any other over 35 first time mums?

[Borboleta]

I forgot to answer one of Angel's questions:

Angel: the milk: I think the amount of milk you are giving the boys are okay. I was told by the pediatrician that thiago should be having no more than 24 oz of milk. So he has cow's milk before his two naps and before bedtime. When I had to have this change done I felt terrible because I thought that thiago was not having enough milk, but after about a week and seeing how his eating had improved when I slowed down the milk I relaxed. And he loves his cow's milk. I buy organic whole milk so maybe something you can think about for Dom maybe.

Jules: I know the feeling about no sleep during pregnancy. I had trouble sleeping since I was 6 weeks pregnant. And I would tell my MIL and she would ask me if there was anything wrong with me and that I should ask the doctor why I was not sleeping!!
And the picture of the stroller is sooo cute!! I am sure you are super excited about that.

Clio: so sorry you are dealing with trying to care for J and be a good teacher. Maybe if you talk to you OH again about the daycare for just a 3 or 4 hours twice a week he would be okay with it. I plan on putting thiago in a preschool twice a week when he turns 2 or 2 1/2. Yesterday OH took thiago to the park and he met a lady that runs some daycares around this area and she is a lot of experience with child development and she told OH that if we can keep thiago home at this age that it would be the best thing for him instead of going to a daycare. She said that they need lots of love at this stage and they do not get that kind of special time at daycare. So I don't know. My mom had to go back to work and we had a living nanny that we adored. But maybe a couple of days a week wouldn't be so bad . But at the same time some of us have no option and without our money we couldn't afford our living. I have huge respect for working moms. You heart must drop every time you have to drop you baby at daycare. I wish we could be payed to be a stay home mom .

 

[Borboleta]

Ohohohoh I forgot to say to Sabrina what a cute picture of Finn!!!! ! My godness gracious he looks so cute and grown up with his new shoes. Such a sweet heart!! What size shoes is he now? And we have a pacifier leash too. Best invention ever!!!!!

 

[SabrinaKat]

hi, gang - another night, another coughing baby with slight vomit (oh, well.....), but it's OH's night tonight, so hopefully, I will get some sleep.

daycare: personally, I think I have the best of both worlds, e.g. LO is at creche from 7.30 to 2pm, interacting with other children, getting lots of attention from the staff (small group ratio is 1 caregiver to 3 babies) and doing some activities I wouldn't do at home (painting, gluing, etc), also developmentally, he sees other babies crawling and now cruising, but I get him from 2 to 6 by myself before OH gets home. I think there are good and bad points, but I like having a bit of a break myself. and that, clio is something that might benefit both you and J. J is actually of an age where some limited socialisation with other children without mummy might be beneficial and perhaps suggest to OH that J try even two mornings a week on a trial basis? I can appreciate that he (OH) is protective, BUT J needs a bit of J-time as well and at our creche, there are cameras, daily report sheets and daily activities and Finn seems really happy there OR perhaps even sharing babysitting with a neighbour, e.g. you look after J and a neighbour's child for a few hours every week and they do the same for you (if, of course, you have neighbours/children, etc., that you could do the same with?) or even get a graduate student IN THE HOUSE to look after J while you are there? (I had a lecturer at Oxford who did that and it was a great system for her; another had us housesit his cat when he went on holiday and that was great (good wine, a video player and a HUGE house in North Oxford (this was back in the late 1990s, tho); OR leave the house when OH is there so YOU can concentrate (although I HATE studying in libraries (photocopies are my best friend and can be used at home) so perhaps by being creative (e.g. not daycare per se), you might hit upon a compromise that allows you to concentrate on your work but also reassure OH that it is in fact a great idea for J to have some time for himself?

why I went to the UK to study: well....after my boyfriend/partner died, I was supposed to continue at NYU, but took some time out and ultimately, got into Toronto and Oxford as I wanted to get out of NYC (didn't get into Princeton), and although I had decided to go to Toronto (scholarship), my heart was for Oxford and fortunately, got a scholarship and it is one of the best places to study Roman history anywhere and I just didn't feel like going back to the States....then, I moved to Ireland (back in 1999, very easy immigration rules) and met my OH, etc. I would love an academic career, BUT at the moment, no time with LO (no brain energy!), and there are simply no jobs here in ancient history or in the UK, so we might one day go back to the USA...

