Adoption journey

[Left wonderin]

Silver that is fantastic news you must be so so excited !!! Have you got your visiting schedual yet ?

 

[dreamofabean]

Eek silver that's fantastic! So happy for you Hun!!!
We have been linked too, hopefully our little lady will be home by mid November

 

[Lolly1985]

All these little pinks!!! Aww my little pink isn't so little these days

 

[silverbell]

Eek silver that's fantastic! So happy for you Hun!!!
We have been linked too, hopefully our little lady will be home by mid November

Brilliant news! Congratulations

---

We are just so excited. It's all full steam ahead after another meeting yesterday. Matching Panel is 12 October where they decide if we're the right parents for Little Pink. If approved (never wanted something so much in my life) we have to wait for ratification, which I think will take 2 or 3 days. Then we immediately start introductions for 5 to 7 days (all being well) before she comes home to live with us last week of October.

We have 3 weeks left of 'normality' before our lives are turned upside down but we are so ready for it and so very excited to meet her and welcome her into our lives and family

 

[dreamofabean]

Things here are blah
They had match meeting on Monday and the fc is struggling with her moving on. Don't know what went on but they ended up postponing the meeting. Up until yesterday we didn't know if the link was still secure or not
We are back on but the match meeting isn't for 2 weeks so we won't make panel in October. Gutted beyond words but relieved we will still be getting our girl! Just waiting for a new panel date now x

 

[Left wonderin]

Things here are blah
They had match meeting on Monday and the fc is struggling with her moving on. Don't know what went on but they ended up postponing the meeting. Up until yesterday we didn't know if the link was still secure or not
We are back on but the match meeting isn't for 2 weeks so we won't make panel in October. Gutted beyond words but relieved we will still be getting our girl! Just waiting for a new panel date now x

Gosh dream how did I miss this !!!!! A little pink ! And WTF ? Why did they postpone as fc was struggling ? That CRAP you won't make panel for October .
I'm sure your disappointed but just think little pink will be home in time for Santa coming

 

[Axl2]

Hey all, I was wondering if any of you gave birthmom a gift and what did you give her? I looked today I don't know if I should buy matching teddy bears one for her and one for baby, or buy a baby book. In a perfect world we would meet birthmom and I would have time to get a matching necklace or something. I'm struggling with this.

 

[dreamofabean]

Thanks left wondering. Yup it's ridiculously frustrating! Just hoping we can actually get her home before Christmas now!
Axl it's not 'that' common to meet birth parents here. We didn't meet e's. Little pink's bm wants to meet us but our Sw is dubious of it due to distance etc x

 

[Left wonderin]

Dream are they close ? If so I'd decline . Less complications down the line . Your under no obligation to do so but I'm sure you know that already .

 

[dreamofabean]

They're not hugely far away. We said we would consider but we have our doubts. I spoke to our Sw and she said her gut would say no. So I guess it's probably a no.
It's a shame as I would love to meet her, but we have to think of our anonymity. My dh is a police officer, I'm a teacher. Our pictures are online, he is regularly on local news etc. It's a risk x

 

[Left wonderin]

I totally get wanting to meet her but it maybe is just a little too risky. She is an unknown entity to you . She might genuinely just want to meet once or she might hound you . Not worth the risk id say . If you knew for certain but other than that I'd say no for now and maybe for in the future not to close the door totally ?

 

[Lolly1985]

We met birth parents in a one off meeting but they were not known to be violent and were further away. We showed some up to date pictures on our phones, this was so they couldn't ask to keep them like they might if we had printed some out. We didn't give a gift. They had gotten little pink a gift which we accepted. We later found it to be covered in mould though....

 

[Axl2]

In Canada the birth mom knows our address and its an open adoption so we have promised that we would meet up at least a couple times a year. We said that we would do an instant placement so I would like to have something. I'm grateful that she is picking us and I don't know if we would have time or remember to get something in the amount of time we are given to get to the hospital. I just want to be as prepared as I can be.

Lolly1985, that's gross its almost like after thought.

I don't know if I would like not meeting the birthmom. At some point the child is going to ask questions about the his/her bio mom.

Is it easy to adopt where you ladies are from?

 

[Left wonderin]

Almost Impossible here in Ireland ! Most children are left in long term foster care even if taken into care at birth ! Our law does not permit children born in wedlock to be adopted !!! Its antiquated ! There are less than 15 children put up for adoption last year

 

[dreamofabean]

I never knew that left wonderin!
Circumstances are very different here, unfortunately there are a huge number of children in the system
The biggest difference between our systems is that your birth mothers choose to put their children up for adoption. Here we occasionally get relinquished children, but usually it's forced adoption by the court system for the child's safety. Often birth families are very angry and hostile because of this. This can make meeting birth families tricky.

 

[Left wonderin]

I bet ! Here the courts will grant care orders till the child's 18th birthday against the consent of the parents but that leaves the child in limbo ... No mans land for thier entire life . This is my opinion . I feel its so u fair to expect a child to feel a part of both families / foster family whom they may have visitation with weekly ! And then be expected to settle fully with a foster carer and feel secure ... So unsettling for the child and for everyone .

I've seen so many children torn apart by divided loyalty and very big difficult emotions left in this situation . I think there is different circumstances when a child is much older and has an established relationship with a parent which is not abusive by nature . Or for children who's parents cannot look after them through a disability ect intense I think limited visitation is ok with an open adoption . I work in the field so have some strong views ! I. Case you hadn't noticed lol.... I also have experience from a personal level with my sister long term fostering a sibling group so I've seen it from both sides

 

[Axl2]

Yeah we have two different system here one is government where the child is taken from birth parents and put in foster or adoption. And the other is private where the adoptive families pay and usually get a new born baby. I think it makes it easier for the birth family to pick who there unborn child goes to. And depending on the situation the open adoption is a great experience for all. We meet a couple who had adopted twice through the agency and the one birth family is very involved with the child. I like the open adoption because there's no secrets and if the child has questions hopefully you will have answer or contact the birth mom.

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all
We finally have good news! Sw emailed us today, match meeting is organised for next week and match panel for end of October! Only delayed by 9 days! So relieved!

 

[Left wonderin]

Oh dream that is great news are you more nervous or excited ?

 

[Left wonderin]

Have you started shopping for all that pink