any other over 35 first time mums?

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

Clio: yes we will be sending the picture of thiago and Santa to Brasil too. We already got the Christmas card ordered. And when I first got to the US I would say my English was about 40% of what it is now. I understood more than I was able to speak. My husband was really patience with me. The language of love . He helped me a lot!! I always laugh when I remember meeting his family and his mom and aunt would speak to me really slow and really loud !! I understand the slow but the loud . Maybe they thought I was deaf or something.
And I remember you mentioning that you and angel like to keep your boys clothing on something simple and comfy. I am the oposite . I love to dress up thiago!!! If I had bunches of money the boy would have a super wardrobe. I love that my mother in law loves to shop and she always wants to buy him more clothes and pay for it . She is the best! And I told myself that he will wear an outfit at least once before it doesn't fit. So far I think I just missed a couple of outfits . When my dad was here he counted thisgo's clothes!!! He said that at the time the boy had 150 outfits. But I did made the point that some of the clothes are for when he gets a little older. I just love it. I am glad that I do not have a little girl though or I would be bamkrupted by now !!! Oh, I don't know if you have target in Canada, but they are now offering Gwen stefani baby clothing line . It is sooo cute. Very rocker looking clothes. For boys and girls.
And by the way, we love your long posts. This thread wouldnt be the same without your lovely stories and replies .

Storm: glad you had a better night. I can just imagine that you are getting anxious about going back to work too.

Leeze: glad that you are all moved in. When we moved to this house my dad was here and in 3 days him and I unpacked everything!!! We are kind of type A personalities and I didn't have a baby at the time. Talking about type A I am so proud of me that my house is finally a mess. I was sooo crazy about leaving the house organized but now I could care less. Babies change your life don't they. How is work?

Claire: so sorry you are still having terrible sleep. I hope to win the lottery and buy you, kosh, storm and angel a week vacation to a wonderful destination and have your kids be taking cared by wonderful baby sitters while you are away. It must be awful! I already feel like crap when thiago doesn't sleep well for a night or two!! I cannot imagine an every day thing.

Kosh: how is little Gael doing? And you?

Skeewek and Charlie: how are our little baby girls doing? Hope you are surviving the night feedings.

Angel: how is Dominic? Hope he is sleeping better.

Sabrina: we had a great thanksgiving too. Must have gained 5 pounds in a sitting. Delicious. Thiago did great and had a little bit of thanksgiving dinner. He enjoyed the mashed potato and sweet potato ( ) but his favorite was the stuffing ( my favorite too). So I am really tryin to make him eat more textured food. Although I have to say I put his food on his tray and he did not want to feed himself. He just touched the mashed potato a little but that was about it. I had to give him the food in his mouth. I wonder if he will be one of this kids that doesn't like to get dirty . Maybe my type A personality has passed to his genes .
And last night he slept great after ll the stimulation that he had on thanksgiving. He went down at 9 pm and slept till 6 am and I fed him and he snored ( he really did ) till 8:30am. Loved it!!!

Night night ladies. Hope you all sleep well.

 

[AngelUK]

Borboleta that has to be the cutest pic EVER! He looks like the most perfect little Christmas elf ever! That will make such a sweet Christmas card Soo soo adorable!

Clio I envy you for the self settling. Now neither of my boys do it And as for naps, I haven't even attempted that yet. So far they still nap in their bouncies and I sit by them and bounce them with my feet while watching tv.
What you say about J being quiet when he hears you makes sense in a way. He then knows his parents are about and he is not alone I guess and then feels safe to go to sleep maybe? Aww!
I wish we could do that stay in the crib thing, I really do but with two crying when the other cries...
I did IUI and fertility meds to get pregnant with my boys. Mind you, the "fault" was OH's as he had to many antibodies in his sperm but they said the fertility stuff would enhance our chances from 8% to 16% or something, even with IUI. At any rate, should we ever dtd again (it was a year in August and sorry if TMI), I at least know that the chances of me getting pregnant are something below 1%. Which is probably a good thing (even though Skweek's and Charlie's pics make me broody ).
Oh and did I mention already how utterly sweet I think that pic of J in your siggy? That boy is so cute!

