and given out his phone number and sending VERY explicit and flirty messages.

Then I was pregnant with jayden and found his phonebill and contacted a number he'd been constantly texting - found out from her everything he;d said. Then Jayden was 3 months old and he was at it again!

I'm sorry ladies I'll stop now, I just don't know where else I can turn and I feel really alone and heartbroken xxx

Oh hunny I'm so sorry. I wondered if something was up as you put something that sounded like you were upset as your f/book status, I didn't want to pry though as I know a complete stranger being nosey is the last thing you need. If I'm being brutally honest hun, it sounds like your hubby keeps doing it because he has gotten away with it before. That's no slur on you. It takes an extremely strong person to forgive somebody and take them back and try to make things work. I've tried to before and couldn't do it so admire you for your strength hun.

Have you spoken to your DH about his indiscretions? I know flirting isn't the crime of the century but when you feel insecure and a person has done this type of thing before, it hurts like hell. I know that from past experience with an ex.

I know that right now your head is probably all over the place but I think you need to try and get to the bare bones of the situation. I know staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the children may seem like a good idea but sometimes it can be worse then divorce. My friends parents hated each other growing up and her dad was always off with other women. My friend just wished that they'd divorced sooner so that at least she would have two happy parents. Just because you're not together doesn't mean you can't still be parents remember.

But essentially your decision must come down to one thing.... Do you still love your husband? I mean, can he give you everything you need from your relationship? Do you feel secure and loved by him no matter what? Ultimately, you have one life and you deserve to be happy and loved sweetheart. Its the hardest thing in the world to leave somebody but if you don't love them enough sometimes its for the best. My sister ended up splitting with her now ex husband when she was 8 months pregnant!

I'm here if you need to talk hun XXX Big hugs and sorry if anything I say offends you XXX

 

[ClaireMuir123]

Thanks to the rest of you ladies, he knows exactly how much he's hurt me and I'm pretty sure I told him last time if he done it again he'd be out.... but I can't seen to say the words 'we're over' I just can't see what my life might be like without him I love him so much but I can't see how he loves me when he's away doing that. x

 

[ClaireMuir123]

I want to see him and for him to hug me and tell me it'll all be OK and forget the full thing. But on the other hand, the thought of him cuddling me and thinking he's got away with it makes me feel physically sick.

Our relationship in the beginning was great, hence the reason we had Jayden and got married. But since then it seems to have gone downhill. I don't know why. Maybe that's my fault, maybe it's his I don't know. What I do know is I've tried my damn hardest to keep my house in order, bring Jayden up the best way I can and be a good wife. Obviously my best is not good enough xxx

 

[CS_and_bump]

Claire im so sorry your feeling like this and having to go through all this aswell as problems with pregnancy.

When i had my first i was in the same situation i keep finding txt on his phone when i was pregnant and he treat me like shit, i kept going back because i didnt want ppl to think i was a faliure but believe me i had my little girl carried on and it didnt change. One day out of the blue i just left, i became a single parent and moved on. A year later i met someone new and 5 years after we are having a baby.

Even now the ex cant believe i was strong enough to leave let alone be happy again.

I hope your ok, sending you hugs and a good rant on here always makes u feel better x x x x x

 

[ClaireMuir123]

Thank you. I just can't imagine not being with him, it makes me tear up every time I do think about it. I want to him him, get him back, threaten to leave, but I know none of that will make a difference. Oh jeez, why is life so hard sometimes x

 

[Barbles]

Its a shit situation to be in babe. Does he see it as wrong or is he playing the 'its all innocent' card? Also is the girl messaging back flirty or is it one sided?

Urg Im so mad at him for you. I want to kick him.

You do definately need to talk this out with him. You obviously dont want to leave him so this situation needs to be sorted and he needs a good telling. Im afraid its going to have to be a case of this really is his last chance, he has got to know that he cant carry on with that sort of behaviour.

