Been crying on and off all day today, for no real reason, but am having a hard time turning it around. Stupid bickering with my wife, she is having a hard time being supportive of me being emotional for no good reason and I feel like an emotional burden today. Waiting for my yoga class to start, hoping it will pull me out of whatever is bringing the tears. Sorry to be such a downer, thought writing it would help me feel better.
Accupuncture ladies-from TTC to BFP
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Ging - I totally get you! I have those emotional days too - it's very isolating being pregnant - you change so much physically and emotionally. Partners just don't understand because it's 24/7.
We all understand
hugs to you. Make sure you take your iron supplements - I think lack of it can bring you down emotionally. Better still eat a steak. In Chinese medicine it feeds the blood and emotions and mental state cannot be strong if blood is not strong.
Xxx
We all understand
hugs to you. Make sure you take your iron supplements - I think lack of it can bring you down emotionally. Better still eat a steak. In Chinese medicine it feeds the blood and emotions and mental state cannot be strong if blood is not strong. Xxx
Thanks jazzbird. Yoga helped a little. But the tears are still flowing and I don't want to go home. I wish I was emotionally stronger and not as sensitive as I am. Its not that my wife isn't supportive, because she is. She is just tired of the emotional ups and downs, and is running out of sympathy. I don't blame her, I'm tired of myself too. I do really try to cope better, but its a work in progress and some days are better than others. I will be OK, its just a day.
Thanks for the tip about iron. Turns out I was actually anemic at my last visit, so am trying to be better about food choices and iron supps.
Thanks for the tip about iron. Turns out I was actually anemic at my last visit, so am trying to be better about food choices and iron supps.
It is very tricky being pregnant - it puts a strain on a relationship. My o
OH and I had a big argument when I had nausea but had gone back to work and was struggling through the day. I felt so unwell and was dragging myself for four hours a day on the train - sometimes without a seat. OH just didn't have that much sympathy as he is still unwell from his op in July last year. He said he had nothing left to give. It was a really unsupportive thing to say. Now I'm not working because I can't find work that isn't 4 hours commute away and he is jealous of my being at home despite the fact that I am still paying half for everything (the nature of being a contractor means I draw money from my company that I've saved even when I'm not working). He also expects me to keep house etc, which I do but picks holes in it which drives me mad.
I think pregnancy and children really test a relationship. It will show us all the cracks but also the very best aspects all at once. There's also a feeling of no going back with children that adds a permanence to a relationship that no other action does. That's stressful too. No one likes to feel trapped.
Your sensitivity I bet makes you a wonderful partner and will make you a wonderful mother. I am a highly sensitive person (have you read about this?) and at times it feels like such a burden feeling everything so acutely but it is a gift because you can truly empathise with a stranger and you have the power to therefore help other people in such a profound way. You must never wish this beautiful quality away.
Get thee to a steakhouse immediately feed your blood! I always feel great after a nice steak. It's very important to keep eating blood forming (loosely translated as iron rich foods). Red meat is the most bountiful source (you have to eat so much spinach to equal it). In chinese medicine the Shen or spirit is said to rest in the blood. When the blood is deficient or weak the spirit weakens and gives way to anxiety, insomnia, palpitations, depression etc. it is why women get post natal depression through loss of blood through pregnancy (very blood draining), childbirth (actual physical loss) and breast feeding (it is said that human milk is like blood in chinese medicine). So you must feed your blood it is very important.
Hugs to you Ging, it will get better. It is tough growing another human no matter how natural it is. Do you have any pregnant friends? I gave one who is in same stage as me and find it so helpful to chat through issues together.
OH and I had a big argument when I had nausea but had gone back to work and was struggling through the day. I felt so unwell and was dragging myself for four hours a day on the train - sometimes without a seat. OH just didn't have that much sympathy as he is still unwell from his op in July last year. He said he had nothing left to give. It was a really unsupportive thing to say. Now I'm not working because I can't find work that isn't 4 hours commute away and he is jealous of my being at home despite the fact that I am still paying half for everything (the nature of being a contractor means I draw money from my company that I've saved even when I'm not working). He also expects me to keep house etc, which I do but picks holes in it which drives me mad.
