AF on 20th - Anyone else?

[MissRoseMama]

Well actually it would be since I ovulated early and AF hasn't fully came. So I'm not sure what's going on. My luteal phase is usually pretty average.

Sounding almost too promising Rose!!

I will message more when I get home and have time. Have a nice day ladies!!

I know, right! It's a big tease. Knowing me, it's a sign of AF 😩

It is strange that your Luteal phase was so short this cycle especially since it doesn't seem normal for you.

 

[MissRoseMama]

Oh I forgot to mention, my brother wrote me back and said "thank you" and I almost lost it when I saw it thinking about everything he is going through. I wish so much that I was near my family right now.

 

[Pne1985]

Well actually it would be since I ovulated early and AF hasn't fully came. So I'm not sure what's going on. My luteal phase is usually pretty average.

Sounding almost too promising Rose!!

I will message more when I get home and have time. Have a nice day ladies!!

I know, right! It's a big tease. Knowing me, it's a sign of AF 😩

It is strange that your Luteal phase was so short this cycle especially since it doesn't seem normal for you.

Who knows, Ive done so good not googling everything this cycle. Mainly because we were crazy busy, which is good but I wish I could get it off of my mind. Haha.

I just started spotting more and it's more like the beginning of AF so by tomorrow she will be here for good. Damn her!! My luteal phase was actually longer if anything this cycle. But I don't exactly know the day I ovulated even though I would have had a positive on day 8. I think it would have actually happened the next day. Which would give me a 15 day luteal phase.

I'm so glad you heard from your brother!!

 

[MissRoseMama]

Well actually it would be since I ovulated early and AF hasn't fully came. So I'm not sure what's going on. My luteal phase is usually pretty average.

Sounding almost too promising Rose!!

I will message more when I get home and have time. Have a nice day ladies!!

I know, right! It's a big tease. Knowing me, it's a sign of AF 😩

It is strange that your Luteal phase was so short this cycle especially since it doesn't seem normal for you.

Who knows, Ive done so good not googling everything this cycle. Mainly because we were crazy busy, which is good but I wish I could get it off of my mind. Haha.

I just started spotting more and it's more like the beginning of AF so by tomorrow she will be here for good. Damn her!! My luteal phase was actually longer if anything this cycle. But I don't exactly know the day I ovulated even though I would have had a positive on day 8. I think it would have actually happened the next day. Which would give me a 15 day luteal phase.

I'm so glad you heard from your brother!!

Believe it or not, I was actually better last cycle - I think I may have googled once. This cycle I've googled things three times. Odd stuff - have some brownish discharge but nothing significant and nothing when I wipe so I'm not sure what it is. Not thinking it means anything in particular. I spent the last few months convinced all the spotting I had was IB and it was all AF so I'm done with that.

The only positive is that I have been getting heartburn a few times, which I never get - and this is a weird one (for me), very little acid reflux thus far. The last few cycles I have had horrible bouts of it and thought it was a good sign. Maybe the lack of it is, or else I'm just eating better, lol.

I'm glad I heard from him too, though admittedly surprised.

 

[London Kiwi]

So glad you heard from him Rose 💗
Have they any further news?

I have nothing to report, no symptoms either way. I normally don't get too many AF cramps until a day or two before - she's due Weds so might feel something early in the week.

Having a lazy day at home today which is nice. Life has been so hectic lately! Making the husband build our new BBQ as I fancy one!

No word from Sticky... Hope she's
Ok! X

 

[MissRoseMama]

So glad you heard from him Rose 💗
Have they any further news?

I have nothing to report, no symptoms either way. I normally don't get too many AF cramps until a day or two before - she's due Weds so might feel something early in the week.

Having a lazy day at home today which is nice. Life has been so hectic lately! Making the husband build our new BBQ as I fancy one!

No word from Sticky... Hope she's
Ok! X

Unfortunately, yes, Kiwi. I read an article coming into work that a body was found at Bondi. They are going to be doing a forensic exam later today to see if it was him. I am here at work but all I want to do is cry right now. I just can't stop seeing him as the little boy he was. I left early yesterday (though only by an hour) because of my insulin so unless they are able to get somebody to come in on short notice, I am probably stuck here. If they find out it is his body though, I am out. To heck with it all. I don't care.

