any other over 35 first time mums?

[charlie15]

Popping back in to say hello

Happy birthday Claire and I am so sorry about your cat Harry, i have a 15 year old cat, Charlie and grew up with dogs, it's awful when they go, so sad. I really recognised you in that photo, before I was struggling to place you, but now i do think i remember you from school!!

Borboleta, i agree with everyone here, trust your instincts totally and you were right to check on T with his fever, babies having febrile seizures is awful so you need to keep an eye and keep there temperatures down 24 hours! I hope he's better soon.

So i see some people have gone back to work, Storm, how are you finding it? I too have a year off, so am off until the end of October....I dread when that day comes and i know my year will go by so quickly!

Kosh i turned 40 just after Sophia was born and really want to try for another too, ideally TTC before i turn 41 next November. I was lucky in that i fell pregnant very easily with S so I hope that i can conceive again. I was an only child to a mum who was 38 and dad, 42 which was unusual in the 70's! As a child it was no problem, my parents were very good and taking to me to lots of things where i made a lot of friends so i had a great childhood with lots happening and was never lonely, but as an adult i have felt the pinch of being an only child a lot. My father died at the end of 2011 and then my mum was diagnosed with dementia when i was pregnant so it's been tough not having any siblings around and would like S to have a brother or a sister. I know that having siblings is no guarantee of anything as they may grow up hating each other!! but ideally i would like 2. My OH wants 3, I so don't think that will be happening!! However if i cannot conceive again and Sophia is to be an only child, then it's really not the end of the world and we would be happy with that too.

Can i ask a question about teething, Sophia is 9 weeks old today and i have a feeling that she may be teething already. She was miserable all day yesterday, which is not like her at all, she was very very fussy feeding, punching and kicking my boob and going on and off the boob all the time, so not really feeding properly! putting her hands in her mouth a lot and i think i can see 2 small lumps where her lower incisors would be. This morning i gave her my finger to see what she did with it and rather than suck on it she chewed it with the front of her gums. i wasn't expecting teething so early, did any of your LO's start teething before 4 months?? any tips on what to give to relieve it? i did give her calpol last night, not sure if it really helped her though

 

[Rowan75]

M woke up this morning so dashed off..

claire so sorry about your cat hon x

re clothes: I threw some stuff out last year I lost 4.5 stone after M was born (slimming world and lots of walking and not sleeping lol) and ended up a stone lighter than my pg weight - but still a lot heavier than I used to be - I put on weight each pg and while ttc - have only put a stone on up to now this pg so Im hoping I can fit back into my old stuff afterwards...but as you say your shape changes a lot! going to aim to do my postnatal dvd again afterwards as that helped me so so much - its 15 mins exercise a day - am hoping Ill have that much time spare lmao!

re names: M does say something that sounds like her name a lot..

re clingyness - sometimes recently seems a new thing

re teething - M started at 3 months and got her first tooth at 6 months - we used bongela and she chewd on toys / rattles etc until she was older then we used this https://www.echemist.co.uk/p-tommee...?metrics=gprod&sv=19367&curr=GBP&showVAT=true and this https://www.google.co.uk/products/c...a=X&ei=1eLqUKSdDsa80QWihICAAw&ved=0CEgQ8wIwAA now shes into teething in a big way I use dentinox as it can be used every 20 mins and also calpol and calprofen also nelsons teething powders but its worth holding off on all that until she really needs it - you can see bumps then you can see like ghost eeth under the gums, then the gum starts to split / you see a couple of white points and usually the pain settles a bit as the tooth manages to get through - they can get v drooly at this point too and M gets foul vinegary nappies (something to do with the acid production to help the tooth break through the gum)

hope that helps!

am going to practice Ms cake while she sleeps (who knows how long she'll nap for so there could be varying levels of success here lol) I'm such a numpty - been and got dairy free marg etc and was looking at the recipe and then thought doh its got bloomin evaporated milk in - lol - so will do Victoria sandwich with cocoa in