Borboleta - Finn is a 3F (they said it was a narrow foot, but mine are small and wide, so who knows where he gets his lovely toesies from!)

must go and get some proper sleep! hope ALL get decent sleep tonight!

bye!

 

[kosh]

sabrina - Finn is soooo cute! (Gael is 3.5G ie chunky feet )

clio - don't understand why Eric doesn't want J to go to daycare even part-time? I wish I could have an arragenment more like sabrina (instead of 5 days a week, full-time) but in any case, I have to say that Gael is happier since he started nursery. It was very difficult at the beginning and we both went through lots of crying, but he really enjoys it now, and I think he's also happier when he is with us afterwards. I agree that they need lots of love and attention at this age, but I also think that they can benefit from having some mummy- (and dady) free time.

 

[Borboleta]

Okay this is my OH last night around 1:30am when thiago woke up crying:

OH: you should go check on him!
Me: let's wait a while and see if he goes back to sleep.
OH: he is pissed!!
Me: he is fine glen let's try to see if he goes back to sleep on his own.

3 min. Later no sound and thiago is back asleep!! Man !!!

Kosh and Sabrina: in any way I meant to say that your OH's are not being loved because they go to a daycare. I was just passing along the info that this lady that my OH met at the park said to him. That is her point of view as a daycare manager. Again, we had a living in nanny growing up for 8 years and we loved her sooo much. And as some of you know living in nannies do not cost nearly as much as it costs here or I am sure in the UK otherwise my sister and I would be in a daycare too. I didn't think I was less loved because my mom had to work. I had great respect for her. My SIL in another hand until this day says that she wished her mom didn't have to work while growing up and maybe that is where some of her issues come from ! So it is all so different from kid to kid. I have my issues but I don't blame on my mom leaving me with another person . As long as you are happy with your arrangement and the people that work at the daycare that is all that matters. I have to say though that my only issue with daycare is germs !!! But if I worked outside the house and thiago had to go to a daycare he would be in a daycare.

 

[kosh]

borboleta - don't worry, at no point I thought you meant that, I know you were just sharing this woman's comments plus, if there is one thing I have no doubts about is how much love Gael gets!


ETA
just noticed you actually said that your OH's are not being loved because they go to a daycare

 

[Borboleta]

borboleta - don't worry, at no point I thought you meant that, I know you were just sharing this woman's comments plus, if there is one thing I have no doubts about is how much love Gael gets!


ETA
just noticed you actually said that your OH's are not being loved because they go to a daycare

Okay I laughing sooo hard right now !!!!! That might be true !!!

 

[SabrinaKat]

no offence taken! I agree that some daycare providers might not be suitable (perhaps the woman in question isn't happy with her job?), but once there is a good fit, it can be a great thing. In fact, my mother had to work after my parents divorced and we went to childminders and I wish we had gone to a creche (back in the 1970s, so not usual for mothers to work) as I would have liked to be around/play with other children (not just my brother!) We are thinking that when Finn gets a little older, we might get an au pair as it's cheaper and I would like to expose LO to another language (e.g. maybe Portuguese or Spanish - my OH would love a Brazilian au pair -- I said sure, as long as HE's male - LOL!). Oh, and because our families are so far away, it's great for us to meet other parents with LOs around the same age (unfortunately, we don't have loads of facilities for under 5s, such as Gymboree or activities for toddlers, as we are about 30 miles north of Dublin)....

I like the comment about OHs though!

bye!

 

[SabrinaKat]

hope all are well? We had an okay night -- it's actually becoming the norm for me to put LO in bed with me around 12-1am (on top of the covers!) as otherwise, his general fussiness means you keep having to get up - LOL!, but last night was okay-ish....

not much else, sorry!

bye!

 

[Claireyb1]

It's very quiet on here?!
Nothing much to report here - Lucy's sleep is still very hit and miss and I'm tired today
Not long now for Jules!!! it's so exciting - we will have another newborn on the thread very soon!!!

Right,off to bed for me

 

[Borboleta]

Good morning ladies,

How are you all doing? It is kind of slow in here isn't it! But at least we check in once in a while .

