A month of no baby talk to OH's

[Mrs Doddy]

can we talk about it if H brings it up tho - because then it is on their terms ???

 

[lionheartnz]

If they bring it up wanting to have a serious talk about it then I guess we should, but i think if its a passing comment it probably is best to leave it alone. Hopefully the more comments they make without us jumping in about it the more they realise they might want it. And it couldnt hurt for them to think we are a little more balance bout it

 

[Aveta]

yeah I was thinking the same. If my OH says something like 'I'm going to teach our kids to breakdance' then I'm not going to start a convo about having kids, I'm going to call him a nutter. But if he says (not that he ever does!) "do you think we should put aside this extra cash for when we have a baby?" I'm not going to say "Pffft, whatever"

I'm trying to be very careful when he makes comments about kids, and let him lead the conversation.

 

[lauraloo24]

sounds like a plan! no baby talk unless they bring the issue up seriously, and it's as if they really want to discuss it! So not likely to happen in my case but we'll see.

 

[Aveta]

Ok, I'm just going to do a list of who's taking part on the first post...so we can hold you to your word!

Hopefully some of us will have a positive outcome from this!

 

[lionheartnz]

hows everyone going?
still not a peep from me hehe

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Ive not said anything first, HOWEVER he has mentioned it 3 times this week not in a long conversation just a passing comment and I have replyed but this is good !!!!!!

He he I said to him that next year is going to be busy with his racing, sorting the house out and he said what else .............. I said saving to sort out the house he he he thought I was going to say about ttc !!!!!I didn't as it would break the not talking about it !!!! He knew I mean ttc even if I didn't say it lol

 

[lauraloo24]

I've been very good as well....and he's been bringing it up of his own accord! He was asking me if i'd want to know if i was having a girl or boy, or have it as a surprise. And yesterday we saw a friends baby who is getting so big & he said our baby will be like that (my OH is 6ft 6!!) He also said that he wouldnt be too disappointed if we had a girl.... which is good! Definitely not bringing it up is a good thing. xx

 

[Belgiansunset]

I still haven't said anything (6 days now) and it's quite nice because I don't feel like a nag and get disappointed when he says no. I do have to catch myself sometimes though, it's just on my mind so often it's hard not to say anything! We have a pregnant friend visiting at new year so the subject will probably come up anyway - but I'm not going to initiate it!

 

[MissPolley]

ill try it but ill probably fail XD

 

[Aveta]

LOL, I was going to come on and say that its amazing how many times OH talks about "when we have kids" and "our kids will..." !! I didnt see this coming. Its giving me some hope now, whereas before I was feeling like it was just me that wants kids. Now that i'm not talking about kids I guess I'm realizing how much he talks about them- its great!

 

[Lucy Lu]

Hi Aveta,

I just wanted to say you totally motivated me with this thread. I was nervous about posting because you'll see from my profile that we are TTC'ing already, so didn't want to get anyone's back up, because I know I am very lucky!!!!

This thread just really struck a chord with me though. OH wanted to start trying slightly before me but he is a very laid back person and always was of the attitude 'lets just see what happens'. I am completely the opposite and from the point we started TTC'ing, I turned into a total obsessive nutter!!! - totally diagnosing every twinge and ache as must be pregancy!!!!... Worried about missing out on any chance to bd in case we miss ov!... and I cannot stop talking about 'When we have a baby....'. He is getting fed up because he says it is putting too much pressure on and quite frankly just killing the whole thing a bit for him. It has got to the point where I can't bring it up anymore or he sighs and has a look to say 'Not again...'

I guess if I can recommend anything from my experience, it would be carry on being careful about how much you talk about it when you do start TTCing. Don't turn into moi!!!! I think he must be shrinking back when I go on, because it's pressure for them too if it takes some time to happen. Like you've all said already, it feels so special when they bring it up spontaneously - I have lost that feeling lately because he just doesn't get the opportunity to bring it up first!

Sorry for hijacking your thread with my rambling(!), but just feeling the need to download, think I will follow you guys' example!

Hope all your wishes come true v soon and you get to start trying for your little ones.

xxx

 

[Aveta]

Hi lucy lu, thanks for the tips! Us women tend to get a bit caught up in stuff don't we? I can't imagine how difficult it must be to try and keep quiet during the 2WW!

You are welcome to try and have a month of no baby talk with us if you want!

 

[Belgiansunset]

The longer I do this, the more sensible it seems. I've realised I was thinking and talking about babies so often it had turned into an obsession, and I'm enjoying taking a break and thinking about other things for a while. You can get so caught up in it otherwise, you almost forget who you are, and that there are lots of other things in your life apart from wanting children! I am up to 8 days without mentioning it now.

 

[luckyme225]

good luck girls!!!

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Its going well for me so far - a bit sad though that I can't share my excitment about this special thing to H but Lucy Lu is right

 

[lauraloo24]

The longer I do this, the more sensible it seems. I've realised I was thinking and talking about babies so often it had turned into an obsession, and I'm enjoying taking a break and thinking about other things for a while. You can get so caught up in it otherwise, you almost forget who you are, and that there are lots of other things in your life apart from wanting children! I am up to 8 days without mentioning it now.

Totally agree with you. I've calmed down a bit on my whole baby obsession as well, and feeling a lot better for it. Think OH is appreciating it also!! Getting on with my other goals as got a little while before we TTC yet.

 

[lionheartnz]

Im so glad that the christmas shopping is all done, I found my self wondering into the baby section more than id like to admit haha

Although I have definitely calmed down alot about it all tho

Merry Christmas

 

[Mrs Doddy]

I agree that I don't NEED to talk about it as much any more - and have calmed down alot.

 

[ozbutterfly]

I joined up in spirit when this started, but then I had the problem of my husband sending me an internet link to a site with prams... Oy. I don't think that counts, though, as I told him the one I like and haven't said anything about it since.