Storm how was the night after the yoghurt incident? Not too bad I hope? I am so glad you found out that it was lactose intolerance that made L so unsettled. I am sure now it is only a matter of time and of staying off the lactose till she sleeps better consistently too.
I hope the visit to your mum's cousin wasn't too horrible and the poor man is feeling as good as possible under the circs.

Claire I am sorry you are still having such a hard time. I suppose there is no chance that Lucy has some sort of intolerance too that keeps her waking so often? I am not surprised she isn't feeling happy. I know how I feel after a night of constant wakings, topped with a cold. Poor little girl! And poor you Hopefully you get to sleep a little this weekend

Rowan Looking forward to seeing scan piccies of Michael
And yay for Martha working out her walker. But then, of course she did, she is such a clever young lady We are thinking of getting our boys one for xmas. Which one do you have and can you recommend it?
Your birth story sounds totally frightening! I am so glad you are both ok and there is definitely nothing wrong with M's brain! She is our clever Wunderkind afterall
As for your birth this time, I am crossing my fingers in advance that it will go smoothly for you

Sabrina I am so sorry you missed your family. Can totally understand it, as I miss mine (well, my mum anyway) during German/Swiss holidays that don't get celebrated here.
Grr at your OH for "washing the dishes", how like a man! On the whole I cannot complain about mine but he never ever tidies up after himself, NEVER! Last night he was too tired to cook which is fair enough and I popped out to get a McDonalds. I had a simple burger and no fries and wolfed that down fairly quickly. OH took ages over his quarter pounder and fries and watched tv at the same time. Usually I wait for him to finish before getting up but last night I just wanted to do the bottles and get ready for bed. Do you think he chucked the carton boxes? Uh, no! This morning I found them as was on the coffee table in the sitting room Actually the other night we were watching Michael McIntyre's new DVD. We both love him, he is so funny ! Anyway, he told this story about how his wife complained to him how he puts his plates next to the dishwasher but not in it and how that was of no help whatsoever to her. I looked pointedly at my OH and he said 'yes I know I do the same and I will remember in future'. I guess it didn't include disposing of burger cartons...
As for the cats being happy when being able to lick stuff, yeah ours is a thief too. He will lick everything there is about, even cold old tea! And he will even try to crawl into our plates while we are still eating! I call him Slinky Malinky although all I know of that fictional cat is that he becomes a thief at night. Must check the books out. Seems it is for preschool kids and is in rhymes, so that sounds fun.
Hope your sore throat is getting better. I recommend Ultra Chloraseptic Anaesthetic throat spray. It helped me the other day and within 2 days my sore throat was gone.

Leeze how is Kia? Is she still subdued? Must be so overwhelming for her to go to nursery and move to the new house. Hope she settles soon and is back to her sweet sunny self

As for us: Yes last night was better! We went to bed at 9:30 and lights out at 10. 11:20 Dominic shouted and cried for his bottle. Fed him and Sebastian. 12:15 Dom wanted his dummy. 4am Seb woke crying. Gave him his dummy but he continued whining but didn't want a bottle. Tried consoling and settling him for about half an hour but every time I thought he dropped off and I moved away he cried again. So I hovered over him stroking his face and kissing his nose and eyelids, which he loves, the cutie. At 4:30 Dom woke from Seb's renewed crying and wanted his bottle. Gave it him and spend another 20 minutes trying to settle him and Seb. Got to go back to sleep from 5 to 5.45 when both boys cried and I went in and changed overfull nappies. Went back to bed shortly after 6. Haha! Was up 10 minutes later and let the boys play in the half light in their cots till 7 when I got them up and changed their full nappies again. But yeah I had 1 and 4 hours sleep almost, so I guess that was better than before, so I am not too complainy I just wish I knew what was ailing my Seb last night. It isn't like him to wake and cry for so long.

