any other over 35 first time mums?

[Storm1jet2]

Here is an example of why I'd cheerfully smother DH at times... He was working yesterday so he comes home from work, L is in bed, relaxes and watches tv etc.. then goes to bed (we are all in different rooms at the moment), closes the door and thats it, his day ends - L is up at 3.58 am with a cough and only snoozes on and off in with me until just before 7, so I'm pretty much awake.. at 7 I got get DH to look after her - he sort of half does, she's into the bathroom with me as she has a poopy nappy, etc etc... I eventually get downstairs - wash the cats and dog dishes, feed all the animals - run out the door with wet hair clutching a bottle with milk in and cereal to eat in work. DH by this stage has dressed L in the clothes I left out, she's been playing with a peppa pig book I gave her to distract her while he gets ready and had to spend 5 mins cuddling her as she didn't want daddy to dress her. I'm bombing down the motorway to get to work - DH is working tonight. He leaves L into nursery at approx 9am then does goodness knows WHAT until 2.30 when I get a text asking me to pick L up from nursery so he can have a sleep before work. So now I have to bomb out of work up the motorway - 4 miles past the house, pick her up (handover and getting her into the car takes about 15 minutes so this adds about 25 minutes to my homeward journey)- get home driving back down the road where DH will no doubt still be in bed or having a shower, make the dinner, bath L, do bedtime (DH will have gone to work by this stage) do L nightshift (who knows what that will entail) get her up and out the door by 7:45 am (feeding all the animals too) to get to work again tomorrow... while DH comes home from work and goes to bed and sleeps all day.. Oh and have I mentioned i'm 30 WEEKS PREGNANT. Surely he could take his sorry a$$ to bed an hour earlier and then go collect his child??? Um nope - that is ALWAYS left to me...I could cheerfully strangle him right now - I'm tired, sore and just realized its was over 6 hours since I had moved in work! 6 hours! Moan moan moan........

 

[Kitty_love]

Sending big hugs and my love Clio So glad you can share your feelings with us.

As far as privacy, we could always start a Secret group on FB, that would be only for our eyes only (by invite only). I also just got Whatsapp on my new iPhone (but haven't used yet), we could start a group there as well.

 

[Kitty_love]

Oh my goodness, just saw my ticker as I posted, my little baby is going to be ONE in a week and a day!?!

 

[clio]

Oh, I love you guys. I talked to OH this morning, and he had absolutely no recollection of the night before (which I knew anyway because when I went in to talk to him last night, he forgot the topic of our conversation after...every single sentence. I left in exasperation and wrote my post.)

This morning he was so embarrassed. Incredibly ashamed. I told him I needed him to get a different anti-depressant which is often used to stop smoking (he also wants to stop that, too, but can't), and when I was on it, I couldn't drink either because it made me vomitous.(<--Not a real word, I know, but it should be.)

Anyway, we're starting slow. He's trying to get over the shame he feels so he will stop lying, because he knows that if that happens again, I'm out of here. And, only one bottle of wine in the house at a time.

Okay, got to go--J is getting impatient. I'll be back when I can.

Love to you all, and BLEmma, welcome and keep reading. It's nice to know that our relationship foibles can help others...

 

[charlie15]

Clio. Please don't hide your problems from us, we are all here to give you as many virtual hugs as we can

My OH has tried lying, but I see through it straight away so he gave up a long time ago!

Glad your OH has seen the error of his way, maybe scared himself a bit? I hope you see a positive change.

Went to hospital to see my friend today, bless her, goes without saying she looked awful and was extremely tired, but I think she sees this as a life changer and a 2nd chance.

Anyway hi to everyone, must get dinner x

 

[SabrinaKat]

LO seems to like toddler room (they moved him after some 'visits' last week and a quick perusal of the toys showed alot of what we have at home, so cross fingers and NO bitings today; in fact, LO almost got bit himself (which might show him that it hurts alot!).

not much else; my gums still hurt so am hoping that by the time we go to the States (in 2 weeks!), I'll be back to normal, but I never realised how 'big' a second molar is (now that it is gone)....

hugs to all, and I thank ALL of you for being honest and sharing whatever is happening in your lives as it makes my life easier, e.g. to know that I'm not alone- honestly!

hugs and must dash as LO has discovered the cat on the bed!
bye!

