Adoption journey

[drudai]

Hi ladies.

Just popped in to say it's incredible to see you all as mommies!! Actually I get a little teary-eyed seeing how far everyone has come since 2 years ago in Feb 2013 (when I started reading!)

I just wanna say congrats and hope you all have a happy 2015. And to all the new ladies who are waiting to adopt, I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Good luck to you!!

 

[helloeveryone]

My 1st interview went well..only 5 more to go xxx

I am going to try and not worry about all the others,, as good things are happening right now..

 

[tommyg]

Ladies I hope you don't mind me asking. My husbands brother and wife are due in front of the approval panel before the end on the month they are hoping to adopt a set of siblings. Clearly I won't say a word to DS before the have been approved.
However at what point should we try and explain to our almost 4 year old that he will have some new cousins. Are we best to wait for them to have a match? Any ideas on the best way to do it, using a book, any films that open the way to discussing adoption?
He is at the stage of everything is "but why?" So I need to have some child friendly answers ready before I get bogged down in why?
Anything that I should completely avoid saying or doing?

Thanks I really appreciate some help on this totally new situation for me.

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi tommyg
Wow how lovely for your family! Very exciting! If I were you id plan seeds about a cousin being on the way but not tell your LO any firm details. We found with our nieces and nephews (under 3) they just accepted our LO and didn't question. However I'm a teacher and had lots of questions from kids at school! Lol
I explained that he had a tummy mommy but she couldn't keep him safe from harm, so he needed a new mommy and daddy. Kind people looked after him whilst they found a new mommy and it was me. They have asked about his birth family but generally just say 'ah, so you're his mommy now and he's yours forever?' Bless them!
There are heaps of adoption books but they're mainly written for adopted children. There are a number of disney films that address adoption/ fostering that might work, depends on your child! Lilo and stitch, paddington, despicable me, Stuart little etc. Just depends how much your little one will understand. As I said before our little ones were just happy to have a cousin and didn't question that he wasn't a newborn baby! Lol

 

[Lolly1985]

Also work will have been done with your in laws around both support network and childcare experience so I'm sure your son will have been mentioned lots. Have they discussed with social worker what they will do to support this change in the family? Has the social worker any suggestions on books etc to share with your son? I agree with Dream about drip feeding but no specifics just yet. Many congratulations to you all

 

[Try Rocking]

Lola that's horrible of her! I can't believe someone would do that without just cause.

Not a lot new here with me, I got the link to the course we need to take (online) and I checked everyday for when it opened. It just opened yesterday, I went to register and all the spots that the ministry helps with (cost wise) are taken. Ugh. So now we either wait for new spots or we have to wait until the next session (June).
I'm not sure when we meet for the first homestudy yet although the worker has been mentioning it. We'll see how things go.

Right now I'm just busy with the kids, yesterday was their birthday. Little man turned 1 and little miss turned 5. It just went by so fast.
On Sunday we have their birthday party, somehow I went a little invite crazy and there's 28 kids coming.
We have a small place so hopefully most of the kids play outside in the snow (Winter wonderland theme).

I hope you're all doing well!

 

[Monkey78]

Hi everyone and Happy 2015.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Im a little like Rainy, I havent had time to check in with you lovely ladies for a while. We had a wonderful "1st" Christmas with our little pink, it was simply magical. We are now preparing for her "1st" Birthday which is very near...... Also nervously waiting for the postman to deliver our date for our official Court Day, we submitted our adoption papers just before Christmas, so its all go in our household.

Karen - fingers are crossed for you, I hope it all works out for you xx

Its great to hear everyone else's news.

Take care ladies
xx

 

[Try Rocking]

I hope it all goes smoothly Monkey!

Our first home study was going to be soon (I just got off the phone with our worker) but they've changed the rules (not her) and since we haven't done any of the course we have to wait. So who knows how long until there is room with funding.

 

[karenh]

Well I guess adoption is going to be put on the back burner for now. Found out Sunday I am pregnant. I hope I don't loose this one, but I am feeling good about it so far.

 

[Try Rocking]

Congratulations Karen!!! I hope you have a wonderful and healthy pregnancy!

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh Karen that is just amazing news! Keeping everything very tightly crossed for you!! X

 

[karenh]

Thanks guys!

 

[helloeveryone]

Karen sooooo pleased for you. I have been following everyone story's on here and it's lovely to get some good news on this thread.

Congratulation xxxx hope things go well for you...

 

[dreamofabean]

We having been invited to a consultation evening with our placing authority they want adopters to give feedback on their experiences throughout the system. Apparently local councillors will be there to talk to. I'm secretly hoping our sw may be there to approach her about maybe looking to start process again in the spring! no definite plans but would def like to see her to discuss

 

[Lolly1985]

Karen oh my goodness, a million congratulations! So hoping this is a sticky forever baby for you both

Dream, us too! The consultation bit, not quite ready to go again just yet! Really hoping your social worker is there too, eek, getting prematurely excited for you! Looking forward to the consultation, ours is in conjunction with a local university. It's good to see agencies are striving to improve services.

Hope things start happening soon TR, bless you, waiting is horrible. But it sounds like you've been busy with your kiddies birthday parties, did they go well? Bet it was chaos but fab!!

Love to you all xxx

 

[Try Rocking]

Hopefully everything goes smoothly for everyone!

Lolly it was supposed to be on the 11th but due to my husband getting sick the party is now this Sunday. I think I have mostly everything that I can do early taken care of. On Saturday I will be cooking up a storm to feed so many people. I'm excited, it will be crazy busy in our little house but my kids are worth the effort and squishiness lol

I do wish things would move a little faster but there's nothing I can do to speed it along.
Hopefully we can get into the next course and get that out of the way!

 

[Rainy123]

Oh karen, I am SO pleased for you after your rollercoaster recently. Fingers firmly crossed

 

[helloeveryone]

We just passed our health and safety check,
so pleased I sort of knew we would but I was sort of nervous .
How everyone else doing ?
We are hoping to be approved end of February ..

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all
Hope everyone is well
We went to the consultation evening with the agency that approved us on Wednesday. It was with a group of local councillors n was a good couple of hours really. Felt like we were able to give something back finally.
We had a bit of a surprise yesterday. We sent our letterbox contact letter at the start of November and never heard back so jus assumed we wouldn't. Well, we got a reply yesterday. Tbh it's quite a nice letter, but it really threw me. Didn't feel right all day after it. I guess it's just a reminder that our boy didn't start life with us,.. Something that we honestly just forget in day to day life. It was very strange reading it. I also found myself feeling quite sceptical of what they were writing, I'm sure a lot was aimed at showing social services that they've changed their lifestyle... Something I doubt very much that they've done. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am. This made me very angry as our boy deserves the truth. Oh well. Can forget about it now until we have to write again in November! X

 

[dreamofabean]

How is everyone??
We had a bit of a bump in the road recently. We wanted to look into adopting again but have been told we need to wait until December when E has been with us for 2 years. So a 10 month wait for us! Ah well...
In more exciting news we have booked E's first aeroplane trip!we are off to lanzarote at the end of march can't wait but I'm already nervous about the flight with him!! Lol. He is constantly on the move, so a 4 hour flight will be interesting to say the least! Lol