any other over 35 first time mums?

[Claireyb1]

Well ladies,I'm back!!!!
2 weeks in "sunny" Ireland!! lol those of you in Ireland and NI will know I am being slightly sarcastic when I say sunny. We had a few nice days but it was mostly pretty cold,wet and windy. But Lucy had the most amazing time!!
I haven't had time to catch up on everyones news yet, but glad I am at least in time for Jules's c section on the 29th (day before my DF's birthday)
will post more later when I have time, but I have a mountain of washing and claeaning to do
A quick question for those in the UK.....I came home to find I have a jury summons! timing is rubbish! In the 20+ years they could have called me, they call me now when I have a baby!!! I really can't be leaving Lucy for up to 2 weeks to do the service esp as I am still BF'ing her!! any ideas what they might say??

 

[kosh]

welcome back claire, glad to hear from you again

 

[kosh]

there were a few things I wanted to comment on and I cannot remember any of them!!

 

[AngelUK]

Claire really quickly as I need to feed my boys, but wanted to say first of all welcome back!
I had to do Jury Duty before I had the boys. I was able to defer it once for no more of a reason than it was my dad's 70s bday bash. They recalled me 6 months later though. And then I couldn't defer any more as you are only allowed once. But your reason is way better than mine was and should get you out of it no problem. I am not sure when they would recall you but you can discuss it with them. I'd give them a call. Good luck! xx

 

[kosh]

oh yes, i remembered! angel - Gael had a few episodes where he cried for his dad uncontrollably and I could do nothing to comfort him I think the first time it happened was around your boys' age. it was really strange - DH was working in the yard and Gael was looking at him through the window, but he was coming in and out his frame of vision and somehow this really upset him?
My MIL was here then, and I think it happened next when my mum was also visiting? No idea if it is related though

 

[SabrinaKat]

absolutely terrible night - again, no nap yesterday afternoon and broken sleep from 7ish to 1am; my OH had him and for a good twenty minutes about 1am, LO was crying inconsolable -- I did go in at the beginning and he stopped crying, but when I left, he started again. OH had to rock him to sleep and we all got a few hours. Now home from creche and again, hysterical. No temperature, but just one unhappy baby....

sorry no real personals, but need to give a few cuddles....

bye!

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies

Claire: welcome back. So glad to hear L had a great time. Maybe we can see some of vacation pictures .

Sabrina: it sounds like teething to me. Thiago was sooooooo crabby for about 4 days!!!! No stop whining!!! It was bad!! I was wondering who took my son and left me the crabby one . He is doing much better now. Since Finn has his canines maybe it is the molars than.

We didn't have the greatest night either. Not sure if thiago was hot or got upset that he lost his paci . But he woke up at 1am crying really hard ( which he normally doesn't do) and I looked at the monitor and could see that he didn't have his paci. But I was not going to go there so OH just got up and went there and one hour later came back. He tried to put thiago down asslep and it isn't work so he just left him in there. It took about 5 min of crying and he went back down. One hour later, he woke up again crying!!! But this time no one went to save him. It took him about 10 min of crying to fall back asslep. But it take us longer to go back to sleep once we are awake isn't it !!! Anyways, I woke him up at 8 am and hope he can still take two naps today. Short ones because I don't want to go to sleep at 12am tonight due to long naps !!

10 years of marriage today. love my OH. Even though we are going thru a hard time right now we are still best friends and love each other very much. And little t came to enhance our love even more .

 

[julesjules100]

Borboleta: I can't believe OH didn't find it funny! Oh well, it amused us And I think today is your anniversary so congratulations to you both!

Ah you have a closet video game player too. It's so funny as James really is the last sort of person I would have thought enjoyed that but nope, his dirty little secret. He describes the Playstation as "Mother, brother, secret lover...". I'm ashamed he's mine lol! He has the shooty games but other "hunting gathering types" although the names of all evade me as I'm no longer pre-pubescent. He did play one called BodyShock or BioShock or something of the ilk but would play it late at night on the weekend and apparently he'd scare himself! Fool.