 

[Storm1jet2]

SK at least you didn't get dry socket! Hopefully it will have settled and healed well before your big adventure!

L has the cold, dh is lucky to be alive (today he went to the bank and to visit his parents forsaking EVERYTHING that needed done at home) and Poppy just sh*t all over the dogs bed again... Kill me now... It's only been a few days since the last bout of diarrhea, then she was fine and more tonight after being fine this am? This time she got all 3 blankets and the plastic bed... Washing machine on again (at least twice), then empty cycle with lots of disinfectant before I can use it for clothes which I need to do tonight! Arrrrghhhhhhhh

 

[clio]

Storm, I didn't know you could tell when I wasn't feeling well. It's not so much that I'm trying to hide the illness; I'm actually trying to hide how often it happens. And I always forget that I'm truly sick while in the throughs of it; I believe (and this is a symptom) that I'm making it up to get out of taking care of J. But as my OH has said on so many occasions: why would anyone want to feel this way? His other job is to remind me that it's not always this way, I just believe it is when I'm sick. Mind tricks. This illness is like a Jedi mind trick.

Now my OH can't stop apologizing, but he did admit that because he's not lying about it, the problem seems easier to manage. Then it's just guilt over one thing: the drinking, instead of two, the drinking and lying.

Would you guys like to move to a private FB page? I'm fine here, because I figure we are so deeply buried and no one knows me on this board, unlike my other one, that I feel quite safe. But I'd happily move if you guys want to. I'm not certain how messaging would work, though, Kitty, unless I don't quite get how Whatsapp works beyond texting. My one concern about the FB page is, how will new members from the board find us?

And I know--J's birthday is exactly two weeks away! We've been saying that he's two for so long now though, that the age doesn't shock me so much. I actually start to panic when I think about a year or two from now, when he goes to pre-school and I'll need to finally find something to do outside of the house. No one cares if I make any money, but it would be nice. But the thought of finding a job strikes immense fear into my heart. I'm not really one to follow through, as you might have noticed. I never became a professor, I hated teaching high school, and I can think of nothing else to do, except beg or wait for left-over courses from universities. And even that I don't want to do because of the last time, and the more you're out of the game, the less chance you have of even getting those scraps. Maybe I should start a Mommy Blog. Maybe there aren't many Canadian ones out there so I'd have a shot at getting Canadian advertisers. But I can't say that I've read many good Mommy Blogs. Nor is there much diversity among them, and I certainly couldn't add anything new. And OH would kill me if I made our lives public...

Storm, you said that Champix worked for your OH for a while. My OH actually does want to stop smoking (he says he's so tired of it all) and our GP gave him Champix a while ago, but that was when he didn't want to stop. Should he try Champix again?

And thanks for sharing your stories, guys. I told my OH that the biggest problem among all of our OH's is the lying, which he said made him feel better. He feels he is so morally weak because he can't kick the smoking or because he let the drinking get out of hand and he just doesn't want anyone to know about it. That, and lying lets him keep on doing this cr@p.

Angel--I totally forgot that you and your OH aren't married! I know that Claire isn't, but I always assumed you were. Not that it makes any difference, but is the fact that it doesn't really change your relationship the main reason why?

Charlie--I'm glad your friend is doing better, and that work isn't as bad as you thought it might be. I wonder if I could tell if my OH were lying now. I've certainly picked up on a lot of the signs over the years...

Okay, OH has taken J to the museum, so I'm going to try and take a nap. Much love to you all!

ETA--our thread with these members is hitting its year and a half anniversary and is still going strong. Yay us!!!

 

[clio]

Oh. https://www.savvymom.ca/index.php/guides/influential-canadian-mom-blogs/

Apparently there are 75 influential ones.

 

[SabrinaKat]

but, clio - your blog would have your witty, time-travelling cat and the adventures of J, so it would be unique!