To top it off - I had a temperature drop today. A huge one! No sign of AF beyond the weird brownish discharge yesterday. I am not sure if I can trust it because it can be effected by fluctuations in blood sugar and mine was up and down all night. Then, 20 minutes or less before I took it, I had a low blood sugar and drank something to bring it up and because it was freezing in our room, the drink was cold, so that may have effected it too. It's within the realm of the possible that it could be AF. I am CD 27, but only 11DPO and according to FF, they expect me to have a 30 day cycle and honestly, they have been correct every month before this one.

I POAS at 3 am last night (FMU) and I wasn't sure of the result. It looked negative but I was exhausted and it was hard to tell. I took a picture of it and put it on a Tweakers board on BabyCenter but it was never looked at or tweaked so I took it off. It also looked negative when I saw it this morning. Though I had this dream, very involved, when I finally went back to sleep after 4 am that the people on the board replied saying it was positive. It was such a vivid (wonderful) dream that when I woke up, I thought it was true! 😥

Then the temp drop and the news. If AF comes today, it's official, I am friggin cursed

 

[London Kiwi]

Oh Rose, so sorry to hear they found a body - in a way it would be relieving (in a way if you know what I mean) so they get some closure, thinking of you all X

And stay away AF!!!

 

[stickylizard]

Rose Mama I am hoping for a BFP for you, to cancel out my complete bitch of a week :'[

Bloods on Weds were up 31% as I think I said before, then when I went on Friday and had bloods drawn they did another scan simply because the doctor who they were referring me to would have wanted a recent scan. There was nothing, again :[ The sac they could not confirm was even a sac as it did not have a defined ring around it, as yet was just an area of fluid. Nothing to see inside it. It had grown a little bit.

Went home, my phone was playing up so I was waiting and waiting for the call and then my husband came home from the shop and said he had tried to call me but couldn't get through >:[

I called Voicemail and sure as can be, a message from the clinic saying my levels had risen but again by only 30% :[ They said they needed me to go to the ward for a review by the doctor asap. I went in and that is when it all got a bit real.

The doctor said that because the levels aren't rising by 50-63% in 48hrs that the pregnancy definitely was not viable. I was swallowing back tears as she continued to tell me that a slight rise or static hormones are characteristic of an ectopic, and because they couldn't see any yolk sac or anything in my womb they could not rule an ectopic out!

She said that since my obs were ok and I felt well and didn't have any of the scary ectopic symptoms like shoulder tip pain or excruciating pain on one side that I could go home with the emergency number and instructions to come back Sunday at 10am for repeat bloods...

I have since started bleeding but it is hardly painful and not very heavy really, not even as heavy or painful as a normal period... If I go back tomorrow, as it stands the best I can hope for is that my levels have dropped significantly as it will indicate that wherever the pregnancy was it is resolving itself - if they are still rising or are static then they are going to want to treat me for an ectopic which will be just horrible :[ I said to the doctor yesterday can we not just wait to confirm via scan? And she said no by the time it's big enough to be clear on a scan it wil be too dangerous as it can rupture and cause sepsis.

The options are to have a tube surgically removed which is drastic BUT the other option is methotrexate which as a form of chemotherapy carries risks, means I cannot conceive for 3 months and most importantly would mean I have to stop breastfeeding Daisy which would just kill me. To lose a baby and lose my breastfeeding relationship with Daisy would be too much. I cannot begin to tell you the journey she and I have had with feeding, I am not prepared to stop before she is ready. It would break her little heart if I had to refuse her, she asks a few times a day and feeds on demand.

I am trying not to think about any of that. I just want to go, get the blood drawn and get the phone call a few hours later to say my levels have dropped and no further intervention is required.

I have emailed the midwives to cancel my booking appointment and have uninstalled the pregnancy app and started as CD1 on Ovia app :[

Fingers crossed for me ladies :[ xxx

So sorry to hear about your nephew as well... There are no words. I can only hope x

 

[London Kiwi]

Oh god Sticky. I am incredibly sorry, I don't even know what to say to you.... Sending you a massive hug and so much warm love. You sound like you've had a hell of a week. It's not been a good month for us ladies - can only hope for a happy story for us all soon enough.
Sticky whatever happens I hope they don't have to perform any invasive procedures on you and you continue on your normal journey to try again. Such rubbish news - thinking of you and your family, I hope you can continue to feed Daisy.