Very pleased the make up is a success and I know exactly who you're talking about with the leather faced woman in There's Something about Mary! Methinks that's a shade too dark for you then. Lucky that they would exchange it for something else. I have SOOOO many foundations now from the run up to the wedding and testing lots that I seriously do think there's enough to last me until I drop down dead (and in every shade I may ever turn).

Angel: I will be sure to post lots of pics of LO (assuming he doesn't look too much like Shrek).

Annoying to be under house arrest during the football and I can't blame you for wanting to avoid the police and fans. Can you hear noise in your house from the match when it's on? I've only ever been to Chelsea's stadium twice (both under duress) and agree, not handsome at all. The two sunshine days for me were lovely but I did too much yesterday with the cleaning. We do have a cleaner but she only seems to do the same surfaces over and over and won't climb up on top of things to clean or pull things out. I wanted to pull all the beds and furniture out on the top floor (in her defence that takes all my brute force when not preggo so don't expect her to do that) so DH was a reluctant accomplice (read pissy as hell).

Sorry too to hear that D was hysterical when your OH left. I'm sure it is just a phase. Mummy is often the one that is offering the most care and if there most of the time so it's easy to see that you are a constant and perhaps he just notices Daddy's absence a little more at the moment

Claire: welcome back! Pleased you had a good time, albeit in the wet! You haven't missed too much great weather over here save the odd one or two days that were frankly fab.

Sabrina: sorry to hear you had another bad night…. Hopefully he'll be tired out tonight and crash out.

And speaking of bad night - I can't sleep to save my life (asleep at midnight then awake from 2am until 7.45am and then just got up at 9.30) - I'm demented right now as it's relentless. Did any of you US/Canadian ladies use Unisom PM when pregnant? A friend of mine bought some back for me and I'm really keen to try it. I assume it's no more aggressive than Tylenol PM and I'd be prepared to take that.

x

 

[SabrinaKat]

we had a proper afternoon nap, in fact, he literally crashed at 4 and even though woke up briefly at 4.40, went back to sleep until 5.30, then woke up with a smile! hopefully, crankiness was due to lack of sleep and we, cross fingers, have our happy little man back!

jules - the last few months for me were really hard sleep-wise as LO was head down (I think throughout the entire pregnancy - LOL!) and on my bladder, so I always had to go to the toilet. And couldn't even rest as if I slept on the left-side, I got his hiccups; on the right, he would be hitting me and on my back, he would crowd my lungs with his legs (I am petite and he was long!)

borboleta - what about a ready stash/supply of pacis nearby in T's room? I always have a spare or two nearby just in case? (I also bought a few holders, e.g. they clip on his sweater and he (in theory) can't misplace, but he can unclip them and throw the dummy on one side and the string/holder to the other (loads of fun when out in the stroller for a walk!)

hope all are otherwise well....bye!

 

[kosh]

happy aniversary borboleta!

sabrina - sorry about the bad night, hope tonight is better

jules - i think this is probably late, but i meant to say re. birth options and that that I think I was soooo scared that I was too preocupied with how I wanted my birth to be. I wished I would have been able to relax a little bit and focus in the important part - not the 'hows' and 'whens' of the birth but that my son was soon to be in my arms

 

[AngelUK]

Good morning ladies.

Sabrina I am sorry you've been having such bad nights with Finn. I hope last night was better?
Did your DH try to wriggle out of taking care of F cause of manflu? (I know you said it is what you had but men always have it soooo much worse and hence manflu! lol)

Borboleta congratulations again on your anniversary! Such a cute family pic on FB My OH and I aren't married but we met for the first time in January 10 years ago. But I met him online in a London based chatroom (not a dating site) and we chatted online for 6 months before we actually met in person.
As for Tarantino movies, maybe I am a child too but for me they are too violent... and odd lol (Though oddly enough I don't mind the violence in Game of Thrones. ) I don't think that the violence would affect T as yet but I am always worried that the flashing images might be bad for them? I don't let the boys watch tv at all. Except the very slightly animated nursery songs that OH downloaded for them onto the external hard-drive of our tv. We also have Lenka's Everything at Once and Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds on that cause they love those songs. Sebastian I think is in love with Lenka as he gets up really close to the screen and stares when she is on lol Very cute lol.
Good idea with the Gerber Puffs! I hope he comes to associate the stroller with treats rather than with crying and gets over this phase.
As for T losing his paci during the night, our boys did this too of course which is why we now put about 6 or 7 in the cot and distribute them on all sides so that they will always find one within reach no matter where they moved during the night. Works great, except that Sebastian likes to throw some of them over the sides in the morning or give them to Dominic through the adjoining cot bars lol

kosh thank you, I am slightly reassured that G cried like that too as this probably then means all babies do it at one time or another and I didn't do everything wrong with my Dominic

