any other over 35 first time mums?

[Storm1jet2]

Clio I love your posts, love the detail and hearing how J is developing. I too am pretty shy, well less so now that when I was younger and no one in work would believe it for a second! I'm quite the Rottweiler in work, I guess I know my job and don't suffer fool's gladly or lazy people or those who spend in ordinate amounts of time trying to get round the process which is there for a reason.. sigh. Can't believe this time next week I will be back in the office, I don't even know if any of my clothes fit!

Well we had a rough night, not entirely sure what L ate but she rounded the day off with a good chew on a compressed wood chipping fire log! She was on her seesaw merely rocking away while dh, my dad and I all chatted and I swear in 2 seconds she was munching on the wood with 3 adults less than 1m away from her and we didn't notice! I'm sure that didn't help her digestion..

Oh her cousins have arrived for round two, better go and I was hoping L was going for a nap.. not now!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh and Angel I was dreading being the bride, I hate attention, turns out I had bigger things to worry about, I started vomiting in the hotel the night before the wedding when I was up with the table decorations. By the time I got back to my parents where I was staying, I had full on explosive vomiting and diarrhoea! It took 8 immodium, 2 anti sickness injections and an inch of makeup to get me to my own wedding. I felt horrendous! On the upside I wasn't nervous but I wanted to curl up and die and couldnt eat any of the meal, evening buffet or drink anything. It was also the big unexpected freeze, we had a foot of snow and it reached minus 15 which for us is freak weather... Ho hum but I did get married

 

[SabrinaKat]

Just a quick note --

I survived MIL and her behaviour increasingly became more amusing than annoying, if that makes sense, e.g. she refers to her six months in hospital (following suicide attempt) as 'being poorly' and refers to incidents in hospital as if to 'better' stories, e.g. Finn can drink from his sippy cup all by himself, but my MIL comments that she could only drink from a sippy cup because she was too 'weak' (WTF?), or when I mentioned how swollen I was from the pre-eclampsia, she then related her entire story of my OH's birth (3wks late and delivered with forceps, I guess I had it easy) and/or will make comments (negative) about her sister who sent along a bag of clothes, commenting how cheap her sister is, but then keeping everything but one blouse...I guess overall, it's a sense of feeling disrespected in my own house (we wear slippers in the living room as I hoover there every morning, but she not only wore shoes, but kept tapping the hardwood floor (resolved in a nice way by suggesting that she might be more comfortable sans shoes), complaining about everything, suggesting that I am spoiling LO because we changed his pjs when he woke up to a day outfit to another babygro to sleep in, giving us second hand toys and chocolate for the baby (WTF?), and a variety of other things....Maybe I'm being petty, but my OH doesn't help at times, e.g. he made the Christmas dinner and said it would be ready in a few minutes -- I went downstairs about ten minutes later (our kitchen is downstairs from the living room) as I thought all of us would eat Christmas dinner together as a family, but my MIL was already eating! I stormed off with LO and my MIL continued eating -- my OH couldn't understand why I was upset -- fair enough that his timing was off in relation to the food, but I wanted all of us together for 'dinner'....Also, none of the food I prepared (pumpkin pie, etc) was offered nor was any of the food I wanted (sweet potatoes, etc) done either, so it felt like I was the outsider in my own house. I've tried to see my OH's side of it, but he refuses to see mine -- I am grateful that he did the cooking, but it felt like it was all for my MIL's benefit and not for mine or LO's -- if that makes sense (please tell me if you think I was out of line, as perhaps I am being unreasonable)....

I'd rate this Christmas as 6/10, though -- the worst was 2009 when I got my AF on the day (we'd been trying again since the mc the previous August), my FIL was home from the nursing home (dying of cancer), my MIL took to her bed on the 26th for three days because she couldn't handle it, but kept mentioning my BIL and their two children, etc., so I know what a 0/10 day can be!

well, that's my scrooge for the day -- LO is ok (although we had a coughing party at 2-3am), but when he woke up at 7am, somehow by mind control, I was able to persuade him to go back to sleep until almost 9am, so am actually in a good mood (all of us!), and perhaps that's the key -- I can laugh at the situations regarding my MIL when I've had enough sleep, but do find it hard when I'm sleep deprived....

well, sorry for the me-only post, but want to also say -- loved seeing all the fb and here photos of LOs over the holidays!, but I think the middle picture of Finn looks like a German hausfrau (I am German descent), but he is awfully cute (and yes, he screamed and started crying when he saw my MIL on the 24th and throughout the 25th, but when he met my BIL, was all smiles -- so think his sanity radar is pretty good)!

bye!!!!!!!

p.s. ok, not so quick...oh, and have started saving for Christmas next year with my parents!