Sending all you ladies lots of love 💗 What a great bunch of people you are and I only hope the best for us all xx

 

[MissRoseMama]

Rose Mama I am hoping for a BFP for you, to cancel out my complete bitch of a week :'[

Bloods on Weds were up 31% as I think I said before, then when I went on Friday and had bloods drawn they did another scan simply because the doctor who they were referring me to would have wanted a recent scan. There was nothing, again :[ The sac they could not confirm was even a sac as it did not have a defined ring around it, as yet was just an area of fluid. Nothing to see inside it. It had grown a little bit.

Went home, my phone was playing up so I was waiting and waiting for the call and then my husband came home from the shop and said he had tried to call me but couldn't get through >:[

I called Voicemail and sure as can be, a message from the clinic saying my levels had risen but again by only 30% :[ They said they needed me to go to the ward for a review by the doctor asap. I went in and that is when it all got a bit real.

The doctor said that because the levels aren't rising by 50-63% in 48hrs that the pregnancy definitely was not viable. I was swallowing back tears as she continued to tell me that a slight rise or static hormones are characteristic of an ectopic, and because they couldn't see any yolk sac or anything in my womb they could not rule an ectopic out!

She said that since my obs were ok and I felt well and didn't have any of the scary ectopic symptoms like shoulder tip pain or excruciating pain on one side that I could go home with the emergency number and instructions to come back Sunday at 10am for repeat bloods...

I have since started bleeding but it is hardly painful and not very heavy really, not even as heavy or painful as a normal period... If I go back tomorrow, as it stands the best I can hope for is that my levels have dropped significantly as it will indicate that wherever the pregnancy was it is resolving itself - if they are still rising or are static then they are going to want to treat me for an ectopic which will be just horrible :[ I said to the doctor yesterday can we not just wait to confirm via scan? And she said no by the time it's big enough to be clear on a scan it wil be too dangerous as it can rupture and cause sepsis.

The options are to have a tube surgically removed which is drastic BUT the other option is methotrexate which as a form of chemotherapy carries risks, means I cannot conceive for 3 months and most importantly would mean I have to stop breastfeeding Daisy which would just kill me. To lose a baby and lose my breastfeeding relationship with Daisy would be too much. I cannot begin to tell you the journey she and I have had with feeding, I am not prepared to stop before she is ready. It would break her little heart if I had to refuse her, she asks a few times a day and feeds on demand.

I am trying not to think about any of that. I just want to go, get the blood drawn and get the phone call a few hours later to say my levels have dropped and no further intervention is required.

I have emailed the midwives to cancel my booking appointment and have uninstalled the pregnancy app and started as CD1 on Ovia app :[

Fingers crossed for me ladies :[ xxx

So sorry to hear about your nephew as well... There are no words. I can only hope x

Oh, sticky...all I can say is I've been there...in pretty much exactly the same circumstance. I think they always preach methotrexate - they did to me as well. I left my old reproductive endocrinologist because they were pushing me to take the methotrexate despite the fact that there was no solid evidence that mine was an ectopic. So, my advice to you would be to wait it out a week and see what happens. That's what I did and eventually the miscarriage happened on its own.

Obviously only you know what is right for you...and it's not an easy decision to make. I just didn't feel comfortable taking a drug as powerful as methotrexate without sufficient evidence that that's what was going on.

I also remember what it was like having to cancel my OB appointment too. Many hugs! ❤️❤️❤️

 

[MissRoseMama]

Oh Rose, so sorry to hear they found a body - in a way it would be relieving (in a way if you know what I mean) so they get some closure, thinking of you all X

And stay away AF!!!

Thank you so much, Kiwi! It's very confusing because I have minor cramps (nothing bad) but much of what is going on is brown discharge and the like. But I'm sure worse is coming. I'm trying to hope for the best but it's hard. From what I can see from my last two charts is that I have started to spot the two days before AF is supposed to start so if I start spotting tomorrow, I can pretty much count myself out. The one good thing about that is that I wouldn't have to waste another pregnancy test. I will be wearing a pad the next two days just as a precaution. Better that way than assume AF is not going to come and end up depressed!

