any other over 35 first time mums?

[SabrinaKat]

Welcome to 2013! yawn......

Not a great night....sigh. LO missed his afternoon nap yesterday and went to sleep around 9, then woke up at 12.45 and I hosted a lovely party until 4.30am. My OH was useless -- after two hours of me rocking LO, I called up to OH to come and help (this was about 3am), and he was pretty rude and ultimately, useless, so I continued rocking LO for another hour or so. It's 9am here, and I am exhausted. I am going to wake my OH up in a few minutes and ask him to look after LO for a few hours, so perhaps I can go back to bed........

I'm too tired for personals, apologies....yawn....hope the rest of you had/are having shorter or no parties at all last night. On the plus side, LO is in good spirits, jumping around on his jumperoo and chewing on his toys, so that's a positive! Any New Years' Resolutions?. Mine are: 1) lose some weight (healthy eating/exercise) and I started on Sunday! and 2) try and be more positive/have fun....that's it!

bye!!!!!!!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hello 2013, can't believe its here already. Not a great night for us either, L is teething I can see the top pointy teeth (canines?) Under the gum and back molars at the bottom, yesterday we got some outbursts of crying when chewing on things so they must hurt

In other news I'm back to work tomorrow...... Noooooooooooooo I don't want to go to work, I've been off 13 1/2 months and I still don't feel ready. I finished 6 weeks before my due date as the swelling was killing me, I had elephant feet. Ive had a year with my little princess and she has just started being so much fun, I don't want to leave her to go back to the madness. I used to love my job so I'm hoping I will get a bit of that back once I'm in... Maybe, perhaps...

Yesterday I cleaned and tidied for 6 hours, L loved it, she loves helping by throwing stuff everywhere and it was like an adventure for her which made me feel less bad about doing it, it was like playtime. I gave her my my little pony collection (yup I'm sad) and she thoroughly enjoyed throwing them around. I guess they are hers now! Today so far I have walked the dog, been shopping, seen my dad and now I'm sitting in the car letting L finish her nap. I've got in the food we need, loads of nappys, baby wipes, lots of fruit (I need to shift a stone) and all the household essentials. The only thing I don't have is milk for L as I have to go further to get it and I still have 4 litres, that can be dh task. I still have to sort L bag for nursery and what I'm wearing tomorrow, and the next day and the next... Argghhh its too much organisation!

So SK you want to shift some weight and Borboleta you are upping the exercise so you stay fit and slim, hmmm I need to shift a stone and do some exercise... How do I fit that in? Anyone recommend any good home workouts so I can fit them in while dh is at work and L is sleeping? I know I can shift the weight through diet but I'd like some stomach muscles and a smaller butt and thighs please

 

[AngelUK]

Storm I am in the same situation as you. We said I would go to the gym down the road when they boys nap but hm I cannot see that happening today. If only OH would at least let me push our buggy when out and about. But nope, he is too proud a daddy and always wants to push lol

 

[Storm1jet2]

Angel we need a baby friendly fitness plan! I push the pram all the time, doesnt do much with one baby in it!

Oh and I think is L eye teeth I can see? The vampire ones are two big white lumps..

Rowan what new Tat did you get instead of a ring and how Mamy do you Gave? Details!

 

[Rowan75]

Happy New Year!

lol I am nuts and also papping myself lol! dh is self employed and tbh were only just managing to get by so if he had 2 weeks off with no pay it could break us...were not really sure how were going to manage with the extra expense of another baby but I'm sure we will find a way! Plus he has a sleep disorder and cannot be woken during the night so he cant help at night and I'm figuring if I have a section I wouldn't be allowed / able to carry M without doing some damage?!

he did wake up at 2.30am the other morning tho after 15 mins of me screaming for him - lol oh you have to laugh - M was choking in her cot on her tongue, I was coughing so much I couldn't pick her up at first and then ofc wet myself just to add to the hilarity of it all...I was only in the next room and the monitor was by our bed (alarm going off etc) so double the noise but by the time he heard something I'd managed to sort M and get her out of the cot and was trying to console her (while shouting dh) he did get up and hold her so I could sort the wee situation out which was helpful - but for ex we had a conversation last night and he thought she'd STTN from 6 weeks and genuinely hadn't realised that until 8 weeks she was having milk every 2 hours - he has no idea of nighttime once hes asleep - hes trialing new tablets and the sleep expert dr has doubled the dose on the next packet so thats helping him sleep more normally in theory (his heart is at risk due to his v odd sleep patterns) and is helping him be safe during the day and not stop breathing at night also - so that's great but he sleeps like concrete - hes slept through major earthquakes/hurricanes when working overseas and stuff like that

so not so practical lol!