Jules my OH is into video games too. He plays both on his phone and his xbox and is not at all ashamed of it either. lol I don't really mind, some of the games he plays are really great to look at for their graphics, such as Assassins Creed for example. But yeah he plays BioShock too and that is kinda disturbing as a game. I myself play(ed) Zelda on the DS Lite and one on the Wii. Or the freakishly annoyingly addictive Candy Crush on FB lol Yep I am a nerd and so is OH lol
I am sure your baby won't look like Shrek! That is another advantage of a csection, babies don't get so squished and look much smoother
And yes we can hear the noise of the football games. The cheering and chanting gets on my nerves sooo much lol. Of all the sports football is my very least favourite! When I moved to this flat 20 years ago, Fulham was third division and the stadium quite a bit smaller, hence not so many ppl during match days and not so often either I think. But of course since then it has come up rather. Thanks Mr Al-Fayed But it is the only downside to my area. It is so utterly lovely here by the river and the park that even if we manage to save enough money for a bigger place, we will try our utmost to find something here in the Bishops Park area.
As for not sleeping at the end of pregnancy, yeah I remember that one. But for me it was cause I was so uncomfy and everything hurt. Do try and rest up as much as you can during the day you poor thing!
As for your DH getting pissy cause he had to help, !

As for us: Nothing much new here, except that today we are going to level 3 gymboree for the first time Looking forward to it and hopefully it will help their cruising.
The boys have started sleeping over an hour for their morning naps and the difference is seriously noticeable. Dominic wakes from it with a smile rather than a whine. The afternoon nap is still only 30 mins even though Dominic obviously wakes still tired from it he will not sleep longer I haven't braved putting them in their cots for it yet btw So reluctant to have to go the CIO route again.
Oh and a milk question for all: We have no switched to 1 year + toddler milk as I am not sure that I want to give just normal milk as yet. This milk has a lot of vitamins etc and I find that reassuring. But on the "tin" it says to give two bottles of 150ml a day only. My boys are on 3 bottles at 180ml a day and I am really not sure which bottle to cut out. So far they have one when they wake up, one at 3pm and one before bed time. Do you think I absolutely have to cut one out or should I just continue as is?

Hm I think this is all.
Oh and what an absolutely AWESOME episode last night's Game of Thrones was! Best one yet!

Got to go give breakfast. Hope you are all well

 

[charlie15]

Just a quick one as Sophia seems to be napping, this moment won't last for long though!

Welcome home to sunny England Claire! Yes sunny yey yey yey. Can't wait to get out again today in my flip flops, seriously need to sort out my feet though, they are shameful! Jury service can be deferred once and they will usually call you back within the year. I did it 3 years ago and got a murder trial for 6 weeks. Obviously without baby, I loved it though but I think it is more often boring and for most only lasts 2 weeks. But yep tough with a LO whose very use to SAHM.

Happy anniversary Boroboleta! Yes lovely pic on FB of the family. Must take one with OH and Sophia ASAP!

SK sorry about your lousy nights, they suck. I have had 3 nights to catch up as OH has done nights! However after 2 nights I was offered help in a shop ( m&s for UK ladies) as the lady thought I was sick and that was AFTER 2 nights sleep and a haircut and colour

Right as I thought S is awake, so more personals later me thinks.