Well, today I am going to take thiago for a free Gymboree kind of class. What I am planning on doing is the next three weeks go around three different places that offer a free trial class and see what he thinks. But man it is expensive!!! Then I will find out story times at the public library here and bookstores. I am just trying to figure it out what can I do with him when is 100 degrees outside. We will definitely sign up for the public pools.

Question: when are your LOs more active? Thiago has no energy in the morning!!! I can totally see that in the future I will have to drag him out of bed to go to school ! But when 8 pm hits , the boy just gets filled with energy and good mood! It is so funny! He giggles and runs ands wants to be chased around the house, loves playing hide and seek ( he always tries to find me). I think he will be a night owl like my OH. .

Little t woke up twice last night but went back to sleep on his own because no own went there to try to rock him back to sleep . And he just wakes up for 2 to 5 min. It is amazing! I should have done this a long time ago ! And he loves that I have put two extra pacifiers in his crib. He switch pacis all night long and brings them to his face like it is a stuffed animal ! So you know how my whining him off the pacifier is going !!!

 

[SabrinaKat]

my OH very fussy at the moment -- will pop in later!

bye!

 

[Claireyb1]

Well,today we had our hospital appointment regarding Lucy's egg allergy and the MMR jab.
He decided he would be happy for her to have the jab at the doctors as per normal. He wanted to do some skin prick tests to see if she was still reacting to eggs,he also wanted to test for peanuts too.
No allergy to peanuts, but still a significant reaction to egg
so she hasn't grown out of it yet
She also had bloods taken so they can test for the exact bit of protien in egg that she reacts to. The doctor said that she may be ok to have baked eggs ie. in biscuits and cakes etc,but we would need to wait for the results.
Poor Lucy screamed so hard when she had the blood take - it was horrible! I felt so guilty and to top it off she kept crying in her sleep in the car on the way home

Right off to do bedtime now

 

[clio]

Re: Day Care--neither OH nor I have any trouble with daycare...now. OH had a big problem with it back when I started this course and I was quite insistent that I could not work at home with the kid around. Nope, he said, you'll have to work at night. But I can't, when my tendency is to work all day. So, I'd be taking care of the kid all day and then work all night?

Anyway, everyone sees the need for daycare now, and we'll figure it out as we go.

Okay, J wants to FaceTime Grandma.

Bye!

 

[clio]

Facetime with G-ma went very well. J ran away and my parents were stuck into the wine (it's two hours ahead there, so, wine time).

But then we went outside and saw a kind woman in the neighbourhood with a toddler whom we met last spring when J couldn't even roll yet. And she gave J a toy trike-like thing that her daughter had out-grown. J loves it. He somehow can only get on it so he's facing backwards, and then can only make it go backwards. Yup, that's my boy.

So, (and that's a very exhausted ), I'm done. Everything mark- and paper- and exam-wise was submitted this afternoon, my mother comes on Monday, and, as she says, that gives us 2 days to get used to the mess that is our house. Not CLEAN the house, just come to terms with it even though she's coming. I love my mum. Unless I don't, but hopefully this visit will be a "I love my mum!" visit. What it does mean is help with J, many trips to IKEA and Ten Thousand Villages--do you guys have that store?--as she still has to kit out "her" room (when she's here, she sleeps in my room, so she feels its her responsibility to decorate it. No argument here!). Oh, and tons of stuff for J. Though we have to start culling and selling stuff on Craig's List. This is getting ridiculous.

I'm also wondering how much hiring professional cleaners for spring cleaning would cost. I already hired an eco-friendly gardening service that takes care of our lawn all summer long because everything was covered in dandelions last year, so I don't know if we can afford it. But it would be sooooooooooooo nice. As you can see, Eric and I are very hands-off people. So hands off that our entire living space, garden and all, is a disgrace. I hope J grows up to be a neat person. That is so not in his genes...

J's favourite new word: "no." His favourite "sentence": "gimme". He came up with that one today.

Borboleta--I think it's just a lull right now. The thread does that from time to time. It'll pick up, even if you and I have to write all the posts ourselves...