I have 8 tattoos and the one for my engagement was to cover one Id had started to get removed (v painful!!) as my wedding dress was halterneck we wanted a nice new colourful tattoo for people to see rather than a scraggy black one

storm hope work goes ok x

corr I'm going to feel it when I go back - skint as we are and will be for the next few years - i would not actually make any money working and paying for 2 full time / part time childcare places so there's no point - not what we had planned but hey ho

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Rowan, poor You! A hubby with a sleep disorder and no help for the first couple of weeks, you are a brave woman! So fingere crossed that Michael gives you an easy time on the way out, hopefully number 2 will be easier! I totally agree with you and the cost of childcare, we are paying 628 a month for L and that Times 2 is just too much! Id still like another one though id love another year off with L! 8 tattoos, thats a lot, i only have 2 and one of those needs reworked!

Oh man i dont want to go work tomorrow. I've just worked out why my phone keeps doing random autocorrects, I'd managed to change the keyboard to Italian! Given I work in computers (for a bank) with elevated admin rights giving me the rights to change the software on over 100 000 computers in Europe, the middle east, Africa, Latin america, north America and the nordics this doesn't bode well! I hope my new found stupidity doesn't let me do something terrible, causing an outage would not be good.... Fingers crossed!

 

[SabrinaKat]

re: healthy eating/exercise....well, my exercise was walking, getting off the bus a few stops earlier and using my exercise bike. In 2010-2011, I lost about 30+lbs (for possible IVF), and have lost much (but still have about 10-14lbs over) of my pregnancy weight (I still wanted/needed to lose weight when I got pregnant), so am hopeful that some common sense (restricting junk food!) will help....personally, I can't wait for better, warmer (for Ireland) weather, so LO and I can take longish walks.

re: work. I find a nice cup of coffee helpful for getting my brain back into work mode and it's odd how quickly I fell back into my am routine. As I said before, though, my happiest moment is when I am on the bus coming home, knowing that I will be seeing Finn soon.

I did go back to sleep for a few hours this am (asked OH to take care of LO around 10am), and LO has had two naps (awake at 9am, nap at 11-12.30, another nap at 3.45-5.30) and hopefully, bed around 10? and he might sleep through? I just don't know anymore -- he seemed almost terrified last night, maybe the fireworks woke him up or some other noise that we couldn't hear? any advice?

wishing all a happy new year (we think our neighbours got a new stereo for Christmas as our walls now vibrate with the joyous sounds of boom-boom, so my positive thinking idea is to try and win the lottery so we can move!)

bye!!!!!!!!!!

 

[clio]

Happy 2013 everyone!

Re: Going back to work:--oh man, I am so worried about it. When I lecture a course and am writing it or fixing it (like now) and re-learning all the material, I work all day long at home from early morning till knock-off time at around 7, everyday. I work hard on weekends in particular, if I have a Monday class, and I do have a Monday class this time. And there is no way to work that intensely with J around. And my husband teaches THREE classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which means that he's gone for the entire day, which means I have to take care of J all day, instead of working. And then to think that I then have to do the work at night, instead, after a long day with J makes me want to cry. It sucks working at home, I've determined. And it kinda sucks that I can't put J in daycare for a few mornings (he'd still go to Oma's as well), just so I can get some work done. But we can't afford it. Oh, and the marking. I totally forgot about the marking.

Wow, that "As For Me" turned into a huge hysterical pity fest pretty quick, didn't it? I'm sorry, I didn't start out with that intention! Any way, I'm worried.

Rowan--poor you and your poor husband! Why didn't you tell him before? And now I understand better why you don't want a to be out service for so long. There is a c-section forum on here, isn't there? Have you checked it out to see what others have done?

