any other over 35 first time mums?

[SabrinaKat]

We had another night of LO in tears....growl. Rereading some recent posts by Clio, Leeze, etc., sounds like our OHs don't get it -- re: sleep, I mean!

I usually rock LO to sleep and sing a little bit to him, and 90% of the time, he's asleep for naps within 5-15 mins, but obviously, maybe once or twice a week, it doesn't work. Getting to sleep at night is much harder and twice this week, LO has struggled....he'll fall asleep around 9pm, but then wake up around midnight and it will take an hour to 2 hours (last night) to re-settle him (on Tuesday and Thursday nights, he slept through from 9 to 6 am on Wednesday night). My OH buggered off to bed, so when LO woke up screaming with teething pain last night at 11.30, I called for him to come and help (he sleeps in the spare room 5/7 nights (takes LO 2/7 nights), we gave him some calpol, etc., and he settled down but not to sleep....every time I though I could get LO into his basket/cot, he would wake up and this went on for an hour (did I mention my OH had gone back to bed?), and my OH's solution was to put LO in his cot, stand over him, whispering 'sssh, go to sleep', with the baby crying and ultimately, screaming. It was, in my opinion, the cruellest way to deal with a baby in obvious pain and/or crying/screaming also due to tiredness. My OH help insisting that the baby was falling asleep even though only the screams were getting more hoarse, and I told him to eff off back to bed, and I finally got LO settled via rocking and singing. Needless to say, I'm not happy with him today....

growl.....

ps. he is otherwise very good with LO, e.g. changes nappies, makes formula, plays with him, but in terms of getting LO to sleep? Useless!

 

[Rowan75]

bless - i was up a lot last night gah - am sat hopin nartha will go to sleep in her cot (shes already had her leg stuck through the bar so its a good start) as i took her out for her usual 9.15 walk to get her off to sleep and got absolutely soaked - got round the corner and thought hmm this is getting heavier than drizzle - well i looked like id had a bath when we got in even through i turned straight round! lol

need to wash my bloomin hair before we can go out to tiny treasures play this am so please nap for 20 mins martha! i spose i could just say the grease is water from the rain lmao except i think the rain would roll right off it like ducks feathers

scan tmro - nervous!!

 

[Indigo77]

Rowan...

Try dry shampoo!

 

[Borboleta]

Just wanted to share with you w funny comment that my husband's old boss made about thiago college fund:

So my husband tells him that we already started saving money for his college and his boss says: " with your age you might not be able to save very much cause you might be dead by the time he goes to college " . The geriatric maternal and paternal age hit hard after this comment.

How is Angelk and the boys doing?

 

[clio]

OH MY GOD GO TO SLEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!

I used to resent that book "Go the F*** to Sleep" during my infertility years because when people would talk about it, it was like rubbing salt into the wound. Now, well, GO THE F*** TO SLEEP!!!

What is it with our LOs? Or our OHs? My husband is on a mission to get this kid to nap, which is stressing all of us out. He assumes that every time the kid cries, he is ready for a nap. Not that he might be hungry, but ready to sleep. So he takes him upstairs and feeds him, which J happily accepts, but then he starts screaming the house down when my husband tries to put him down. BECAUSE HE IS NOT TIRED. I sent my husband off for a nap, because he was clearly becoming (even more) unhinged, and spent the next two hours playing with and feeding J. Finally, he was ready for bed. I put him down, no problem. My husband gets up, we're all calm and happy...and J starts crying. Then my OH goes crazy again, saying that he is sure he can get J back down to sleep and spends the next 30 min rocking him and trying to stop him from crying. Finally, he came to his senses and brought him down.

J puttered around for a bit, I went downstairs to do the laundry, came up again, and J and my husband are gone. But, the white noise machine is on and I know where they both are. He's trying to put the boy down, AGAIN. If he succeeds, okay, but I think J is really going to start developing an aversion to any nap time at all because of my husband's ridiculous mission. And then he'll never sleep again...

Oh dear. And now they're on the way down again...