Enjoy the sunshine UK ladies

X

 

[SabrinaKat]

slightly better last night - he went down around 9ish and some whimpering throughout until about 1am when I brought him into bed and proper wake-up at 3.30am, I gave him a bottle and then I sat him up for some meds and sippy cup (cold water) around 4am as he had a slight temperature and he wanted to play! A few tears later, he eventually fell back asleep around 5 (or I did, who knows) until 7am, so broken yet, but he was in okay spirits, which helps alot.

word of advice: NEVER give a blueberry muffin to a baby/wobbler wearing white socks! and posh plaid trousers (think I can get out of those though)! (for UK/Irish mummies from Jojo maman bebe!)

angel - we moved to 1 yr+ as well and offer as much as he wants (4-5 times a day, about 400-500ml) with sippy cup/regular cup water on offer as well....my assumption is that as long as it supplements and is not the only thing to drink/eat (although we offer a bottle upon waking and before bed) like before with formula, then 300ml is a minimum, e.g. I drink loads of water a day and think that as long as something is available, it's okay -- plus, somewhere like Texas or a warm day in London, LOs will need more anyway!

and no, no manflu with OH - although he keeps complaining that he might have broken a rib (WTF?) when he was 'drunk' last week, no sympathy from me and if he tried to wiggle out of a night with LO, well, I took him my nights last week! He is very good with LO and does loads for/with him (bottles, nappies, etc), it's just the housework that annoys me. Today, he asked if there was anything he could do, and I said yes, clean the litter trays and he said now or later? I said last night (when I asked him), but he did do it, but the cats HATE when he cleans the trays as he uses bleach on the floors and I don't, so they actually poo on the floor to show him that they hate it (LOL!)....

must go and scrub blueberries out of socks (or else, make some finger puppets?)....

hugs to all!

bye!

 

[SabrinaKat]

ps. think I got the blueberries out of the trousers with OxyGen (Tesco own, though); worked perfectly! yeah! (not so bothered about the socks, tho!)

bye!

 

[Borboleta]

Jules: I have to take a picture of my make up drawer !!! My OH's cousin that is really into make up couldn't believe that I had so little !! But I have the essentials !!! For her wedding my MIL treated me and my SIL to have our make up done with a professional. She told us to bring our make up in case he wanted to use anything. I got so nervous about it and so my SIL ( she is not big in make up). So she went first to have her make up done and she should him what she had and after seeing just a couple of her things he said that he would use his stuff !!! I was soooo relieved!!!
Sorry to hear you are not sleeping well. I am telling you is your body getting you used to the lack of sleep that is about to come!
And one more advice, this week really enjoy your clean and beautiful house! That will end as soon as the baby comes in the house and it will get worst!!! I was crazy about cleaning and organizing the house but now I don't even care anymore!!!

Angel: I always wanted to ask you how do you bathe the boys? Do you put them in the tub together? That must be really cute. Thiago doesn't know what is to take a bath by himself. He always does with either me or OH. Normally me.

Sabrina: glad to hear your night was a bit better. Poor Finn. I just talk to a friend of mine that has a 18 months old and she says that she is exhausted! Her little one has being getting her canines and it is so needy and whiny!! I told her same here !!!

Charlie: so sorry little S is giving you a hard time to sleep. Is it hard to put her down or she wakes up during the night, or both? We all know and have gone thru this so . Lack of sleep sucks!!!!

Question: do you ladies take your LO's to lunch or dinner at restaurants? We do it quite often and thiago does fine but when he starts fussing we put the iPad in front of him and he just either plays his fisher price games or watch simple learning videos or pocoyo. It helps a lot!!!

 

[julesjules100]

Angel: That was it! Assassin's Creed. He loved that one. I will admit, if it was on in the background it was somewhat interesting to watch re graphics. I think Tomb Raider was similar too.

Watch this space on my Shrek Baby. His nose is stuffed in the placenta so I'm really hoping that that accounts for things. If not I'll be seeking a refund.

Completely agree on the river. I used to live over at Canary Wharf before here and in the summer would walk home after work for an hour each evening in good weather and trace all the way along the river. The river is the thing that I actually love most about London and I really miss being able to do those walks... Now if I want to walk home it's through south London and I don't feel like being shot most evenings!

