any other over 35 first time mums?

[SabrinaKat]

well, LO was not interested in any naps per se today (we took the cats to the vet for annual check-ups, then off to buy a bigger baby seat and a little food shopping) and only slept a little in the car, and refused to have an afternoon nap when we got home....so was off the walls and incredibly hyper -- we gave him a bath, loads of food and formula throughout the day and am crossing our fingers that he might sleep through? Last night, he slept from 10ish to 4am-ish, but my OH brought LO into his bed and they both slept for a little longer (I was up around 8 as the vets appointment was at 10, and it takes time to get there....), so cross fingers.....please!

am back to work on Monday, and am looking forward to some me-time (on the commute, which takes over an hour in the am, I read and listen to music and then the same on the shorter lunch-time commute, but it is heaven!)!

weight: was a good girl and didn't buy apple turnovers on sale/offer and am trying my best NOT to pig out....it's so hard, but I need to shift some weight and it's better for me/us in the long run AND Sabrina, the older cat, needs to go on a diet, so me, my OH and the cat will all need to lose a bit of weight/diet, only LO and Daphne (the other cat) are okay - LOL! I told my OH that he could have 1/2 hour three times a week after dinner to exercise, if he chooses to use that time to surf the internet, then he can't blame me!

wishing all a good weekend and a good night......bye!

ps. an odd question, but...have any of you noticed that your AF is different post-baby? Mine is more regular (but me thinks due to thyroid meds), but it's very heavy the first two days and then very light for another three days, and then that's it, but before LO, it was heavy throughout? any ideas? cheers!

EDIT: you go, girl (to use an americanism) -- angel! re: weight loss/weight watchers.

 

[Claireyb1]

I just wanted to say that I didn't want to offend any one when I made my post about turning 39 and wanting to complete my family by the time I am 40. I know that a good few of you became mums after the age of 40 and this is absolutley fine with me I guess mentally I wanted to be able to say I had my children in my 30's .....perhaps in an effort to kid myself I am still young and energetic!! lol Here is me and Lucy out for lunch for mummy's birthday! I must point out that she didn't pick up the bill.....good job Daddy came with us! lol

 

[Leeze]

Quick hello from me. Happy birthday Claire!

Rowan, I bet when Michael comes along that you will find a new way of settling Martha if you need to. Can anyone else settle her if you're not there and if so what do they do? Do you do anything else while rocking her eg singing to her, stroking her face, patting her, her cuddling teddy etc? You could try and introduce some of these so she associates them with being comforted and going to sleep. This would hopefully mean if you couldn't rock her then you could do some of these other things and she would still feel comforted. Or what if you lie down beside her? One of the main times Kia will go to sleep without being rocked or nursed is if she's lying down inbetween us.

Angel, I've said stuff to my OH before about him not wanting to spend time with Kia and he accused me of emotional blackmail. The way I explained it to him when we chatted later was that I actually felt hurt and rejected that he didn't seem to want to spend time with her and that was why I reacted the way I did.

Sabrina, kia will nap at nursery by being hugged and sung to and will normally sleep roughly the same amount of time she does with me.

Clio, a friend told me the other day that babies often don't eat much unless going through a growth spurt and that's why we can sometimes think they're being picky or fussy. Also, she's got a 4 year old plus a baby who's a similar age to Kia and she said her 4 year old mainly ate bread, rice cakes and fruit from the age of 1 to 2! He's got a better appetite now and is a healthy little fella.

Kosh, lovely to hear from you and Gael looks so handsome on those pics. Glad nursery is working out ok.