We had another night of LO in tears....growl. Rereading some recent posts by Clio, Leeze, etc., sounds like our OHs don't get it -- re: sleep, I mean!

I usually rock LO to sleep and sing a little bit to him, and 90% of the time, he's asleep for naps within 5-15 mins, but obviously, maybe once or twice a week, it doesn't work. Getting to sleep at night is much harder and twice this week, LO has struggled....he'll fall asleep around 9pm, but then wake up around midnight and it will take an hour to 2 hours (last night) to re-settle him (on Tuesday and Thursday nights, he slept through from 9 to 6 am on Wednesday night). My OH buggered off to bed, so when LO woke up screaming with teething pain last night at 11.30, I called for him to come and help (he sleeps in the spare room 5/7 nights (takes LO 2/7 nights), we gave him some calpol, etc., and he settled down but not to sleep....every time I though I could get LO into his basket/cot, he would wake up and this went on for an hour (did I mention my OH had gone back to bed?), and my OH's solution was to put LO in his cot, stand over him, whispering 'sssh, go to sleep', with the baby crying and ultimately, screaming. It was, in my opinion, the cruellest way to deal with a baby in obvious pain and/or crying/screaming also due to tiredness. My OH help insisting that the baby was falling asleep even though only the screams were getting more hoarse, and I told him to eff off back to bed, and I finally got LO settled via rocking and singing. Needless to say, I'm not happy with him today....

growl.....

ps. he is otherwise very good with LO, e.g. changes nappies, makes formula, plays with him, but in terms of getting LO to sleep? Useless!

I'm sorry it was such a crap night.

It's amazing when they do things that are so counter-intuitive, isn't it? (See above...) I really don't like to believe that women and only women instinctively know how to do certain things regarding the care of babies, but when my husband does something so completely against common sense, I begin to wonder...

Just wanted to share with you w funny comment that my husband's old boss made about thiago college fund:

So my husband tells him that we already started saving money for his college and his boss says: " with your age you might not be able to save very much cause you might be dead by the time he goes to college " . The geriatric maternal and paternal age hit hard after this comment.

How is Angelk and the boys doing?

Oh, I would have slugged him, then cried. You're a much stronger woman than me, Borboleta!

And I agree, how is Angel and the boys? Angel, where are you?

 

[SabrinaKat]

Barboleta - I'll be retiring (if I go back to work) when my LO goes to college (am 44, will be 60-61)!

Clio - to be honest, I was forever feeding LO when he was crying, and only by keeping a log of nap times did I realise that he might be tired (the earliest days....months....).

My OH and I agreed that we would 'try' to be a bit more understanding of each other (hard when exhausted, tho), as his work colleagues have pointed out that we're pretty lucky at my method works well most of the time (if he takes 3-4 naps a day, weekly, then 28ish naps and usually 2-3 are problematic a week; night-time harder with 3/7 problematic -- but last week was pretty good, this week, not as good as was teething!)

Didn't go get immunisations today, rescheduled to next week as it was a rough night and LO took an almost 3 hour nap this afternoon (yeah!), so I think it was a good call....

off to put dinner on a plate (salmon, potatoes and broccoli for OH, salmon on salad for me (yes, sounds virtuous for me, but I did eat half a choco bar earlier!)....

byeeeee!

 

[clio]

Barboleta - I'll be retiring (if I go back to work) when my LO goes to college (am 44, will be 60-61)!

Clio - to be honest, I was forever feeding LO when he was crying, and only by keeping a log of nap times did I realise that he might be tired (the earliest days....months....).

My OH and I agreed that we would 'try' to be a bit more understanding of each other (hard when exhausted, tho), as his work colleagues have pointed out that we're pretty lucky at my method works well most of the time (if he takes 3-4 naps a day, weekly, then 28ish naps and usually 2-3 are problematic a week; night-time harder with 3/7 problematic -- but last week was pretty good, this week, not as good as was teething!)