 

[Rowan75]

gah. still no sleep...please go away germs - cold spread to chests and nasty cough plus M is teething terribly - I have never seen so much drool!!!

shes fighting a nap now but oh my I neeed to sleep if she does...4 hours sleep in 5 days is not enough...poor Michael how is he even growing?! plus Im sure you ladies can remember how challenging it is getting out of bed when heavily pg - oh lordy every 20 mins then trying to get M out of cot, sitting on floor rocking her for hours then trying to stand up whist carrying her to put her back in the cot - I am so sorry to moan but its really been a struggle this week...

gah best go and give cuddles feel so bad that she feels so bad!

x

 

[SabrinaKat]

hugs to both M1 and M2 -

my LO's cough and slight cold back....very frustrating, so sympathy!

bye!!!!!!!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Rowan I feel for you. L has been a nightmare today with teething and last night and its been driving me nuts and I'm not pregnant! Poor you, I hope you get some sleep soon!

SK I think you are totally justified, sounds like your oh just tried to please his mum and pushed you out of the way, how rude. Men (sorry to the exceptions) seem to generally not think! I had a massive fight with dh today, he was at home, I was at my dads, I had to chase him by text to see when he was coming down, he arrived at 11, then he thought he was waltzing off to see his parents without L before going home for a sleep before work. Man was I mad, then he said he 'didnt mind if he had to take L' and I went mad hissing 'SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER!', is been up for half the night with her teething and tummy issues and he thought he was off for a jolly! He rarely takes her to their house and then I found out they were doing a small boxing day lunch and we were not invited! FFS they have one grandchild in NI and they don't want to see her at Christmas? I'm beyond livid, oh and as for a present, twenty quid in a card, no thought, no effort, they couldn't even be arsed going to Tesco and buying her a jumper... Oops sorry this rant has moved to the in laws when really it was about dh seeming to think L is some kind of extra curricular activity..... Arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh and the card was just a standard out if a packet One, no effort for a baby's first Christmas one. My brother's and dad bought her a pile of first Christmas stuff, pink ride on car, fisher price game, singing bear, hat and gloves, coat, slippers, book, personalised Christmas tree baubke etc etc.. aka put effort in! Ok I'm stopping, really I am... Letting it go now...

 

[SabrinaKat]

storm -- my MIL gave me back the present I bought her last year (fortunately, I buy presents for other people that I myself like (it was Crabtree and Evelyn Rose bath jel, soap and hand lotion)), so it's funny in a way, I suppose! (and my parents sent loads of pressies from USA, including clothes, toys, even an NFL sweatshirt for LO)....

oh, and my MIL commented to my OH: 'She (me) really loves that baby' (again WTF?)

oh, well....I survived and LO is fine -- we tried to put him down for sleep around 8, but he woke up around 9 and we're watching TV, etc., and hoping that if we have a party now, we might not have one at 2am....

ok, enough complaining about the in-laws! hope that all had, are having, etc., a fantastic boxing/stephen's day/december 26th!

bye!!!!!!!!

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

Hope you all had a great Christmas.

Rowan: so sorry M is not feeling well. I can just imagine how hard it is to take care of a little one and being pregnant and having the big belly on the way!! Let's keep hoping the winter will go by soon and no more germs for a while. And hope your husband's toe is doing better. Is your name cheryl? I don't know why I was mistaken you by storm!!! I am going crazy I guess !!!

Sabrina: I cannot believe what your husband did to you at Christmas!!! I would. Be furious too ! Not even put your food on the table!! And you MIL sounds very "interesting" !! Very strange comment about you loving your baby!! So are we not suppose to love them?
Finn looks sooooo cute on his little reminder outfit. Those cheeks ... I am telling you too kissable!! Who does he looks like?