Hi to everyone else, can't think what else I wanted to say. Except Kia has started holding up phones or remote controls to her ear and mouth and talking into them like she's on the phone. It's the cutest thing ever. Catch you all soon xx

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

Well we had an interesting afternoon. We ended up at the emergency room with Thiago! After I got back home from my morning classes we decided to go get some stuff at the grocery store and Thiago had just taken a 2 hour nap but as we were running errands he just didn't look like himself. He was very lethargic and I feared he was dehydrated. So we call the doctor and I measured his temp and it was 102. She told us to bring him to the hospital and have him checked in. So after spending 5 hours there it turns out he doesn't have an ear infection any more!! So no more antibiotic and hopefully no more diaherreia but he does has a viral infection so we will have to let it run its course. We just need to gi e him Motrin and Tylenol for the fever and keep him hydrated due to the diaherreia. So pedialyte it is. And his bum looks horrible! Painful to look at it! And angel thanks for telling to dry him real good before applying the bum paste. I did not know that. We are getting Boudreaux bum paste. It has very good reviews. I think that is what is bothering him the most now. My poor little man. I was crying when he didn't feel good. You just wish that you could take all the pain away.
I will update you girls later.

 

[Leeze]

Aw, sorry to hear about that Borboleta. Wishing Thiago a speedy recovery. Emergency rooms are horrible places to have to go to with babies. Big hugs xx

 

[clio]

Hi everyone!

Oh man, I've missed a lot! I'm afraid that my response will in no way be comprehensive!

Borboleta--poor little T! It sounds like he's having a rough time of it. I'm glad the ear infection is gone, but that fever and his poor, poor bum! (Maybe that's in part why he wanted to walk at the mall? ) But what a little Pele this boy will be--walking hand in hand with him mum so young! How are his mad skills with the soccer ball going? His illness probably explains why he wasn't eating, though? Oh, when I talked to J's pedi about our eating problems, he said first what your friend said: you can only just keep offering and offering them a variety of foods, and he added that if you get into a fight with them, they will win. So, looks like Thiago is acting very normally! Oh, but how you described T and his food! I laughed so hard!

Leeze--Thanks about the concern re: J's eating. It's actually gotten 100% better now that I've left the room when he eats. He's eaten everything given to him all week long, so that's a relief. I've gone back to giving him snacks which don't stress me out. But he's still losing weight! He's now down to 20 lbs, when he was 21 lbs a couple of weeks ago. That puts him somewhere in the low 20th percentile, I think? And it's not that he's tall, either... The doctor says that this is normal; this is the age when they lose all of their baby fat and since he never stops moving, he's burning all that he eats very quickly. We also picked up some Vit. D drops so we can make sure he gets what he needs while we slowly re-introduce him to whole milk in his formula.

That is too cute about Kia! I'd be trying to make her do that all the time and take videos of it... J has gone someplace strange with one of his cute J-isms. I think I had mentioned earlier that OH told him whenever he touched the tree that he was to stop because Daddy was afraid the tree would fall on his head, and then J would stop and put his hands on his head. Since that seemed to work, I told him to please not touch the garbage because I was afraid it would fall on his head, and he did the same--stopped, and put his hand (now singular) on his head. But then I felt badly, as if I were threatening my child with bodily harm should he do something, so I stopped. But now, anytime we tell him no, don't do that please, he stops, and then puts his hand on his head. We've done some Pavlovian training here somehow, but I don't know how... or why...

Rowan--regarding the glider, I cannot tell you a thing about how you would manoeuvre two LOs with one, but I can tell you that we have one and don't know how to live without it (well, now we could, but before we couldn't). It seems to be pretty standard here in North America to have one. It's just how we've always rocked J to sleep. In fact, we had to buy one for my parents' house when we visited last summer because I couldn't put him to sleep without it. Now he doesn't need rocking anymore, but we still give him his before-bed bottle in it, and I read him his bedtime story in it. It's really comfortable. My sister this past weekend just moved the one from my parents' house to hers for her new LO as well.

But I agree with you Angel, when I first saw one years ago, at my in-laws, I thought it was one ugly rocking-chair wannabe. But they look fine in nurseries. It'll go in the den in the basement when J gets older, with all of the other discarded furniture. It's also where I intend to toss him...