Didn't go get immunisations today, rescheduled to next week as it was a rough night and LO took an almost 3 hour nap this afternoon (yeah!), so I think it was a good call....

off to put dinner on a plate (salmon, potatoes and broccoli for OH, salmon on salad for me (yes, sounds virtuous for me, but I did eat half a choco bar earlier!)....

byeeeee!

Wow, you have this down to a science! That's really impressive. I can't even remember how many bottles a day J has. Though I guess if I started recording it, I would...

Problem is, my husband is really bad with schedules and recording things and so on. Not that he won't do it; rather, he will, and then get horribly obsessed and then have a minor meltdown, then a major meltdown when things get slightly off-track. It's easier to go on "instinct." Whatever the hell that is.

For us, nights are really great (that is, we can put him down for a long time, but we unfortunately wake up pretty early) but naps are spotty. We used to be able to count on one day of being relatively awake, and then a day of fat naps. Now, we're lucky if we get one fat nap a day. Or even, a nap. Darn it.

Bah!

 

[Rowan75]

gah what a day - dh with martha or ten mins befoer night time reoutine kicks in...lordy I am not ready for this stage! major baby proofing tmro! all she wants to do it walk (holding onto my fingers) stand up by herself and walk along holding on to the sofa (by herself) im a nervous wreck!! plus crawling is definatly achieved - lordy - what with feelig sick alll the time and shes only had 2 25 min naps I am Exhausted - you have to laugh!!

didnt get to tiiny treasures - managed to wash my fringe tho so thats a bonus! Lmao

 

[AngelUK]

I am here! Sorry I am MIA a lil, my mum is visiting (staying at a hotel though) and it curtails my online time. The boys are doing well and we had a really great night last night as I reported in my journal and kosh's other thread (one has to spread the happy news, dontcha know ). Dom slept from 7 to 8 then to 10 and then to 11:30 when we fed him. After that he woke at 2 and then 3:30 for his bottle and then he slept till 7! Actually Sebastian woke me at 6:30 cause his nappy was full of pooh but Dom was still asleep! I didn't sleep till after midnight cause I was anxious but I actually did get some hours of sleep and felt soooo much better today ! I really hope he will sleep like this again tonight
Now I am going to gobble up a pasta bake OH made cause yeah my hiney is vast anyway lol

 

[Leeze]

Sounds like lots in common re OH's. Mine often says things where he means well but I get infuriated. Like, he says we should get her to sleep earlier or get her to nap better. Like we could somehow develop a project plan with some actions and goals and it would all just fall into place! Rowan, how exciting to have your scan tomorrow. Let us know how it goes. The washing hair or showering issue, I've discovered that if I time it right - so after Kia has had her breakfast - then I can bring her in the bathroom with me and have a quick shower. I put her in her bouncer and load it up with toys, leave the shower curtain open so she can see me and put her right next to the shower. I also sing to her the whole time, a made up song about mummy having a shower, a lovely lovely shower! If I can do it within 5 mins or so then she's ok. That gives her just enough time to pull all of the toys off the rail on the bouncer and throw them on the floor. Not the most relaxing shower ever but it's better than not washing for 3 days at a time which is what I've done many a time! We've just ordered Indian take-away and it's just arrived so I'll wish you all a calm evening and chat soon x

 

[skweek35]

Hi ladies,
Borboleta wrote about this thread and I thought as I'm so close to having my first little pink bundle I would pop over and ask I if I could join now so I dont loose track.

I am 36 and - as some have already mentioned - feel for more ready now to have children. Dont think I would have been a good mommy in my 20's as I was just tooo selfish and immature.

 

[AngelUK]

Welcome skweek35 and congrats on your soon to be LO

 

[SabrinaKat]

welcome, skweek! I think I'm the oldest mum on this thread (a few others in babyclub are the same age or a year older) at 44 (!). Got lucky the month we were going to start our first cycle of IVF, and agree that being older sometimes is better -- e.g. in my 20s, I was travelling, studying, and in my 30s had met my now husband, so for me, 40s are best!