I've given some thought as to what to do when LO gets a little older as it looks like I might be long-listed, but not short-listed this year for USA academic jobs and OH looks increasingly unwilling to move....sigh. I was thinking of children's books about Daphne the time-travelling detective kitten who goes through history solving 'mysteries' - clio and I could do the story, angel could do the pictures, storm could manage the computer technology, borboleta (and kosh?) could translation from english into their own native languages, and...?

must go as LO is a bit stroppy and OH is 'relaxing'. Yes, only 2 feet away from LO and technically closer than me, but I am the only one who seems to 'see' him. Odd that. Fortunately, OH doesn't lie (the sin of omission) much as I can see right through him and he is very good with LO, terrible at housework (he hasn't vacuumed his room since 2005 (we moved in then, so never....)

bye!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Clio after the first couple of weeks on champix dh didn't smoke at all for 6 months! That's why I was so so so mad he started again... He obviously was no longer physically addicted but he wanted to smoke, on fairness it was a TOUGH time (why have I taken to putting some words in capitals to emphasize them?), L was a nightmare, mum had died 2 months before and I was a weeping wailing mess. BUT I wanted to smoke and get drunk and lie in bed crying all day but I couldn't cause I had L, so it was tough for me too.

Oh and if you are happy to post here so am I

L has gone to bed with her bad cough, the washing machine is being disinfected, I need to find clothes for tomorrow and dh is at work... I am tired and who knows what tonight will bring, please please please let her sleep...

 

[Borboleta]

Hi ladies,

I am tired but it is the only time I have to write before I fall asleep.

Clio: glad everything worked out with you OH and he apologized. I can see your side and see his too. But you are the one that has the toughest side of these whole story so he just needs to try to keep it together as much as he can . He sounds like a good OH I have to say taking care of you and J. Did I. Ever tell you about a friend of mine that had chemical depression? We were the best friends for about 2 years or so ( I met her and her OH at the gym) and she told me her story of trying to get pregnant and wasn't able to. Them one day she comes in my yoga class and tells me she needs all the lights on in the room because it is not good for her depression to have the lights off. So I don't know ecxatly what to do and I ask all the members what they prefer and 98% say dimmed lights. So them starts these debate about the lights and I can see she if getting upset with people not wanting the lights on, and after the class she leaves and doesn't even come say something to me. The day after I get a phone call from my boss asking about the incident and that there was a man that called complaining about my class. And I asked her if his name was David and she said yes and it was her OH!!! I couldn't believe that my best friend and her husband called my boss and complained about me and didn't even talked to me first! Anyways, we never spoke again but I found out that she is back drinking ( she used to drink quite a bit before she had the depression). I feel bad for her but at the same time I can't trust neither her or her husband. I would still be friends of her if that had never happened.
I think you should write the adventures of Jonah.


Storm: after I read your daily life I am almost sure I am sticking with just thiago !!! Can you imagine how your life will be when the baby is here too? You will be super woman for sure!!!! And your OH still deserves the worst OH of the month !!! And you should post on ttc threads your daily life and you will sure make other woman reconsider this whole ttc thing and being married . You are amazing!! By the way, I am not getting any pets either after what I read .

Sabrina: I will translate your book to Portuguese . And what other things you miss here from the US?

Charlie: glad to hear your friend is better but she sounds like a party woman to me. Maybe this experience will make her rethink life. Is she the one that asked you why you still breastfeeding S?

Kitty: for almost one!!! Time goes by too fast .

to everyone else.