Storm: your in laws are something too!! Whenever than come visit you next time you should show them everything your dad gave to L . Rub it in!!! And your husband too ... I agree with you ... Men!!! I had to ask my husband to help me more with T when we go to his parents house. He just sits in the couch and talks to everybody and I don't get to do that. He got the message and did better the last 2 days .

Clio: I would never imagine you as an introvertide person. But I can understand when you say that when you write the other side of you just comes out.
Now I would describe myself as outgoing ( I guess I have to be since I teach fitness classes ). I am not the social butterfly but I will talk to people and try to engage in conversations. I don't have loads on friends and enjoy being just me, glen and thiago. I am calm but if you stir the pot you will not get the best of me . And I think thiago is a little like that. I do try to be fair and try to see both sides of the story even if I don't agree with you .

Our Christmas was lovely. My MIL is awesome!!! She cooked everything, and it was delicious!!! Thiago still has his cold and hasn't eaten very well in a couple of days. He was a little crabby due to the cold but had sweet moment too . He had a lot of people walking him around which he loved. Everyone was joking that the needed to run away when thiago was coming their way otherwise we would be stuck!! he got some beautiful toys for Christmas and everyone enjoyed him very much.

Question: what size shoes do your LOs wear? Thiago is a size 5!!!! I know he is on the 90% for height but size 5?!
And how long a baby cold lasts? He is going for 2 weeks. Still the runny nose and a bit of cough. Can't wait for him to feel better. My poor little man.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Howdy, well L and I just had a trip to Tesco where she lost one of her shoes! Doh, we then had to go to Clark's which is another 5 miles away and face all the sale shoppers to get new ones! Same pewter colored ones as before but at least they were half price....

CC is a bit hit and miss, seems I can only get her to stay in her cot til 4 and that's with an hours meltdown in the middle, then at 4 she wants a bottle and in with me... I am so not getting up for the day at 4! Dont know what to do.. hmmm

 

[SabrinaKat]

well, my OH took LO last night and although LO did fall asleep by 11ish (remember went originally to sleep around 8, woke up around 10 for a party, crying/sobbing (teething?) and then fell asleep but another party at 3am, but I didn't even wake up for that one! Guess I must have been tired...

borboleta -- Finn had a cold for about three weeks, but we used olbas oil (not sure if available in the us), vicks baby chest rub and a little calpol (tylenol) before every nap/sleep, which helped loads. Unfortunately, for babies, there's not much else you can do (for instance, I would have honey and lemon for my throat, but you can't give to a baby....)

hope all are well. LO is waking up from a nap.....

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[clio]

SK--You were not in the slightest bit acting ridiculous--I was shocked when I read that they started Christmas dinner without you and didn't make or serve your special food. I assume for you, as for us over here, it's a big family deal, and you wait for everyone. As for the rest of her behaviour, she must have driven you round the bend.

As for this supposed Hausfrau look, that's just plain ridiculous. He looks adorable!

Oop! I've got to go... I'll finish up personals later!

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

Not a good night for us. Thiago went down at 8:15pm woke up at 10pm but I was able to put him back down then woke up again at 12:30pm and didn't go to sleep until 2:30am and then up again at 5:30am but was able to put him back down and woke up for good at 7:30am. He hasn't been eating well ( maybe having a tiny bit of food yesterday morning and then no more food but his bottle). So after struggling trying to put him down for 2 hours I told me husband to give him a bottle and he drank the whole thing and again at 5:30am I just went in his room with a bottle and he drank the whole thing again. Maybe he was just hungry or stuffed up . I think I am going to take him to see his doctor to rule out an ear infection.

We had to put his walker away because now he wants to walk with the walker holding with just ONE hand on the handle !!! Where does he comes up with that stuff !!
Talk to you ladies soon.