Angel--you asked about the parenting decisions we came to regarding the boy who never stopped crying and then never would sleep. Well, we think it has been far more about how OH's brother and SIL dealt with the situation. My SIL had terrible PND for the first year, and told me later that she had to remind herself that she actually loved her boy for that entire first year. Whittle that rhetoric down, and you've got a mother who at least believes she didn't love her son for the first year of his life. There's got to be some sort of emotional fall out on everyone's part in such a situation. And there is another problem in the whole dynamic: they were always so afraid that he'd cry even after the colic stopped that they catered to his every whim. So, he became a brat. In fact, he has now managed to get out of going to Kindergarden because he kicked up too much of a fuss in the morning. They've pulled him from school, and will just send him to Grade 1 next year. Our conclusions have always simply been: if J pulls any of the crap that his cousin does, he must immediately stop (his cousin doesn't), apologize, and if that doesn't happen, we go home. Or, if he demands something and gets upset because he doesn't get it (or get it fast enough!), he apologizes and stops, or we go home. Simple enough. What's really sad is that because they never dealt with the sleep issue, my BIL has slept on a mattress on his son's floor for 5 years now.

Although they have similar sleep issues with their almost-two-year-old, the younger brother is nothing like the older one and has a very merry disposition. J is calmer than him, but I think the two will get along well when the older one isn't in the picture. And I think having a brother has as at least made the older one a little more empathetic. We think...

Storm--I'm sorry the lesser sex has let you down today. Especially as it is your first weekend and weekends actually mean something now. I wish weekends didn't mean writing lectures to me, now... *sigh* MAN, even when I WANT to work, I don't want to work! But it sounds like L gave you a better night; I hope it continues!

Clairey-- Happy Birthday!!! I understand where you are coming from--I made 40 my cut off even before I fell pregnant with J at 38 (almost 39). But there are those of us here who managed even after 39, so it's not at all out of the question! But I'm sorry Lucy still isn't sleeping.

SK--good for you for being good! I'm not even trying right now. Though I put a stop on OH's previous long-standing instruction to bring me chocolate every night. So I guess that's a step in the right direction. My new method of shopping is online shopping. I've been ordering from places, trying it on when it arrives, and sending 3/4 of it back. I'm still waiting for a pair of pants that fit. Hopefully with the next lot... Until then, it's maternity pants for me! At least THEY still fit.

Kosh--Hi! It's so good to hear from you! I'm with everyone else--I was so struck by how much like a true little boy Gael looks like in his photo! I'm glad you posted it for us! And I'm also glad that you are having so much fun with him; it must help take the edge off of the nights.

As for me, I'm finding it very hard to write a lecture with a one-year-old around. It's just so odd to go from being completely lost in the work you're doing for hours and hours on end, to being interrupted every 5 minutes. I made OH take J to Gymboree at noon and then to Oma's, but he brought him home super early, and so instead of the normal number of hours I usually put in, I could only do 4. And while I love J, I really miss the luxury of just floating around in my pj's, books and pens and papers and computers everywhere (instead of everything neatly out of sight so he can't get to them), drinking twenty cups of coffee, working and not worrying about the time and feeling really good and productive when I knock off for the day. Instead, all I can think of right now is that I should still be working (though my brain shut off ages ago), and please, please, please don't let OH decide he doesn't want to go to the family Sunday dinner tomorrow like he's threatening to. I need him to take J away for a while!!! I need him gone, too!!!

 

[SabrinaKat]

hugs to Borboleta and Thiago - hope he's feeling better soon!...
clio - I understand that academic life-style completely, but I also have no real time for writing or research at the moment...sob...but in a way, it is a good distraction (at least that what I tell myself whenever the lure of reading a new article or skimming through some lovely Latin....).

we had STTN! (or at least, I didn't wake up!) -- LO slept from about 9-10ish to 7.30 this am! I don't whether it was because he didn't have many naps yesterday or I loaded him up with loads of food beforehand, but it was lovely as although I tossed and turned, at least, I could rest and listen to LO snoring rather than stressing about him!

claire- didn't offend at all! I just wish I had known I could and wanted to have children earlier! (Besides when you're as old as I am, you learn wisdom, right?)

must go as LO has decided he hates his jumperoooooo!

bye!!!!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Argghh stupid phone crashed out on reply... How annoying, will repost later!

