Any "plus-size", bigger gals TTC their first? :)

[CdnEquestrian]

Heeeellllllo ladies!

I'm 5'5" or 5'6" and 240lbs....I am 26 years old (will be 27 on april 4th) and am a horseback rider. I ride dressage and jump. I'm also a stay-at-home wife...and hopefully, soon to be mother.

I also have a condition called ankylosing spondylitis which is an inflammatory arthrtis and is kind of like an autoimmune disease. It causes all my joints to be very painful, and causes my spine to fuse together. I suffer from severe chronic pain on a daily basis.

DH is 38 and has 2 beautiful daughters. They are 16 and 17 years old. So this will be HIS third...but MY first child.

So far, the doctor has put me on metformin (1000mgs) and I am taking soy this cycle. I have an ultrasound tomorrow to check out what's going on and hopefully get some answers, and I get to talk to the FS about clomid. Since i'm already doing soy this cycle, i'll probably save the clomid for next cycle if I don't get my BFP.

Anyways....just wanted to introduce myself and join the group of lovely larger TTC'ers.

 

[Jo_Bean]

Hello ladies! And welcome to those of you who have joined since I last posted

Jo - it really is a lovely feeling. Normally I hate Sundays because I know I've got to get up for work and it reminds me of going to school when we always had to have a bath and got to bed early

So I've managed to remember to temp for the last three days! Woo! I've got the routine down now. I stick the thermometer in my mouth, then go and poas and just sit there waiting for temp and opk results whilst still half asleep! I take my phone with me and record the results on the fertility friend app before jumping in the shower! Lol!
I'm cycle day 8 today and still waiting for ov. every other day so far.
I didn't appear to ov last 2 cycles so am really hoping I will this time!

So what's new with anyone else?

 

[bbbunny]

Morning ladies hope you are all well

My weight loss seems to have come to a full stop this week but I haven't been putting in as much effort so its to be expected.

I haven't been doing a diet as such just eating healthily and walking a lot and it seems to be working (20lb in 4 months).

Because I am not doing anything too drastic I am hoping that I can just continue it if I was lucky enough to get a BFP.

My Mom lost weight when she was pregnant with me and ended up weighing less after she gave birth than before she got pregnant but she put on 4 stone when pregnant with my younger brother so I am a bit worried about adding to my weight problem if I did get pregnant.

In other news we had a roof tile missing that caused a leak through to our spare room (what will hopefully be a nursery one day) so we have had to redecorate in there. I have been a bit reluctant about doing it as we always thought that when we did decorate in there it will be to make it a nursery so its been a bit strange. I have tried to make it so that it could be easily turned into a childs room and if the worst happens then it could be made into a spare bedroom. I just hope that I am not jinxing anything.

It's been strange TTC again after trying last year then having to scrap the plans and it feels different this time. Last time I had pregnancy tests everywhere and lists and plans of when the best time to DTD is and this time I have barely done anything. I think I might be scared to get too excited as I am worried we will fail again but I am going to shake of the negativity and just get stuck in

 

[CdnEquestrian]

Jo_Bean - Are you only doing the OPK's in the AM? Worried you might miss your surge if so, as LH is synthesized later in the day, and it's best to test between 2:00pm and 8:00pm.

bbbunny - I'm kind of going through the same thing...remodeling what will eventually be our nursery and I feel the same....so worried to jinx something... lol Congrats on the weight loss. I worry about gaining a ton of weight while pregnant too.

 

[Jo_Bean]

Ooh really? Am using the CBFM shall I buy some other ov sticks too then?

 

[josephine75]

Hello Lovelies, how are we all today ??

Well the dreaded is here and she means business, I feel sick, my back hurts and I have cramps from hell !!! But I'm feeling positive to start again on another merry go round of temping, pos, making notes, sticking my legs in the air, taking vits, applying lube(preseed) and lots of - bloody hell, I just read back through that and Who would of thought making a baby would be so hard ??