After my LO's almost three hour nap, he only cat napped around 5 and around 7.30, but seems (cross fingers) to have gone off to proper sleep tonight without too much fuss -- we rock him in his bouncy chair and usually, I sing to him, but am trying not to as much, so my OH can duplicate my 'system', e.g. gentle rocking, and maybe HE can put him to sleep one night without my help! Also, it's OH's night to take LO into the spare room (I get two nights a week to try to sleep without LO in the room), but I still have broken sleep (or else, am used to the white noise of the sleep sheep and now can't sleep without it)....

glad to hear the LOs are okay, angel -- poopie nappies in the am are always the worst....

best wishes

ps. went to see the creche yesterday and LO liked it, e.g. they brought him into the baby room and he was interested in the other babies and playing with toys, etc., (he can't sit up completely on his own, so one of the junior babies staff held him in his lap), and right on cue, at exactly 2 hours from his last nap, he started crying and in his stroller, fell asleep)...but I liked them, the ethos, etc., and it seems LO did too! Of course, it's only for three mornings a week come October, and it will be good for LO and me to have some separate time, but sigh, he's getting to be such a big boy!

 

[Borboleta]

welcome, skweek! I think I'm the oldest mum on this thread (a few others in babyclub are the same age or a year older) at 44 (!). Got lucky the month we were going to start our first cycle of IVF, and agree that being older sometimes is better -- e.g. in my 20s, I was travelling, studying, and in my 30s had met my now husband, so for me, 40s are best!

After my LO's almost three hour nap, he only cat napped around 5 and around 7.30, but seems (cross fingers) to have gone off to proper sleep tonight without too much fuss -- we rock him in his bouncy chair and usually, I sing to him, but am trying not to as much, so my OH can duplicate my 'system', e.g. gentle rocking, and maybe HE can put him to sleep one night without my help! Also, it's OH's night to take LO into the spare room (I get two nights a week to try to sleep without LO in the room), but I still have broken sleep (or else, am used to the white noise of the sleep sheep and now can't sleep without it)....

glad to hear the LOs are okay, angel -- poopie nappies in the am are always the worst....

best wishes

ps. went to see the creche yesterday and LO liked it, e.g. they brought him into the baby room and he was interested in the other babies and playing with toys, etc., (he can't sit up completely on his own, so one of the junior babies staff held him in his lap), and right on cue, at exactly 2 hours from his last nap, he started crying and in his stroller, fell asleep)...but I liked them, the ethos, etc., and it seems LO did too! Of course, it's only for three mornings a week come October, and it will be good for LO and me to have some separate time, but sigh, he's getting to be such a big boy!

Glad to hear you and him liked the crèche. And you made me laugh about the white noise. I loved when LO was in the room with us and we had the white noise on. OH hated for some reason. But it used to make me sleepy. Now we just listen to the noise from the baby monitor but not the same.

 

[Borboleta]

Hi ladies,
Borboleta wrote about this thread and I thought as I'm so close to having my first little pink bundle I would pop over and ask I if I could join now so I dont loose track.

I am 36 and - as some have already mentioned - feel for more ready now to have children. Dont think I would have been a good mommy in my 20's as I was just tooo selfish and immature.

Glad you are hear with us. So how are you feeling? The third trimester was my least favorite! I was getting miserable by the last weeks! So you are waiting to see if you are having a boy or a girl? Any preference?

 

[clio]

Welcome skweek35! Of course you can join us. Yay! We'll have a newborn! Congratulations on your little girl! How's the pregnancy so far? When is your EDD?

gah what a day - dh with martha or ten mins befoer night time reoutine kicks in...lordy I am not ready for this stage! major baby proofing tmro! all she wants to do it walk (holding onto my fingers) stand up by herself and walk along holding on to the sofa (by herself) im a nervous wreck!! plus crawling is definatly achieved - lordy - what with feelig sick alll the time and shes only had 2 25 min naps I am Exhausted - you have to laugh!!

didnt get to tiiny treasures - managed to wash my fringe tho so thats a bonus! Lmao

Good luck! Can you tell me what you end up doing? The vast majority of our house is still a danger zone.