Sabrina: given the debacle last week I would take secret delight that he thinks he's broken his rib, but then I am evil this way. Good to hear though that he is as least very good with LO. I hope my DH will be the same. He has promised that once things are settled he will cover 2 nights per week sleeping with LO alone (I'm doing the other 5 while on mat leave) so hopefully he will stand by that promise and I will get a little rest….

What a gorgeous day in London today! As a result, I have been in the garden for most of the day and even caught the sun on my leg! Happens so rarely in the UK lol. My only other ridiculously easy venture today was the arrival of the car seat, which I have had a play with and tested on the bugaboo. For your viewing pleasure a pic attached (ok, I know this is old hat for all you but it has given me a kick to do it today ) x

 

[julesjules100]

Jules: I have to take a picture of my make up drawer !!! My OH's cousin that is really into make up couldn't believe that I had so little !! But I have the essentials !!! For her wedding my MIL treated me and my SIL to have our make up done with a professional. She told us to bring our make up in case he wanted to use anything. I got so nervous about it and so my SIL ( she is not big in make up). So she went first to have her make up done and she should him what she had and after seeing just a couple of her things he said that he would use his stuff !!! I was soooo relieved!!!
Sorry to hear you are not sleeping well. I am telling you is your body getting you used to the lack of sleep that is about to come!
And one more advice, this week really enjoy your clean and beautiful house! That will end as soon as the baby comes in the house and it will get worst!!! I was crazy about cleaning and organizing the house but now I don't even care anymore!!!

Angel: I always wanted to ask you how do you bathe the boys? Do you put them in the tub together? That must be really cute. Thiago doesn't know what is to take a bath by himself. He always does with either me or OH. Normally me.

Sabrina: glad to hear your night was a bit better. Poor Finn. I just talk to a friend of mine that has a 18 months old and she says that she is exhausted! Her little one has being getting her canines and it is so needy and whiny!! I told her same here !!!

Charlie: so sorry little S is giving you a hard time to sleep. Is it hard to put her down or she wakes up during the night, or both? We all know and have gone thru this so . Lack of sleep sucks!!!!

Question: do you ladies take your LO's to lunch or dinner at restaurants? We do it quite often and thiago does fine but when he starts fussing we put the iPad in front of him and he just either plays his fisher price games or watch simple learning videos or pocoyo. It helps a lot!!!

Our messages crossed again lol!

I would say that I have quite a bit BUT most of it hardly ever gets used (the foundation is a case in point) and I mostly use the same products all the time. I've never had my make up done professionally before for an event - it makes me a bit nervous really plus i actually really like doing my own. My SIL had hers done for her wedding day and the make up trial was actually scary - she looked like she was a drag queen! Looked lovely on the day but that really made me nervous.

I get that about the sleep but prepping me virtually every night for 9 MONTHS?!?!? That's just crazy. I don't need that! What would have been useful is my body training me to wake for a while and then go back to sleep and then wake for a while and sleep but now all it's doing is waking between 2 and 4am and is keeping me awake for at least 4 or 5 hours at a time!!!! That has been SO hard especially when I rarely nap in the day. I'm looking forward to him coming and my hormones returning to normal as I honestly think I will get a bit more rest then than I have since conception. Most days I'm running on 4 hours sleep max, a couple of days ago it was 2 hours and it's like this night after night. At least when he's here is can hopefully follow the rule "sleep when he sleeps". The other thing I'm looking forward to is being able to take heavy pharmaceuticals to knock me out every once in a while. Come to me zopiclone.....

x

 

[SabrinaKat]

very serious LO!

 

[julesjules100]

Super cute Sabrina! x

 

[clio]

Oh man, guys, I am so far behind. Again, lost posts, and so on... But I started a post in Word this time, so I shouldn't lose it, but I started it around 3 days ago, so it will be completely outdated. So please bear with me.

