Adoption

[Rumpskin]

POSTED IN MISCARRIAGE SECTION

I know that there is a thread for adoption on b&b but wanted to know if there is anyone, in particular ladies who have had three or more miscarriages, who are going down the adoption route as well as TTC/having tests.

I am seriously considering contacting Social Services(?) for info.
At aged 40, I know I am not quite over the hill but am determined to be a mummy one way or another.

I am back in hospital in February to chat to Gynae and going to ask to be referred to St Marys Hospital, London.

Any thoughts good or bad would be appreciated x

 

[QuintinsMommy]

didn't want to read and run! wish you luck!

 

[AirForceWife7]

I think what you're considering is a wonderful decision

So sorry for all your losses and I hope that this is a wonderful route for you

 

[CurlySue]

Hi there,

I don't know if you're in the UK or not but in the UK you cannot do both side by side. You can either TTC or you can adopt, but they won't allow it simultaneously. Basically, you need to prove that you are 100 percent committed to adoption and 100 percent 'over' your fertility issues before they'll pursue.

If you're undergoing treatment (or have miscarried) you have to wait six months to a year before they'll allow you to start the process as this is a 'grieving' period for yourself and your partner.

It sounds harsh, but adoption cannot be seen as 'a last resort' and the agency's priorities are with the child. It costs money to put people through the adoption process and they're not prepared to risk a person who is trying to conceive getting six months in, perhaps even further than that and matched with a child, only to pull out because they got pregnant.

Some agencies even make you go on the pill during the process just to prove you're 100 percent committed.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear but it's basically the way things are run. If you need any info, PM me. I'm thirteen months into the process and about to complete.