Question for mums of toothy babies. Do you brush their teeth already and if so how often and how? That sounds stupid, cause of course I know how one brushes teeth. But how do you set about it, do you have a routine? Do you do it after every bottle and meal? How do your LOs react to it? I think I should start brushing Dom's little teeth right?

Hope you all had a good night and a lovely day. xxx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hey all its cold, it was minus 2 this am and L is dosed with the cold. This is a quickie as I'm at my dads and my brother and his kids are here (his wife is sleeping as she works nights) and hubby is at work.

Angel I brush L teeth as best as I can after breakfast and before bed, she's not a fan, she's happy to chew on the toothbrush with the smear of toothpaste but she doesn't like me doing it and considering I'm sure there are more teeth on the ay I don't blame her!

She's currently torturing her nearly 4 year old cousin.. better intervene!

 

[Borboleta]

Angel: we.bought thiago this baby toothbrush that fits on your finger and it comes with an Elmo toothpaste. He loves it!!! He giggles when we rub the thing on his gum. And we just do it before bed time although we should do it in the morning too like storm.

 

[skweek35]

hi ladies,
Thought I would just pop in here quick to let you know I am still around. Annabel is doing really well and getting chubbier by the day. She is feeding really well and sleeps for about 3 - 4 hours at a stretch. So night times aren't that bad (touch wood!!)
Me on the other hand am finding that the whole birth experience is finally catching up with me. Every time I even think of it I fall to tears. I really do need to talk to someone about it but just don't know where to start and don't know if OH will cope with me falling to tears at the mo.
Saying that he has written up my birth story from his eyes. There is a big part of me that wants to read it start to end, but every time I read a section of it, I start tearing up again.
I think its just the reality of what happened and horrific it all was that is starting to hit me now.
OH has emailed his story to our NCT teacher and she has offered to talk it through with us. I might take her up on offer sometime. Not sure whether I should chat to her before or after our debrief with the surgeon.

 

[SabrinaKat]

thanks, Angel - I'm using Difflam Spray, which helps and trying to drink loads of sparkling water, but I think it's less of a flu than exhaustion with a cold. and it's cold here, too -- but I went out to the store and was actually sweating in my coat, so I don't know what's wrong with me!

skweek- hugs!

teeth: -- I do have a toothbrush and toothpaste for milk teeth, but haven't really used much....I guess it's something to add to LO's bedtime routine....

last night - grumble. LO was awake around 12am and I was just so tired (the walking dead tired) that I waited as long as I could before going up to him - please note that it was my OH's night and he was in my OH's bedroom and was being cuddled, but he simply wanted mummy, so with aching bones, a dull throb of tiredness across my eyes, etc., I wandered upwards like a zombie and picked up LO from my OH, and LO was quiet. sigh....I helped out for a few minutes, but had to go back to bed...LO took ages to go back to sleep, but OH was with him. He was also up again around 4ish, and up early-ish this am, but...fell alseep for his morning nap in my OH's arms, so I was at least able to try to sleep (couldn't really)....sigh....TEETHING IS HORRIBLE! I am hopeful, tho, that LO seems to be getting a few more (he has 6 already in place, and 2 have broken through, so maybe he will be over teething sooner?)

oh, and borboleta -- your picture of thiago in his gobble, gobble sweater/sweatshirt on FB was so cute!

bye....!

 

[Leeze]

Just a quickie. Sorry again but so so tired and eyes hurting.
Skweek, I saw a Consultant 6 weeks after my c-section for a de-brief. Was a great idea and really helped me as I kept blaming myself and wondering if I could have done things differently. She was very patient and reassuring and it helped me a lot. Hugs xx. Thanks all for good wishes about kia and nursery. Means a lot. She seemed happier yesterday evening after nursery so hopefully she'll get used to it soon. I still find it hard though. Work is surreal, like being in a parallel universe. But it's good to eat lunch with 2 hands and read a magazine from start to finish!
Re teeth brushing, I normally brush my teeth at the same time and hand kia the toothbrush to suck on then try to finish off for her. We do in the morning after breakfast and just before bed xx

 

[Rowan75]

love the pic of thiago!