My supervisor was awesome though and told me she would support anything I felt I needed to do, so I will be working tomorrow and then taking off on Monday. It was just hard at work today. With the email from my brother to my parents coupled with the news of the body, I broke down and cried several times at work today.

 

[London Kiwi]

Oh Rose, so sorry to hear they found a body - in a way it would be relieving (in a way if you know what I mean) so they get some closure, thinking of you all X

And stay away AF!!!

Thank you so much, Kiwi! It's very confusing because I have minor cramps (nothing bad) but much of what is going on is brown discharge and the like. But I'm sure worse is coming. I'm trying to hope for the best but it's hard. From what I can see from my last two charts is that I have started to spot the two days before AF is supposed to start so if I start spotting tomorrow, I can pretty much count myself out. The one good thing about that is that I wouldn't have to waste another pregnancy test. I will be wearing a pad the next two days just as a precaution. Better that way than assume AF is not going to come and end up depressed!

My supervisor was awesome though and told me she would support anything I felt I needed to do, so I will be working tomorrow and then taking off on Monday. It was just hard at work today. With the email from my brother to my parents coupled with the news of the body, I broke down and cried several times at work today.

It's great that your supervisor is so supportive Rose. Have you decided when you're going to head home for a visit?

I do hope AF stays away!!
CD25 for me today, I checked my Ovia app and on this day last month I felt slight cramps so will wait and see what the day has in store for me!

 

[MissRoseMama]

Oh Rose, so sorry to hear they found a body - in a way it would be relieving (in a way if you know what I mean) so they get some closure, thinking of you all X

And stay away AF!!!

Thank you so much, Kiwi! It's very confusing because I have minor cramps (nothing bad) but much of what is going on is brown discharge and the like. But I'm sure worse is coming. I'm trying to hope for the best but it's hard. From what I can see from my last two charts is that I have started to spot the two days before AF is supposed to start so if I start spotting tomorrow, I can pretty much count myself out. The one good thing about that is that I wouldn't have to waste another pregnancy test. I will be wearing a pad the next two days just as a precaution. Better that way than assume AF is not going to come and end up depressed!

My supervisor was awesome though and told me she would support anything I felt I needed to do, so I will be working tomorrow and then taking off on Monday. It was just hard at work today. With the email from my brother to my parents coupled with the news of the body, I broke down and cried several times at work today.

It's great that your supervisor is so supportive Rose. Have you decided when you're going to head home for a visit?

I do hope AF stays away!!
CD25 for me today, I checked my Ovia app and on this day last month I felt slight cramps so will wait and see what the day has in store for me!

Gabrielle has surgery on Tuesday so almost definitely Wednesday.

Me too! Though I'm not feeling particularly optimistic since I seem to be getting my usual spotting. It's brown when I wipe sometimes which is what has happened the last two cycles.

Only abnormal thing was that I woke up to pee again at 3, was really thirsty and my blood sugar wasn't high. Either way, I will expect her to come.

Temperature is back up, so yesterday must have been a blood sugar thing! Phew!

 

[Pne1985]

Sticky, I'm sorry to hear this. I hope this will go as quickly and painless as possible! And then you can just start again. I'll be thinking of you!

London and Rose, at least one of you need to get that positive, I'm crossing my fingers it's both of you!!

And Rose, I'm sorry to hear your news. Hopefully you can visit you family soon. One good thing during rough terrain in life is that time doesn't stop so this will pass and life around still goes on.

Thinking of you all!!

 

[MissRoseMama]

Sticky, I'm sorry to hear this. I hope this will go as quickly and painless as possible! And then you can just start again. I'll be thinking of you!

London and Rose, at least one of you need to get that positive, I'm crossing my fingers it's both of you!!

And Rose, I'm sorry to hear your news. Hopefully you can visit you family soon. One good thing during rough terrain in life is that time doesn't stop so this will pass and life around still goes on.

Thinking of you all!!

Thanks, pne. As I said, I am feeling pretty disheartened. I have some mild cramps, nothing huge, but since I am not supposed to expect AF until Tuesday, I wouldn't expect to have bad cramps. I feel like these two days are a trap for me - the spotting is light enough to trick my mind into thinking its IB when it's actually AF...so then when AF comes, I am depressed. I'm trying not to fall into that trap this time around. No testing allowed!