 

[Borboleta]

Our night was as expected. Thiago still has a fever but we are doing Tylenol and Advil and he is drinking his bottle ( although last night he vomit all on me) and drinking pedialyte. He didn't look very good today poor thing . At least his bottom is a tiny better and he did not cry when we changed a poopy diaper maybe because he is under a lot of pain relievers and he cannot feel anything.

He actually would have slept thru the night I think but I was too worried about the fever ( I have seen a baby having a seizure from a high fever and that was a horrible thing to witness). So I woke him up at 2:30am because he was warm and gave him Advil and then woke him up again at 5:30am and gave him a bottle since he had not eaten anything since 6:30pm the night before.

I had an argument with OH at 2:30am and I am soooo mad at him !!! After I had settled thiago back in is crib and went to bed he asked me is I had left his door open because he though his room was warm and I told him no because I felt it was cold and the tempeture is set on 67 degrees. He then says that he is concerned that there is something wrong with me and how I am handling thiago's sickness very emotionally and basically it came out like I was being a bad mom. I got soooo mad and told him how dare him saying that I am a bad mother and that I don't care about my own child! And that I wished I was the one sick and not thiago. I cried in bed for a while and just missed my family sooo much! This morning he apologized but I am still mad and hurt by what he said. he can be very hurtful with his words just like his mom is. And I told him yesterday that we will do everything for thiago HIS way since my way is never good. So since this morning I have been asking him what he wants me to do with thiago. I am just sick of him being mr. Knows at all ( he said the same thing about me)! So we will do his way even though last night I told him I was going to check on thiago at 2:30am and he told me not to touch him so he wouldnt wake up and to just check his breathing. And did what I felt it was right and touched him and he was super warm . The same thing with the emergency room; I felt like we should just take him to the hospital instead of waiting to see what we should've done. It never came from MR. Knows at all !!!

Sorry for the rant.

 

[SabrinaKat]

borboleta - Trust your instincts -- taking T to A&E was the right decision and waking T up at 2.30 was the best thing to do for you and T! Ask your OH whether he would want his mummy if he wasn't well, even for a comforting cuddle or a bit of a kiss?

not time at the moment for more personals, as LO is moaning and groaning (teeth and boredom)!

bye!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Ok here we go again....

Borboleta, always trust your instincts, my dh cracks up cause I always sneak in to check on L before I go to bed, but I need one last check! I don't know if you can get metanium cream where you are but its great for nappy rash, its a horrible yellowy colour but it works! I hope T feels better soon, poor wee man..

Angel have you though about doing slimming world? If you like fruit, veg, lean meat and fat free yoghurt you can eat a lot more than weight watchers - not good if you like cereal and bread though. I like it as the whole family can eat the food, I just give other people the option of added bread, cheese etc... I MUST get back to it...

Gosh I'm so tired I've had a complete mental blank... Perhaps I should do this tomorrow!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Arghh someone somewhere doesn't want me posting my CC update, my phone froze again.... Perhaps tomorrow, can't face one finger typing it again!

 

[Claireyb1]

Borboleta, I agree with everyone else you must trust your insincts! better to be over cautious esp when it comes to babies! you sound like a wonderful mummy so don't you worry.
As Storm says Metanium cream is very good for nappy rash. I have used it on Lucy when her bum was so bad it was bleeding (this was after her stint in hopsital with her egg allergy)
Some of you will know this already from FB but my gorgeous little cat Harry died today - he was 18! I had him from a tiny little kitten at 10 weeks old and he was my little baby boy having pets is a blessing but it's so hard to have to say goodbye.

 

[Claireyb1]

Arghh someone somewhere doesn't want me posting my CC update, my phone froze again.... Perhaps tomorrow, can't face one finger typing it again!

That's a pain! I was interested to read you CC update too!

 

[SabrinaKat]

Some of you will know this already from FB but my gorgeous little cat Harry died today - he was 18! I had him from a tiny little kitten at 10 weeks old and he was my little baby boy having pets is a blessing but it's so hard to have to say goodbye.

I am so sorry -- I have two kitties myself (mummy- Sabrina and daughter-Daphne, who I have had since was born (she's now 11 years old)....