re walkers we have the vtech walker its fab - lots of buttons and things to do before they are walking and great as an actual walker - were borrowing ours off a friend but I think theyre about £20

re teeth - i attempt to brush twice a day but often forget the morning brush! when she had one tooth i just popped toothpaste on my finger and rubbed her gums but now we use a tiny toothbrush v cute!

skweek - hopefully the debrief will help hon - big hugs - if you google there are some fab sounding birth trauma counselors out there which may help - some even dont charge for a first chat and some have groups where you can meet other mams too x

we went to a fab 4th bday party yest - M loved it - she marched up and down the whole venue - we even had to investigate the kitchen lol she cracks me up!

 

[Borboleta]

Skeewek: Whenever I see a birth of tv still makes me sad to think that I was never able to experience thiago's first cry since I was knocked out. It bothered me specially the first couple of months after his birth. I talked to my MIL about it and she kept telling me that I should be happy that he was here and healthy. But still a part of me wish I had that experience. And when I woke up from the anesthesia I didn't even remember I had a baby; maybe that is why I had difficulty connecting with him in the beggining.
We dream for 9 months of how our babies are going to come to this world and I have been noticing that a lot of us never had our dream births. Do what is right for you and if you need to talk to someone you should do it.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Ladies, those of you who had difficult births and subsequent regrets, please don't. I had a very straightforward birth with L, 6cm by the time I got to the hospital, just gas and air, some internal stitches and that's all. But do I remember a nice straightforward birth? No, I just remember the searing agony, crying and vomiting, crying to DH 'help me, help me I'm in agony', I don't remember if L cried when she came out, she was whisked away by the paed to check she was ok as I had meconium stained waters and then when they handed me her I just thought wow its a baby. I didn't even feel like she was my baby, we had 2 hellish nights in hospital and on the way home stopped at my parents were all my family were, to be told by my darling mum that she was dying. My world imploded, I had a baby I hadn't bonded with, my mum was living her last days and I didn't know what to do. I guess what I'm saying is that the easy birth probably wouldnt be what you imagine it would be and I do know how hard it can be, my friend had PND as a result of an unplanned emergency section, but ladies im so glad you and your little ones have survived and please get some help to help you come to terms with the trauma and don't feel bad, you all did a great job carrying your little ones and you never can plan for the birth part!

 

[Leeze]

I dunno if anyone else feels like this too, but I actually started to feel a lot better emotionally as I felt better physically. I felt butchered inside and out at first but as my body healed so did my mind! I rarely think about the birth now and my scar plus overhang have both lessened - plus my abdomen finally feels like part of me again. Storm, thanks for sharing. Just can't imagine how awful that was re your Mum xx

 

[AngelUK]

Just quickly as I am not feeling too grand and want to go to bed in a minute.

I just wanted to send you all lots of especially Storm. I cannot even imagine how dreadful that was.

Skweek I am so sorry it was so traumatic for you. I really hope the debriefing will help. I am sending lots of to you too.

Will hopefully have time tomorrow to write a proper post. xxx

 

[clio]

Hey everyone--sorry I've been MIA; it's been a busy weekend. But I've been reading the thread on and off during the past few days, and have to say, it is so nice to sit down and read pages of conversation.

I'm going to try and remember stuff but this won't be a very comprehensive post. Okay...

Re: the birth--I guess I'm different than all of you because I actually didn't want to be conscious for the birth. Seriously--it seemed like a lot of pain that I didn't want to go through. I was glad I got the c/s. But I also had absolutely no plans for my labour, and on purpose, too, other than I wanted the epi. I think I was just really, really afraid of it all. But it seems to me that enough women have been traumatized by their labour--as evidenced by many of you--that it really does make a difference if it doesn't go as planned. For those of you who had/are having trouble, I'm really sorry. Skweek, I think talking to the counsellor first might help you clarify any questions you have, and illuminate others that you hadn't thought about.