And OMG, your night was just like mine two nights ago. Including the conversation with OH. OH even did the research and discovered that this waking at 4 am every morning is just a comfort thing and to STOP GIVING IN. But OH won't stop, even though we've been through this already twice! He even goes in to reason with J: "Now Jonah, it's too early in the morning, son. You've got to go back to sleep." And then he leaves. And since J can't even say his own name properly, I'm pretty certain that this conversation was not particularly effective. And because reasoning doesn't work, OH then goes down and gets him a bottle of milk. I think he left him alone last night, but forgot to ask in the midst of having a minor breakdown while preparing the last things for the course. But he WILL NOT go in this time, even if I have to camp out in front of his door!

I think it's great that you're trying Gymboree. And other play things, too. I think T will love it.

Claire--welcome back! It sounds like you had a wonderful time, and Lucy, too! Though I'm sorry she's still allergic to eggs. Do they say when babies typically outgrow it?

Angel--Gymboree, that's awesome that S and D have "graduated" to the next level! That's what J was in, and it's really good for cruisers. Not all of the babies can walk yet in that group.

Oh, and do you remember my "Dadeeee" crisis from a while back? He'd just stand at the door and cry "Dadeee Dadeee Dadeee!!!!!!" when OH would leave. I was so, well, hurt. But it only lasted around a week, and we were back to him yelling for and yelling at both of us.

Jules--I'm thinking about you!

SK--I totally agree--you sound like you have it made in the shade with your work/creche combo. I think I'm going to visit a lot of day cares to see what they're like, and try to choose them using yours and Leeze's and Storm's criteria. But there don't seem to be as many good day cares here; many are run in people's basements, and I want something more reputable. There's an Edmonton daycare guide or service, though. My SIL is using them. But I don't think that she's particularly happy with what's on offer. Oh well--we'll see.

If I missed someone, I'm sorry!

 

[SabrinaKat]

Not much here (again), but to be honest, I actually prefer the boring/mundane! LO didn't have an afternoon nap (I had errands to run and so had arranged for him to stay at creche until 4), but he pretty much fell asleep around 9ish and was only fussy about 1am (so I brought him into bed) and slept until 7am, so even though it was a bit broken, not too bad!

It was actually quite nice NOT doing any housework or cooking yesterday (I usually do when LO has an afternoon nap), and we ordered takeaway (LO had some carrots and brown pitta for a snack), and even went to bed around 10pm (but read in bed with my Kobo....)

hope all are well!

bye!

 

[AngelUK]

Good morning ladies, sorry for being quiet so long again. Dominic has changed from the happiest sunniest most smiliest boy into a whiney needy little thing lately and it is difficult to be absent from the sitting room (where both boys are) for more than 5 to 10 minutes at a time before he starts wailing at the gate. Even when we are in the room he isn't always happy to get on with things. Not sure what is going on. I don't think it is teething as he has never had problems with this and he has no red gum, nappy rash or any other symptoms. Any way I try and write this post before their breakfast is due as I rarely have time to after.

Claire I am sorry Lucy's egg allergy is still going. Is there still a chance of her growing out of it now? But I suppose it is good news that you can go ahead with the MMR. We have to schedule our boys too but I am reluctant as my brother keeps scaring me. His children have not been vaccinated at all and he keeps telling me to do so is to poison them.
Anyway I hope Lucy has recovered from those blood tests and doesn't dream about them any more, poor little sweetie!
Have you managed to defer your jury duty yet? My own was boring as heck. I was sitting in the waiting room at Old Bailey for about a week and was called once but didn't make it into the selection of the 12 as I stood in the back (and it was in one of those famous old oak panelled courtrooms too!) and I think that was for a gang killing or something like that. After that I was transferred to the court at Blackfriars where I sat about for another week. I thought I had escaped but then on the last day I got a case of GBH which was no such thing and was really just a petty argument between two weirdos lol. It only lasted 3 days so that was ok. While at the Old Bailey I heard they were trying a case of child murder and I was so scared to get something horrific like that!

Charlie you poor sleep deprived thing! I hope it is better now with S' sleeping and napping? That story about being offered help in M&S is just so depressing! You poor thing!