I am very busy cleaning the yard and putting Christmas decor. The house is a mess and I feel like organizing. Little by little I will get there.
We went to Santa's wonderland and man was that a mistake to go on a Friday after thanksgiving!!! The place was crazy!! My MIL was in line to have thiago's picture taken with Santa for 1 1/2hours!! And I had a fall out with OH there too to top it off the whole experience ! Thiago had fun the first part of it but them after a while he got tired and by the time he saw Santa he was already done with the place. But they did manage to take a couple of good pictures but he sat with me and would not want to sit with Santa.
OH was not being nice. As soon as we got there his mom stand in line and he wanted to all of us go have something to eat ( he was hungry) and his mom and I said no because the line was going to get even bigger if someone didn't stay there. Then I am carrying thiago and his back pack while he is in line to get the tickets and just holding his camera bag. After we go in I transfer thiago's heavy backpack to the stroller and carry thiago for 3 hours while OH is taking pictures. Thiago doesn't want to eat much of anything there and I don't have the time to go get something for me to eat. After a while he than says he wants desert and I go get myself some while he finally is holding thiago ( after me begging him) and go get his desert. While I am eating my desert I can see thiago fussing while OH is trying to eat his cobbler and giving me the look. So just eat a couple of bites of my desert and go get thiago again. Then I think OH is done so I pass thiago back to him and OH freaks out saying he is not finished !! I am so mad by then that I just tell him to go get the Santa's pictures and meet us in the car !!! On our way to the car he tells me that I am being crazy and why did I have to get my desert at the same time he did. I than tell him that if I was him I would have eaten desert and hold thiago at the same time and I held thiago for 3 hours and my arms hurt while he was taking pictures.
So the next day, I tell OH that I need him to help more and not just assume that I will do everything ! And he will soon look back and thiago will be 10 years old and he will have miss a lot of fun times with him because he is just being as present as he could. Than he tells me that he thought I wanted to hold thiago at Santa's place! The whole time!!!! I had a blast with little t but holding him for that long was not that much fun!!! Men!!!!! Anyways, I think something that I said hit his brain cause now he is so nice to us ! He apologized and send me a lovely text this morning .

I have to go to sleep is almost 10:30pm . Enough of OH's for today !

 

[clio]

SK--I'm sorry about your tooth socket (ew!), but it must be a relief to have it gone. And I'm glad that little F has been moved up to the toddlers. Frankly, I think it'll speed up both his talking and balance. Of course, I base this only on the experience I have with J, but whenever J is at the day home and hangs out with the woman's five year old son, his language abilities make a huge jump, even in one day. I assume it's because if he wants to play, he has to figure out how to make himself understood. As for the walking (why is F still considered a wobbler? Surely they divide them by age, no?), Gymboree fixed J's wobbling pretty darn quick, especially when he wanted to interact with the other kids. I'm glad F has toys there that he's familiar with, and yay for no bitings today!

And, although it may seem like I'm living in the Arctic, I still have access to all things American, so if you want me to send things along, too, it's no problem. As for the book idea, it's a pretty good one. It's good that it's Daphne who is the detective, because, as it has been definitively proven, Morgan isn't very bright. Though she will point out that it was her "string bean theory" that allowed them to go back in time, so she deserves some props. Actually, during our years of infertility and while I was pregnant, we used to make up story after story about Morgan, some of which made us laugh until we cried. I did have a story written very clearly in my mind about Morgan's first Hallowe'en, whereby she made herself a cat costume and was furious at the end of the night because she had been given candy, when she had been led to believe it would be a night of endless kibble. And then there is her ever-present nemesis, Bird...

Storm--I agree with Borboleta, and seriously wonder all the time: how on earth do you do it? I'm sorry about the sick cat, though. It sounds, well, disgusting. Turns out this little one here is a bit of a "tooter"--she's been letting some silent but icky gassers go throughout the day.

Borboleta--that does not sound like a good visit to Santa. Wow, a lot of our OHs are being jerks these days, aren't they?! It's when things are so blatantly unfair, like when you have to hold little T for THREE hours and then are chastised for eating dessert, that you wonder how on earth they possibly think their behaviour is fair. Have you ever tried holding T up on your shoulders? I started to do it after OH told me that it was actually easier than holding J (it evens out his weight across my back). Other times, though, I carry him like a football under my arm when we're out, because I can't control him any other way. We went to our version of Barnes and Nobles today, and I had to do the football carry when he began to make himself a dead weight when I took his hand. Though, for a while, I did slide him through the store with his arm while he lay on the ground, whining. Turns out, I actually don't care what other mothers think of me!

