any other over 35 first time mums?

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

We had a great night last night. 9pm till 7:15am this morning. No waking up what so ever I loved it specially because I am getting thiago's cold so I needed the rest. Hopefully tonight will be another good one. He actually has been sleeping better now that he is sick . Go figure!!
And his bum looks beautiful again !!! So happy for him.

Angel: so sorry you had a bad night. Maybe they are just teething or having an off night. At least you are getting some good nights between the bad ones right? See how it goes tomorrow. Since thiago has been sick we have not gone back to CC. But he does get very upset when you go in there and leave him. Cries even harder. That is the price of CC I guess.

Storm: glad to hear you are feeling better. And L is in a better mood because she is sleeping better.

Claire: To you. What is the longest period of time you ever slept since you had Lucy?

Clio: glad you are back. Love the story of J saying " dar" lol!!! So cute!!!

Sabrina: you made me laugh about constipation weight!! But you are right you need to weight yourself again when you are not constipated. But the best time to weight yourself is in the morning and naked. So go for it. And you could be building muscle ( muscle weights more than fat as you probably know so don't be discouraged. You need a body fat measuring machine. You can get them at amazon and it is not that expensive. Then you can really tell what is working or not for you.

Hope you all have a lovely night.

 

[SabrinaKat]

There are chocolates (unopened), potatoe chips (unopened mini-packs) and delicious american chocolates in the freezer (untouched)! I have been soooooooooooooooooooo good and I want them all now....! but will be good...sigh.

night all.........!

I want chocolate now!

 

[SabrinaKat]

did I mention I like chocolate?

ps. glad Thiago is better -- he is so cute!

 

[Borboleta]

Oh Sabrina I feel your pain!! I have this mini chocolates around the house and I eat them specially when my period is about to come. Can you control yourself and just have one piece? Then go for a walk.

 

[SabrinaKat]

well -- quick update. I lost 1 1/2lbs since last Wednesday, so should be my ideal weight sometime in 2020 (just kidding) -- I weighed myself in the am and after bathroom, so at least something to show for my restraint!

must dash -- hope all had good sleep, my OH bed-shared with LO last night, so did get a little sleep (about 6 hours), but LO was crying and upset at midnight for awhile (yes, I went into OH's bedroom!), but is now screaming with joy watching the am news...

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Claireyb1]

Borboleta, I would say the longest stretch of sleep I have had since L was born is prob about 4-5 hours? this has only happened on a few occasions though

 

[clio]

Hey guys. Insomnia at least allows me to catch up a bit...

We had a really good morning (nights aren't the problem--the morning wake up is). J slept until quarter to 7, so that's a full 12 again. He did uncharacteristically wake at 2:30, though, but when OH went in, thinking it might be teething, J started giggling, so we firmly shut the door and let him CIO. Didn't take too long. Little rascal.

I know that CC is preferred to CIO, but I couldn't have done that with J. He would have just gotten more and more hysterical every time we would come in, prolonging the crying. With CIO, they know no one is coming, and while that sounds a bit cruel, maybe, psychologically, it's better in the end? One means that mummy is coming back soon, as long as I keep crying, while the other means, well, I'm on my own here, I'd better figure out a way to get to sleep... We are always there again in the morning, so they know we're not gone or that they've been abandoned... Just my two cents, though. You all know your babes better than I do, and I know J's temperament, which is actually a pretty pragmatic one. We've been CIO with naps, too, and although my husband can't do it, I can, so J knows that with OH, he'll be down again in a few minutes, but if mum put him to bed, there's no getting out of it. I don't even bother timing it anymore, as I know I put him down when he exhibited signs that he was tired, and he therefore will eventually sleep. Ever since I started doing that, we've stopped having the 3-5 pm meltdown and clinginess, and his mood is simply much, much better during the day. Though Angel, I have no idea how one handles it with twins, unless you perhaps do complete CIO with both.

As for being inconsistent, I keep making this analogy for OH (I learned this in Behavioural Psych at uni): our cat will always come if we shake the Turkey Treats bag, no matter if she gets some or not. (This is how we get her out of situations for which she most certainly will not be rewarded, but we cannot get her to come in any other way, like when she goes under the porch.) She comes because sometimes she does gets treats when we shake the bag, and maybe this time will be one of those times. Inconsistency leads to an understanding that sometimes they will be rewarded, and maybe, just maybe this is one of those times.

