~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Pixxie]

Sanctuary sorry to hear what your mum said, some people really dont get it

Im feeling a lot better about my weight gain all of a sudden, I look pregnant now though which I imagine is what has done it. I was so scared I just looked tubby Im still only up 5 kg so far, which is bang on average according to the weight gain calculator. It has become my new fixation to try and gain exactly what it says I should, I cant decide if this is good or bad though! xx

 

[jen1604]

I'm glad you're feeling better Pixx,thats excellent

Enjoy these good happy days my lovely.I bet you look gorgeous. x

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I'm having a hard time atm. As some of you ladies know, I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant without FT. But I did, obviously. So while I was pregnant it was very easy to justify gaining weight and recovering because I needed my baby. My naturally conceived miracle baby. And if I didn't eat, she wouldn't eat. Once she was born, it was easy to justify recovery because I was breastfeeding.
But she's been having trouble bfing now and it's making me really upset. I'm having to top her off with EBM after nursing her and sometimes I just need to give her formula because I either don't have any EBM to top her off with or I'm not engorged enough to BF her. (I got so severely chapped that I couldn't actually nurse her for a few days. Now I can nurse her if I'm a bit engorged because they go kind of numb.)

This is making it a bit harder. I'm ashamed to admit that some of the hate I have for using formula (for my own situation, not others. I have nothing against FF moms) is because I linked bfing to recovery.

I have my 6 week check-up coming up soon and I'm afraid to know how much I weigh. I've been peeking at the scale every now and then and I was down to 115lbs early this week. Which isn't "bad" since I'm 5"4, but I was between 90 & 95lbs when I got pregnant. I haven't seen anything above 105 on the scale in almost 3 years. I keep reminding myself that this is good, this is a healthy weight. But sometimes.....sometimes it's just easier to go back.


I've talked to my aunt about it, and she tried to help me by reminding me that "bad habits, just like old habits, die hard," But this was never just a habit. It was a lifestyle.

 

[Groovychick]

I can empathise with you Croc-o-dile. I've definitely see my eating disorder as a lifestyle rather than an illness. I been entrenched so long that it feels normal to engage in these kind of behaviours. We need to start seeing these behaviours as socially unacceptable and inappropriate rather than using them as a stress reliever. Also knowing that maintaining our health is important for the health and wellbeing of our children.

 

[annawrigley]

Does anyone elses HV always ask what you ate the previous day?

 

[jen1604]

Does anyone elses HV always ask what you ate the previous day?

No...

(and I would probably tell her to get bent if she did ask) x

 

[Groovychick]

I do get asked that sometimes, yes.

 

[annawrigley]

mine always asks, i think its really rude, and lie. so its pointless anyway. if i was BF i could understand a bit more but im not so it seems irrelevant to anything

 

[jen1604]

I hope its ok for me to rant a little bit here..a rant is probably more healthy than eating the rest of this giant tub of ice cream I'm currently making my way through (Note to self-put the spoon DOWN Jen,step away from the trigger food)

Urgh,I am having a hard time.Thing is I LIKE being skinny,thats why I keep going back to this and of course losing a couple of lbs is the worst because its so motivational to lose more.
The last couple of days I have binged/purged (more than once) aswell as taking LOADS of pro plus and drinking lots of strong black coffee.Bluuurgh.I dont know what to do I don't want to be fat

 

[Phantom]

It makes me so sad to see all you beautiful mommies struggling when you have such perfect little ones who came from you.

I'm going to suggest something obvious and silly, but if you have a scale get rid of it. It REALLY helps. It won't solve anything but it really does make a difference.

 

[jen1604]

Getting rid of the scale is just not an option for me.
not knowing what i weigh just makes me even more nervous and anxious.but thank you for the suggestion. x

 

[shocker]

My mum got rid of all our weighing scales when I was first diagnosed and every one I smuggled into the house since.I live away from home now and still don't actually have one, For me it stopped being about weight years ago, obviously it still bothers me but not as much as it used to.
Jen I'm so sorry your struggling right now, you know yourself that this is not the way to get thin, you know also that if you set yourself a goal you'll reach it and set a new one. If you want to lose a few pounds then do it slowly and healthily by having 3 balanced meals a day and 2/3 snacks, ask your doctor to refer you to a dietician so that you can get a tailored meal plan. Or how about a beat support meeting?? I don't really know how to help but feel free to pm me anytime you need to rant I hope your ok xx

 

[annawrigley]

^ my mum got rid of our scales as well
i have no idea what i weigh
i havent weighed myself since christmas at my grannys house, which was a bad move cos i was pretty pregnant
i am moving out on 11th september and pretty sure i will buy some then... i havent known what i weigh for so long its weird! x

 

[Sanctuary]

I haven't had a scale since I started purging/the rest because I am shit scared that I might see that I have gained some and if I have been good, think that it's free to relax on it a bit (I don't like feeling like I do when I take it extreme). Which must never happen !!

 

[Groovychick]

girls.

 

[Sarah10]

I can feel my ED coming back, its only 12 days since i've had Jayden

 

[jen1604]

sarah.
Just after you have a baby is such a vulnerable time for relapse.try and focus on getting that nutrition you need to be at your best to look after your little man.do you have people around you that you can talk to hon? X

 

[Sarah10]

My o/h is the only one who knows about it, but he gets mad when i talk about it i've had an ED since i was 14, kind of recovered through pregnancy, had a mini relapse at 27 weeks but forced myself to eat for Jayden, and now i know i have to so i have energy, i can't help but want to count calories xxx

 

[Phantom]

When will "you look better" be a compliment?!

I saw my friend's dad today and he said "oh you grew up, you look a lot better". I know it's supposed to be a compliment but... My friend told me her mom said something similar after she saw me the other day. Is it that obvious?!

I don't think I look "good" at all.

 

[Sarah10]

Phantom i think i know what you mean on the 'you look better' compliment.. in some ways when i get told i look better i see that as an insult.. like i look better because i've gained weight.. is that what you mean?

Sometimes i think my o/h makes this even worse, he says the most ridiculous things at times.. i don't want to f*****g eat, the only thing keeping me going is my baby boy right now i feel like a shit mum.