Hi, everyone!
My name is Wyn; I'm 32 years old, 5'5" tall and weighed in at 312.5lbs (about 22.3 stones). My BMI is measured to be 52, and I've been diagnosed with PCOS. I've been married for 12 years to the most wonderful man in the universe and we've been trying to conceive for a DECADE.
Now, I haven't yet had any blood work or an ultrasound, but I got two positives from home pregnancy tests and another positive from a urine test from the ER. (Which is where I was
trying to get seen for blood work and ultrasound, but they refused me, crying they were 'too overburdened.') At this point, both my husband and I are unemployed and living with my parents--as a result, we have no income, nor insurance. So, we've had to deal with the charity hospital--which is horrible, from all I can tell and from what I've experienced.
I'm scared to death. I've never gotten a positive from a home pregnancy test, ever. We've been trying for so long that I honestly thought I was barren, that we'd never be blessed with a child. Just when I was crying, lamenting bitterly over friends who recently announced their pregnancies, asking God why....it turns out that I HAD gotten pregnant. Of course, every bit of my much-scarred heart doesn't want to let me be happy about this, to dare to believe that I could bring a healthy baby to term.
I'm scared of so, so many things going wrong. At this point, I'm pretty sure that I'm past the point of an ectopic pregnancy, but there are so many other worries I have and waiting for my appointment date with the charity hospital's OB clinic is horrible. Just horrible. Imagine my horror when, on the 27th, I went to the charity hospital and registered for the free treatment (with notarized paperwork stating that neither of us, me or my husband, have any income)...and was told that the OB clinic wasn't a "walk-in" place--despite the fact that my mother had called them a few days in advance to find out what we needed to do, and the woman from the OB clinic said to "just come up to the 3rd floor," where the OB clinic is located.
I was devastated... And, scared. So, that's when I went down and drove around to the ER portion of the charity hospital in the hopes of AT LEAST getting some blood work done--to check my hCG levels, to ensure it wasn't ectopic and whatnot... After waiting for over three hours, they had me give them a urine sample, an hour and a half after that, they called me in for the "exam," which consisted of the ER doctor saying, "Welp, you're pregnant!"
I tried to explain my concerns to him, but he seemed to think I was overreacting--which may be true, but ffs, I'd like to be safe rather than sorry. He kept asking, "WHY are you so concerned about an ectopic pregnancy? You're about 10-11 weeks along, based on your last menstrual period. Ectopics don't last past 8 weeks." I said, "Wellllll, I'm morbidly obese, I have PCOS, I've been TRYING to conceive for an actual DECADE, I'm closer to 35 than not, and I may NOT have conceived directly after my last menstrual period. I could be as little as six weeks!"
He did an abdomen pressing exam--from which I felt no pain--and told me it's normal for me to feel cramping, even all throughout the day, due to round ligament pain and the uterus stretching. To which I said, "Yeah, but it's really easy to say that and gloss over the fact that I might still have an ectopic pregnancy." He said, "The only way we can tell is if we do an ultrasound, and we're not doing one, today. I can get you a high risk appointment with the OB clinic, but it'll still probably be next week, at the earliest." I said, "Don't bother. They already put me off until the 9th of July. Is that soon enough for you?" He rolled his eyes and said, "Yes, ma'am." Then, he abandoned me. Didn't tell me to stay behind for paperwork or anything. So, I just left. I was so mad. Not even blood work?!
So, here I am. A week away from that appointment--after which I hope to have a good-news ultrasound and an actual due date (with which I can apply for Medicaid)--I'm going a little crazy. I'm trying very hard to just think positive thoughts and not freak out over anything. Stress won't help anything. Sorry to write such a long, rambling post for my very first one... But, I needed to get it all off my chest... And, around mommies-to-be that might be able to commiserate/sympathize with me.