I was a wreck yesterday...so worn out..ended up sat crying and dh took M for a walk while I napped for a while - he even looked after her quietly for another 30 mins after she woke til I woke up - was so so grateful!

right ladies will go and make this cake lol

 

[SabrinaKat]

Finn slept last night from about 9.30ish to 5am, but my OH took him into his bed after a little milk and the two slept again until 6.30am, so with a little creative 'thinking', everybody is getting some sleep. We shall see tonight when it's my night as I can't put him into my bed (I'm afraid of sleeping with him in the bed, but not opposed to bed-sharing, just me as if I sleep, I may fall into a deep sleep....)

clio - we move him from the bouncy chair in the living room into the basket and then carry the basket into the bedroom where the cot is. I'm just worried that if he moved him straight from the chair to the cot, he might wake up and at the moment, he still fits into the extra-long basket...
charlie - teething: : It is possible to start the signs of teething at an 'early' age, my LO started with the drooling, etc., around 9-10 wks, but no teeth until he was about 4-5 months. Try Nelson's Teetha on LO's gums and double-check about calpol (I don't think so young without doctor's okay).

only child -- I also worry about it, but we have a large extended family here and in the US, so at the very least, if something happened to us and/or as we aged, we know that there are aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., would be help out LO, etc. Having had an mc and a struggle to get LO, I hesitate trying again (at 45), but we might look into adoption in a year or so (back in the USA, impossible over 40 in Ireland - grumble!)

healthy eating: I am trying my best to eat healthy (day 9 -- started on the 30 December just to be contrary!), by telling myself that I can do it, plus I have loads of nice smaller clothes, and am hoping that I will lose enough over January to give me confidence and courage....!

I had other personals, but will come back later!

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kosh]

re. teething - G started very early prob around 8-10 weeks but teeth only came through at 17weeks. we used bonjela and teething granules.

re. only child - i was an only child too (ok, i do have 1/2 brothers, but much much older than me) and i don't want that for G either. I know that I am not ready to TTC again yet, need prob a year so who know whether it'll happen or not, but if not we would consider adoption too

 

[charlie15]

thanks forgot to mention the drooling, lots!

Rowan, what post natal dvd workout did you use last time, i'm looking to get one as 1 an a half stone over my pre pregnancy weight with thighs like i have never seen before, not to mention my backside!!

SK can you really not adopt over 40 is Ireland?? crazy, that was the problem my parents had in the 70's in the UK. i would consider adoption but the process here in the UK is so drawn out, long and bureaucratic it puts me off!

 

[kosh]

re. adoption - if the situation came, we always hoped we could adopt a little argentine or mexican baby there are soooo many children living in poverty in our countries

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

Little t'bum is looking a lot better today. But I will buy the cotton pads that some of you ladies mention. Sounds good. What I am doing at the moment is wetting the wipes so they have more water in it and wiping his bum good then drying his bottom with a towel and then putting the boudreaux paste. I just hope he stops pooping so much! We had two this morning! But his appetite is slowly ( again SLOWLY) coming back . So that is good.

Storm: so sorry your OH is sick. And I really hope you don't get his bug. I am starting to feel like I am getting my OH and Thisgo's virus too but at least there was no vomiting! I hate vomiting flu!!!! It is the worst thing ever!!!! And so glad L is doing better with her sleep. I love the pictures of her on FB .

Charlie: Thiago first tooth arrived one week before he turned 3 weeks old. I don't remember giving him anything at the time but we did give him lots of Tylenol when he got a little older. He has 8 teeth and at least for now I think teething gave us a break. Although he is still drulling a lot but maybe we are more concerned about him getting better from his cold and virus that we are not paying attention to teething at the moment . And I think it is so great that you are a nurse. My mom was a nurse and I loved that growing up. She always took great care of us.