And Martha was swallowing her tongue??? Why??? Is she okay???

StormJet--do you not have "Stoller-cize" where you are? Apparently it's very hard core.

Talking about hardcore, though: that's a crazy amount of cleaning. What on earth got into you?

Okay, J's up. Got to go...

 

[Claireyb1]

Just wanted to send hugs to storm for her 1st day back at work! I'm depressed that DF is going back to work after the Christmas holidays so god knows how your feeling!!!
I hope it goes ok for you.
xxx

 

[clio]

Okay, J's at Oma's with OH. He knows how worried I am, and has offered his services with fixing the first few lectures (he is also a qualified Americanist), so that helps a bit, and turns out J will go to Oma's on either Tuesday or Thursday. Now I'm just trying to take care of the other day. We might ask my SIL if she'd be willing to take J on the other day and since they need a little money, and she loves J, maybe she'll say yes. I just don't know what to pay her...

Man, I've always been glad that I didn't have to work at an office, and now I wish I did have a place I can legitimately return to, get paid and not be responsible for J at the same time.

Oh, and J is making me upset at mealtimes because all of a sudden, he won't eat. AT ALL. At least he's back on his formula (and we've secretively been adding whole milk) but he's just refusing meal after meal, even though I know he's enjoyed them before (our entire freezer if full of different slow cooked meals). I think I'm going to have to leave during his mealtimes altogether, because the constant noise of the "splat, splat, splat" of him throwing pieced of food I so carefully made for him over the side of his chair makes me want to cry. So, I'm selfishly taking it personally, but with every splat, my heart sinks even lower because that means that piece didn't go in his mouth. He's already dropped from the 50th to 25th percentile. What if my shoddy weaning was the reason why?

How do you like my angst-ridden posts?

So Storm, after all of my whining, I hope that you have a good day back at work. And, despite all of my whining, I'm honestly not saying this facetiously!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Clio I totally understand your concerns, I'm a wreck worrying about work tomorrow and I like my work, I guess I'm partly concerned cause I was always the person who stayed late or did weekend work and now I just can't. I finish at 5pm (never ever left then) and nursery closes at 6 and its a good 45 minutes drive in good traffic... Thankfully I won't have to collect her 5 days a week. I also feel immensely guilt putting her in nursery, but I don't have an alternative.

Also Clio, L goes through not wanting to eat phases and yet today I couldn't fill her, she cleared a plate of pasta and Bolognese sauce tonight! Actually she's eaten loads all day.. I don't know where she us on the percentile thingy but she was exactly 10 kilos on Christmas eve.

Right I better get some sleep, can't believe its tomorrow and wish I had kept the weight off, I was down below pre pregnancy weight in June and I've piled a load on, so cross with myself!

Until tomorrow, hope you all have a good night/day!

 

[charlie15]

Just a quick visit to say Happy new year to you all, hope 2013 is wonderful and full of lots of new adventures with our LO's x

 

[Leeze]

Happy New Year everyone. So much to catch up on. Will try to remember what I wanted to say

Rowan, Re c-section, you're not meant to carry anything heavier than your baby afterwards but it's ok to lift your baby. I found the first couple of weeks the hardest, but even after about 4 or 5 days it gets a lot easier. You find new ways of moving about that minimises the pain, like shuffling along on your bum using your hands etc. Us women are amazing creatures, have faith in yourself that whatever happens you will cope with it.

Storm, hope it goes ok tomorrow. I found the first few days the hardest but I also found that I quickly developed a new approach to work. When you have to leave at a certain time then you find new ways to do things or not do things! I manage a couple of staff and I've even changed the way I manage them to make sure I finish on time. I think you'll be surprised with how different things will feel when you go back. Hugs for tomorrow though. Big day for you both.

Clio, I hear you on the food throwing breaking your heart. Kia is the same at the moment. The main things she regularly eats are rice cakes, pitta bread and toast. And sometimes yogurt or fruit pots. Most other things end up on the floor. Hopefully it's just a phase but it's a real worry sometimes.

Borboleta, tell your sister there are a lot of strange men out there in the world of internet dating. But, there are also some lovely ones too. You have to be prepared to be quite direct and look out for time-wasters and players. They're normally quite easy to spot though!