JoB how are you ? I use CBFM but I also have some cheapy Internet opk that I use also as I usually test twice a day sometimes even 3 to make sure I deffo have 2 lines
Have any of your goodies arrived how u getting on with your book I caved and ordered one too I hope it's good, have u used your preseed yet, how are you finding it ????
Have you ever considered using Soy to bring on Ov ???
fingers crossed for you this month xxxx

Bbunny - I'm sure you'll be straight back on track with your diet, you have already done so well, sometimes unfortunately life just gets in the way
You are so right about feeling Jinxed when doing things in house I have held off for so long from decorating our small bedroom as I always wanted it to be the nursery but it's been almost 5 year and it's desperate for a lick of paint so I'm afraid I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go for it, it might have the reverse effect and give me a ha ha ha, I can hope xxxxx

Hello CdnEquestrian - welcome to our thread good luck with you FS appointment, let me know how you get on with your Soy, I've been thinking of trying this myself

Lawyer Chick - my clomid cycle wasn't monitored I was given a
Prescription by the FS and sent on my way, I've never been seen by him since and that was 2009, the NHS in the uk won't give any further treatment as I am classed as overweight (

Lots of love and luck to all our lovely ladies I can't wait to see our first BFP xxxxx

 

[jessandaj]

Im also plus size im about 204 and a size 15/16 and currently dieting and trying to get in shape since i cant get over thinking its me being overweight thats keeping this from happening for us. It sucks i have always been bigger just like some people have always been small and it seems so hard to just change that aspect of my life but i want to and always have and im getting it done ive lost about 10 pounds no baby yet but it gives me something to feel happy about hope that everyone get there bfp soon and looses tons of weight if your trying to slim up right now like iam.

 

[Maureen1222]

Hello Lovelies, how are we all today ??

Well the dreaded is here and she means business, I feel sick, my back hurts and I have cramps from hell !!! But I'm feeling positive to start again on another merry go round of temping, pos, making notes, sticking my legs in the air, taking vits, applying lube(preseed) and lots of - bloody hell, I just read back through that and Who would of thought making a baby would be so hard ??

JoB how are you ? I use CBFM but I also have some cheapy Internet opk that I use also as I usually test twice a day sometimes even 3 to make sure I deffo have 2 lines
Have any of your goodies arrived how u getting on with your book I caved and ordered one too I hope it's good, have u used your preseed yet, how are you finding it ????
Have you ever considered using Soy to bring on Ov ???
fingers crossed for you this month xxxx

Bbunny - I'm sure you'll be straight back on track with your diet, you have already done so well, sometimes unfortunately life just gets in the way
You are so right about feeling Jinxed when doing things in house I have held off for so long from decorating our small bedroom as I always wanted it to be the nursery but it's been almost 5 year and it's desperate for a lick of paint so I'm afraid I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go for it, it might have the reverse effect and give me a ha ha ha, I can hope xxxxx

Hello CdnEquestrian - welcome to our thread good luck with you FS appointment, let me know how you get on with your Soy, I've been thinking of trying this myself

Lawyer Chick - my clomid cycle wasn't monitored I was given a
Prescription by the FS and sent on my way, I've never been seen by him since and that was 2009, the NHS in the uk won't give any further treatment as I am classed as overweight (

Lots of love and luck to all our lovely ladies I can't wait to see our first BFP xxxxx

Sorry to hear the witch came to visit! You really seem to keep up the positive thoughts and keep hope alive. It is very encouraging. I have just begun to start my journey and I see that you have been at it for a long time. I really hope it happens for you very soon!
What is the NHS? Insurance? Being "classed" as overweight sounds awful strange. I am from the US and pay for private insurance.

 

[horseypants]

hi ladies. i am 33 years old, been trying for almost a year and i'm a size 18. i think i need to lose a hundred pounds to feel myself. i'm on cd 2 or a 35 day cycle. i am expecting to ovulate on March 18ish and will be testing on the last day of March, the 31st. hopefully my cycle will cooperate and be consistent with last time. i'm going gung ho this time, despite losses in the past. i'm determined not to waste any time . thanks for being here!

 

[josephine75]

Hello Lovelies, how are we all today ??

Well the dreaded is here and she means business, I feel sick, my back hurts and I have cramps from hell !!! But I'm feeling positive to start again on another merry go round of temping, pos, making notes, sticking my legs in the air, taking vits, applying lube(preseed) and lots of - bloody hell, I just read back through that and Who would of thought making a baby would be so hard ??