 

[SabrinaKat]

nothing much here -- have 'stuffed' LO full of food, baby sugar free yogurt, rice cakes and am hoping that he sleeps through tonight (but it's OH's night....!)....think he's getting another bottom tooth and possibly another on the top (he already has seven or eight)....poor thing!

hope all are well! it's back to work for me tomorrow am, after a month off (the school closed for Christmas for a month (unpaid)) and am looking forward to it!

UPDATE: neighbours have been relatively quiet today, but they still have their christmas lights up (thought it ended today?) oh, well........

bye!!!!!!!!!!

 

[clio]

Oh Borboleta-- This is one of those times I wish we were all living right next to each other, and I could come to you. You've done everything exactly, completely right! I don't even understand what your husband is mad at you about. How are not handling this well? I bet he's as freaked out as you are! I'm so sorry little T's is still so ill, as well. Checking on your baby in the middle of a night when he has a fever is exactly what you should do! Are you still doing things "his way"? (What is "his way," anyway?)

Re: T's bum--are you still using wipes to clean it? During J's last bad teething episode (which resulted in no teeth, of course), his bum got so, so, bad; there were even small open sores in some areas. We stopped using wipes because they made him scream, and switched to cotton pads (for taking off make-up) and warm water and gently cleaned him. It didn't hurt him anywhere as much. We also use L'il Goat diaper cream, which is really effective; my sister-in-law recommended it after lots of experimenting with different brands over the years. I really really hope that he gets better soon, and that your OH will smarten up! It seems to me that you should be taken care of as well, right now.

SK--I figured you'd understand about the academic work-style, where time has no meaning and the whole world is blocked out. I'm not a workaholic at all; it's actually a delicious feeling to block out everything and just focus on one thing intensely for a long, uninterrupted period of time. I remember once doing an MA paper, where I woke up at six in the morning to start on it, and never checked the clock once until I felt it was probably time to eat. Turns out, it was 7 pm by that point.

Oh, this is a question I intended to ask yesterday, but forgot: why do you leave F in his basket in this crib?

And on the STTN! Seems you've got something figured out! OH discovered something similar this morning at our increasingly regular 4 am wake up. Usually OH just brings him downstairs, but because he's been doing it so often lately, we figured that this has to stop. This time he brought a bottle with him. J drained it and promptly fell asleep until 7 am! So that's 12 hours of sleep, hardly interrupted. And he has been in such a good mood all day long. So we'll try it again tonight.

Okay, I've got to go, I have to get back to that darned lecture....

 

[kosh]

thanks for your comments re G's pictures ladies - I too think he looks like a little boy already. I sometimes look at him and think - where is my baby? borboleta - he looks like my DH with my eyes and cheeks . I agree you did the right thing re. T, don't understand what your husband was mad about?

angel - what i meant re. night weaning etc is a combination of both re-bonding plus needed milk intake. they do feed him at nursery, but he only gets one milk feed over about 7 hr (when i go to see him) so i think he's also compensating at night.

clio, borboleta - were T and J not eating? G went off solids for 2-3 weeks. his appetite has only just come back, and he seems to be eating for England now

sabrina - STTN? wow i guess your stopping by the other thread was only brief

claire - i'm really sorry about your cat i too am a cat person - mine lived 21 years....

that's all i can do for personals, apologies storm, leeze

re. age and more babies: so, am I the only one over 40 who still considers having another one?

re. clothes - has anyone thrown away pre-pregnancy clothes because they know you will not use them again? I'm back to my normal size, or even smaller, but everything is in the wrong place . i used to have a rather flat stomach, but not anymore, so I know i will not be using some short-ish or tight tops....

re. names: do your LOs repeat their own name?

and one more
re: separation/strangers anxiety: how do your LOs act/react with their grandparents, mainly those who they don't see that often? G is ok playing with his grandmother (my MIL, who was a total stranger until last week) as long as me/DH are around, but as soon as we are out of sight he starts crying.