I'm glad that your OH apologized and wrote the sweet text. It's always such a relief, isn't it, when they finally get it right.

And what an odd story about your friend. She must have felt very strongly about the lighting if she and her husband went to such great lengths! I wonder what that was all about... Probably another trick her mind was playing on her.

Your organizing sounds very cathartic. Can you take pictures of your Christmas decor? OH is doing some similar organizing after I mentioned that the shelves in his room--which contain no books but random things like my flute, a screwdriver and a dining room table leg--were a national disgrace. He brought the table leg and a collection of socks with holes down this evening, and intends to continue to do it, bit by bit, until it's all organized. Sure. And I'm the Queen of Sheba.

Re: the drinking--OH drank one bottle of wine and a beer he found tonight. Then he said that he might as well go to bed, because he learned he was drinking, in large part, out of boredom. I don't expect him to drop below one bottle, though. Since it doesn't make him drunk, it's a battle I have chosen not to fight. Plus my parents, and his parents all drink a goodly amount of beer and wine after dinner (or before dinner, in the case of my parents), so it doesn't actually bother me.

Oh, and did I mention that I dropped all painkillers, including the pot, except for my slow release pain pills I take in the morning and the evening? This last bout of depression made me wonder if the instant relief pills and weed were causing it. Turns out, nothing changed mood-wise, but I realized that my joint pain was hardly noticeable, even without them! So, something has gotten stronger down there, muscle-wise, which must be holding the joint in place. So...

Oh oh. J is crying in his bed and we're in that no-man's land where we can't give him anymore drugs for at least a couple more hours. This might be a long night! Well, I'm going to go to him now, and wish you all a good night, or a good day, or whatever the case may be! xox!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Good morning ladies – after what I thought was going to be a horrendous night with Miss L it actually wasn’t too bad at all she was crying and coughing up until about 10.30, I’d given her cough medicine already at that stage so couldn’t give her anything else she settled down until near 5 when she decided she wanted mummy, so she came into bed with me for her 3rd bottle and went back to sleep curled up with me until after I got up and had my shower etc.. She woke up smiling and the first words she said were ‘Where’s Jonathan!’ (her cousin) – little monkey -she then proceeded to mess around all morning in good form until we got to nursery and she didn’t want to go but the young girl who works in her room took her to get a book so that distracted her.

As for coping – I do things because I have to, that and when I get into my head that I need something done it needs to be done then – not in man time which is usually about 6 months later! I have the dentist this afternoon to get my tooth prepped for the crown and I’m off tomorrow although I am going to see a nursery closer to the ‘new house’ as I’m still not sure if I should move L or not… It just kills me driving away from work to leave her to nursery to drive back down the road again! But please Borboleta don’t let me put you off! I have no idea how I will cope with 2 to begin with but I’m pretty sure it will be ok – eventually

As for the ‘sick’ kitty, I guess its because she is so old – she is in good form and she is looking not too bad for a skinny bag of bones I don’t see her so much as being sick – they are just little blips that come with an older more infirm cat. She mostly stays in the garage, sounds bad but the garage and kitchen are connected by a door, and she has a cat flap to the outside world so she can wander out when she feels like it, she doesn’t go far these days just the back garden and driveway. Actually that is probably something I should probably explain indoor/outdoor cats, as you are all aware I live in Northern Ireland and the norm is that your cat has access to the outside world too, indoor cats are usually due to them having medical conditions or you being located on a main road – very few people here have indoor cats only. All of my cats are allowed out but they all have access to indoors and are locked in at night We live in a cul-de-sac so there is no through traffic and plenty of gardens and local playing fields for my feline friends to go explore.