I know you guys probably want to slap me right now, and I know that I'm meddling where I don't belong. And maybe it is simply J's personality that allows us to do CIO, but it worked. If he does cry during the night, there usually is something wrong, because the behaviour is out of the ordinary, so we go in and fix it. Unless he does something like giggle, or smile when we pick him up, and then we know he's playing us... But we also wait around 5 minutes before we go in to make sure he's actually awake. Sometimes he just cries in his sleep for a bit. As for the hysterical "I'm dying" cry--like you described, Storm--I ignore that as well. I see it as him simply upping his game, and he does still fall asleep in the end. But again, we do have a time limit for naps: 15-20 minutes, depending on the quality of his cry. We know he will not sleep if he's been crying for that long.

I do apologize for meddling, though. It's just something I've wanted to express for a long time, and since every one seems to be trying CC, not CIO, I thought I'd explain why I do what I do.

Angel--remember my "bratty" nephew? I feel so badly after learning something from my SIL that I feel obligated to exonerate him. Turns out, the poor thing has a learning disability that doesn't allow him to process a change in his plans (for example, if he plans on having ice cream after dinner, even if he wasn't promised it, he will meltdown if he can't get it). Because of this inability, he goes into a brain-freeze because he can't process this change, which in turn increases his frustration levels, and ultimately leads to this "bratty" behaviour. From what I understand, at the root of it is an inability to problem solve, something which he needs to be taught. I learned all of this when Eric told me that my SIL had taken him to a psychiatrist, who recommended a book called "The Explosive Child."ccc So I bought the ebook, and it makes total sense. It appears that living with this kid has been far harder than we thought, and most often, people believe that the parents are to blame for not disciplining the child properly (which is what OH and I did). So taking him out of Kindergarten was actually the best thing for them to do, because he needs to learn to problem solve before he ventures out into the real world on his own again.

Look at me--I'm an armchair child expert tonight.

SK--have you tried increasing your water intake? The extra water will bloat you at first, but then, because your body knows more is coming, it drains any stored water you may have. Most people lose 5 pounds really quickly because of this. I learned how well this worked when I was working on losing weight after a medication of mine made me gain tons. Sad thing is, I would give anything to be back down to that previous "over-weight weight"

Borboleta--I'm so glad that little T is better. J's got a tooth sprouting, so his bum is horribly inflamed, too.

Okay, and now I'm falling asleep. I really hope you're having/you had a good night.

 

[AngelUK]

Clio just quickly as I haven't much time. I totally agree with you and if last night has shown me anything is that CC doesn't work for our boys. It is CIO or nothing. And it certainly worked with Sebastian while CC made him worse. BUT after 45minutes of Dominic being truly hysterical and not calming down at all, I do think he was getting scared and OH did the right thing to go in then and rescue him. But I will tell him your analogy with the treats and hopefully we can take it from there. I don't know how we are going to deal with Sebastian though cause we never had to let him CIO before. He has been taking increasingly long to drop off. The night before we rocked him for 45 minutes before he dropped off. But partly to blame is also that sometimes they nap too late. We have decided that 4:30 is the cut off time and even though they go whiney after that, if they haven't napped by then after their 3pm bottle they are to stay awake. Got to go! But I didn't think you meddled at all! I am so grateful for any advice and encouragement. I felt like I was damaging my baby last night! xxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

no meddling, either -- I don't like CC or CIO, but totally respect whatever decisions any of us make (unless something very odd, like dying baby's hair green or something! hey, that's an idea for St. Patrick's Day - hehehehe!)

am tired. always tired. forever tired. LO is good, having had two naps at creche and is now home, screaming (with joy) again playing with his musical remote control....

nothing else...tired - am I the same person who could sleep until 11am, 12am, 1 pm....yawn...........

bye!!!!!!!!!!!

ps. I love my new Kobo glo and it's fantastic to have some time to myself to read on the bus to and from work -- it's really the new me-time (and the only me-time now!).

 

[clio]

Angel, I would have gone in for Dom, too. The nap idea sounds like a good one. OH read somewhere that they shouldn't go down for naps after 4, though I don't know why. Maybe it interferes with their biological clock because it's so close to bedtime? For J, that would mean waking him up for dinner, and then putting him back down again an hour later. Ach, what do I know?