For the non-sleepers--I'm sorry it's still bad, or, in Angel's case, bad again. Angel, when you started your post with "it was a better night," and then described the night from hell I wanted to cry for you. SK, I'm sorry F won't settle for anyone but you; though it seems that in the end, he was starting to accept your OH. And I hope you're feeling better. And I'm glad your cold is gone, Angel. Regarding intolerances, my nephew went from being to dream, to becoming a nightmare around 6 months, to being a dream again at a year and a half when they realized that he had celiac disease. Once they cut out gluten out of his diet, he was a completely different child. I think it's fantastic, Storm that you figured it out (but not so fantastic that she's still not sleeping). Claire, maybe this is a possibility as someone (I'm sorry, I don't remember who!) suggested. Is she being BF or FF?

And I'm with Borboleta, I have no idea what having a non-sleeper would be like. Two bad nights and I'm shattered. I don't know if you guys really appreciate how much we really mean it when we say that we admire you. I am, for the most part, astonished by you. Storm, are you feeling any better yet? Did your husband finally take you seriously?

And Storm, I'm a bit confused (but not in a bad way--just a very curious way) as to why my question about the division of labour made you laugh. I hate how the internet doesn't allow for nuance. So, did you think I was joking, or were you joking? Because I was dead serious. Am I being naive? (I'm often naive. Don't worry, you can tell me.)

Borboleta--I should check out Target (it's just come here, but only a pared down version of it. Apparently we're in for the real deal this year, with the food and everything). Thing is, I can get so much expensive stuff for so cheap at Once Upon a Child--the second hand store--that Target and even Walmart would cost me more to shop there. All of his clothes are Children's Place, Osh Kosh, Please Mum, Baby Gap, Gymboree and even Mexx, and all for around 5 bucks a piece, with some Carter's thrown in there. I always buy too much, too, and even get mad when he's only worn an outfit once. Of course, once I stop dressing him in sleepers with sweats over top when we go out, then perhaps I'll get more mileage out of the nicer stuff.

So we went to our free Gymboree music class on Saturday, and I'm so glad I didn't have to pay for it. (The other one we went to was the Learn and Play one.) J was bored and kept wandering off to stare at a door with round stickers on it because it was more interesting. (They probably thought he was a bit slow...) And he kept doing things like collecting all of the rattles and putting them back in the box, even though they were supposed to be scattered around for the LOs to grab, because Oma had been working on the concept of "in" and "out" with him. Then he sat on the big drum everyone was hitting, which caused a stampede because then all the other babies wanted to sit on it. And, to top it off, we were supposed to carry our LOs around in a circle, swaying them to the music, and J revealed his new word, "DOWN!!!", and insisted that he walk the circle, which slowed everybody else down to a crawl behind us. We were both glad when the class was over, and after we got in the car, J yodelled the entire way home.

But there was one thing we did get out of it. J has been clapping for a while, but never if you ask him to. When we were at the class, part of a song was "clap clap clap" and although J refused to, one little girl actually clapped. And everyone cried: "YES Emily!!! That's RIGHT Emily!!!" Now if you ask J to clap, he claps immediately, and then looks at us expectantly, waiting for us to praise him to the high heavens. Little glory whore. Though imagine what I could get him to do if I offered him cookies...

Okay, I'm going to watch some TV and ignore all of J's toys around the living room. I'm sorry this was such a non-personals-post. Too much to remember and too tired to even try! Love to you all!

 

[clio]

Oh, I forgot to ask. I'm always curious when those of you who have your LOs in daycare talk about what they eat (chicken, for example). What form do they give it in? Is it still pureed? Or are they expected to eat lumps or even finger foods?

 

[Storm1jet2]

Morning all! Clio I laughed cause my dh although very good with L during the day doesn't o nights with her, mostly cause she sleeps with me and partly cause she only wants me! He did a few times when she was younger, but he let her cry more than I was comfortable with and I could hear her and could never seem to stop myself stepping in. I really dont know how things will work.out when I'm back at work!

