~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[9babiesgone]

thanks. : )

 

[annawrigley]

I'm back

 

[annawrigley]

Is it fucked up that I make myself feel better by promising that I can go back to the anorexia once Ivy is at an age that I can guarantee that I've done everything I can to prevent her from having eating issues? I miss my eating disorder like its an old friend. Its so hard to remember all the awful things about it, all I can think about is the way it made me feel light and free.

Maybe... I don't know anymore! When I was pregnant the only thing getting me through eating normally was knowing I could go back to it once he was born

 

[Sarah10]

I'm back

You ok hun?Xx

 

[Sarah10]

I hate the way i feel when i eat a normal meal, makes me feel such a fucking let down, failure.
like now. and all i'm looking forward to is tomorrow when i can not eat.

 

[_laura]

I'm back.

 

[annawrigley]

I'm back

You ok hun?Xx

Yep not too bad just wondering how I ended up back in this mess I've not counted calories since I was about 25 weeks preg and now I'm back to it obsessively, constantly setting lower targets, every day has to be less :/ Its hard hiding it from people who don't know I ever had a problem, like people from college who I have only known 6 months. They keep asking why I'm eating pineapple for lunch and I keep babbling crap about how its really filling and i dont feel like eating junk after i've ate fruit and the sunny weather makes me want to eat fruit lol (although I do actually like pineapple )
And in reply to your second post I always feel that way too. Feeling full is such a horrible feeling, it baffles me how something that feels so disgusting to me is a feeling of satisfaction to others How are you doing? x

 

[annawrigley]

I'm back.

You ok? Lots of familiar faces in here i had no idea were struggling x

 

[Sarah10]

I'm back

You ok hun?Xx

Yep not too bad just wondering how I ended up back in this mess I've not counted calories since I was about 25 weeks preg and now I'm back to it obsessively, constantly setting lower targets, every day has to be less :/ Its hard hiding it from people who don't know I ever had a problem, like people from college who I have only known 6 months. They keep asking why I'm eating pineapple for lunch and I keep babbling crap about how its really filling and i dont feel like eating junk after i've ate fruit and the sunny weather makes me want to eat fruit lol (although I do actually like pineapple )
And in reply to your second post I always feel that way too. Feeling full is such a horrible feeling, it baffles me how something that feels so disgusting to me is a feeling of satisfaction to others How are you doing? x

I know it's crap isn't it? When did it all begin with you? i was 13, living at home, still carried on when i moved out but once in got pregnant i was generally ok, but 2 week after having Jayden i was back to it. I ended up blurting alot out to my sister last night, we got drunk, first time in 16 month omg! but i don't think she remembered thank god! xx

 

[_laura]

I'm back.

You ok? Lots of familiar faces in here i had no idea were struggling x

Yeah I'm hoping I'm just going through a phase and OH will knock some sense into me but I know it won't happen.
I'm just cutting out everything from my diet. And my blogs just been bombarded with someone that must know what makes my mind flip
I though having Max would have helped it but it's made it worse now.
Hope you're okay hun

 

[annawrigley]

I'm back

You ok hun?Xx

Yep not too bad just wondering how I ended up back in this mess I've not counted calories since I was about 25 weeks preg and now I'm back to it obsessively, constantly setting lower targets, every day has to be less :/ Its hard hiding it from people who don't know I ever had a problem, like people from college who I have only known 6 months. They keep asking why I'm eating pineapple for lunch and I keep babbling crap about how its really filling and i dont feel like eating junk after i've ate fruit and the sunny weather makes me want to eat fruit lol (although I do actually like pineapple )
And in reply to your second post I always feel that way too. Feeling full is such a horrible feeling, it baffles me how something that feels so disgusting to me is a feeling of satisfaction to others How are you doing? x

I know it's crap isn't it? When did it all begin with you? i was 13, living at home, still carried on when i moved out but once in got pregnant i was generally ok, but 2 week after having Jayden i was back to it. I ended up blurting alot out to my sister last night, we got drunk, first time in 16 month omg! but i don't think she remembered thank god! xx

I was 14, i still dont know why it started but it all happened pretty fast and before I knew it i was in too deep for the next couple of years before getting pregnant and then things had to change! But i never for a minute thought that would be the end of it forever, I knew I'd be back here at one point or another! Hopefully your sis doesn't remember! xx

 

[annawrigley]

Laura just read that comment on your blog how horrible! xxx

 

[Sarah10]

I'm back.