 

[AngelUK]

Hello ladies, sorry I have been MIA a bit. I haven't had much time lately for one reason or another.
Thank you all for your compliments about my boys

Clio Your wedding sounds lovely Did you get to wear a nice dress? That is probably my one small regret that I shall never get to wear a wedding dress. Mind you I would first have to manage to get really slim anyway cause I wouldn't want to be a rotund bride
I probably wouldn't mind lecturing either oddly enough, especially with slide shows where not all eyes would constantly be on me. But I can understand why you are nervous too. It's been a year since you last lectured I guess? Do you trial run your lectures with your OH and vice versa? You said you and he have the same style, so I wondered if that is why? Seems you have a busy few days before you start. Though I can imagine getting your hair done will give you a boost too so I think you should do that before you buy your new clothes. I personally hate clothes shopping but if I feel especially ugly that day then it will be an even worse experience than usual But having fresh hair and so forth would help me too.
Sorry J is still off his milk though. Could you smuggle in some with cereals or porridge? How about fromage frais. It is dairy and might count? Or is that off due to BLW and self feeding? My boys love it but I do still TW.


Leeze I totally understand that you felt the need to tease your MIL with the cat . Sometimes ppl act as if safety and babies is something that hasn't crossed our mind before they mention it. My mum is one for such comments, though mainly about how my boys aren't dressed warmly enough. Sigh. I know it is well meant but grr.

Rowan how are you feeling now? I am sorry M wasn't well and you got so little sleep. I am hoping things are better now.

Sabrina my jaw dropped when I read what your OH did with the food. I cannot believe he did this to you! I think I would have cried, what with missing my family etc as well. Even if he is used to informal, if there is one meal in the year where you wait for everyone, it surely is Christmas! I hope he made it up to you!
I loved Finn's pictures! He is so sweet and cuddly looking in that reindeer outfit! And what lovely blue eyes he has. I don't know what you see when you compare him to a Hausfrau lol What an idea lol I think he looks cute!

Borboleta I am glad your Christmas was so lovely. I loved the picture of the beautifully laid table on FB. That reminded me so much of how my mum always does the table at home! So lovely and festive!
I hope Thiago will be sleeping better tonight. You must be so tired!
And about Thiago and walking with only one hand for support, I think you have a little latin macho man in the making

Storm I am sorry your in laws didn't make more of an effort. For some ppl Christmas is just not that important I guess? My friend Andrea's fiancé comes from such a family. His mum gave him a box of shop bought biscuits for Christmas last year. And in their first year together he gave Andrea a small bottle of very un-special massage oil and a cheapo sudoku puzzle booklet. Needless to say that that was the last crappy present he got her as she made her wishes more clear after that.
I so agree that starting one's day at 4 is not on! The night before last, Dominic woke at 4:30 and wanted that second bottle that he wants every night- even though he hasn't gotten one in 3 weeks- and after that he wouldn't sleep any more. Could it be that L wants to drink then too? You said she used to get juice? Might she still remember that? I wish I could offer any advice but I haven't got any for our own situation either.

As for us, as mentioned above, Dominic is still not getting the message that he is no longer getting that second night feed. Depending on when he got his midnightish feed, this can mean that he will be up for the day at 4am. The night before last he was awake at 4:30 and would not go back to sleep. I had not been sleeping well anyway and only dozed here and there. So as a result I was so tired and depressed yesterday that I even cried when Dominic wouldn't stop whining in the afternoon! I guess he was tired too cause that is the only time he really whines. But I feel much better today as I managed to sleep till 10 today I just hope tonight will be better as I am on the nightshift again.
Our Christmas was... ok I guess. The lovely part was that OH really really spoilt me with lovely presents. He is so generous and sweet!
The not so lovely part was that MIL and SIL arrived at shortly after 5pm instead of 3 and of course the turkey was dry, the sprouts overcooked and so was the red cabbage. OH had to chuck the latter two and used pre-prepared stuff for the microwave instead which he had bought to maybe go with left overs the next day. It was just not as good as his own stuff would have been and of course since the boys eat at 6:30 and go to bed right after that, MIL and SIL had to leave shortly before 6:30. So it was a very short visit. On top of that they apparently had had a huge fight before arriving at our place so there was a bit of an atmosphere. The whole thing was just not very festive. But oh well, next year we will hopefully go to my parents' house in Switzerland with the boys and then things will be more like I am used to having them. Plus the boys can then finally meet their cousins, though I suppose a gap of over 2 and 4 years in age might make playing with them improbable.

