any other over 35 first time mums?

[Borboleta]

:wave: Kosh & ladies!

I will try to catch up on this thread now, (if my LO will let me).

I'm 40 with a 1 month old. His name is Niko Alexander & here he is....

https://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j456/Indigo77/9d28ea89.jpg

He is so sweet & cute & cuddly & I love him so much I can't stand myself.

Is anyone else FFing?

He is sooo cute. Congratulations on your LO.
I too combi feed for 2 1/2 months but started with the formula from the hospital. I had a terrible time breastfeeding for the first month and when I finally started to enjoy and get the hang of it my milk dry up! Oh, well he still loves his similar.

 

[tweety pie]

Congratulations!

How old are they now?

Hi indigo they are 6 wks old now and putting weight on nicely, Charlotte was very small at birth but is now catching up.

Thanks everyone for such a warm welcome it's so lovely to talk to other over 35 ladies and hear all your stories.

 

[Indigo77]

Welcome Borboleta!

:wave: ladies!

N did not have a good night last night, so he's sleeping in this morning.

I hope you are all well.

My mother & MIL will be going back home soon & my hubby is going back to work.
I will be on my own very soon & am dreading it. I need to find a mommy group, I think.

 

[Indigo77]

Indigo, I wouldn't worry. We FF right from the start and I was so concerned by how little he would take (as much as yours, essentially), and it went on for months. Moving up to 4 ozs at around 4 months was a major milestone. And even then, it seemed too little. But he is slurping down 8 to 12 ozs now. Which takes sooooo long...

As for bedtime routine, I've got nothing new to add. Bath, dark room, white noise machine, bottle and sometimes snuggles and falling asleep in our arms, and sometimes not. I think he's just too hot right now for snuggles... We didn't start our routine until 2 and a half months, though, when he suddenly seemed ready for it. Before that, we just winged it.

Thanks

I think I need to take a different approach

I keep worrying about whether or not I'm doing everything correctly

I think i need to relax a bit & follow my instincts more

 

[Borboleta]

Welcome Borboleta!

:wave: ladies!

N did not have a good night last night, so he's sleeping in this morning.

I hope you are all well.

My mother & MIL will be going back home soon & my hubby is going back to work.
I will be on my own very soon & am dreading it. I need to find a mommy group, I think.

I remember the first month and half was really hard. I didn't enjoy it. To tell you the truth I really just connected with my baby boy when he was about 1 month half. You are sleep deprived, hormones are all over the place, people coming and going from your house, if you are by yourself you wonder when are you going to eat and take a shower and plus that little life that needs lots of love and care . A lot to cope with.
But wait a couple of months and it is the best time. When they start smiling at you even if they wake up at 2 am ! I love it!
My hubby is trying at the moment the baby whisperer tecnique to put the baby down. We will see if it is going to work. We have different views of what we think is best. He does not like to hear baby crying for very long . If it works I will let you know and maybe you can try with your little one. Not sure when she recommends you to start ... He might be a bit too young still.

 

[clio]

I totally agree with Borboleta. Seriously, I don't even remember the first six weeks. All I remember was not being able to put him down, and then, suddenly, at six weeks we could, and all sorts of options opened up for us.

As for the Baby Whisperer, I think it totally saved us. Not because of her at-times-draconian ideas, but because she provided us with this schedule that was so easy to follow. At one point, I realized that the boy was running our lives, and not in that "expect the baby to dictate your lives" way that we had been warned about. He was always just tired and cranky, we were always tired and cranky and felt that we were always trying to play "catch up" with his needs. So, I got the Baby Whisperer book and followed her EASY method for a while. It allowed us to relax, because we knew what came next: just ate? Activity time for an hour! He liked it too, and we started feeling just a little bit less frazzled.

But then my husband got SO obsessed with keeping to the schedule that I tossed it out the window. But the skeleton of it remains.

 

[clio]

My hubby is trying at the moment the baby whisperer tecnique to put the baby down. We will see if it is going to work. We have different views of what we think is best. He does not like to hear baby crying for very long . If it works I will let you know and maybe you can try with your little one. Not sure when she recommends you to start ... He might be a bit too young still.

Oh, the Shh Pat and the PU/PD methods! I never got anywhere with those. They did not help him sleep. (Singing the Paul Simon song book really loudly in his ear did, though.) Seriously, EASY was the only thing I got out of that book.