Lawyer Chick - my clomid cycle wasn't monitored I was given a
Prescription by the FS and sent on my way, I've never been seen by him since and that was 2009, the NHS in the uk won't give any further treatment as I am classed as overweight (

Lots of love and luck to all our lovely ladies I can't wait to see our first BFP xxxxx

Sorry to hear the witch came to visit! You really seem to keep up the positive thoughts and keep hope alive. It is very encouraging. I have just begun to start my journey and I see that you have been at it for a long time. I really hope it happens for you very soon!
What is the NHS? Insurance? Being "classed" as overweight sounds awful strange. I am from the US and pay for private insurance.

Hey Maureen, thanks for your support, I've been trying for that long I suppose you get used to AF showing up every month, I reckon the when the BFP comes I probably won't believe it's real ha ha.
As for the NHS - its what we call our National Health Service and it's free healthcare for all !!! You get 3 attempts at IVF but you have to fit into the government guidelines as be a "Healthy" 12 stone (168lbs) I'm currently 183lbs
So I dont qualify, we do have private healthcare options but these work out quite exspensive, was looking at one last week and it was gunna cost minimum £7500 GBP ( sorry I don't know what that is equivalent to) but me and OH just do not have that kind of cash and it would take a couple of years to save so I'm busy trying to lose weight to at least try and get on the year long waiting list for
NHS - IVF

 

[Jo_Bean]

Horseypants - welcome love the pic lol! That's the spirit!

Jessandaj - welcome to you too! 10lbs is great! Well done. Every bit helps and you are right, it does make you feel better and if we feel better then we are more likely to DTD!

Jo - hiya hun. The book is good, sorry I meant to say more the other day. It gives you tips on what to do and analyse your Qi etc. I couldn't live by the book but it's a fresh perspective.
Goodies have arrived! Honey, elephants, preseed, new scatter cushions for the bed and some candles lol!
Right, am going to order some opk's I think I will ov in the next couple of days.
Soy? Do I drink it? Eat it? Or take in tab form? Also have ordered some ginseng and royal jelly as APPARENTLY it has Viagra like properties for DH!

CdnEquestrian - thanks for the ov tips, how do you take your soy?

So I've managed to temp, monitor CM and cervix position for 5 days woo! Looking good so far, been comparing to other graphs nd it seems fairly standard so that's a bonus!

Haven't with the preseed yet as hubby seems a bit cautious. I think he feels like it's a bit medical and scientific and it puts him off a bit. Think I'm going to have to sneak it in over the next couple of days and just seduce him.

He's going through that stage of feeling sorry for us, I'm trying all these new things and he just thinks we shouldn't have to try them and gets a bit bitter about it all. I really need him to get into the other side of it, just a little bit, but I think he's scared that it will turn him off.

Really not in he mood to be all sexy and start , but I think I'm going to have to I just wish I could click my fingers and get the job done 3 times a day for the next week, like when we were 18! Lol!

 

[bbbunny]

Hey ladies hope you are all having a great day

@Josephine I am hoping that you have a point there and doing the room will bring on a BFP

I am having one of those days where I cannot even bare to watch anything with babies or pregnant women in. Yet another person I know is pregnant and I am struggling to even be happy for them which I know sounds awful but I am just tired of thinking that I wish it was me.

On a brighter note as my hubby is not working away as much now (the thing that stopped us from TTC last year) it looks like he will finally be home around the time that I ovulate. As I have only one tube its hard to know if I O or not as I don't know what side is releasing the egg then (I have both ovaries still) so I am just keeping my fingers crossed.

I have no idea why but I have been saying for a while now that March is our month which is silly as we have tried so many times with no luck but it gives me something to be positive about if nothing happens this month.

Is anyone else not telling anyone they are TTC? We decided not to say anything as we didn't want people talking about it all the time especially my mom as she is obsessed with the idea of grandkids and keeps saying that we need to get a move on. I have been tempted so many times to tell her that we are trying its just not worked yet but I have kept my mouth shut (a big thing for me lol).

