Adoption journey

[helloeveryone]

That's exciting news xxx

 

[tommyg]

Deleted post - Found out the answer

 

[dreamofabean]

Gosh it's quiet in here!
How is everyone??
All is good here. We are being assessed again for a sibling for E so things are busy! The bedroom is all decorated so e can get used to the idea a baby is coming!
He keeps saying he wants a baby boy, and our la always have more boys than girls so I think his wish will be granted! lol
Can't believe my little man starts school nursery in September; it's frightening where the time goes! He's such a funny little man, really keeps us on our toes! Hee hee.
Hope everyone is well x

 

[silverbell]

We're still waiting for a match, nearly 8 months on.

We've been sent a letter inviting us to a meeting with other approved adopters to discuss how we're all feeling with the wait and what things we can do whilst we're waiting.

I'm glad things are moving well for some of you at the moment.

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh silver bell how frustrating for you Hun. We have friends in Liverpool who have been approved for 12 months and still waiting. Have they given any reason why you've been waiting so long?
Hugs hun! I remember how tortuous the wait can be, I'm sure we will have the same in a few months time :/

 

[silverbell]

Oh silver bell how frustrating for you Hun. We have friends in Liverpool who have been approved for 12 months and still waiting. Have they given any reason why you've been waiting so long?
Hugs hun! I remember how tortuous the wait can be, I'm sure we will have the same in a few months time :/

They've told us it's a national problem - too many adopters and not enough children. All due to that Court case a few years back where a Judge stated that adoption should be the very last resort, which lead to a lot of Social Workers doing everything they could to avoid adoption for children. So there's a lack of children all over the UK. Which is good for the children but not good for those of us waiting (and of course the danger is that some children are left with inadequate parenting for even longer before they finally decide adoption is the last option available).

That's what we were told anyway.

I'm just so over the waiting. We've been "waiting" for a child for almost 6 years now (when we started TTC). Just feel like we're always waiting.

 

[dreamofabean]

I can imagine, it's the worse part of the whole journey by far. Yeah it's a national issue, but even so, you've waited a long time! I hope they are now looking nationally for you?!
It really upsets me as they don't grant placement orders for these children, yet they're not returned to birth families either. Just have more children sitting in foster care when they could be with their forever families!
Our la have said they're one of the few authorities that still have more children than adopters, but I'm still expecting a long wait for a match.
Really hope you find your lo soon Hun x

 

[Axl2]

Hey all, so our social worker is just finishing up our report. So hopefully we will have it by the middle of this month and hopefully we are approved. It a lot of waiting with the adoption process. We were told that once approved that our profile wouldn't be shown for a whole year unless the birth parents are from our area. We were also told there's a lot of adopters and not a lot of babies being put up for adoption.

I hope the wait isn't long for you silverbell and dreamsofabean!

Good luck to everyone!!!

 

[dreamofabean]

Where abouts are you from axl2? Our la waits 3 months and then looks nationally. The wait is so frustrating isn't it?! Have you got a panel date yet? Ours is 30th June x

 

[Axl2]

I'm in Canada the rules are a lot different here they can't even look in another province. So the wait is long here. Average wait time is 2-3 years, but I'm hoping its not that long cause we are early 30's and no kids.

I'm not sure what a panel is lol. Is it like a seminar?

 

[silverbell]

I can imagine, it's the worse part of the whole journey by far. Yeah it's a national issue, but even so, you've waited a long time! I hope they are now looking nationally for you?!

Yes, we're on the National Register and they are looking nationally apparently. We're also checking "Adoption Link" daily where they list children. We've had over 10 rejections. It's just very difficult not being able to plan anything. They tell you to 'carry on as normal' but of course you can't do this too far ahead because you may or may not be with a child. Very frustrating and the waiting honestly just feels like an extension of all the TTCing and is wearing us down I think.

Hey all, so our social worker is just finishing up our report. So hopefully we will have it by the middle of this month and hopefully we are approved. It a lot of waiting with the adoption process. We were told that once approved that our profile wouldn't be shown for a whole year unless the birth parents are from our area. We were also told there's a lot of adopters and not a lot of babies being put up for adoption.

I hope the wait isn't long for you silverbell and dreamsofabean!

Good luck to everyone!!!