Kosh: I am still not sure if we will have another one. I did save my pregnancy clothes and thiago's baby clothes but like you I would like to wait another year before I make the decision. Right now we have our plates full with just him. And I think about Sabrina and I love that she is 45 and have an almost 1 year old .
And my body has changed too after pregnancy. My belly at the end of the day looks like I am 5 months pregnant again!! I don't know if your body rememebers all that stretching but I hated it!! I wish my body would understand that there is no more baby there and it is just gas and my belly doesn't need to inflate that way for just gas !!! And yes boobs are down half way my belly!!!!

Clio: that is so great tha J slept some more! 12 hours sounds lovely. I do that with little T and go there when he wakes up around 5:30am although sometimes it takes me one hour to settle him back to sleep but like today he slept till 8:15am so that works. He normally sleeps 8 to 9 hours per night straight and then he goes back to sleep for an extra 2 hours. His naps range from around 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours.
And I would love to have you as my teacher in school!! I have a feeling you are great at what you do!!

Sabrina: why in Ireland they don't want you to adopt a baby if you are over 40? Now I felt really old !
Good job on the healthy eating .
And my period has changed since my emcs. It is heavier than it used to be and longer. But I do not have cramps like I used to. Very odd!

Rowan: I have no idea how you are managing an one year old and being almost in your third trimester!!! I would be crying for help too ! And I can't wait to see M' s cake. My sister is already buying stuff for thiago's birthday. I am so excited ( like plates, cups, etc) since the theme charater is from Brasil.

OH and I talked about our argument and he apologized again and said that he is depressed about not being employed yet and he is feeling less of a man because he is not providing to us ... I just hope something comes his way soon.

Today we are taking thiago to his pediatrician just to have him checked out after the emergency trip last Saturday and he still has a little fever but he is looking better. But better be safe than sorry.

Talk to you girls soon.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh no, I've got the bug! Vomiting and the other end all day in work on my 4th day back.... Noooo

Just a quick post, L did NOT cry when I put her in her cot tonight, first time, not a peep.... I'm in shock!

 

[Claireyb1]

Oh no, I've got the bug! Vomiting and the other end all day in work on my 4th day back.... Noooo

Just a quick post, L did NOT cry when I put her in her cot tonight, first time, not a peep.... I'm in shock!

Oh no storm I'm sorry you have this bug....it's horrible. we all had it ages but it was poor Lucy that got it 1st and then we got it. I hope little L doesn't catch it
Amazing that she didn't cry did she go straight off to sleep?
Did you ever imagine that she would react so well to CC?

 

[Borboleta]

Oh no storm!! To you and see if anyone can help you. Hope L dozens get it!!!

Claire: I forgot to send you For the loss of your cat. Do you have any other pets or are you thinking about getting another one? I never had a pet but I can imagine how attached you can get of them. But the good thing is that he was part of. Your life for 18 wonderful years.

And I think it is so cool that Sabrina and Charlie use their username as their pets name .

Back from the doctor and it is just virus. So now my husband has it, thiago has it and I am getting it . As long as I don't vomit I am okay with it!

 

[Borboleta]

Kosh: I forgot to ask you if you and your husband only speak Spanish with Gael? But since he goes to daycare they speak English with him right? Here I speak Portuguese and glen and everyone else English. So I am not so worried about when thisgo's first words will come since he has to work double hard. But I was wondering if gael is saying any words yet?

 

[Rowan75]

hey ladies

no nap yesterday for M so did cake later - well what a faff on - dh had thrown the mixing bowl out so I used the stock pot, then realised there wasn't time to make the other half, then realised we'd lent the icing sugar to my parents - lol so not v successful! I am v v tempted to buy one....trouble is dhs mam was a wondermam at cakes every year so thats the standard! his sister hasnt bothered even trying to match it lol!