 

[kosh]

you were lucky, ladies, i think it took me nearly 3 months to start feeling more in control but our situation is different we are very much on our own all the time, and although DH works from home most of the week, there were moments i felt i couldn't cope. but we had a very difficult start re. BFing etc. but then at 3 months everything started to seem easier somehow.
it's true though, you see them smiles and forget the lack of sleep, everything

 

[kosh]

oh,just remembered, the only book i got was the 90min sleep programe when Gael stopped napping, and it was really helpful

 

[AngelUK]

I wanted to do the EASY method for a while but either I didn't understand it correctly or it doesn't work for my boys cause they want to sleep after they have eaten. I tried playing with them after a feed and even to put them on their playmat. They started crying and throwing up lol. Also how would that work with bed time? Our boys get a bottle and then its to bed. I cannot imagine putting them down successfully after they have been playing for an hour. And then at night when they want to eat, am I supposed to play with them for an hour at 4am? I haven't read the book cause I am just too exhausted in the evening to do much more than come on here, eat, stare sightlessly at the tv and then drop into bed for 45 mins till Dominic wakes again screaming Maybe someone could explain it a lil better to me, please? Recently Dom is sleeping so badly that I hate and dread evenings and nights

 

[Borboleta]

I totally agree with Borboleta. Seriously, I don't even remember the first six weeks. All I remember was not being able to put him down, and then, suddenly, at six weeks we could, and all sorts of options opened up for us.

As for the Baby Whisperer, I think it totally saved us. Not because of her at-times-draconian ideas, but because she provided us with this schedule that was so easy to follow. At one point, I realized that the boy was running our lives, and not in that "expect the baby to dictate your lives" way that we had been warned about. He was always just tired and cranky, we were always tired and cranky and felt that we were always trying to play "catch up" with his needs. So, I got the Baby Whisperer book and followed her EASY method for a while. It allowed us to relax, because we knew what came next: just ate? Activity time for an hour! He liked it too, and we started feeling just a little bit less frazzled.

But then my husband got SO obsessed with keeping to the schedule that I tossed it out the window. But the skeleton of it remains.

Great to know that baby whisperer worked for you guys. How long did it take your LO to finally sleep better during nap time? My baby sleeps great at night goes to bed at 9:30pm or 10pm and wakes up around 6 or 6: 30 am them we feed him and he sleeps for couple of hours more. But his naps are like 30 to 45 min long and he gets a little crabby when he does not sleep well. I would love for him to take at least 1 hour which he does if I am sleeping in my bed with him. Them he sleeps for 1:30, 2 hours. Little stinker . I love sleeping with him.

 

[Borboleta]

I wanted to do the EASY method for a while but either I didn't understand it correctly or it doesn't work for my boys cause they want to sleep after they have eaten. I tried playing with them after a feed and even to put them on their playmat. They started crying and throwing up lol. Also how would that work with bed time? Our boys get a bottle and then its to bed. I cannot imagine putting them down successfully after they have been playing for an hour. And then at night when they want to eat, am I supposed to play with them for an hour at 4am? I haven't read the book cause I am just too exhausted in the evening to do much more than come on here, eat, stare sightlessly at the tv and then drop into bed for 45 mins till Dominic wakes again screaming Maybe someone could explain it a lil better to me, please? Recently Dom is sleeping so badly that I hate and dread evenings and nights

I think at night time after they play you just give them a bottle and put them down to sleep for good. That is what I have been doing and it's been working. I have to give some credit to putting cereal in the last two bottles I feed my baby during the day. It holds him for longer because before he used to wake up around 4 am starving!!! But after his 4 months check up the doctor said I could start on cereal and it saved us. He doesnt actually eat the cereal because he had gag reflux and the doctor said that he was not ready for cereal yet but I do put it on his bottle . He sleeps 9 hours and them I feed him a regular bottle and he sleeps again for 2 to 3 hours longer. Maybe you could try with your boys. Can they have cereal yet? I love the picture of them on your avatar. Too cute!

 

[creatingpeace]

THis thread is making me start to think about having another baby!