 

[Rowan75]

hey ladies

borboleta - as the other ladies said - go with your instincts hon youre a great mam x

we still use only cotton wool and only a particular brand of wipes for v foul teething nappies as M's skin sensitive for the initial wipe and then cottom wool - defo worth avoiding wipes when a sore bum!

re rocking - I actually don't rock M -shes never been rocked due to reflux - I cuddle her if shes out the cot or just stroke her back / sing and once shes calm she goes to sleep on her own - think i was just worrying as shes been SO unsettled whilst with this cold/cough/chest thing and teething at the same time

we had onyl 3 wake ups last night yey 2 for dummy and reassurance and one for meds - she points at what she needs lol

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hello! Well today has been a barrel of laughs so far, up at 12 with L, teething and then up again at 4 when I brought her in with me for a bottle, that was fine until I could hear the melodious sound of DH vomiting in the main bathroom. Yup he has the vomiting and diarrhea bug that is going around.. so mad rush for me trying to get L ready and off to nursery as DH was meant to be doing that but can’t leave the house. I was mad at him (not his fault he is sick) but how come when he is sick its down tools but when I have been sick I have had to suck it up and look after L… *sigh*

Anyway I’ve got wise to my phone hanging when I trying to post so this is a copy and paste from word on the computer for the CC update as I know Clairey in particular is keen to find out how its going… Well I have to say CC is working for us, I’ve gone from having to go to bed with L and have her crying and squirming and screaming and jumping on me ALL night to at least being able to get her in her cot. It’s not easy though, she starts sobbing the minute I tell her its time for bed and start taking her up the stairs, she does however forget she is meant to be crying during story time and only starts again when I tell her its time for bed and put her in her cot. She jumps straight up screaming hysterically and I have to say night night see you in the morning and walk out of the room (that bit kills me) then I start timing her, if she is still crying after 5 minutes I go in and tell her its time for bed and I will see her in the morning… and start timing her again.. 9 times out of 10 she is asleep in the first 8 minutes (8 minutes total), last night she was asleep in 4 minutes and I didn’t have to go in. Typically she wakes screaming a couple of hours later and she either self settles or if the crying intensifies I go in and check on her and lately it’s been her teeth so shes had calpol and anbesol and a cuddle and back to sleep. She then sleeps until between 4 and 6 and when she cries then I lift her and bring her in with me for a bottle and a doze. Yes it’s not ideal and it does vary from night to night but believe me compared to what it was the improvement is unbelievable. I’m better off and she is better off too, she’s in better form during the day and now I think I was a huge part of the sleeping problem for the last while as I was intervening when I probably shouldn’t have been. Now we have the reflux and wind under control I honestly think we are on sleep training…

Angel and SK how is the healthy eating going? I just can’t get back to it and I know I must, I want L to grow up with a good relationship with food and not eating the junk I can put away.

Clio that’s great about J going back to sleep after his bottle, I either give L a bottle around that time or get up and I’m not a fan of 5am! I looked up her weight on the chart and she is hovering in around the 75th centile she goes below and above it periodically, I was telling my dad and he said yes and what does that mean, all nonsense they will eat when they are hungry. I wish I had my dads outlook sometimes. L is currently teething and pretty much eating nothing so she will be dropping weight for a while and I find it so stressful.

Leeze I know what you mean about DH finding other things to do rather than spend time with their child and I can’t get my head around it, seems pretty common though!

Kosh I don’t see any issue you with you TTC being 40ish, I wouldn’t care what age I was when I had L if I wanted another I would be going for it. I’m holding off the TTC for a while, I have weight to shift (again) and I wanted to get into the rhythm of work before I add any further pressure. Oh and I know what you mean about body shape, I never had any b@@bs but now I have even less and a less than flat stomach, so the end result is that my top half isn’t overly fat but my stomach butt and thighs need sorted, before I put the weight on as an even spread.

SK my AF was completely different after giving birth, it was really heavy for a while and I always had light periods, then it was heavy for a few days and light and gone in about 3 or 4 days. Then I went back on the pill so it wasn’t a true period, I’m off the pill again not to TTC cause we aren’t DTD but I thought it would be better to get it out of my system should I want to TTC later in the year 

Ergh I’m in work and not feeling well at all, think DH might have smit me.. that is all I need.. sigh!