Sabrina thank you for your advice re the milk. I find it reassuring that you give more still too. We offer water throughout the day and also juice sometimes but I am not sure they really are thirsty or just enjoy drinking cause they always down everything offered. I must admit, the juice we give is delicious! It is by Annabel Karmel and I wouldn't mind drinking that myself! Had I known about this juice during pregnancy I wouldn't have had such trouble finding something to replace the Diet Coke!
I love your stories about your cats. They sound like proper fur persons! It always makes me smile to hear about them
How is your OH's rib? Is it in fact broken? I think that is very painful if so but nothing much can be done in that case. I know what you mean about being annoyed with your OH about household stuff. My OH does pretty much nothing unless asked multiple times. Well, except clear the sitting room of toys and mats in the evening and do the cooking. He does that every evening I must admit. But there can be a full and tied up rubbish bag sitting in the middle of the kitchen and he dances around it while cooking and won't take it out unless I remind him over and over again. I don't get it. I often do it myself in the end even though it is hard on my back.
Yay for getting Blueberry stains out! I must try the Tesco stuff cause Dylon is rubbish for colour runs!
Oh and I absolutely love your pic of Finn and his new shoes. So cute!
How is sleeping going? Still fussy? Hope you manage to get some good sleep

Borboleta Thank you also for your reassurance about the amount of milk we give the boys. They eat their solid foods very well but because of Sebastian they are still on stage 2 foods I guess we shall wait till he gets molars lol.
I am glad T is taking so well to not being rocked to sleep at night any more. I wonder if perhaps it took so long usually cause it was actually keeping him up and now he falls asleep by himself and it is much quicker?
We bathe the boys separately and use an inflatable duck to sit them in. Only since we got this, does Sebastian not scream the house down every time! I think he was scared in the bath seat and the big bath. But in the duck he feels more snug? Not sure. We probably will bathe them together eventually to save on time (it takes us an hour at the moment to bathe them both) but so far we really love the duck and want to use it till it grows too small
As for your question about restaurants, no we do not take them anywhere like that. We take them to a café occasionally after shopping but it is small and they know us there. Usually we go around 3pm so that they can have their milk and be happy. If we drink stuff and they don't get anything then especially Dominic will protest loudly! lol
Good luck with your gymboree classes and the other things you are going to try out. I hope you find one that is not too expensive and fun for both you and T

Jules how are you doing? So close now! And you are not going to have a Shrek Baby! I am sure he will be very cute
I didn't know your area was dangerous to walk in in the evening?! I had such a lovely image of Dulwich! It seems so leafy and quiet. But then again I only know the part around the Picture Gallery and you said that isn't where you are. No wonder you want to move away from there. Your hallway looks lovely and elegant though. So you obviously have a very nice house
And to butt in on your conversation with Borboleta about the makeup, I know what you mean about being scared of having it done professionally! I used to go to a lot of balls when I was younger and once I did have my makeup done by a makeup artist. Well... I am very pale, I know but I always liked that. And I had the most ravishing red dress (there is a picture of me wearing it in one of my FB albums) that made my skin look translucent, which I loved, even if I say so myself. Well the make up artist thought since this was the South of France and summer, I needed a tan! So she put this brown stuff in my face and over my shoulders too when I told her the dress was sleeveless etc. It was too late to wash it off and it isn't obvious on the picture but wow that was the last time! lol Also, I never wear foundation as I don't like how it makes one's skin look like suede lol.

Clio your sister makes me shake my head. Online presence these days is hard to avoid completely anyway. And yeah we do share a lot on here but I think she was in much greater danger to meet a nutcase on a dating site than that one of us ladies turns out to be such a perv! She sounds a bit scary too in that you are afraid of her temper. I wonder how her man is coping with that?
Glad your exam and paper work is done. Sounds like hard work with J there too to look after especially. Is there a vacation now or does term continue with lectures? I hope you can sort something out with daycare. I think J especially would probably enjoy interacting with other kids and have lots of activities?
Thank you for your reassurance about Dominic's daddy fixation. It still continues but not as bad I think. We haven't had a proper meltdown like that one again but he often does cry for his daddy still.
I hope the visit with your mum will be fun and that you will indeed still love her by the time she leaves lol. As for cleaning the house, see, although I loathe cleaning and it occasionally makes me cry when I see what a mountain there is, I always have to clean before anyone comes to visit. We are so messy that there is no way I could live with it. I am too ashamed. lol I would even be too ashamed for a cleaner to see it as is No I exaggerate, but not by much lol.
And J's favourite words and sentences are very effective. Very clever little boy lol
Btw the night before last Dominic also woke at 4am and cried. First time in months! So OH went in to close the window cause we thought maybe he was cold and rocked him a little. Big mistake. He cried much worse when OH left and OH went in again after 15-20 minutes and tried again to get him to sleep. But he isn't used to being rocked any more I guess and wouldn't fall asleep and then it took another 20 minutes for him to fall asleep on his own. All in all it took an hour and a bit. Thing is, how does one know everything is ok without going in and checking? I cannot see over the monitor if he leaked maybe or scratched himself bloody or something like that? It is not easy, sigh. Luckily last night he didn't wake till 6:15 this morning which is early but within normal range.