Do any of you have any New Years Eve plans or are you like us, staying at home due to your LOs? I don't mind really. We used to always go to a comedy club or see a stand up comedian on New Years Eve but I never really liked the drunken crowds in the heart of London. Quite frightening to someone who doesn't drink alcohol at all. I have only been drunk once in my life. I was 18 and I made an utter fool of myself, so I swore never again. Plus I never liked the taste and sensation of alcohol in my throat, so it was not hard to abstain after that. OH doesn't drink either. He stopped when he felt he was drinking too much at the age of around 30. I just hope he will stick to his New Year resolution to give up smoking for good too. Hope springs eternal, right?

I hope you are all well, sending to you all. xxx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hello, first of all, what the heck is a hausfrau? I'm assuming its not complementary and I'm too lazy to google it on my phone, but F is just gorgeous! SK can't believe your mil comments about loving your son, by heck she's weird. I love L to bits, can't stop squeezing her and kissing her chubby little cheeks. That said I think my in laws think I'm too hands on with her, but believe me I won't be taking parenting advice from them!

Clio is J still refusing milk? What does he drink? L is taking milk at 4am (yawn) and again at bed, between 14 and 18oz, but i would struggle to get milk into her in the morning if it wasn't for the 4am wake up call, which is bothersome.

Borboleta, young T is going to keep you on your toes, maybe you won't have to start running at all! I'm going to have to start exercising, going back to a desk job is going to push my weight up even more... Sigh...

Angel I wouldn't mind if the in-laws didn't bother much at Christmas, but they just don't bother much full stop. They usually visit about once a month for just over an hour, they live twenty minutes away.... Given L is their only grandchild in NI, the 3 grandsons are in Suffolk I just don't get it! Their loss... As for the wedding dress, I only tried on 3, wish I had tried more and they are awkward things, heavy and hard to walk in! You aren't missing much . Oh and I give L a bottle at 4am, of milk

In other news its 2 more sleeps until my not so baby girl is a big one! In the last few weeks she has changed so much, she really is a little toddler. Still only taking a few steps on her own but a real wee independent stubborn strong willed pixie. She is so much fun these days and I'm back to work next week, gutted

Clairey I hope L has recovered and you are getting some sleep? I'm still working with L and the sleep but I have to say its been better for us both since she went to her own room. Don't get me wrong I'm still up with her but I honestly thing she had developed the habit of waking to see if I was still there and to throw herself on me, at least now we are both getting some blocks of sleep.

Skweek and Charlie how are you? Where have our other 2 New mums gone?

Tomorrow I'm collecting the food for Ls party, I'm just too tired to do it all myself! I need to find some serious motivation. Due to much leftover Christmas food I'm afraid the little lady is having a very festive party . Actually I think when she is older I might give her a half year party in June so she doesn't feel like she misses out.

Randomly I forgot to take my pill with me to my dads so thought I'd ditch this pack and seeing as we aren't DTD and there is no chance of me getting pregnant.. but now I think AF is on the way just in time for the party which is superbly bothersome...

OK, one finger typing is tiring so I'm off, night all! Sleepy dust to all xx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh and angel no new years eve plans as dh is working, again! I don't drink cause I can't face the hangovers anymore. One has to ask what you did that was so bad to put you off though!

 

[AngelUK]

Storm lol what I did is a bit of a joke now but back then and for years after I blushed all over to think of it. I was quite innocent at that age still and had a school girl crush on a guy I only ever saw at the nightclub my friends and I used to go to. I hardly had talked to him beyond hi and bye but I had found out lots about him. Such as that he was 8 years older than me, what he did in his free time, where he worked and where he lived. One evening my then friend Bettina and I were alone at my home in Zurich. She had plans to go out later with her boyfriend but for now we were bored. So we decided to try some champagne. I knew I didn't like it but what the heck. We drank one whole bottle between us and decided we felt nothing. So we drank another. I then called two male friends of mine that I had known all my life and who were sort of like brothers to me. They came over and the younger promptly made out with Bettina while his older brother tried to distract me. I tried to get Tom off her, even pulling on his leg while they were naked on my brothers bed! How embarrassing lol But worse was to come. When the boys left due to me totally flipping out and Bettina having passed out on my brother's bed, I decided it would be a good idea to call my crush. I don't remember what idiotish things I told him but I didn't tell him in so many words that lurved him, though I suppose that was obvious. I stayed on the phone with him even when Bettina's parents arrived at my house and carted their sleeping daughter out of the house after shouting at me and blaming me for it all. He laughed all the while.
I got to know my crush quite well in the ensuing years as my then best friend Nicole got together with him and married him a bit later. They got divorced again 2 years later and I am no longer friends with her but still in loose contact with him. He still laughs at me when he remembers the story. Luckily I can laugh about it too now. But I couldn't for many years. I was mortified lol
Off to bed. xxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