I think pregnancy and children really test a relationship. It will show us all the cracks but also the very best aspects all at once. There's also a feeling of no going back with children that adds a permanence to a relationship that no other action does. That's stressful too. No one likes to feel trapped.
Your sensitivity I bet makes you a wonderful partner and will make you a wonderful mother. I am a highly sensitive person (have you read about this?) and at times it feels like such a burden feeling everything so acutely but it is a gift because you can truly empathise with a stranger and you have the power to therefore help other people in such a profound way. You must never wish this beautiful quality away.
Get thee to a steakhouse immediately
feed your blood! I always feel great after a nice steak. It's very important to keep eating blood forming (loosely translated as iron rich foods). Red meat is the most bountiful source (you have to eat so much spinach to equal it). In chinese medicine the Shen or spirit is said to rest in the blood. When the blood is deficient or weak the spirit weakens and gives way to anxiety, insomnia, palpitations, depression etc. it is why women get post natal depression through loss of blood through pregnancy (very blood draining), childbirth (actual physical loss) and breast feeding (it is said that human milk is like blood in chinese medicine). So you must feed your blood it is very important. Hugs to you Ging, it will get better. It is tough growing another human no matter how natural it is. Do you have any pregnant friends? I gave one who is in same stage as me and find it so helpful to chat through issues together.
Jazzbird- Thank you for your wonderfully kind words! I feel much better today. It's helpful to know I'm not alone even when sometimes it feels that way. I think yesterday I was trying to keep my emotions to myself because I didn't want to further burden my wife, which ultimately backfired and I couldn't shake it until I talked about it. I feel much better today. Thank you! You girls are the best!
Ging: I'm glad to read that you are doing better today. Every day is different for me as well. Lately I've been very moody. Not sad, but just pissy and angry; especially at work! Not sure if it's works stress or just my hormones, but I think in this case, it's more likely have to do with work stress. I CAN NOT wait to quit! During these times, I think it's good to be open with our partners, regardless of how much of burden we think we're being.
AFM: Had my 10 week scan with my RE and officially graduated today!
Baby was moving around like crazy; we even saw his/her digits and cute little nose. Very cute. I'll miss my weekly scans, because it's been amazing to see how much the baby grows every week. Hematoma is still there (it takes many weeks to resolve), but is getting pushed out of the way by the growing baby and it's clotting more. The placenta is on the opposite side of the hematoma, which is really good. Hopefully it should be totally resolved within the next month or so.
AFM: Had my 10 week scan with my RE and officially graduated today!
Baby was moving around like crazy; we even saw his/her digits and cute little nose. Very cute. I'll miss my weekly scans, because it's been amazing to see how much the baby grows every week. Hematoma is still there (it takes many weeks to resolve), but is getting pushed out of the way by the growing baby and it's clotting more. The placenta is on the opposite side of the hematoma, which is really good. Hopefully it should be totally resolved within the next month or so.Forgot to mention. My neighbor came by last night to show her new baby; only a few weeks old. It was so great to hold a newborn. Such a sweet, little thing! Of course, for some reason I know every person with a pregnancy horror story and hers was no exception. Apparently a week after delivery she started bleeding profusely. She had to call the ambulance in the middle of the night and couldn't walk. They took her to the hospital where she bled 3 liters of blood and her heart stopped! They revived her and did surgery. Come to find out, they left part of the placenta in her after the c-section!!! She was in the hospital for a week while someone else cared for her baby (she has no husband). Poor thing!!
So, note to self, make sure they get everything out after the delivery.
So, note to self, make sure they get everything out after the delivery.
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Oh my Gosh Ging don't be so hard on your self. It is so hard ona a person being pregnant I don't OHs can understand the over the top amount of hormones. Its just crazy! PMS is not even in the same universe. I tried to explain it to my sister as PMS times a million, plus I hated men lol poor dh.
Melly - yay! So happy for you. What a relief
Ging glad you are feeling better. It comes to us all.
Birth horror stories are something I am trying to avoid as I'm getting close now. Only 8 weeks to go. Can't believe it! I really am trying to think positively that it will be ok. And it will planning to have her at home now but I only live one mike from the hospital so hopefully if catastrophe does strike I'll be able to get there quickly.
Xxx
Ging glad you are feeling better. It comes to us all.