As for nursery food its all sorts of things, sweet and sour chicken, potato and leek soup, roast dinner etc.. with snacks of fruit, breadsticks, sausage rolls(?) etc and whatever form you specify, so Lydia gets mashed and finger food at my request. The nursery have their own chef who cooks every day and they believe in a widely varied diet of food from different cultures, I guess at least she gets to try food I wouldn't make. As a backup I leave fruit puree pouches in her bag and she will at least take those if she's not keen on the food.

That said we are dosed with the cold so there isnt much eating goingvon in our house and she won't take her milk which is stressing me out! 3oz this am after a 3 hour battle! I'm making some rice pudding in the slow cooker this am to see if she will eat that. Her eating is terrible with this cold.

We were meant to be going to lunch now for FILs 70th birthday but L and I are too poorly, dh is probably pleased to be escaping!

Yuk I feel stinky, L is napping so feet up for ten minutes...

 

[Storm1jet2]

Quick question, did many of you have birth plans? Mine was pretty much get the baby out preferably without forceps. I was hoping for just gas and air but was begging for an epidural or pethidine during the actual birth, but it was too late!

 

[Rowan75]

storm big hugs - what a nightmare for you that must have been x

birth plan - i said no forceps unless necessary and they were so that was that lmao! no birth plan this time at all - apart from not to shout "bottom" every contraction lmao! so funny when I think about it now! M was back to back and the normal contractions I could cope with but oh the contractions that went up my bum - hee hee each one I would shout "bottom" it does make me laugh now!

going to make cheese sandwiches for me and M yum

have a good day everyone x

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Rowan I did laugh, L was back to back, she turned on the way out and I kept crying I need to do a pooooo, oh poooooo feeling.... Haha I couldnt feel anything at the front it was all in my butt!

 

[SabrinaKat]

hey, gang --

re: birth. I wanted a c-section (made sure with our private ob-gyn that she was okay with that when had our first meeting at 9wks), and got one...well, an emergency one, but that was fine with me. My only issue was that because it was an emergency one, I didn't have a chance to get an injection/painkillers in my hands (remember the carpal tunnel) and was afriad that I wouldn't get to hold LO for very long, which sadly, I had to hand over LO to my OH within a few minutes as my hands were cramping, etc., AND that the anti-depressant was still in my system (low dose) as they recommend decreasing from wks 36 to 40, but given that I had such bad pre-eclampsia, they had to take him out that day, so he was rather sleepy for a few days. Overall, the last weeks of my pregnancy were a bit scary (excessive swelling, etc) so was just mainly relieved when we had LO safely 'out'.

Still have a cold (which does feel like razor blades on my throat (LOL) and LO has a little runny nose and a wee cough, but no temperature and no chesty cough, so am crossing my fingers that he will be okay sooner rather than later.

I had a huge argument with my OH last night and although I'll spare the details, he basically believes that he does do everything around the house and thinks the house stays decent looking because he cleans alot -- I'm not sure how he manages that with a full-time job and looking after the baby completely on his own every single night, with me just sitting on the internet and/or watching TV, refusing to 'help out' -- poor man, according to him, he hasn't had any free time since the baby came. I thought you'd all be amused (perhaps) about his 'logic'.

hope all are well...must dash. I need to not put some salmon in the oven with some potatoes, after of course, I didn't hoover/vacuum the living room and stairs, didn't make some bottles, didn't clean the cat litter trays etc. It's so nice just to sit and watch TV, eating chocolate bon-bons!

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[clio]

I had a huge argument with my OH last night and although I'll spare the details, he basically believes that he does do everything around the house and thinks the house stays decent looking because he cleans alot -- I'm not sure how he manages that with a full-time job and looking after the baby completely on his own every single night, with me just sitting on the internet and/or watching TV, refusing to 'help out' -- poor man, according to him, he hasn't had any free time since the baby came. I thought you'd all be amused (perhaps) about his 'logic'.

hope all are well...must dash. I need to not put some salmon in the oven with some potatoes, after of course, I didn't hoover/vacuum the living room and stairs, didn't make some bottles, didn't clean the cat litter trays etc. It's so nice just to sit and watch TV, eating chocolate bon-bons!

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

Though, where is his head at???

All I've got time for at the mo--must feed J breakfast.