 

[Jo_Bean]

Bbbunny - we didn't tell anyone for 2 years. Then we got married and then everyone was going on about babies. We've been together for 15 years so everyone was expecting that to be the next step. We used all the lines like "we're going to enjoy being married for a while" and "well we're not trying but if it happens it happens" then as we are coming up to our 3 years wedding anniversary this year and will have been trying for 5 years in July, we now just say yes we are trying and most people know we've been for tests etc.
I am so used to people talking about us now too that I just don't care any more. Both sets of parents are very good and don't mention it unless we do. At my sisters wedding I walked in on my cousin saying she didn't tell me she was pregnant with her 2nd (both since we've been trying) because she didn't want to upset me. I put on a brave face and said don't be stupid then went and cried in the toilets for half an hour

 

[bbbunny]

Bbbunny - we didn't tell anyone for 2 years. Then we got married and then everyone was going on about babies. We've been together for 15 years so everyone was expecting that to be the next step. We used all the lines like "we're going to enjoy being married for a while" and "well we're not trying but if it happens it happens" then as we are coming up to our 3 years wedding anniversary this year and will have been trying for 5 years in July, we now just say yes we are trying and most people know we've been for tests etc.
I am so used to people talking about us now too that I just don't care any more. Both sets of parents are very good and don't mention it unless we do. At my sisters wedding I walked in on my cousin saying she didn't tell me she was pregnant with her 2nd (both since we've been trying) because she didn't want to upset me. I put on a brave face and said don't be stupid then went and cried in the toilets for half an hour

That last bit made me want to cry too you poor thing We have been married almost 8 years and we are now getting pressure off pretty much everyone. My hubbys brother got married and they got pregnant on the 3rd day of their honeymoon so you can imagine what that was like being told how easy it was for them. All through their pregnancy I would find myself sneaking off during family meals to have a bit of a cry then plastered on a smile and went back to my seat.

I have made a promise to myself that if I am ever lucky enough to get a BFP even though I will want to shout it from the roof tops that I will reign it in because you never know if the person that you are talking about your pregnancy too will be having a little cry in the toilets as soon as you are gone.

 

[Jo_Bean]

Bbbunny - exactly!
I would be so super sensitive to those types of feelings around me.

It does make me mad sometimes the amount of wonderful women on here that deserve babies so much and would make fantastic mum's and the world is full of cruel insensitive people just making the journey harder for them.

I really hope this happens for all of us xx

 

[mandapanda27]

Hello Ladies!

I'm so sorry I've been MIA! I've had a very long few weeks.

Sooo happy to see how many Ladies we have here and how much support is pouring out. It's very encouraging.

I found out that we may have to put off TTC AGAIN! I saw the surgeon who did my back surgery last October to discuss the fact that I still have very bad pain in my back and leg. He said either the nerve damage in my left leg and back is worse than he thought or the disk blew again. He already said when I first met him that after looking at my MRI it's one of the worst cases he has seen. If that is the case, how much worse does he think it can get? (knock on wood!!) This mean I could be having another surgery soon and starting the clock over for loosing weight and getting my . I've already gained almost 30 pounds since the last surgery! Although am trying VERY hard to loose the pounds.

I always try to stay positive on my out look but the last few days have been really hard, crying at the drop of a hat. Granted I'm an emotional person on normal circumstances but this is a bad blow for me. As if being Big and Beautiful and having PCOS didn't make TTC hard enough, this back issue challenge is making it worse. And it's been going on for almost 3 years. I think I've paid my dues on this! LOL
DH and I have even started talking surrogacy as a possible future for us because I honestly do not know if me carrying a child is going to be a possibility. I fell like I'm failing and my body is defective.

I guess I needed to vent! I am so sorry to unload on you Ladies! I have to have another MRI this Thursday, the first since the surgery. I'm trying to stay very positive for this to hopefully get a final resolution!

 

[Jo_Bean]

Mandapanda - we don't mind you venting. It's the best place xx
Good luck for Thursday and I really hope it goes ok.
One step at a time, even though it's easy to say, worrying about the future only makes the mountain bigger to climb.
I really feel for you but I'm sure that something good will come of everything.

Love and xxxxx

 

[PandaMao]

Hi ladies, I've been following the thread the last few days, but not really replying. I've been in a negative mood so I didn't think it was best. On a more positive note, I'm getting ready to ovulate! It's a little earlier than last cycle which I was hoping for. I started taking Fertilaid and FertileCM this cycle so I was hoping that would shorten my cycle a bit and increase my CM. It sure did! This is probably tmi, but today I stood up a few times in class and I kept feeling gushing going on down there and when I checked it was watery and a little bit stretchy. I don't know if I've ever had that much CM so the FertileCM is doing it's job! I'm really excited for this cycle. Hubby has been sick so we haven't been BDing much recently, but he is feeling better and just in time! Now we just need to get to work and hopefully catch that egg.