Can't remember what else I wanted to say and Kia is quite unsettled so I'm going to post this and try to come back later xx

 

[clio]

Leeze--thanks for the reassurance. I'm not even allowed into the kitchen once I put the food in the bowl because I'm so anxious and we don't want him to feel pressure, and I'm trying really, really hard right now not to ask if he's eating it. He'll eat his oatmeal in a second, and ate the hash browns and egg this morning, but absolutely nothing else for days. I'm really hoping it's a phase, like you said, but with the whole not drinking cow's milk problem on top of it all, I just can't relax...

But I'm nervous about everything these days, anyway. This, too, shall pass.

Oh, update from the kitchen--he ate around half his stew. Better than before, I guess, when he ate nothing at all today aside from hash browns thanks to his Dad (v. unhealthy, of course...)

Storm--We shall be comrades in arms, tomorrow. Good luck to you! Will they make it an easier day for you? I can't remember--are you going back full time?

 

[Leeze]

Mmm. Hash browns. I fancy some of them myself. We had a really bad night. Teething hell. I had to get OH up at 3.45 to do rocking duties as I couldn't get kia back to sleep. Then she woke up again a couple of hours later so I brought her in to bed with us. She then had a great sleep, taking up most of the bed, but OH and I didn't sleep very well after that.

Anyway, just wanted to wish Clio and Storm all the best for their first days back at work. Hope it's not as bad as you imagine it to be. Xx

 

[Leeze]

And I've just got up to discover there's no heating on in our flat and the hot water isn't working either so we can't have a shower. Unhappy faces all round this morning in our house!

 

[SabrinaKat]

Leeze - thank you for your post of last night's 'party', -- the same happened to us againand I got OH up to put LO to sleep as after an hour, I couldn't. He did manage, but then LO woke up again and I started crying with the lack of sleep. Ultimately, he took LO into his bed and they both slept a little. I'm trying everything: no afternoon nap, an afternoon nap, loads of bottles during the day, loads of food during the day, a bath and bedtime routine, no bath and letting him fall asleep when he wants....NOTHING! I feel so horrible because I lose my temper (not really), but I'm not as patient as I want to be, but it's so hard at 2am....3am....and after an hour, I just want to cry (and I do)....my problem is also that I don't fall asleep easily and I'm usually just getting into sleep around 1am (even if I go to bed at 11-ish myself) and then when LO starts moaning, I just want to cry, praying that a few head strokes will help, but after half an hour this am, I just had to take him out of his cot, offer a bottle and then try to rock him back to sleep....

storm and clio - best wishes for today -- it WILL be okay and you will develop techniques to get stuff done at work (for instance, I used to prepare for my next few classes after a class, now, I prepare during the break and it means I can leave exactly on time (I have to, anyway) and if I don't have time for something, I just leave it (and I am the person who has lists and post-its, etc., everywhere and cannot relax unless the whole week is prepared for the week before). I return to work on Monday and I prepared Monday's class before the holidays, but will deal with the rest of the week next week..........but hugs to both of you!

am off to the bank and to creche to pick up LO. I am so tired (finally slept from about 5 to 9am), that I am really worried now about returning to work myself next week (the routine is sorted, my sleep is crap at the moment)...........

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[AngelUK]

Best wishes to Storm and Clio today Hope it is going well.