 

[London Kiwi]

I'm with you Rose! No testing... Don't do it! And I won't either.
I'm due AF on Weds.
I think I might've had some mild cramps earlier but nothing to intense.
Hope Gabirelles surgery goes well Rose, so many things going on in your life right now, I'm not sure how you get any time for yourself!
Pne - how are you getting on? And Sticky - I hope you're ok luv
Xx

 

[stickylizard]

I am in agony 😭😭😭😭😭 I've been having HCG tests and scans all week every 48hrs. Had a blood test this AM, the ward called back and said my levels were still rising, Friday's level was 2000 and today's was 2200 😫 she called me in to repeat bloods immediately because my bleeding coupled with the strange HCG indicates ectopic :[ successful pregnancies have HCG that doubles every 48hrs and failing pregnancies it halves every 48hrs whereas mine is rising by little bits. They tried to talk me into methotrexate or the surgery but I stood my ground as I REALLY do not think it is ectopic, I have no symptoms of it and I am bleeding etc. She asked to do an exam to take some swabs etc which was AWFUL. She said there was a big clot in my cervix so she scraped it out and disappeared off with it while I was sitting up trying not to burst into tears with the pain, honestly it feels like labour now. Waves of awful back cramps. She came back and said she had examined the clot and it did look like placental matter and sac etc but she was sending it to the lab! She said it was reassuring and did point towards a miscarriage but the still cannot rule out ectopic so she took blood from my wrist as my arms are all bruised up, and said they would check my haemoglobin for signs of too much bleeding, like ARE THEY NOT LISTENING TO ME. The bleeding is fine! The first period I had after Daisy 10 months post partum was heavier. I feel so violated, it was so intrusive, and she stole my baby away like it was some hospital medical property! She didn't even tell me what she was doing with it just took it away 😢 I am so sad and I am hurting intensely. When will this nightmare end! I have to go back on Tuesday to EPU for yet another HCG test, yet more money spent at nursery for the boys to be in breakfast club, more hours wasted in EPU and a morning wasted, I wish I had never gone to Out of Hours with the mild cramps, then they would never have even known. I would have called the GP tomorrow and they would have documented it in my notes and told me what infection symptoms to look out for and that would be it. I want to crawl away and hide 😭😭😭😭😭 My body would have passed that clot on its own ffs I have squeezed 4 babies out of there.

Sorry I sound so self absorbed at the moment :[ I have been trying to keep busy which is why I have barely been checking in but I do truly appreciate your support ladies and at least I can come back to TTC with you soon xxx

 

[MissRoseMama]

I'm with you Rose! No testing... Don't do it! And I won't either.
I'm due AF on Weds.
I think I might've had some mild cramps earlier but nothing to intense.
Hope Gabirelles surgery goes well Rose, so many things going on in your life right now, I'm not sure how you get any time for yourself!
Pne - how are you getting on? And Sticky - I hope you're ok luv
Xx

Honestly, I have not had much time to myself - that's why I am looking forward to going to Delaware so I can get some time.

I hate this part of the TWW because every trip to the bathroom is stressful. What color is it going to be? Brown? Red? Pink? Ugh. I keep praying for none of the above but I am not that lucky. It hasn't been that for a little while..,

 

[London Kiwi]

Oh Sticky I am so incredibly sorry to
Hear what you are going through. It's simply awful. And more so that no one seems to be listening to you, you know your body better than anyone.
Putting the boys in breakfast club isn't cheap wish I was closer and I'd totally look after them for you!
You poor thing, I hope this nightmare ends for you soon so you can put it behind you. All these trips to the doctor, hospital - must be so time consuming and stressful.

Sending you all my love 💗

Rose still praying for you that AF stays away!! Happy that you're able to head to Delaware, you need some Rose time!

Xx

 

[London Kiwi]

Morning ladies,
I feel awful today. Woke up at 5am sweating like mad, was disgusting!

I pretty sure I'm out this month - I just feel that kind of blah before AF. Just a bit yuck, bit headachy, bit of nausea. Just yuck!

God damn her!!