HV review for M today all good - shes dropped from 91%ile for weight to 50%ile but thats what she was for ages so thats fine - shes 75%ile for length and 50%ile for head circ

she advised to start on cows milk in sippy cup asap as M may struggle if still using bottles when M2 arrives so we'll start that asap - going to try her with formula without gaviscon first tho for a few days...

dvd i used was https://www.amazon.co.uk/Postnatal-Rescue-DVD-James-Denton/dp/B000PMFO0Y/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top loved it!

dashing off as who knows how long M will nap for and need a cup of tea and sit down for 5 mins! have a good day everyone and hope the poorly ladies and lo's are on the mend soon! x

 

[SabrinaKat]

not much here...had a terrible teething episode after LO's afternoon nap yesterday; e.g. his left cheek was bright red (he gets rosy cheeks during teething problems) and the painkillers took ages to work and he was screaming in pain, and even the usual distractions didn't work -- it was awful! That said, he did calm down, took a bath and slept from 9ish to 10.30, then 11 to 4am (notice the short party in-between) and then was 'fussy' but not awake from 4 to 6.30am (you can replace dummy, stroke head and he will go back to sleep abit -- but YOU are awake, but at least, can lie in bed and prehaps doze a little.).. so not sttn per se, but okay-ish....

adoption: in Ireland, they say under 50 is okay, but really it's under 40 and the process can take years (literally -- a first appointment after the initial information meeting (we went to it) can be two to three years later, and it's not uncommon for the process to take 3-5-7 years in total. Also, as an American citizen, there maybe some restrictions (not by Ireland, but Russia just prohibited US citizens from adopting in a diplomatic row with the USA)), whereas if we adopted from China or Vietnam in the USA, it might take a year or so (we were thinking, if we did, perhaps a little girl?), but even if we were approved, they prefer a two year age difference between children and my LO isn't even 1 yet -- but next month (I can't believe it!)!

no real personals, sorry - am going to try and put LO down for his nap as wasn't interested at creche, but will 'catch up' later....

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hello all – another day in the office for me not feeling too hot but at least not as bad as yesterday!

Was just thinking about Thiago and Gael and how wonderful it is that they will be fluent in more than one language - a bit strange for them at the start but as they get older what a skill. My SILs brother was (yup that is past tense) married to a Thai girl and their boys are bilingual, it was odd at the start when they were small as they would bounce between English and Thai, but then they started to work out who could speak what language.

Rowan I did laugh at your lending someone the icing sugar etc.. woman dear get on the m+s website and order one in to your local store, you are heavily pregnant with a small child, I am sure no one expects you to be a domestic goddess just now.

SK – I would love to adopt a little Chinese girl, I think it takes about 2 years and costs about £15,000 which is a lot of money but I would love L to have a sister and I wouldn’t care if it was biologically my baby. DH isn’t keen though, I think he is holding out for another of our own in the hope he gets a son. I’d like a son but I never had a sister and I would L to have a sister… if I had the money I would do it in a heartbeat. I don’t know why the adoption process is such a nightmare and age restricted, I mean people are leaving it later to have babies so we can’t we adopt older?

Well L went down without a squeak last night but was up at 12, 1 and up and in with me at 5.20 – I’m tired, but I think that is cause Im not too well – as 2 months ago I could only dream of a night where she stayed in her our cot til 5.20 with only minor intervention. May the sleep training continue!

Not much else to report – I’m slowly getting back into the swing of work, I haven’t left my desk the last 5 days so bringing my trainers in tomorrow so I can at least try and get out for a walk at lunch. I haven’t even got to do the wii zumba, I did 2 songs on Sunday – was wrecked and out of time, had planned on starting last night but the vomiting bug planned otherwise… typical

I’m so tired today – hope L has a decent night so I can get a go at trying to shift this bug, everything hurts!

Hope everyone else is well – bye for now!

 

[clio]

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been MIA--terrible insomnia and writing lectures--a horrible combination. But gave my first lecture yesterday, and it went well (according to me--you never know what the kids think.) But it's nap time for me and the kid, and hopefully I'll stay awake long enough to write something decent.