*************


SK—I love your OH stories. I know he can be incredibly insensitive, but at other times he’s funny in his bizarreness. A lot like my sister, I think. My friends used to await new “oh my sister!” stories from me because her actions were always so far beyond comprehension that it was hilarious. That is, when they weren’t strange and worrisome. Did I tell you guys about the time I told her about my “online presence”? I joined pregnancy. org back in July 2007, and although I took some breaks here and there, I was a regular contributing member for years (but no more—the poor BB is slowly dying). Anyway, I told her about how great these forums are, and how many friends I had made over the years and she freaked out on me. She told me that it was so dangerous to make such friends and reveal so much about myself online. And I sat there, looking at her, wondering if I should remind her that every single person she has dated in the past 10 years she met online on a dating site. She even met her baby daddy online. As well, she was an active participant on FB for years. I decided to risk her wrath and pointed this out, and she could see absolutely NO parallels.

As you can see, we’re all quite afraid of her. My mother doesn’t even dare to ask after her own granddaughter. I honestly think she has a personality disorder of some sort or another. Maybe Jules, our resident psych expert, can someday diagnose her.

Sorry! That was quite a tangent, SK. Let’s get back on track: it seems to me that you really miss academics. Why did you choose to go to the UK to do your PhD instead of staying in the States? And did you want to go on and get a university job? Oh, and did you hear that Ken Burns has a new doc coming out soon on PBS? It’s about a group of men—I think Blacks only—who were unjustly accused of rape in the 1980s. Sort of a modern Scottsboro Boys story.

I have to get J some big boy shoes as well (ones that are not rubber galoshes). I’ll go to the second hand store soon. I think he’s a size 3. But no Velcro—I know that J would be able to get those off in a second.

Jules—ah, Sloggis. I used to love those…when I weighed basically nothing. I had no idea they were supposed to “support” me because back then, there was nothing to support. They just felt really comfortable. Though, I recently tried on a pair of my mother’s that she had left here and wanted to die because they are now so uncomfortable.

How are you feeling? I don’t know about the others, but I’m counting down the days for you. It’s rather exciting. What will be sad is that you will disappear for a while (but hopefully not forever…). I think this must be the most nerve-wracking thing about knowing your c/s date: you know your c/s date. I have given it a great deal of thought, as I feel my opinions are incredibly important, and I think you should just get knocked out. I was so out of it during my “awake” c/s that I thought my husband was a nurse, stroking my hair. My husband was very confused as to why I was constantly thanking him for “going over and above the line of duty.”

Will we find out the name when your LO is born, or are you able to tell us now?

AFM: Even though it is almost over, I’m still having a real problem with the expectation that I am to take care of J and work at home at the same time. He gets so upset that I’m working and can’t pay much attention to him that he becomes utterly destructive (e.g. he scribbled on and tried to tear apart my students’ essays, even though I thought I had put them in a safe place). Who on earth thought this was a fair arrangement? Eric has Teaching Assistants who mark his essays and exams for him and he’s presented all of his courses before, which means he didn’t have to write any new lectures this past semester. And here I am, struggling to get something done that HAS to get done today, but requires a lot of cross-checking and careful emailing and therefore, a very clear, organized head, but J refused to do any independent play. Then OH comes home, sees the situation, says “I’ll take him off of your hands so you can finish,” proceeds to eat lunch and lets J run back to me. I ask for help again, OH calls him to come into the kitchen, then calls his mother, and BAM, back J has come. I couldn’t flip out, which I was getting closer and closer to doing, because I didn’t want J to experience my growing anger. OH eventually finished his lunch, decided to take J out, and then wanted to know where his coat is, and his boots, and the diaper bag. My lord, I’m still fuming, even now. I asked a long time ago if there were any way to put J into daycare once or twice a week so I could really work, and was told I was being ridiculous.

I talked to my mum about it today, and she also thinks this is also ridiculous. And she was quite amazed to hear that Eric has declared from on high that he will make the final decision as to whether I will work next year if they offer me a course or two. It has to do with the bi-polar, because apparently he is the final arbiter when it comes to the combination of the illness, the family and me working. But he won’t entertain any other options…like DAYCARE. I know it sounds completely archaic that he should feel he has the right to make this decision, but remember the time when I came home from lecturing and he had called my psychiatrist, MIL and my own mother because I had a particularly bad morning?

Ach, who knows. I may not even get offered a course. But if I disappear from the university’s radar for another 2 or 3 years until J is ready for pre-school, they’ll stop offering me courses.

******************

So I'm posting this incomplete post so I can try to catch upl