Adoption journey

[Rainy123]

Will be thinking of you tomorrow dream

 

[dreamofabean]

Thanks lolly and rainy just wanna know now! Will update ASAP tomorrow xx

 

[Loski83]

Dream good luck for tomorrow hope they don't take long to call you.
Rainy sorry your having to do a lot of waiting hope they start speeding up for you.
Lola good luck for today I'm sure they will do what is best for baby.
Lolly your going to need a bigger house lol.
Hope everyone else is ok there's too many to do individual messages lol.
It's a year tomorrow since we met our beautiful little monkey, sitting there so well behaved in foster carers house. How they change in a year is crazy. I'm sure I love her a little bit more everyday as well couldn't live without her now. I'm a crazy mammy in love and she's so loving back which is cool.

 

[dreamofabean]

Wow that year has passed so quickly loski!! I bet it feels so strange looking back on your time before LO now! X

 

[Loski83]

It does its all I've thought about today, our lives have changed so much for the better.

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Dream I'll be thinking of you sweetheart

 

[AndreaFlorida]

My story is as follows:

We finally have diagnosis for the girls....its scary very very scary....they have autism. One with autism is hard enough...but TWO....I'm terrified but me and DH can do this!! We can....we have to. It's all about the babies! We love them so much....I am so glad we have some kind of answers.....

My DD that is 6 we took her for a urine culture today and urinalysis....not even 2 hours later I get a call from her doctor with terrible news. Her urine is almost septic. She is on Batrim for 10 days 2 times a day to try and clear up her kidneys and she has an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. I'm praying we don't get anymore bad news I don't know what will happen if something is terribly wrong. I am so saddened. I've been crying all day...
She hasn't told us it hurts to pee or anything and I've asked her I don't know how many times I just noticed she had an "odor" that was awful and wouldn't go away....
I also had a talk with the doctor and told him we would like to check since the adoptions agency doesn't check to see if H may have been molested as a child. She has had SO many UTI's I've found documentation of at least 10 instances where she had something wrong down there.....it bothers me and it would honestly take a load and weight off of my shoulders. She came from a family who honestly had the IQ's of 9 year olds....it is so scary not knowing ladies if you would please keep our family in your prayers. So in 2 weeks we have another check up for her urine and to check for any kind of signs of abuse. I am so so scared That is the scary part of adoptions...the unknowns....We don't know what any of our children/babies have gone through and its the scariest feeling in the entire world.

I'll be praying for all of you to find healthy bundles of joy/children soon!! We can only go UP from here!!! love you ladies!!!!!!!!!

 

[Loski83]

Andrea I really hope you get good news and that she isn't in any pain. They are so lucky to have you's to support them through everything.

 

[LolaM]

Oh dream, poor thing :'( I understand though, at one point I was popping the kalms like smarties!! Big hugs xxx

In that case Lola it all seems a bit odd. Good luck and let us know.

doesnt it??? We are marching ahead with court dates, next one is the big one, all day court in November, day after thanksgiving, which means i cant go black Friday shopping. Im bummed, was looking forward to scoring some big deals on stuff for baby boy.

 

[AndreaFlorida]

We have the ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday....my poor baby girl I'm praying this explains why she wets herself constantly She will be 7 in January...she just started this wetting phase when she got the weird smell in her urine....she didn't feel the pain Apparently with autism and their sensory processing disorder she doesn't feel pain at all like we do. It takes a LOT for her to hurt..and that could be a bad thing from what the doc was saying because she could have appendicitis one day and we'd almost never know unless she had vomiting and diarrhea but he said the doc would probably misdiagnose because she wouldnt feel pain when they press on her....he said its bad if she falls down and may break a bone one day and we'd never know This is SCARY....I'm sure with GOD it'll all work out and be okay...just lots of prayers

I got home today from her appt. and my mom called and asked if I was sitting down....and she tells me my cousin passed away. He had tons of kidney problems they tend to run in my family (I'm adopted but some reason I have kidney problems to its kind of weird and now my daughter has them and my cousin who is a few years younger I think shes 25 she has already had a kidney transplant)...weird how we are biologically related and me and H have the same problem as the rest of my family LOL

I hope all of you had a wonderful day This too shall pass.... All I can do is imagine Mark in Heaven....and he's no longer in pain and having dialysis twice a week He is up there with my daddy, his daddy, and our other cousins who have passed.....I sure will miss him though

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh Andrea what a hard day!
The autism could certainly explain the wetting and UTIs. Lots of autistic children aren't potty trained until much later as they don't interpret the signals our bodies give us in the same way. However I taught a girl last year with no special needs or abuse etc and she was just very susceptible to UTIs.
The diagnosis must be hard to process but at least you have answers and can start educating yourself on the condition and how you can parent your girls. It is scary, my brother has a diagnosis, but I've worked with many asd children and can honestly say they are some of the most amazing children I have met!!
Please also bear in mind that autism presents itself very similarly to attachment disorders. So your children could be lower on the spectrum but with issues with attachment ( as would be expected) that make them appear more severe. Does that make sense?!
Praying for you and know you will be just fine sweetie! You're doing an amazing job, your girls are very lucky to have you xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh Andrea, you poor thing, what an awful lot of information for you to try and process. You are doing amazingly and I really hope that some answers do lift the 'what ifs' a little even if it's is not always what you want to hear. I also hope that with a diagnosis comes appropriate support for you all. Dream has given some good advice about attachment too. I also have worked with many children on the autistic spectrum and I agree that the hardest part is them not be beaten able to verbalise their distress. I used to provide respite for little man and when his tears came it was often hard to know if it was behavioural, pain, hunger etc. I had to guess as best I could from his body language but am sure often got it wrong. He also ate everything. slugs, bird poo, stamps, tadpoles, and at 7 he ate the sim card out of my phone! You can never be too careful can you. Really praying your little girl responds to the meds and that no further treatment is needed. I am also so sorry about your cousin. You sound like you need a big cuddle so sending virtual ones over seas to you all *hugs* Remember, you are a an amazing mum to all four of your children xxx