Kosh--good to hear from you! Um... your questions:

clothes--I can't bear to throw them away. I have an entirely full closet of clothes I cannot wear. Some still have the tags on them because I started to gain weight a year before I got pregnant. I went on a great shopping spree, got some amazing clothes, and within a week, suddenly started gaining (no change in anything I was doing. I was still exercising 3 to 4 times a week during this entire period and beyond and ate very well). Gained 20 pounds in four months. Turned out my PCOS had gone into overdrive out of the blue and I never wore the clothes. Within another year, I had gained 20 more pounds. I actually feel robbed. During my pregnancy I only gained 16 lbs, and lost it immediately (half of it was J!) so it wasn't even pregnancy that did it to me...

name--nope. Never heard it. But I'm not even sure when J says Dada or Mama because he says "da!" all the time, and "ma ma ma" occasionally. I know he can say our names, but he doesn't seem to bother.

clinginess--only now suddenly. When he goes to Oma's now, he comes running to me when I start to put my jacket back on to leave, and Oma has to hold him up at the window to let him see me go and wave to me (apparently this helps him?) He's doing the same with OH, too. And he's been going regularly to Oma's since he was a month old.

another baby--nope, but I think everyone already knows this about me. I don't think I could handle it, and I feel completely fulfilled with J. I do occasionally worry about him being alone when we're gone, but he's spent literally every Sunday evening with his two cousins since birth, one of whom is less than a year older than him, and they're now starting to play with each other. I think he will develop a very strong bond with his extended family because of these Sunday dinners.

Rowan--I am so jealous that M will tell you what she wants! Smart little cookie! J just points at things he likes, like lights and the stars from his Twilight Turtle. Oh, and doors. If I have to do something and he's not letting me, I ask him to show me all of the doors on the main floor, and he goes around pointing at doors and saying "dar!"

Storm--I'm so glad that CC is working out! I think this is so marvellous considering what you've been through for the past year... Is your poor husband still sick? And bedridden? And I agree, it's incredibly unfair that you have to continue to look after L even when you're sick, and your OH gets to take to his bed.

I totally hear you on the dropping weight issue. I know it's normal right now because he's so active and losing his baby fat (this is what the pedi said), but it is still so unnerving to know your child is now below the 25th% when before he was always at the 50th.

Oh, and I'm so sad for you that you had to put down your cat. I had to put down my first and most adored one, and it was the most painful experience. Four years later, I still cry or get so so sad when I think about it.

Charlie--J started teething at 4 months, but nothing broke through until 7. He developed tho little white cysts on his gums at 4 months, and I was certain that they were the teeth. But nope, the were just the precursor to the teeth coming soon (my dentist friend told me this).

Okay, falling asleep. Will continue later...

 

[AngelUK]

Evening from hell. Tried putting the boys to bed at their usual time, they would not drop off even though we rocked them for a good half hour. We put them to bed and left and of course huge crying session from both. Sebastian screeching like a banshee cause nothing like that has ever been done to him. I was getting anxious and dared ask repeatedly Oh dear the poor boy what shall we do. He said go in and give them back their dummy. I did and they started going into hyper drive. I was really anxious cause I have never heard Sebastin cry like this unless he was hurt. OH got annoyed with me and said ok I am going in to soothe Seb. He went in and soothed Sebastian while Dominic was crying his heart out next to him. So mean. So I went in as well of course and picked up my poor Dominic and told OH that it isn't fair to soothe one and let the other cry next to you. So we tried again and again to get them to drop off. They refused but enjoyed being rocked and held I guess. So OH got impatient again and said let's leave them to it. So we left again. It was 8:10 by that time. Sebastian screeched and screamed for 5 minutes and then dropped off. Then Dominic started crying again and went hysterical. So at 8:45 OH went and rocked him to sleep. Took less than 5 minutes this time. But I think we are giving that poor baby mixed messages. One night he has to cry it out then the next not etc. But one thing is clear. CC doesn't work with either as it makes them hysterical when we go in but don't pick them up. I hate this sooo much I cannot even begin to describe it. I guess I shouldn't ask for OH's opinion cause he has none and just says well we have to "try" again tomorrow. He doesn't get that it is either do or don't. Wahh I hate this! If only I knew what we should do for the best. But we cannot rock them for an hour any more. OH has RSS and my back is too weak to take much more either.
Sorry for selfish rant. I am at the end of my tether tonight, I am tired, blue cause of AF and on night duty. Want to cry.