I am here! Sorry I am MIA a lil, my mum is visiting (staying at a hotel though) and it curtails my online time. The boys are doing well and we had a really great night last night as I reported in my journal and kosh's other thread (one has to spread the happy news, dontcha know ). Dom slept from 7 to 8 then to 10 and then to 11:30 when we fed him. After that he woke at 2 and then 3:30 for his bottle and then he slept till 7! Actually Sebastian woke me at 6:30 cause his nappy was full of pooh but Dom was still asleep! I didn't sleep till after midnight cause I was anxious but I actually did get some hours of sleep and felt soooo much better today ! I really hope he will sleep like this again tonight
Now I am going to gobble up a pasta bake OH made cause yeah my hiney is vast anyway lol

This is fantastic! And hopefully your mum can help give you a bit of a break. Mine is coming in 10 days or so, and I'm really looking forward to it. DH and I can actually go to a movie!

SabrinaKat--I'm so glad about the creche! It must be a relief to know that your LO will be in good hands.

 

[Leeze]

Welcome skweek. you must be so excited! Hopefully we can share some of our wisdom (!?) with you! I know what you mean about feeling ready later. I was about 36 when I felt ready. We started TTC when I was 37 and LO was born when I was 39. The best advice I was given in 3rd tri was to get lots of easy to cook food ready in preparation for those first few months. Like freeze some home-cooked meals and fill up the cupboards and freezer with tins and packets of things that are easy to prepare. I'd also add to get as much rest or sleep as you possibly can; and do fun stuff with your OH like go for dinner, to the movies etc. How are you feeling about it all? Xx

 

[clio]

Welcome skweek. you must be so excited! Hopefully we can share some of our wisdom (!?) with you! I know what you mean about feeling ready later. I was about 36 when I felt ready. We started TTC when I was 37 and LO was born when I was 39. The best advice I was given in 3rd tri was to get lots of easy to cook food ready in preparation for those first few months. Like freeze some home-cooked meals and fill up the cupboards and freezer with tins and packets of things that are easy to prepare. I'd also add to get as much rest or sleep as you possibly can; and do fun stuff with your OH like go for dinner, to the movies etc. How are you feeling about it all? Xx

^^wss!

 

[Rowan75]

welcome skweek - urgh 3rd tri bless you!! nearly there

leeze when you say bouncer do you mean the chair type https://www.google.co.uk/products/c...=X&ei=sYA4UOeGGIXJ0QWbyICoCQ&ved=0CJ8BEPMCMAc or another type - cos we havent been able to use her bouncer since 5 months as she was climbing out and tipping it over - am very open to new ideas if its a different type tho

sabrina so pleased creche went well - wil make such a difference - when do you go back to work?

ah people have such helpful parents - mine as very haphazard - theyll say they are coming and then i wait in and they dont come cos they wanted to sit in their garden instead

 

[skweek35]

Oh my gosh, thanks for such a warm welcome ladies!
Definitely sticking around here!
Our EDD is 3rd November and we are having a little girl! We are very excited that its a girl - so many boys in the family and all my friends are having boys!
Just 10 weeks to go! EEKK Time has really flown by!
I have never felt better! I have been so healthy all through my pregnancy! I was only sick 1ce in the 1st tri. The worst for me was the tiredness!! (So not much to complain about here!)
Been feeling really tired again the last few days and seems like insomnia is creeping back again! URGH!!!

Thanks for all the advice ladies. I think I will have to teach my DF to cook a few easy meals or we will rely on take aways and the burger shop! He would love that!

Your babies are all sooo cute!
I am really looking forward to 3 months time when I have my little lovely in my arms. Have waited so long for her! I just want her here now!

Sabrina - I see you are living in Ireland - where about? My brother, SIL and nephew live in Dublin. My parents are there this weekend. (giving me a break! teehee)
So glad to hear the creche went well.

Rowan I see you are pregnant again - Congrats! How you feeling this time round?