Dream, thinking of you loads today xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh, and also totally agree, autistic children have a wonderful charm. I have been key worker to two gorgeous boys in nursery, have given respite to a family and cared for their little one across 3 years and was a 1:1 teaching assistant for a little girl on the spectrum. Now I work in speech and language with many children of varying needs. I am no way comparing my work to 24/7 parenting, I am saying that working with these children for me is so special and the rewards at each little achievement is overwhelming. Love to you Andrea xxx

 

[aimze]

Andrea my thoughts are with you and your family thinking of your cousin, big hugs...

Wow loads of updates I've missed again! Been super busy decorating haven't logged in...

Adoption pre training was great, really interesting to see different people...next one in 4 weeks an we have a ton of stuff to complete...why they think how often we are "intimate" is relevant i don't know but I'm open so happy to share ha!!

How did court go ladies? X

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Dream Thanks and big huge thinking of you today!!

Aimze thanks hun and you will have loads of papers but just keep in mind what the end result will be! So very much worth it all!!

Lolly thanks hun I really appreciate it

Today I'm feeling a little better....still saddened of course about my cousin...it will get easier. I'm getting ready for math class this morning...blah I hate math

I was a little shocked when autism came out....but I'd never really thought of it much. I mean we KNEW there was something wrong...and kept asking WHY the agency never had the girls tested proper etc. They would just tell us they are a little bit "behind" and need catching up. What they didn't see is the girls could merely get through a day without constant supervision...the girls screams and cries everytime a toilet would flush....everytime they hear a siren they scream bloody murder with huge tears in their eyes....I NEVER even thought about autism although those are some pretty tale tale signs. I always knew the girls had some disabilities but never even thought these children were autistic. My son has Aspberger's Syndrome....so I know some of how the spectrum works but never in my mind did it even ring a bell until they told us that the girls not walking and how they can barely communicate was the largest sign of autism. They haven't been PROPERLY diagnosed but the doctor has diagnosed them with Pervasive Developmental Disability which in another term is general "Autism"....we are going to get through this though Honestly I'm glad we got a diagnosis of something rather than not knowing because we treated the girls just like we did the boys. If they were screaming and crying we would tell them dry it up or what not....now I understand and might be a little more comforting to their needs. I understand it better now and it all MAKES SENSE now....Thanking God for answers...even if they are small for now its more than what we had to work with!!

I hope everyone has a lovely day off to school I go!!

 

[karenh]

Lola: How did court go? I know it is so hard to understand why they would want to remove little man form your home where he belongs just because he has siblings he doesn’t know and who don’t know them. I really hope everything works out for you. I am here for you and praying for you. Sorry you can’t go black Friday shopping, but at least you have little boy until then and hopefully things can be squared away and you can enjoy your Christmas together.

Andrea: I am so sorry about the news with your little girls. It is nice to be starting to get some answers. You are so strong, I know you can help those girls and give them what they need. Also, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your cousin. This is such a hard time for you and your family, and I am sorry that is all seems to be coming at once. Sometimes life sucks. You have a really good outlook though. You family is in my prayers.

Dream: Good luck today! I can’t wait to hear the good news!

Aimze: I am glad training is going well! I hope they don’t ask us how often when we are having our interviews. They probably won’t like the answer. : )

 

[dreamofabean]

hi ladies,
No good news here
Court has been adjourned until the 22nd October as there was no judge assigned today. I mean really?!!! Dh is a police officer n said its a common occurrence but I think it's flipping disgusting!!
Little man's guardian goes on leave so can't do before that date
I'm devastated. I guess the worse but is that all this could happen again, or that he could possibly be returned to parents
Sw called n wanted to know if we still wanted to go ahead with little ones sw meeting scheduled for Monday. We all decided that our sw will come out but not his. I don't think I'm emotionally up to seeing more pics and a DVD of him at the moment.
We need to decide whether we back out or proceed. If oct date went ok panel would be 19th nov.
I really don't know how I feel other than devastated it truly feels like I will never be a mummy, it's another blow we didn't need
Hope everyone else is ok, sorry for the pity party, just really sad

 

[aimze]

Ah dream that's so annoying massive hugs to you bloody judges an courts!!

X

 

[Rainy123]

Aww dream, so so sorry
Why does nothing seem to run smoothly in the world of adoption?
Big hugs

 

[Loski83]

Dream it will all work out eventually, and he will be worth the wait xx