Birth horror stories are something I am trying to avoid as I'm getting close now. Only 8 weeks to go. Can't believe it! I really am trying to think positively that it will be ok. And it will
planning to have her at home now but I only live one mike from the hospital so hopefully if catastrophe does strike I'll be able to get there quickly.Xxx
Jazz: That's so awesome that you're having her at home. I would love to do the same, but my insurance won't pay for that. The best I can do is a midwife at a birthing center. Wow. I can't believe it's only 8 weeks away!
Sorry for my horror stories. Everything will go great! I try to keep myself aware of what could possibly happen, so that I'm more prepared; however, I'm probably one of those is a glutton for bad stories so I can worry myself to death. That said, you're probably much better off having a baby at home with a good midwife than in a hurried hospital setting. I'm a big proponent of letting nature do it's job.
Sorry for my horror stories. Everything will go great! I try to keep myself aware of what could possibly happen, so that I'm more prepared; however, I'm probably one of those is a glutton for bad stories so I can worry myself to death. That said, you're probably much better off having a baby at home with a good midwife than in a hurried hospital setting. I'm a big proponent of letting nature do it's job.
BBbliss
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Ging, so glad you feel better, please know its all totally normal, Jazz had such wise words for you, she's absolutely right, this only proves your sensitivity but also know it has nothing to do with being strong, NOTHING! I'm highly sensitive and I'm a cryer too, exactly as Jazz put it, it makes you a more sympathetic and compassionate person. Accept the moment as a moment, like a wave it will wash over you and leave you... Until the next one hits. Tell your wife not to take it personally and know its out of your control, it's just hormones 
Jazz, what a beautiful birth plan, I hope all goes as planned
Melly, congrats! Great milestone for you and baby! You must be so happy
Try, you are right, once you have your child that becomes your center and purpose, it does change how you see your own parents.
Breaking, congratulations on 12 wks yay! And good luck with the announcement, I hear you with the MIL, I have two of them LOL
On Mothers, parents and MILs, my mother is more like Try's then Jazz's and I always envied people with moms who were more caring and involved, but all I know now is that we all have what we have and in the end "mothers" could turn out to be our greatest teachers, if not for what the teach, for the opportunity they give us to learn our own lessons. It takes more then just patience, it takes being vigilant and attentive to our own feelings about them, I love my mother so much but I have to accept her ways and limitations. I just hope I can work things out with my DDand her anger issues so she doesn't carry them with her into her adult years, I also know we all have free will and people have their own paths to choose.
Jazz, what a beautiful birth plan, I hope all goes as planned
Melly, congrats! Great milestone for you and baby! You must be so happy
Try, you are right, once you have your child that becomes your center and purpose, it does change how you see your own parents.
Breaking, congratulations on 12 wks yay! And good luck with the announcement, I hear you with the MIL, I have two of them LOL
On Mothers, parents and MILs, my mother is more like Try's then Jazz's and I always envied people with moms who were more caring and involved, but all I know now is that we all have what we have and in the end "mothers" could turn out to be our greatest teachers, if not for what the teach, for the opportunity they give us to learn our own lessons. It takes more then just patience, it takes being vigilant and attentive to our own feelings about them, I love my mother so much but I have to accept her ways and limitations. I just hope I can work things out with my DDand her anger issues so she doesn't carry them with her into her adult years, I also know we all have free will and people have their own paths to choose.
Breaking Dawn and Melly2: congrats on your milestones! That's huge! So great. You must feel so happy and relieved.
Gingmg: I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, though sorry to hear you had that sadness at all. Those bloody hormones do a number on us. Totally normal, not that that makes it any easier. I've dealt with depression for many years (meds+psychiatrist) and had a major depressive episode throughout my last pregnancy. I am not being dramatic when I say I almost didn't survive it. DH almost hauled me off to the ER on several occasions. My saving grace was the fact that I had to stay alive in order to keep my baby alive. Pregnancy and birth can take you to some scary precipices. I wish I had something helpful to say... Hopefully this is a transient thing but if you notice any patterns do mention it to your MW or dr. I think if I had accepted help I wouldn't have slipped as far as I did.