 

[Claireyb1]

Oh Angel! I'm so sorry your night is not good. I feel your pain,I really do. I just can't do CC as I know Lucy would be just screaming her heart out
No advice just hugs

 

[Storm1jet2]

Angel I really feel for you I do, but as you said you can't keep it up. As my dad said to me when I was crying about L screaming when I put her in her cot 'shes screaming cause its always worked before and now it doesn't and she doesn't like it, there is nothing wrong with her she just wants to be with you'. Thing is I wouldn't have minded having her in with me but she was sleeping even worse when with me! CC isn't for everyone and believe me we are a long way off getting it right but for us its working. Nursery have even commented on how much better L is during the day, probably because she is sleeping better at night. I'm still up at least 3 times with her, but its a far cry from up 3 times an hour. I honestly believe we are working on sleep training now as she's never had the chance before, given we only got the wind sorted at 10 months... My brother who is a Dr (also a father of 4) told me I needed to get her sleep sorted or I was going to collapse, he was right.. I was at the end of my tether, I dealt with it for 11 1/2 months and L was going to be crying a lot more if I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't look after her at all.... Know that we are here to talk to no matter what method you choose and have a big virtual hug from me. Xxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

neither can I, claire re: CC. I just can't do it, either...

had a huge row with OH tonight for a variety of reasons, the most pressing was that LO was projectile vomiting and I was screaming for him (he was downstairs in the kitchen , our living room is upstairs) and he took his sweet time....LO was fine, but I was furious! I told him that he was so rude, e.g. this am, he took his time and I had only 15 minutes to get ready (bath already drawn) and then this pm, he went and ate his dinner after he came home without even popping upstairs to see LO (I had put potatoes and salmon to cook) and without even a thank-you and whenever I complain or criticise him, I get asked if I am having a breakdown or did I take my pill (am on low level antidepressants) and I started screaming at him...finally, we both calmed down and I said that the only reason I scream or throw things is that he doesn't ever listen to me. He still thinks his behaviour at Christmas was okay (e.g. MIL was priority in my house, not his wife or son)...and it is so frustrating and....

I got on the scales today and after 10 days of being good and even walking more, I have lost NO weight. Now, I am a bit constipated and think the mysterious 2-3lbs might be packed in there (growl and LOL!), but so annoying (and no, it's not a question of hidden biscuits and lying -- I have been soooooooo good!, but perhaps shouldn't weigh myself mid-day rather in the am), and then, spilt nail polish all over my favourite t-shirt (got in OZ) and was grumpy anyway........growl.

no worries, no divorce, but we did talk and hopefully, it will be better tomorrow.

thanks for the rant! now, personals:

clio -- missed you, but understand!
angel - how frustrating! I worry every night that it will be difficult....sigh
storm - one day at a time. I hope you feel a little better tomorrow!
borboleta -- any news on T today?
rowan - try and relax a little -- you are in your third trimester and Martha will love any cake (even shop bought, shocker!)
claire - hugs again for kitty.


if I have forgotten anyone, mea culpae!

EDIT: kosh - glad to see you here! My LO is sleeping okay-ish at the moment (5-6 hours at a stretch I consider good at night). charlie - hope LO's teething is okay? but although early, it does happen...sigh...

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Ps L has been crying already and I've been in, I'm sure its teeth, poor pet cried when I touched her gums putting the anbesol on, she's settled again now after calpol and a cuddle. CC is hard as you need to make sure when you are doing it you are 100percent sure they aren't crying cause they are in pain, hungry etc... I'm terrified of missing something!