Thank you very much, Axl2. I hope you hear you're approved very soon and I also hope that you're not waiting as long as that and that you're the perfect parents for a child very quickly.

 

[puppymom32]

Hey ladies hope all is well have not been on in ages going to have to read back to see how everyone is doing. My sweet boy got to meet his birth mom last week while we were on vacation he is 5. It went much better than I had anticipated. This year when we celebrated his happy adoption day he had a lot more question but overall we are doing great.

 

[Axl2]

So a little update we found out that we are approved and now on the waiting list we are super excited. Now we wait to be placed.

 

[dreamofabean]

Ooh congrats axl! Any idea how long the usual wait is? I know it can really vary!
We are just going with the flow here. Have a date for approval panel (all being well) so we just wait! Need to complete the photos for our family book but that's about it. It's all very strange this time as we've only had a few Sw visits, doesn't feel real. I'm sure it will once we're at panel and waiting for a match!
I've had a tough few days with lo, he's been an absolute monster! It seems the threes may be more terrible than the 2s for him :/

 

[Axl2]

The average wait is anywhere from 2-3 years, but I've heard of people being placed 6 months after being approved. We have to re-do our photos they need to be bigger.

Yeah I threes are worse then the 2s lol. I'm sure once your matched it will hit you. How long does it take to be matched?

 

[dreamofabean]

OH fingers crossed its a short wait!!
It can really vary here. With lo we were approved in June and then given his details in August. He came home in the December. People are generally waiting longer now than a few years back so it's a case of just wait and see x

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi everyone!! Long time no post... Life has taken over and my two keep me crazy busy! I wouldn't change a thing of course...!

Nice to hear of everyone's progress! Loads going on for you all. Puppymom that sounds like a very emotional meeting for everyone, I'm glad it went as well as it could have done. Your boy sounds to be coping well, asking questions and showing interest is really healthy. Nice to hear from you!

SB I'm sorry you are still waiting. In mine and Dreams day it was a lot faster, the change in the court system has really impacted by the sounds. I know a few waiting like this and suddenly it's all happened so fast, I will keep the faith that this will happen and then your story will all finally make sense to you and hubby

Axl, I hope your wait is a short one too! Congratulations on your approval, great news!!

Dream I hope today is a better day, it's horrible when they go through these cycles. Hope you're nearly out the other side. Little pink will sort him out in June otherwise ;-)

We are good. Little pink is 3 and a half and crazily clever and independent! So far we are having no adoption related issues that I can see. She has a good mix of adopted and non adopted friends and knows the basics of her life story (which she proudly tells anyone who will listen...! Probably need a chat about 'need to know'! Bless her!) We apply for schools this year and although she gets a priority place we will probably stick with our catchment school, we have to consider little man the year after of course. But the school is good, our niece has done well there, her nursery provides the breakfast and holiday club and best of all I just found out the SENCO is adopting through our adoption agency!! So it all works well

Little man is two next month! Crazy stuff! He's tiny still but a healthy ball of energy and another bright spark, just love him to bits! The kids look scarily alike and it's so funny when people comment! They get on well and other than the usual sibling squabbles they really can't be without each other. Funny how it all works out in the end.

Hugs to all still walking this journey xxx

 

[Axl2]

OH fingers crossed its a short wait!!
It can really vary here. With lo we were approved in June and then given his details in August. He came home in the December. People are generally waiting longer now than a few years back so it's a case of just wait and see x

Yeah that the same here I guess every year the numbers are going down. I hope the wait isn't long for you!!

 

[tommyg]

Hi Ladies just popping in to say thanks again for the advice given to me about 18mths ago when my BIL & wife were approved to adopt. I wanted to know when and how do I tell my DS, who was 4 at the time.
The advice given was to get him used to the idea of adoption using films & books and not mention that it may happen in the family until after matching.

I have used The Good Dinosaur using Spot who lost his family had an adventure with dinosaur then found a new family, along with various other films that were mentioned. Last night sat DS down, reminded him of Spot and said "Guess what? auntie & uncle have adopted a little boy" he is really excited and keen to meet him and has totally accepted it without question.
Thanks again for your help, without you I wouldn't have had a clue how to tell DS.

 

[Srbjbex]

Hi tommy!! :wave:

So pleased to hear things have gone well in the end with your BILs adoption, I know it wasn't a smooth journey for them! I bet your son is super excited about his new cousin!