thanks, guys -- my OH still doesn't get why I'm annoyed a bit!

Not much here -- we went shopping for a larger car seat, and although my OH 'had done all this research on-line', I still ended up asking all the questions and we had to special order as the only one in the shop was the display one (we got a voucher for the shop)....

as for New Years, nope - never any plans (I hate bars and clubs that night as a rule, although years ago, was in San Francisco with a good friend the night the state went non-smoking (at midnight, 31st December/1st Jan), but the bar let us continue smoking, but the atmosphere the next day was odd as there were crowds of people outside everywhere smoking -- that was in 1997 or 1998 (the year Titantic came out as I saw it there weeks before it was available here), I think). We do have a babysitter for this Saturday night to go out and have dinner out, which will be good...

am crossing my fingers that LO sleeps through tonight (no 2 am parties, as mentioned before, he did wake up last night with OH, but I actually slept through (the power of new ear-plugs (only worn when not my night!)....

bye!!!!!!!!!

 

[AngelUK]

Sigh, I hardly slept again due to being anxious I guess. Dominic wanted his bottle at 11:15 and after waiting till 11:45 and seeing him whine over the monitor I gave in. I could then hardly sleep at all and every grunt of OH's and the babies woke me. And of course at 4:15 Dominic was awake again and started crying. I offered water but he just continued crying and would not go to sleep again. He finally woke Sebastian at around 5 and made him cry too and when Sebastian starts crying he will not stop until I get him up and cuddle him for a good while and let him suck on his muslin label/tag. All the while I was holding Sebastian, Dominic cried in his cot even though I was standing right there! I guess he is tired. OH woke as well and apparently switched the monitor back on to see how I was getting on. When he sensed I was getting distressed, he got up too. The boys got a bottle at 6 and are now playing in the playpen before I will let them nap in their bouncies. Immediately after getting his bottle, Dominic was his usual smiley charming self again and there were no more tears or sobs. I am so grateful for Nick to have gotten up cause I was really close to tears again this morning. I find this really hard going and I must admit I really wasn't prepared for this before I had them. I wouldn't have believed that babies of 9 months would never have sttn even once. Not a nice start to their 9 month birthday. Oh well.

 

[SabrinaKat]

well...LO seems to have slept through to 8am this am, but I didn't -- every grunt, moan, etc. woke me up and with eyes closed, I prayed that he wouldn't wake up (and counted to 30, hoping that it meant he was merely restless (he was mainly restless....)...so, I have no idea how you've survived, angeland with twins....crossing fingers that Thiago slept better last night? (Did Houston get hit with the freak snow as well?/I know Dallas did, but Houston is much further south...)

odd query -- does your LO 'attack' you? Finn seems to love grabbing my glasses, pulling my hair and a new one - we call it the sucker punch, e.g. he begins to suck your face before trying to bite you (he also tenderises the 'meat' on your arm or leg before trying to bite); he just laughs the whole time and thinks its so funny when we resist...

best wishes

ps. I think my sore throat/cold may be back due to LO's continuous coughing into my mouth/face....!

 

[clio]

Well, it seems to me that we are very much alike when it comes to introvertedness/extrovertedness. Probably why we enjoy each other so much and are so active on the thread. Talking about going out and meeting new people, though, I've got my second "Mid-life Mamas'" group meet-up tomorrow morning. We're going to an indoor bouncy place which J will adore. He's just learned how to jump up and down, instead of just bounce, which makes him even more ecstatic. I don't know how long I can attend these meet-ups for, unfortunately, because they often set them for Mon, Wed, and Fri mornings, and I teach at 1 pm, and prepare right up until the last moment.