MandaPanda- Hello fellow panda lover I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Hopefully if you do need surgery again your healing time will be minimal and you can get back to TTC quickly. When you finally get your BFP it will be worth it all in the end. Good luck with everything. Also, don't feel bad about venting here. That's what we're here for! We're all in this together and I think we all need that mutual support.

 

[josephine75]

Oh JoB and Bbunny you both made me weepy when I read your posts and i know exactly what u both mean, some people can be so insensitive to others peoples feelings and sometimes they think they are hiding things for the best when really no matter what thy say or do it's not gunna make us feel better we're still gunna be jealous or resent the fact they are pregnant again or they got pregnant first go etc, etc, it's just another cross we have to bear

Myself and my OH haven't told hardly anyone about TTC and I don't know how to. We have been together 12 years this August and have only just gotten engaged last Sept, we are both quite private, shy people an hate fuss or attention so if we ever get married we will have to elope ha ha
But all of this gives us double the pressure when you getting married, about time you two started having babies .... Errrr not that easy !!!
We have told a handful of friends but neither of us has told our parents or family, I think I'm embarrassed that we can't conceive and that there's no reason why except its just us !!! No one else in either family has had any trouble even OH' sister fell within 2 weeks and she only has one tube.
I really want to tell my mum but I know I'll get upset and I dont want to upset her she's in her 80's and would love to see me with a child, but they've come to think over the years we har chosen not to have kids and I just let people think it, maybe this is some sort of Karma for not admitting the truth to people

Anyways I have gone on a lot there haven't I, how is everyone doing where are we at with temping and testing any BFP's yet ???

Welcome back PandaManda sorry to hear you have to have yet more surgery hope all goes ok, and don't worry about ranting its what we're all here for

Hello to everyone else I've missed we have so many lovelies to mention

Love and hugs to all
Xxxxxx

 

[CdnEquestrian]

Hello Ladies!

I'm so sorry I've been MIA! I've had a very long few weeks.

Sooo happy to see how many Ladies we have here and how much support is pouring out. It's very encouraging.

I found out that we may have to put off TTC AGAIN! I saw the surgeon who did my back surgery last October to discuss the fact that I still have very bad pain in my back and leg. He said either the nerve damage in my left leg and back is worse than he thought or the disk blew again. He already said when I first met him that after looking at my MRI it's one of the worst cases he has seen. If that is the case, how much worse does he think it can get? (knock on wood!!) This mean I could be having another surgery soon and starting the clock over for loosing weight and getting my . I've already gained almost 30 pounds since the last surgery! Although am trying VERY hard to loose the pounds.

I always try to stay positive on my out look but the last few days have been really hard, crying at the drop of a hat. Granted I'm an emotional person on normal circumstances but this is a bad blow for me. As if being Big and Beautiful and having PCOS didn't make TTC hard enough, this back issue challenge is making it worse. And it's been going on for almost 3 years. I think I've paid my dues on this! LOL
DH and I have even started talking surrogacy as a possible future for us because I honestly do not know if me carrying a child is going to be a possibility. I fell like I'm failing and my body is defective.

I guess I needed to vent! I am so sorry to unload on you Ladies! I have to have another MRI this Thursday, the first since the surgery. I'm trying to stay very positive for this to hopefully get a final resolution!

I feel like a could have written your post myself. I'm overweight, have PCOS, and have back problems and chronic pain. It started in my back, but was then diagnosed as being a sort of autoimmune disease/inflammatory arthritis called Ankylosing Spondylitis. It causes "bamboo spine" which is where your spine fuses together and becomes very brittle. If I slip and fall on the ice...I can break my spine.

It also causes insane, unrelenting daily pain to the point that I have to take time-release morphine and some other meds to help cope. It's not easy. Every single day is a struggle.

I often wonder if I can carry a pregnancy...and then to add to that, if I will be able to care for my own child. Everytime I ask DH if he can get me something because I don't want to get up off the couch because i'm in too much pain, I wonder if TTC is the right thing to do.

I have SOOOOOOO many fears.

I just know that I want to be a mom...and that I will FIND a way to do so. It may not be easy, it may not be in the way that everyone else would be a parent (I will need more of DH's help and support and we may have to hire a housekeeper or help) but I will do it.

Thinking of having a LO makes each day worth living, and makes each struggle worth facing and overcoming. We CAN do this.