 

[Storm1jet2]

Afternoon all..

Clio your description of Js cousin sounds rather like my nephew, I describe him as his logic is a bit mixed up! Like if I have a bag of sweets and I give them all 2 sweets each he will ask for another, I will explain there are none left and show him the empty bag but because he has it in his head he wants another he can’t get his head round the fact there are none left. Its totally frustrating at times.. this of course is the kid L decided to bite really hard on Christmas day, now when she comes anywhere near him he screams ‘shes going to bite me!’ , no matter what she is doing. Can’t really blame him for that though as she really did bite him hard!

As for the CC/CIO – each to their own and I think we all know that not one of us would do anything that we thought was in anyway harmful to our children. The thing with L was that she was crying herself to sleep with me anyway no matter what I did with her, 9 times out of 10 she had to cry herself to sleep when she had everything she wanted.. I don’t get it! She wouldn’t go to sleep with her last bottle, wouldn’t let me rock or cuddle her to sleep, she would throw herself on the side of the bed she started off in (ultimately stealing all the bed later) and would jump around and roll about and cry til she dropped off, if I tried to hug her or hold her she went nuts.. In fairness it wasn’t the get me out of the cot crying but crying none the less, and then the waking.. I swear more than one night she woke every 10 to 20 minutes to throw herself on me, pull my hair, shout for her bottle.. oh my goodness those nights were like nights of torture.. I’d find myself crying with her and begging her to go to sleep..

In other news she got more injections today, I am bad and I sent her with her daddy as he is on annual leave, she had to get 3! I thought it was 2 which was bad enough, but 3! I had sent her with a bag of dairy free buttons so apparently she cried for 30 seconds and then when she got her buttons she was a happy girl – bags of buttons are not a regular occurrence. I’ve taken tomorrow off in case she is feeling out of sorts but apparently its 48 hours later which will be the weekend and ten days later which will be the next weekend. I really hope she is ok, I struggle with getting her all these immunisations! I never know if it’s the right thing to do or not, but she needs them for nursery and I think it’s the lesser of 2 evils to not having them. Have to say I’m looking forward to getting home to cuddle her. DH is still feeling poorly (why is he such a bad patient!) so no doubt he will pick her up from nursery at the last minute so he is just in before me.. and then I take over but to be honest I miss her during the day so I like to spend every waking minute with her..

Right out of time – later!

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

I agree with you all when is about CC or CIO. I as you all know, am and was a firm lover of CIO but because of my OH couldnt do it to my own child, but have seen working wonders to all the kids I ever baby sit. CC worked for THiago although he is so exhausted at nap and bed time that it doesnt take long for him to fall asleep. He usually last between 2 1/3 to 3 hours from wake up time in the morning to his first nap; then he usually last between 3 1/2 to 4 hours from first nap to second nap and them again 3 hours between last nap and night night time. He does sleep sometimes until 5:30PM or 6:30PM and maybe that explains why sometimes he goes to bed at 10PM!! But he has been good with his night sleeping. The past couple of days we have been having sttn so for that!!! You see he went down at 9:45AM and it s now 11:30AM and he is still sleeping. So if he wakes up in the next 15 min he will not go to bed before 3:30PM. I just think he needs his sleep and my ME time is when he takes naps because at night time I am tired and dont really hang out with hubby that much. We are by 9:30PM.

Clio: so sorry to hear about your nephew! That must be really hard for his parents! That is to show you how we shouldnt just think that a child is misbehaving because the parents are not putting enough boundaries on the kid.

Oh, got to go the little man woke up!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Ok how odd is this L wanted to go to bed tonight! I was reading her stories and she started doing the hand waving that means no! I put her in her cot and she lay down and closed her eyes really tight trying to go to sleep, so I stroked her wee face and hair for a few minutes and then left her... Not a peep! I'm sure she will be up soon, but wow, she wanted into her cot!

 

[Claireyb1]

Ok how odd is this L wanted to go to bed tonight! I was reading her stories and she started doing the hand waving that means no! I put her in her cot and she lay down and closed her eyes really tight trying to go to sleep, so I stroked her wee face and hair for a few minutes and then left her... Not a peep! I'm sure she will be up soon, but wow, she wanted into her cot!