Storm--A "Hausfrau" is a dumpy old housewife who is commonly depicted with a handkerchief around her head. And little F looks nothing like a Hausfrau in any of those pics, especially in number 3, my favourite!

As others have said, your OH's family does not sound particularly pleasant or generous. How often have your in-laws seen L? Good thing she has such a huge and loving family on your side!

Your description of your wedding sounds so horrible that it's like the plot of a sitcom! You poor thing! Though I do remember having burned the top of my mouth very, very badly that it hurt like crazy (I didn't realize caramel could get so hot in a microwave...) and my shoulder that is screwed up from falling while riding all the time seized the entire day. And all the freaking smiling I had to do! I smiled so much I was in pain. But it still was a beautiful wedding under the big blue prairie sky.

I'm looking forward to hearing about L's party!

Angel--I'm sorry things are going poorly with Dom again. I have no idea what time it is over in the UK right now, but I hope you had/are having a better night with him. Was it you that asked about J's milk refusal? I make his morning oatmeal with it, but that isn't enough. It's not so much the dairy that is a problem (he loves yoghurt and cheese), it's that only milk or milk substitutes (which he won't drink either) contain Vit. D. I suspect we may need a supplement for him. This kid is determined to avoid milk at all costs. Though he is now drinking his formula again, so we're back up to approx. 2/3rds of what he used to drink.

As for me and my husband's lecturing styles, we just happened to have the same one. His used to be more serious, but he recently started to unconsciously add a bit of silliness to his lectures, which is more my style. We both don't rely on the PP presentations much at all and we won't let the students either. We pare down a point to such a degree that the students have to listen to us and write down what we say instead of copying straight from the screen; otherwise the point will make absolutely no sense. And we use the PP points as cues that allow us to present a detailed lecture without notes. So we walk around, make jokes, tell stories and try to create a very comfortable atmosphere. We also love history, and students comment on our passion. We don't practice at home because once our slides have been created, we are set to go. As I said, lecturing university students (current revisions to lectures aside) is my dream job; I'm good at it and I love it.

SK--turns out I need Ken Burns! I want to tell them about the causes of the Civil War so they understand Reconstruction better, but I don't feel like writing the lecture! And while I have holds on copies all around the city at various libraries, I don't think one will be freed up by the 2nd.

Okay, now I'm going to conduct some arm chair pop psychology. Did your OH grow up with his mom's mood disorder? If so, maybe some sort of relationship is in place where he has an overpowering need to avoid triggers that might make her sick again. Hence feeding her Christmas dinner without thought to you. Still a horrible thing to do, but you've got to wonder what happens to children of mentally ill parents (says the woman who is afraid of what will happen to her son because of her mental illness...) and what their knee-jerk reactions are. Again, this is a theory based on nothing other than my own musings, so feel free to ignore it.

Rowan--life does seem particularly rough for you right now. I couldn't imagine taking care of a sick J while being pregnant. I hope things get better soon. Just wait until she starts sneezing--that's the beginning of the end, when the body is expelling all of that mucus. I hope you can finally get some sleep sometime soon!

Borboleta--it sounds like you had a lovely Christmas with T and your OH. And what's wrong with the one-handed pushing? He'll certainly build up his balance faster. The physiotherapist for babies we saw said that if they start to do something new, physically, then they're ready for it. Once J started pushing Thomas one-handed, we knew we were getting closer and closer to walking.

Oh, and the great news--J likes books now! My husband decided to read one to him (we try occasionally), and J sat on his lap and listened carefully. I've now instituted a "book before bed" routine that J really enjoys. We both came to the conclusion--separately, even--that J actually seems to understand the story now, when before, he didn't care because it meant nothing to him. The words were meaningless and the pictures were 2D and he couldn't touch them the way he could other objects. The one I read to him before bed is "I Love You Through and Through," and one section goes through body parts. As I read the page that said "I love your eyes," J reached out and touched the boy in the book's eyes.

Okay UKers, what on earth is creme fraise? (sp) Anyone know the North Ami equivalent of it?