Actually coming to think about it there is something wrong with all of my animals! Poppy is ancient and has an overactive thyroid and dodgy tum, Storm has the urinary problems (thankfully no blocking for 3 years) and as a result is HUGE (like Jabba the hut from star wars), he has been catheterised many a time and the last time had major surgery through his abdomen and bladder to clean his bladder out completely, Jet has bad teeth and has had to have 4 of them out and is quite a vomity cat and Lily gets easily stressed and when she does she bites her fur off! Ah the joys of being a cat mummy! Oh and did I mention the dog had perthes disease as a pup, apparently genetic where when the cartilage starts to turn to bone the blood supply is disrupted to the ball of femur and the bone dies and crumbles! So she has had major surgery to have the top of her leg bone removed and I had to take her swimming twice a week for 6 months to build up the muscle round the remaining leg bone to create a false joint! But hey they all seem happy enough – which reminds me I need to order another sack of cat food. What do you guys with cats feed them? Mine seem to like https://www.chemistdirect.co.uk/royal-canin-feline-fit-32_1_39403.html#39403 although from experience what is seen as decent catfood in the UK is not necessarily viewed as decent elsewhere! Actually I just ordered 2 bags after thinking about it , they do get wet food too though.

Hmm this has turned into a mad pet post, I am rambling. Was just thinking this morning how blessed I am to have L, she was lying in my bed gently snoring this am (yup she is noisy) and I couldn’t stop looking at her and thinking WOW she is MINE! When she isn’t being bad she is smart, funny and adorable – I love that little girl so much!

 

[charlie15]

Yes Storm how on earth do you cope with your menagerie and L and a butt lazy OH! Does he ever read this?? I see what you mean to a point about wanting something done now so easier to just do it yourself. I have been known to be like that, but now I pick my battles and some things I will do as I want them done my way and now! Others as much as I want them done now, I leave it to OH...he gets there eventually, but that's me been stubborn as I see me doing everything gets him off the hook and that is so not going to happen! Have you ever talked to your DH about all you do and how sweet FA he does? My OH actually receives an almighty kick up the arse from me quite well

Borboleta, I am glad that your DH apologised and saw how uninvolved he can be with T, I hope he becomes more present with T now. An that woman and her DH at your yoga sound a bit nuts, better off without them! Yes my friend and her family describe this as life changing, in a positive way. No she was not my friend who made that comment, she has always taken the piss out if me been earth mamma, but in an affectionate way. She herself has 2 children in their early 20's. I can honestly say she is an amazing mum, in a very down to earth, no nonsense way. She would go to the end of the earth for her boy and a girl and she has the most wonderful relationship with her children, I just hope I can have half of that with Sophia.

Clio, for less pain that's great news for you. I have been meaning to say that I think it's great that you have found this lady for J to go to. It sounds like he loves it and hopefully is helping you when you're not well by giving you some space. I recall a post a while back about been lonely in Edmonton, it does sound very isolating. Do you think living there is also a kind of background trigger for you? Is there no way you could ever move back to Toronto if you thought that would help?

Kitty, cannot believe B is almost 1! Have you anything planned for his birthday? What pressies are you getting B? I am ashamed to say I got Sophia such crappy presents for her birthday but I hope to redeem myself at Christmas, not with loads of pressies, but a better choice of present. I have already got 2 books, Tabby McTat....another cat book but I know it will go down well and peep inside the zoo, which is a beautiful lift the flap book, very cute!

Angel, have you had that visit yet from the HV, or was it a speech and language therapist yet?

 

[Borboleta]

I remembered that I was going to tell Clio that my sister in law was in Calgary for the thanksgiving week. She wet to visit a friend up there. Is it close to you?

 

[SabrinaKat]

The difference between toddler and wobbler is age (according to the creche) in that all children by the age of 2 will join toddler room; Finn is 22 months (21 months adjusted) and a little petite for his age, so I was concerned about some of the bigger children, etc., but developmentally, he seems much happier there. Unfortunately, another biting today. I overheard the grandparent who picked up the other child ask who was the nasty child who bit her (and I wanted to smack her/bite her (the grandmother!) and ask why her child 'wouldn't share the toy, e.g. why was she such a piggy-pig! (Finn always bites when he wants a toy another child has, but obviously, sharing isn't a concept for a 2 year old yet!);, but obviously said nothing. (I dislike this grandmother as she pushes ahead to get to strollers and then gets annoyed if anyone is ahead of her, no manners whatever). I mentioned to the creche staff that I was pretty upset, especially with the 'nasty' comment. aargh.