Rowan if you are reading this, we are missing you and would love to hear news about how things are going with your MnMs

How are you kosh, Leeze and Storm? CeeDee are you still here with us too?

As for us: nothing much else new. Sebastian refused to nap in the morning yesterday even though they usually sleep over an hour in the mornings now. He woke Dominic who therefore only had 15 minutes in the morning too. They then both slept for an hour and twenty in the afternoon which is unheard of, Usually it is only half an hour. So I wonder if perhaps I should drop the morning nap and just have them nap after lunch? But usually Dominic drops off for his morning nap within 2 or 3 minutes of being put in the bouncy, been given his dummy and muslin. So I think he does still get very tired? Not sure what to do there. Any ideas? How much do your LOs nap?
ETA Also what kind of games do you play with your LOs at home? I mean I sing with them and have the nursery rhymes on the HD on tv and I hop them on my knee and I lie down on the floor so they can climb over me and let them pull my hair (not willingly!) etc but what games can I play with them? I roll balls and clap hands and imitate their sounds etc but to be honest it does get a little boring for me at times. And I feel bad for admitting it but there you are So I need suggestions what other "games" I could play with them please?

Ok got to go. OH has been looking after the boys while I finished this. And I always feel guilty being online when he is with the boys. :/
Hugs to all!

 

[Rowan75]

hey ladies

am soooo behind!! Mixhael stirring as well - oh a massive pump - hes a good pumper must have wind! oh crikey bottle due in 15 mins too - best get it made - gah 2 hours feeds go by very quickly!

things going well here v busy!!! Michael is lovely and Martha is fab as usual and being brilliant with Michael - yey!

got an infection in my wound/scar but am on antibiotics and it seems to be clearing up - corr what an overhang I had - its receding now tho phew! Am 10stone 12 and was 12stone 8 the day before i had Michael so not bad - healing well otherwise and pootling about fine getting lots done - its frustrating not being able to do everything I want to but only a couple of weeks to go....have massive diastis again - bigger than last time but will do my postnatal dvd once I can exercise and that sorted me last time so Im really hoping that will help this time - if not I shall request physio lol!

Michael is putting on weight nicely - last week he was 7lb 12oz on the monday and was 8lb 6oz by the friday! he feels much heavier now!

will keep popping on whenever i can!

hope all is good with you guys x

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hey all, I'm still here, just rubbish at posting! Oh my Rowan I'm about the weight now you were when you were 9 months pregnant! How tall are you?

L is great, st ill teething but so much fun. Actually we are now officially ttc number 2 so we shall.see how that's goes.


Will post later, need a wee

 

[Claireyb1]

Hey all, I'm still here, just rubbish at posting! Oh my Rowan I'm about the weight now you were when you were 9 months pregnant! How tall are you?

L is great, st ill teething but so much fun. Actually we are now officially ttc number 2 so we shall.see how that's goes.


Will post later, need a wee

I knew the reason you hadn't been posting was because you are too busy DTD LOL how exciting!!!

Re: Lucy's egg allergy - yes she can still grow out of it. We will see in another years time when we see the consultant again.

Just found out this morning that my SIL has been diagnosed with MS!! not good really considering she is also partially disabled following a virus some years back. It has affected her mobility (which was limited anyway) poor love. and she has a nearly 4 yr old and an almost 1 yr old to deal with too

right off to do more cleaning while Lucy is out with Daddy.....oh the glamour!!