Hey everyone, thanks for all the love. I cannot wait to move and get actual internet so I'm not stuck on my blackberry all the time. (Although it's perfect for when I'm on the go, plus fiancé doesn't know I'm on here and I'm rather embarrassed to let him know) But anyway, just popping in to keep everyone updated.
I haven't talked to him about it TTC, but considering that we're currently living with his parents until we move in June, (we were with roommates but that ended badly with me almost being assaulted by some racist arrian skin-heads) I can understand why trying and maybe getting pregnant right now wouldn't make the situation any better. :/
I do have hope though, thanks to my loving and supportive Grandmother. She practically raised me so I think of her more as a mom and a friend. She had her kids when she was 19, and my mother had me when she was 19, and my fiancé's mother had him when she was just turning 18 so young mothers run in both of our families. It just feels natural to have one now, especially since I've raised my little brother and he'll be 2 in May (5 days after me! I'm the 24th).
But anyway, she says she thinks I'll be pregnant by the end of the year. And she's totally supportive of me wanting to do this. I don't know about my mother, but her opinion on this honestly doesn't matter to me. She's 39 and recently found out she's pregnant again, which felt like a slap in the face to me since I was planning on trying to conceive this year and she gets pregnant because "the condom broke". Mind you she's not married and me and my four siblings all have different fathers, the youngest and the one on the way are from the same dumbass father that denies the baby and left. (She really knows how to pick 'em)
So I'm feeling a lot better about the whole thing. I'll have to wait probably until the end of May to start trying, but this gives me enough time to make sure my cycle is normal, if not I found a supplement I would love to try. It's called FertilAid, I'm sure you've ladies heard of it, and I was going to get a few months of that to help set everything straight. This also allows me to loose some weight, kick smoking, and settle down in Arizona. I don't look at it as a long hard wait, more like I'm preparing myself for what's ahead. And with my Grandmother's blessing I know it'll happen. It will be hard sometimes, my mom's due to find out the gender of her baby and that'll probably bring a cloud over my head, but with talking to all you lovely ladies and being able to rant my heart out (I know you guys don't mind).
So, looks like I'm preparing to TTC. Hopefully this give my fiancé enough time to get use to the idea of trying for a baby. And there's no guarantee that it'll happen fast, but if I'm pregnant before the end of 2012, I will be one super happy camper!
Plus this gives me a chance to prepare myself even more, both mentally and especially physically. I weighed in at 282.5 today! ): So I would love to drop those 82lbs, luckily it'll be easier once I move. We have a built in pool, a park, and a nice long walking route in our new neighborhood. It's a great place to raise kids, and I'm so excited. I'm going to start working out on the bowflex we have with my OH, right now it's nothing more than a coat hanger in the garage. Haha.
I'm loving you guys all already! Sorry I don't reply to others post much, hard to squeeze it in with OH always looking over my shoulder. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed by coming here, I guess I'm afraid it'll make him more unsure about all this. Though he really should be greatful that I'm so focused on being as prepared for this as I can be, especially at this age. I want a planned pregnacey, one where I can be all, "Your father and I sat down and decided we wanted to add you to our family. I had wanted and looked forward to having you even before you were growing inside me."
Anyway, sorry for the long rant/announcement. If anyone of you lovely ladies would like to email me (as I get those faster than I check BnB) please feel free to message me for my email. I'll put it up later once I figure out how.
our bodies are rubbish aren't they 
I thought honey you have no idea the sort of things women discuss on here and the pictures I have seen 
my boob muscle is better now though so I have no excuses lol
I am hoping hubs will not be long before he is home as I need to go get some bread and pomegranate juice 