So pleased for you Storm, this is amazing!!! I'm jumping on and off while I watch one Born!!
xx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Ok how odd is this L wanted to go to bed tonight! I was reading her stories and she started doing the hand waving that means no! I put her in her cot and she lay down and closed her eyes really tight trying to go to sleep, so I stroked her wee face and hair for a few minutes and then left her... Not a peep! I'm sure she will be up soon, but wow, she wanted into her cot!

So pleased for you Storm, this is amazing!!! I'm jumping on and off while I watch one Born!!
xx

I'm watching it too! Totally mesmerized by the girls stud in the middle of her forehead! Looks sore and very permanent.....

 

[charlie15]

Storm, OMG!!! how you described L's crying at night, that was torture!! i don't know how you handled that, so it's great that things are turning around for you now Sophia had her 1st jabs last week, there were some tears and then the boob worked it's magic!! Was it the MMR that L had?

Borboleta, good to hear that you loved your Mum being nurse, not sure if it will help or hinder me as Sophia grows...so far I'm not been to much of a mummy hypochondriac, not yet anyway! wow that T had his first tooth at 3 weeks! Since Sunday Sophia has been back to her normal self which is a mostly happy baby, however i got her some Nelsons teething granules should i need them. I saw that you mentioned speaking Portuguese to T while everyone else speaks English. My OH is Sri Lankan and the plan was for him to speak Tamil to Sophia and me English. However I think he's struggling with it and he seems to be speaking to her in both English and Tamil. I read somewhere that that can confuse them when one person speaks 2 languages to them so not sure whether to suggest he just speak only one language all the time! Don't want to confuse her!

SK how can you have so much chocolate around the house and resist it?? chocolate lasts one day max in my house!! problem is OH is a chocoholic, so i can resisit buying it but once i see it's there and available that's it!! i have asked for it to be hidden from me, but he's not very good at that!

Angel, how have your nights been since that awful one?? I can't really say i have a strong opinion on either CIO or CC but it seems one method works well for certain babies and the other for others, as to whether i would be able to do either, i suppose time will tell. I really don't think either of us could do it unless we saw pretty quick results, which would make it easier to bear.

I'm trying to get a bed time routine going with Sophia, with bath, massage, feed and then bed to give her some wind down, bed time cues, night number 2 and so far it's having the opposite effect and the bath and massage seem to wake her up and she wants to chat and giggle and then how can you put that cuteness to bed??!! but will stick with it so that i can try to bring her bedtime forward by the time she's 12 weeks.

anyway time for bed, hopefully i'll get a couple of hours before S needs a feed. Hope you all have good nights.

 

[SabrinaKat]

we (okay, LO) is in teething hell these past few days....sigh. On a positive, we had sttn last night --from about 10 to 6am, but with some fussiness from about 4am. Also, it's very cold here....grumble.

transport possibily going on strike from next Monday, and will have to take train rather than bus, which means more money and will be late to pick up LO from creche....grumble....

resisting chocolate -- I put in the freezer, so it usually slows me down from gobbling down (unless right before AF!)

storm - hope you got some decent sleep!
and to all, a good morning (must run to work!)....

bye!!!!!!!

 

[kosh]

so sorry about your awful night angel

borboleta - yes we both speak Spanish to Gael and he hears 100% Engish at nursery, so I think that's one of the reasons he's taking a bit of time to say any proper words he used to say 'papa' but i think he forgot now?

 

[kosh]

Ok how odd is this L wanted to go to bed tonight! I was reading her stories and she started doing the hand waving that means no! I put her in her cot and she lay down and closed her eyes really tight trying to go to sleep, so I stroked her wee face and hair for a few minutes and then left her... Not a peep! I'm sure she will be up soon, but wow, she wanted into her cot!

that's soooo

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hello, well L went to sleep without a peep, but started crying 2 hours later, I went to check on her pretty smartish as she had had her injections (first mmr and second for a few other things), poor pet had coughed (has a cold) and been sick... So I changed her sheets and fleecy babygro, got her some juice cause I wouldnt want to sleep with the taste of boke in my mouth and she was drifting off in my arms, so back in the cot and she slept til 4.30... 6 blissful hours, I think I got nearly a block of 5 hours sleep! She wanted milk at 4.30 so in with me for bottle, cuddles and sleepy naps. Thing is I'm exhausted! I think I have a lot of sleep to catch up on.. oh she's awake, back later