Jazz: pregnancy, birth, ppartum are indeed tough on relationships, but they also strengthen them in unexpected ways as well. That's been my experience, at least. Nobody but you and your partner can come close to understanding the exact "brand" of fierce love and pride you feel for your child and that binds you in a way that can't quite be explained, only felt. You'll see what I mean. I get excited thinking of you all who get to experience it for the first time!
AFM: my baby shower went off without a hitch. I was half dreading it but it was truly lovely. My MIL went all out and I felt really loved and supported. My mum has since emailed and didn't refer to my email or her silence at all--just said she and my father love me (they hardly ever say that) and mentioned flying out when the baby comes. I'm perplexed, not sure how to respond, and super annoyed she's ignoring everything. I despise phoniness though I agree, it's easier.
Time for a little TMI whine... My hemmorhoids are HORRIBLE. Like bad enough that I wonder whether I'll ever return to normal! It feels like I've been sliced open and had salt pressed into the wound. Ugh. No amount of Sitz baths and prescription ointment etc seems to help. Anyone know of any lesser-known miracle cures? I know my dr. will just tell me to suck it up (in not so many words).
Bbbliss: glad to know others have similar mother/parent problems!
Oh, and just take those birth horror stories with a grain of salt. Women parade them like badges of honour (I've read there is a biological need for women to share their birth stories) but like anything, you always remember the bad ones. And consider the teller--I consider my last birth to have been "traumatic" (for me at least) but my OB refers to it as "relatively normal." It's always far worse for the person experiencing it and that will affect the telling. Birth is raw and grisly and beautiful. I'm sure you will bear your experiences--good, bad or ugly--proudly. And then OTHER women will make a note of the worst aspects and remember THOSE! Vicious cycle. Try not to think about it. For every "bad" birth there are plenty of easy ones that you just don't hear about.
Gingmg: I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, though sorry to hear you had that sadness at all. Those bloody hormones do a number on us. Totally normal, not that that makes it any easier. I've dealt with depression for many years (meds+psychiatrist) and had a major depressive episode throughout my last pregnancy. I am not being dramatic when I say I almost didn't survive it. DH almost hauled me off to the ER on several occasions. My saving grace was the fact that I had to stay alive in order to keep my baby alive. Pregnancy and birth can take you to some scary precipices. I wish I had something helpful to say... Hopefully this is a transient thing but if you notice any patterns do mention it to your MW or dr. I think if I had accepted help I wouldn't have slipped as far as I did.
Jazz: pregnancy, birth, ppartum are indeed tough on relationships, but they also strengthen them in unexpected ways as well. That's been my experience, at least. Nobody but you and your partner can come close to understanding the exact "brand" of fierce love and pride you feel for your child and that binds you in a way that can't quite be explained, only felt. You'll see what I mean. I get excited thinking of you all who get to experience it for the first time!
AFM: my baby shower went off without a hitch. I was half dreading it but it was truly lovely. My MIL went all out and I felt really loved and supported. My mum has since emailed and didn't refer to my email or her silence at all--just said she and my father love me (they hardly ever say that) and mentioned flying out when the baby comes. I'm perplexed, not sure how to respond, and super annoyed she's ignoring everything. I despise phoniness though I agree, it's easier.
Time for a little TMI whine... My hemmorhoids are HORRIBLE. Like bad enough that I wonder whether I'll ever return to normal! It feels like I've been sliced open and had salt pressed into the wound. Ugh. No amount of Sitz baths and prescription ointment etc seems to help. Anyone know of any lesser-known miracle cures? I know my dr. will just tell me to suck it up (in not so many words).
Bbbliss: glad to know others have similar mother/parent problems!
Oh, and just take those birth horror stories with a grain of salt. Women parade them like badges of honour (I've read there is a biological need for women to share their birth stories) but like anything, you always remember the bad ones. And consider the teller--I consider my last birth to have been "traumatic" (for me at least) but my OB refers to it as "relatively normal." It's always far worse for the person experiencing it and that will affect the telling. Birth is raw and grisly and beautiful. I'm sure you will bear your experiences--good, bad or ugly--proudly. And then OTHER women will make a note of the worst aspects and remember THOSE! Vicious cycle. Try not to think about it. For every "bad" birth there are plenty of easy ones that you just don't hear about.