Lots of love xxxxxx

 

[CeeCee2010]

I so wish I could come give you a cuddle and chat over a cuppa with you hun. These things are never easy and it makes life seem incredibly hard when we have to go through them. If you truly want to sort this out and believe he can change his behaviour then thats amazing. If you don't think he'll change and you've had enough thats ok too. But you do need to talk things through with him and see where you go from here. It's not like the pregnancy has made him feel neglected cos he's done it before so he needs to thoroughly explain his actions and make sure that he comes clean and what he's been up to. You deserve that much hun XXX Lots of love and cuddles XXX

 

[ClaireMuir123]

He knows what he's done and hasn't even tried to defend himself knowing it was stupid. I let him know I'd found out by standing on the stairs and shouting 'just so you know you're sleeping on the fuckin couch!' then he said 'what?' and I said '(girls) fucking (name)?!' then stormed upstairs and he knew what he'd done.

She flirted back a few times but not as much as him. I just can't get my head round it! I wish you all could see what was said, you'll understand how mad I am (passed the upset stage now) I said to him I haven't made my mind up about whether I was going to be here when he gets in from football, I hope that really puts the shits up him.

I honestly don't know what I'd have done if I couldn't come and moan on here to you lot. xxxx

 

[CeeCee2010]

Its not moaning sunshine it's talking about something thats upsetting you and personally I feel privileged that you trust us to talk to us about it. I love the angry stage after the upset stage, things become a bit clearer me thinks!!

It's hard to get your head around something like this, especially if you wouldn't do it yourself. Big hugs hun XXX

 

[ClaireMuir123]

My back is killing me because I had to sweep up and start cleaning, I do it so much better when I'm angry but now I'm very sore so he's getting the blame for that aswell

I think he wants to forget the full thing but it's too raw, I don't even want to see him xxx

 

[CeeCee2010]

TBH hun its not something that you can just forget about and sweep under the carpet. He's hurt your feelings and he owes you an explanation as to why he's done this. Men eh? Don't you be doing too much young lady!! you be careful with your poorly back!! XXX

 

[ClaireMuir123]

I'll be alright ceecee, thank you. He's trying to make jokes and I'm sooo not in the mood for it. I'm shattered because I never slept most of the night and my heart is broken, and he wants to joke? No fuckin way matey, just try me x

 

[CeeCee2010]

Sorry hun, didn't mean to sound like a nag

Is there anywhere you could go for a few hours to get away from him until you've calmed down? X

 

[ClaireMuir123]

Oh no you weren't nagging I'm careful not to overdo it, but I get sore walking lol. I don't really have anywhere to go without anyone prying and being nosey wondering what's going on and I'm so not in the mood for that. So more than likely I'll make me and Jayden dinner for 4.30pm then I'll go upstairs when he comes in and he can spend his time with Jayden. I was going to go out but I have no money and nowhere to go.

God, how pathetic do I sound? No money, no friends and a husband who can't kept his dirty thoughts to himself. The only thing really keeping me going in the entire world right now is Jayden and my baby Noodles. xxx

 

[CeeCee2010]

You're not pathetic hun, not at all. Big hugs.

I cant understand his mentality in trying to make jokes though! Surely he can see that that isn't going to win you over at the moment! Men are muppets at times! xxx

 

[xxMichellexx]

Hello ladies, just thought i would show my face. Im extra busy at the minute, considering its meant to be my easter break aswell.

And my hormones are getting the better of me the past 2 days, i was on hold this morning for ten minutes and ended up crying, i felt like a fool, and i feel sorry for the boyfriend

xxxxxxx

 

[xxMichellexx]

Just read your posts about the hubby claire big hug xxx

 

[CeeCee2010]

Hello ladies, just thought i would show my face. Im extra busy at the minute, considering its meant to be my easter break aswell.

And my hormones are getting the better of me the past 2 days, i was on hold this morning for ten minutes and ended up crying, i felt like a fool, and i feel sorry for the boyfriend

xxxxxxx

I cried yesterday when there was no ssquash left in Asda in the flavour I wanted. Not tantrum kind of crying, just out of nowhere kind of crying lol. Hormones suck but it will pass XXX

 

[ClaireMuir123]

Thanks michelle. Totally with you on the crying, sometimes I just start crying just because! Lol, hormones eh? I think the most pathetic thing I've cried at is a man tying his shoe laces in asda, that was my last pregnancy though, this time I can't remember being anything specific. It'll pass soon xxx