Last night was awful for us too Sabrina and Leeze. Dominic woke at 10:30 and cried till 12:30 or 1ish. We didn't leave him for all that time of course. We rocked and fed and did all we could to get him to drop off again, till finally we let him to cry it out again and didn't give in this time. It was OH's night and he was and is in a dreadful broody silent mood. I hate it when he is like that. He went to nap and I just hope he is less vinegary silent when he wakes up. I am not counting on it though. I am feeling a bit depressed myself today I must say. Maybe I am expecting AF. I used to always know when to expect her but now my days pass bye in a haze of tiredness and dread of the night, even though they are so much better. And I am feeling a little resentful towards OH too. How long do you think his giving up smoking New Years resolution lasted? Yep till yesterday. He promised again not to smoke anymore. But he smoked loads leading up to New Years as he was about to give up. Idiot. He KNOWS that will make giving up harder again but I guess cigarettes have him in their grip.
I am also feeling resentful cause actually apart from the nights which we share 50/50, it is NOT the same during the day. I feel ridiculously grateful when on Sundays, after he comes back at 3 (his one day of work) I can call my very seriously ill friend Andrea. And when we talk for 2 hours on the phone I feel sooo guilty cause he had to look after the boys. But I looked after them all day yesterday while he was watching some Lone Wolf and Cub online. I never do that sort of thing! And when he had been holding Sebastian for 10 minutes while I came on here, he asked me if I could take over now when I came back into the room... I do most of their nappy changes and often OH goes out just when it is feeding time at lunch. I do all their laundry of course and wash all their bottles and bowls and spoons. I guess it is my own fault cause he never says anything when I want to go shopping on my own (done that maybe 8 times since they were born) and the guilt is all in my head but still. I am a lil fed up today. I hope it's just AF and I'll be ok tomorrow. Sorry for the selfish rant.

 

[SabrinaKat]

not selfish at all, Angel! -- we all do so much for our LOs and if our OHs don't help out -- it is frustrating. I am pretty lucky that my OH will do loads for LO (but no real housework or LO's laundry or.....), so I don't think it's just a pre-AF rant as well (I'm waiting for mine and it's a bit late (no chance of any little brother or sister for Finn!(, so that's annoying me too -- but some good news....!

I actually didn't gain any weight over Christmas; in fact, I weigh less than I did two-three weeks ago (not much, but 'lost' about 4lbs!), and I took a really long walk today, so am feeling a bit more positive (I need to lose about 10lbs to be pre-pregnancy; would love to lose about 30lbs more).......

LO cried when OH dropped him at the creche this am and when I walked in, he was delighted to see me, but started to cry because I had to leave for a minute (to get my handbag), but they said that he was okay after about ten minutes this am....cross fingers that he gets back into the am routine....

must go -- LO is tired of watching TV (just kidding!)

bye!!!!!

 

[Leeze]

Sabrina, what I really relate to about what you're describing is a feeling of helplessness. Like, if only we could work out the magic formula in relation to feeds, naps, activity etc in order to get a good night's sleep. But, I think the reality is that there will be some tough nights, some really tough and some not too bad nights - and eventually they will all STTN but it might take a few more months or even another year - gulp - before it happens. I don't know what's harder, to accept it's mostly outside of my control; or to keep searching for answers and obsessing about it. And I really can obsess about it! And, like you, often I'm settling for the night around 1pm. Partly because Kia still often doesn't sleep till 11pm and I really want some me-time, and also I think I suddenly feel awake and energised just at the time I should be going to sleep! I've had 2 really bad nights so far when I've had to go to work the next day. I won't lie, I really struggled through both. Although, I ended up telling everyone I met that day about how tired I was, so actually bonded on a different level with some colleagues, which was nice.

Angel, that sounds like an awful night. I hate it when they won't stop crying. Again, you feel so helpless, don't you? I think it's also hard to stay calm and rational when you're so tired. My OH mainly only looks after Kia if I ask him to. Otherwise it's assumed I'm looking after her. Sometimes it really bugs me, particularly as quite often when he does look after her for a bit somehow she ends up looking for me and clambering all over me while I'm trying to go on the laptop or drink a hot drink etc. If I complain about it being an unfair division then he will normally listen and even make suggestions about taking her out on his own for the afternoon etc. But something else always seems to come up! Mind you, we have just moved house so it does seem legitimate! And I think because I work part-time and he does full-time then I naturally will do more. And because I'm breastfeeding this is a factor too. But somehow, I have this image of him sitting with his feet up while watching TV and enjoying a glass of wine and that often winds me up. I dont think I can switch off in the same way he can. Maybe that's the way nature intended it and that's why we feel more guilty or find it harder to switch off, but it does seem unfair. I'm off work on Friday and I've decided to take Kia to nursery for the day anyway and go do some stuff just for me. I've got an appointment to get my haircut in the afternoon and might go to the cinema in the morning. I already feel guilty about it because I feel like I should keep Kia off nursery and spend the day with her. But, I think it will be really good for me to have a full day of me-time! Maybe I'll only do it every few months or so but I'm hoping it's just what I need.