Does anyone think I'm mad for attempting a home birth? I'm terrified of the pain and I can't get an epidural at home although I hopefully can if I transfer. A friend today warned me to go for the epidural - perhaps I've been reading too much hippy stuff but I feel that a hospital will scare me and doesn't feel like a natural place with loud noise, strangers, bright lights and frightening equipment everywhere. I really want minimal intervention and to avoid excessive monitoring but then I'm terrified of the birth too.
What do the mums say?! I'd love to hear your thoughts. I think my pain threshold is very low!
What do the mums say?! I'd love to hear your thoughts. I think my pain threshold is very low!
Jazz: I think it's AWESOME that you're having a home birth, and I am envious. I would suggest a great book I'm currently reading called "Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth". She's a world renowned midwife, and has great, great advice on how to handle natural childbirth. I love this book and has renewed my view on the beauty of natural birth and what a truly amazing experience it can be. After reading this book, I'm much more terrified to have the baby in the hospital, to be honest, but that's the only way my insurance will pay for it. :-/ Of course, it must be noted, I have never given birth before so this is all new to me.
I have just borrowed that book! Thanks Melly. I am going to start reading it after tmrw when my gig is over.
I also bought a natal hypnotherapy book and cd so will be using that daily too. I've got to put in some serious yoga practice too to learn all the best moves and positions.
I'm the only one in my birthing class considering it at home and it does make me wonder if I'm being a bit crazy. In uk out healthcare system is national so I get 2 midwifes at my house. If I have to go to hospital they come with me. But the healthcare system is so stretched that they try to speed labour up to free up the beds and you are often left alone as midwifes rush from one woman to the next. That's primarily why I feel home would be better. I think I would be more relaxed which is supposed to help with the release of hormones etc.
But I might regret it. Tough decision to make!
I also bought a natal hypnotherapy book and cd so will be using that daily too. I've got to put in some serious yoga practice too to learn all the best moves and positions.
I'm the only one in my birthing class considering it at home and it does make me wonder if I'm being a bit crazy. In uk out healthcare system is national so I get 2 midwifes at my house. If I have to go to hospital they come with me. But the healthcare system is so stretched that they try to speed labour up to free up the beds and you are often left alone as midwifes rush from one woman to the next. That's primarily why I feel home would be better. I think I would be more relaxed which is supposed to help with the release of hormones etc.
But I might regret it. Tough decision to make!
Breaking Dawn
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Morning ladies!
I'm off work today..yay! I've got my ultrasound and NT in a couple hours. I'm feeling nervous...i hope the baby is growing strong and our results are positive. I cannot wait to see the little bean again!!!!
Jazz....i think it's great you are doing a home birth. I'm too scared to try that....but then again I've done no reading or research so perhaps I do have the guts to do it! I do like the idea of birthing Centre rather than maternity ward in a hospital.
Melly...great news on the ultrasound..yay!!
Ging...hugs..ive had sad days too...but just let it happen and know once it passes I'll feel better
I'm off work today..yay! I've got my ultrasound and NT in a couple hours. I'm feeling nervous...i hope the baby is growing strong and our results are positive. I cannot wait to see the little bean again!!!!
Jazz....i think it's great you are doing a home birth. I'm too scared to try that....but then again I've done no reading or research so perhaps I do have the guts to do it! I do like the idea of birthing Centre rather than maternity ward in a hospital.
Melly...great news on the ultrasound..yay!!
Ging...hugs..ive had sad days too...but just let it happen and know once it passes I'll feel better
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Do they put a catheter in for the epidural? I HATE those things. I had CS. I hated all the disruption in the hospital. Also there is no place to get away when you are trying breast feed everyone is barging in even your in laws. Then my dh is looking at me like i am trying to show off my boobs or something 
I am thinkning would all you people just get the f-ck out of my room! So instead of saying i tI went to the bathroom and cried. I would say a home birth would have more advantages over the hospital birth. We got our birth certificates and hearing testing done while we were there. So you wouild need to plan how to get that stuff done with home birth.
I am thinkning would all you people just get the f-ck out of my room! So instead of saying i tI went to the bathroom and cried. I would say a home birth would have more advantages over the hospital birth. We got our birth certificates and hearing testing done while we were there. So you wouild need to plan how to get that stuff done with home birth.Similar threads
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