not much else here. Just tired. Always tired.

hugs to all!

bye

 

[clio]

Borboleta--Calgary is three hours south of us, and the closest major city (though I would argue that Alberta only has two major cities). I guess where you live will affect if you think it's close or far. I find it far, but seeing as it's the only other city worth visiting here, three hours ain't all that bad. If I lived in Toronto, though, where there are so many towns and cities in one area, I would consider Calgary to be ridiculously far away. It's certainly a more beautiful and interesting city than Edmonton. You can see the Rockies from there. Did your friend like it? And why was she there?

Charlie--I'm sure that living here is part of the problem. I would like to be able to just drop by my mum's or my sister's on a whim if I'm bored, or if J is a handful that day. Which, let's face it, is every day. And I miss the beauty of Toronto and my hometown, Oakville. I used to ride horses back in Ontario, too, and it brought me such joy, but I never found a barn here that I liked. And then came the injury, which put me out of the riding game altogether.

And I certainly am lonely and completely isolated. I haven't been able to leave the house for days now because it's been snowing and snowing and snowing and the driving is so treacherous. We have two cars, but one of them is my 10 year old tiny tin can of a car that is literally blown sideways when I pass a truck, and has absolutely no safety features. And I insist that OH take the safe SUV because, well, I don't want him to die. And then there is the issue of friends: I don't have any. I'm an introvert anyway, and hate parties and get-togethers. Plus, all friendships that I have developed here have been compromised by my illness. People just don't understand it, or even believe me, and I end up feeling like a fake or a fool when I hit a rough patch. So, I keep to myself.

But we can't move back. OH is a Western Canadian historian, and nobody out East has any need for a Western Canadianist. And tenure track positions and even contract teaching gigs are so hard to come by out there, while OH has completely cornered the market here and makes a healthy living off of it. J will thrive out here, as well; my family is toxic, while OH's is large, close by and healthy. So, I guess I am collateral damage, in a sense. OH and I don't like it, but there is nothing to do about it right now.

Storm--wow! What you've been through with your pets is astonishing! Swimming to build up a fake joint? That's coo-koo bananas!

AFM--I started to look into how to do a blog and make money off of it, and it is quite an involved process, but actually do-able. But even with all of the marketing infrastructure in place, you still need traffic, and that means writing interesting things to attract readers. Do you think I could actually do it? Looking back at my long-winded answer to a simple question from Charlie, I'm thinking, no. Yet, J does provide a lot of material and I can write concisely if I try. I'm going to go back and look at those top 75 best mommy bloggers in Canada and see what they're doing. For the most part, it seems to be along the lines of: "Things I never thought I would say to my kids," or "Ways I've turned into my mother." And that's not really my style, which is good. Do any of you have friends who blog?

Interestingly, one of the major fights I've had with my mother recently was about her loathing of Mommy Blogs for reasons I didn't quite understand. But it turns out that she has never read one, so she's not really a reliable critic.

ETA--oh man, my homesickness is worse than I thought. The first blog I looked at had a picture of the "mommy" with her children on the U of T campus. I actually choked up. I'm still choking up!

 

[clio]

SK--oops! We crossed posted. That grandmother sounds horrid. And I'm sorry that there has been another biting. What do the creche people say about it? They are the experts, of course, and should be able to shed some light on the matter and at least advise you on how to deal with it, other than suggesting that something is happening at home!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Pffftt SK granny is an idiot. I never asked who bit L although we know and I made it very clear to the staffi had ZERO issues with said child. If granny doesn't know kids bite she's lead a pretty sheltered life...

Oh and Clio dog swimming, I has to take her to a horse training pool, pay £5 a time, but her on a harness and basically make her swim laps... The pool was like a big donut so I went over a tiny bridge and stood in the middle. It was a rough and ready pool but it did the job!

Bath time for L, back later!