Adoption journey

[Butterfly67]

Thanks Loski yes I guess they try and prepare you for the worst

There is no reason why they won't like you and they have already said that she is a match so try not to worry too much although i can understand it must be nerve wracking

 

[Milty]

BF they do the same thing here...I almost warned you about it.

What they are trying to do is weed out the people who start the process but will most likely quit and not go through with it. Those that kinda change their minds often can cost them $$ as they go just to have them quit.

I will add more once I'm off work...

 

[Lolly1985]

Its exactly as Loski and Milty have said... they give worst case scenario so that they can see how committed you are, determine whether you are strong enough, so that you don't quit half way through, so there are no 'surprises' etc etc. I can see the sense, but I think that they should also encourage the many many positives. Yes there may be medical issues, there may be with a birth child, yes there can be behavioural issues, there can be with a birth child, there can be challenging times, there can be with a birth child. I understand that they may stem from different things and have to be tackled differently, but there are never guarentees with anything. Children should not be catagorised and reading my post I have put a lot of 'can' and 'mays' It uis not set in stone and you will discuss with a SW what you think you could and couldn't handle. Do not feel you ought to agree with a more complex child than you feel able, it would do no one any good.

They are also very interested in finding people for 'hard to place' children, children with SEN, sibling groups or those who are older. There are more in the care system and so they have to encourage adopters to consider. This does not mean that there are not younger children or healthy children waiting. Most of those I have spoken to on different forums have adopted children under 2, and when we went to an open evening with VA they said that times are changing and younger children are now being placed more frequently.

I am off to read your journal. Don't be afraid to approach different agencies if you are not happy

Loski, they will love you! It must be so scary, waiting and letting it build in your mind, but I have no doubt you will be back here next week posting lots of and !!!!

 

[Butterfly67]

Thanks ladies, what you say makes a lot of sense. I think I will sleep on it for a few days but I feel sure I will put in the application once my mind is settled

 

[Loski83]

Well tomorrow is the day we meet lo's social worker and I am so nervous. We have scrubbed the house, painted kitchen, bought new curtains,cushions and rug and stressed for the last three days now just worrying lol.
I think the thing that's making me panic is we don't have a clue what is happening tomorrow we don't even know what time she is arriving anyway rant over and we will just see what tomorrow brings.
I hope everyone has had a good weekend and not been stressed like us and that everyone is moving along in this crazy world of adoption xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Good luck Loski, am sure all will be fine, was just thinking that you have a big day tomorrow

 

[Loski83]

Today was fantastic we are feeling so happy. The child's sw and family finder came about 12 and left about half 2. They really like us and we are onto the next stage. We are going to the child's foster home on Tuesday and will get to speak to foster carers child won't be there but we will get to see where she sleeps and find out a lot more about her I can't wait till Tuesday lol.
So back to today they met us all and spoke to the boys and asked them questions about why they want a sister and not a brother and their views about different scenarios like being woke up at 4 am. They looked around the house and they love her bedroom which is what I was worried about. They then spoke about letterbox contact and what the process will be for introductions and meeting birth mother. I put lunch on for them which they where really surprised about and said never happens and they where hungry so worked out well I thought they wouldn't want food just did it to cover all bases. I'm rambling so will shut up now lol xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Brilliant!

 

[puppymom32]

Thats awesome hun but we all knew they would love you.

 

[Lyns]

Fab news Loski......sounds like it's going great for you!

We have a potential link, although I'm trying not to get too excited as I know there is also another family under consideration. He's a little boy of 2.5 and looks adorable, with no major issues. He's been in care since 4 months (long story but he was part of a much larger sibling group - massive in fact) so the red tape has tied him up in the system for far longer than it should have.

We have our meeting wth social workers tomorrow.....fingers crossed!!

 

[Loski83]

Lyns it sounds like its going great for you as well congratulations on possible link, it's all so unbelievable when it starts coming together and you can almost see the end of this journey xx

 

[Lolly1985]

So so pleased for you Loski, what an amazing day You must feel overwhelmingly happy, and we are all happy for you!! Roll on meeting the FC Every day you are a step closer to having your baby girl and being a mummy xxx

Masses of luck Lyns

Hi to everyone else xxxxx

 

[zero7]

Wow Loski and Lyns- lovely to see things moving forward for you both!! Good luck my lovelies!!

We have been shortlisted (one of four couples) for a very young child. A girl. That is all we know at this stage and we wont find out if we have made it to the final shortlisting (whittled down to two couples) until the 10th of August. Gulp!!!!! If we do, this is when we get to see the childs profile. I feel a bit up against it though- one of four couples!!!!!

I will keep you all updated......

Hi to everyone else XX


Lou XX

 

[Loski83]

Wow zero that sounds exciting and scary, good luck for the 10th. It's strange how different each area do things, luckily we are the only ones in for our little one. Hopefully by the end of this month we will all be closer to getting our babies x

 

[Lyns]

Fab news Zero.......it shows things are moving for you....it won't be long, I'm sure, whether it's this little one or another xx I am a massive believer of 'if it's meant to be....it will be' on this journey, and I really think your little one is close!

Our meeting with the sw's and family finder went amazingly well, and I think we would be incredibly happy to have this little boy join our family. He is adorable . But....we are still one of 2 couples and whilst I can honestly say, the meeting went brilliantly in all aspects, and I know the sw's were very happy, we still don't know anything about the other family, so we may, to all intents and purposes, still be in second place, although I quietly think if they could be any more ideal then us, then we must be up against Brad and Angelina!

But......it's holiday time and we now have a 4 week wait to find out We will meet the foster carers in that time, but I think this is going to be the longest few weeks of our lives!! Thank god I have a nice cushy business trip to LA mid August to keep me distracted! xx

 

[Loski83]

Just about to go pick up train tickets for Tuesday feeling really excited for Tuesday now, hope everyone has a good weekend x

 

[Loski83]

Well I don't think I will sleep tonight feeling really nervous and excited at the same time. Really hope the foster carers are nice and that we all get on ok. Will update tomorrow if I'm not too tired speak to you all soon xx

 

[twinkle458]

Good luck for tomorrow Loski xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

Good luck for tomorrow Loski, how exciting

 

[Lyns]

Aww Loski, hope all your dreams come true tomorrow xxx