You ok? Lots of familiar faces in here i had no idea were struggling x

Yeah I'm hoping I'm just going through a phase and OH will knock some sense into me but I know it won't happen.
I'm just cutting out everything from my diet. And my blogs just been bombarded with someone that must know what makes my mind flip
I though having Max would have helped it but it's made it worse now.
Hope you're okay hun

What a twat, and they were anonymous too, so brave of them, not! xxxx

 

[_laura]

Yeah thats what I thought but in the back of my mind I know exactly who wrote it to me. Thanks girls

 

[Sarah10]

I'm back

You ok hun?Xx

Yep not too bad just wondering how I ended up back in this mess I've not counted calories since I was about 25 weeks preg and now I'm back to it obsessively, constantly setting lower targets, every day has to be less :/ Its hard hiding it from people who don't know I ever had a problem, like people from college who I have only known 6 months. They keep asking why I'm eating pineapple for lunch and I keep babbling crap about how its really filling and i dont feel like eating junk after i've ate fruit and the sunny weather makes me want to eat fruit lol (although I do actually like pineapple )
And in reply to your second post I always feel that way too. Feeling full is such a horrible feeling, it baffles me how something that feels so disgusting to me is a feeling of satisfaction to others How are you doing? x

I know it's crap isn't it? When did it all begin with you? i was 13, living at home, still carried on when i moved out but once in got pregnant i was generally ok, but 2 week after having Jayden i was back to it. I ended up blurting alot out to my sister last night, we got drunk, first time in 16 month omg! but i don't think she remembered thank god! xx

I was 14, i still dont know why it started but it all happened pretty fast and before I knew it i was in too deep for the next couple of years before getting pregnant and then things had to change! But i never for a minute thought that would be the end of it forever, I knew I'd be back here at one point or another! Hopefully your sis doesn't remember! xx

She hasn't mentioned it today so think i'm in the clear! I have visions of me being 60odd and still label checking for everything, its scary. xx

 

[Sarah10]

Yeah thats what I thought but in the back of my mind I know exactly who wrote it to me. Thanks girls

in real life or someone online?Xx

 

[_laura]

Yeah thats what I thought but in the back of my mind I know exactly who wrote it to me. Thanks girls

in real life or someone online?Xx

In real life. The guy that lead me to my ED to begin with. He's the only one that knows how to say the things that make my head switch.

I have visions of me being 60odd and still label checking for everything,

I see myself doing the same, even worse is I see myself doing it infront of my son, and that scares me the most. I don't want him to know my habits and things I do to get out of calories

 

[Sarah10]

Yeah thats what I thought but in the back of my mind I know exactly who wrote it to me. Thanks girls

in real life or someone online?Xx

In real life. The guy that lead me to my ED to begin with. He's the only one that knows how to say the things that make my head switch.

I have visions of me being 60odd and still label checking for everything,

I see myself doing the same, even worse is I see myself doing it infront of my son, and that scares me the most. I don't want him to know my habits and things I do to get out of calories

how horrible of him, i bet you are glad he is gone and you're with you o.h now and u have Max
Its hard now jayden's eating he looks at me funny so i make out i'm eating what he's having, i know it'l get harder though as he gets older xx

 

[_laura]

Yeah its more the fact that I dread a binge and purge infront of Max when he's aware of what I'm doing.
God even now when he watches me eat I'm thinking how to go about things when he's on solids!
And I honestly am so happy in my relationship at the moment. He fucked me up a long time ago and I regret the fact that he's always going to be there in the back of my head taunting me

 

[Sarah10]

Yeah it's weird how even though you can be really happy now, things always come back in your mind to make you feel shit, even though they aren't relevant (i.e now you are in a happy relationship and have baby Max) and my background with parents triggered mine, even though i've moved out ages ago it didn;t go away)
xxx