 

[clio]

I wanted to do the EASY method for a while but either I didn't understand it correctly or it doesn't work for my boys cause they want to sleep after they have eaten. I tried playing with them after a feed and even to put them on their playmat. They started crying and throwing up lol. Also how would that work with bed time? Our boys get a bottle and then its to bed. I cannot imagine putting them down successfully after they have been playing for an hour. And then at night when they want to eat, am I supposed to play with them for an hour at 4am? I haven't read the book cause I am just too exhausted in the evening to do much more than come on here, eat, stare sightlessly at the tv and then drop into bed for 45 mins till Dominic wakes again screaming Maybe someone could explain it a lil better to me, please? Recently Dom is sleeping so badly that I hate and dread evenings and nights

EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time) was easy to accomplish when he was still young enough and willing enough to go into my moby. He'd easily sleep though the 2 hour nap time the BW suggested. But after a while, I got sick of the moby and sitting with him for 6 hours a day (2 hours each time), so I gave up. We also abandoned the Sleep then Eat sequence. He falls asleep to a bottle. It simply works, and I have no desire to mess with a sure thing. So, don't give up the feed if it's working for you.

Great to know that baby whisperer worked for you guys. How long did it take your LO to finally sleep better during nap time? My baby sleeps great at night goes to bed at 9:30pm or 10pm and wakes up around 6 or 6: 30 am them we feed him and he sleeps for couple of hours more. But his naps are like 30 to 45 min long and he gets a little crabby when he does not sleep well. I would love for him to take at least 1 hour which he does if I am sleeping in my bed with him. Them he sleeps for 1:30, 2 hours. Little stinker . I love sleeping with him.

He's still really patchy with naps. We are totally at his mercy. He also never gives us any cue until he melts down. Sometimes we'll get a "fat nap" out of him, like my husband says, which are 2-3 hour naps. But more recently, we're getting the 45 minute ones, which suck. So the BW didn't help us with that at all. I really have no clue how one controls naps, frankly. But it sounds like your nights are sorted, which I think is the harder part for most.

 

[kizzyt]

I have to say I also found the newborn stage really tough. I was permanently shattered and always on the brink of tears! My DD wasntba good sleeper, night or day, people always commented on how alert/awake she was and I was just desperate for her to sleep. Looking back now I think we should probably have. Started putting her to bed a little earlier (we kept her downstairs with us til we went to bed until she was about 5.5 months old) but really she didn't consistently sleep thru until she was eating solids and didn't nap well until she started sleeping better at night. Now she goes down about 7.15 and sleeps thru altho she has started waking up in the "5's" which is toooooooooo early! Haha. It's a really tough stage that newborn part, I found it hard but it does get easier and it really doesn't last forever I promise (even if it feels like it's going to!!) xx

 

[Rowan75]

my dd has cat naps during the day - 20-30 mins around 9am then 11 then 2pm then 4pm then milk and bed at 7.30pm - she wakes anywhere from 6am but is restless from about 4am

im amazed at babies who sleep for hours during the day - we have to force her to nap by talking her out for a walk or in the car - altho having said that - as i ahvent had time for a shower in days (dh in shower now or id be in lol) i popped her in her cot in her grobag yest with toys at the right-ish time and she slept - 20 mins but it was only the 2nd time ever in her cot during day - shes asleep in there now may be a new thing!

 

[kizzyt]

I'm the same, people always said newborns slept 20 hours a day, not mine!! I've got friends who would be like "oh mines been asleep 4 hours should I wake them for a feed?" and I'd want to weep as mine would have been awake 7 hours with a 20 min nap in between!!

 

[Clara cluck]

Hi! Can I join you? I'm 35 (36 in December) and had my little girl in April this year

 

[Borboleta]

Hi! Can I join you? I'm 35 (36 in December) and had my little girl in April this year

Hi Clara. Welcome to the group. I just join in the other day and love it! Hope you do too. And congrats on your L.

 

[clio]

Welcome Clara! And congratulations! I also just joined the thread, and find it so refreshing to find women who have gone through similar experiences as me. That's a bit hard to find in Baby Club, I've found.

Wow, could I have used the word "find" any more often in that paragraph?

Anyway, a question for everyone: have you been to baby groups? I went to one, and had no one my age to relate to. What's your experience been?

Indigo, did you find one? And are you in the UK? It seems as if they have more there...