Any solo mum's out there?

I'm a nurse :). I can actually work 6 days in a row (Friday - Wednesday) and then have 8 days off and come back the foowing Friday. So I can leave and go away for a week and not use any vacation time. So it's great.

I need to take a mini-vacation during every 2ww. Lol.
 
That's the best bit about only working 3 days.
 
Well, it's getting a bit close and a bit scary and really real now. I've just emailed the clinic I think I will probably use in Denmark asking for more information. I wasn't really sure what to ask about, so asked about how it works with them being in Denmark and me being in the UK for scans etc, whether the prices on their website cover everything (3 cycles of IVF for 36500DKR (£4031) or if there are additional costs - I assume meds will be extra), about the medications and how I go about obtaining them, and if they can guarantee an English speaker there at all times - I guess they can, the Europeans are so much better at speaking English than we are at speaking other European languages.
 
And yours isn't that far away! Yay. Exciting! Though I guess that's not helpful? I see everything those who are currently TTC are going through, and I honestly don't know how I will keep my sanity going through that. It's bad enough watching them go through it.

Well, I got an email back from the clinic today. They want to phone me rather than answer all my questions in the email. I'll probably arrange it for the week after next - I've got quite a bit going on in the next week or so. But they did say they all speak English, which is such a relief. I was beginning to wonder how much Danish I could learn in the next couple of months? (Not much I guess, though I do quite like languages, so might try and learn a bit for when I go over there). I can't imagine how scary it must be having such an invasive procedure and not getting a word of what they're saying. Although, I can sort of imagine how frustrating it would be. I've looked after a few patients who didn't speak English. Google translate was my saviour. It was quite embarrassing trying to mime to an elderly Arabian man (and I wasn't sure whether I was meant to talk about such things with him in his culture?) to ask him whether he had passed urine since coming to hospital.

Mo - how are you getting on? Nearly time to test. FX'd for you.

Melody - I see you're about mid-cycle(ish). How's this cycle going? Did you take the Soy? Any signs of ovulation yet? (Sorry, feel free to tell me to quit asking so many questions - I won't be offended!).

Hope everyone else is well.
 
Oh, and I found out today my other cousin is pregnant (that's at least 5 people I know having babies at the moment). I don't really know how I feel about it. My other cousin is happily married and has a couple of kids already. This one is in an abusive on/off relationship and isn't financially stable to support herself let alone a child. When she splits up with him, she moves back in with her parents, who support her financially, despite the fact that they're nearing retirement themselves and have paid off a ton of debts for her already. She had to sell the house she had with her ex as they split up and she fell behind with the mortgage (which her parents kept up for her until it was sold). She miscarried about 6 months ago - I don't know if that baby was planned or not - but I think this one is probably a 'replacement' for the miscarried baby. I know I sound a bit judgemental, and I don't mean to be, but I'm just quite annoyed with the fact that we're all here, waiting until the time is right to do this, and I know she really wants to be a mum, but there she is, not in the best place emotionally, financially or in any other way.

Anyway, my mum saw her today, I didn't, and she wants my support 'as a midwife' (I'm really near qualifying now). I don't know if she wants me to be her kind of birth partner or her midwife or just to let her know what to expect? Whatever she wants, I will be happy to help and support her, and I won't rant at her about anything, but I knew you ladies would understand my frustrations, and I felt as though I needed to rant at someone who understood.
 
5 weeks!!! I'm so excited :dance: and nervous. :wacko: Seeing how long it takes some folks and my mom's issues scares me.
 
Hello girlies :wave:

Catie- You're so funny. Of course you're not asking too many questions lol. I did take the soy but it didnt make me o early. I'm not sad about that though as I needed some time to get my head back in the game. I stopped taking the Vitex ages ago, so I'm thinking my cycle's back to 40 days which means I should o around the 9th of March (cd27). I'm using the clearblue digi tests so hopefully it will give me my 4 most fertile days and I can get at least 3 donations in.

You can definitely have a rant here. We all understand. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair when women/couples are completely ready for a baby but suffer such difficulty ttc, and then there's others who just have to sneeze and they're pregnant lol. But our time will come and when you start ttc, we'll be here to support you :hugs:

Mo - Can't believe its time to test already! Let us know how it goes. Fx for you, and if its not your time this month, at least you can start things moving with a new bank! :dust:

Child2hold - It's really not long for you is it?! I've been stalking your journal and I can see you had some bad luck with your first donor. I had a few problems with previous donors before I found my current one. I hope things go well with your new d. My mum also has really bad fibroids. I hope everything gets off to a smooth start for you hun. xx
 
Thanks Melody. I was kind of thinking about what I wrote and was hoping I didn't come across as a bitch. I've got tomorrow off, and my aunty normally visits my nan on a Friday or Saturday, and if my cousin is there, she'll go too, so I might pop up in the morning when they'll be there. I'm actually quite excited now if she doesn't go back to him, and if she wants me as a birthing partner, then that'll actually be quite nice, I guess.

Anyway, 3 donations sounds good. Your donor seems really accommodating.
 
No, you didn't come across like that at all. It can be very upsetting when others fall pregnant so easily, especially if their lives are really unstable and volatile. But I can tell you really want to be there for her. I was a birthing partner for a friend who's boyfriend left her when he found out she was pregnant. It was the most amazing experience ever!

Lol yeah my donor is really awesome. He's even set to meet me at work if I get a pos opk during the week :haha: That's going to be a weird experience, inseminating on my lunch break lol.

I'm really excited for you to start ttc, is that weird? lol :hugs:
 
It's not weird. Or if it is, I'm weird too cos I get all excited when you are all in the TWW. I get really impatient to know whether it is going to be a good month for you. Anyway, it's nice that you're excited for me - thank you! She wasn't at my mum's today, so I guess they'll be visiting tomorrow.

I'm exciting to start, too. My ticker has just gone down to less than 4 months!

I've been doing quite a bit of research the last few days. I had heard that the Czech Republic and Spain were good for IVF, but the Czech Republic won't treat single women, and the one clinic I looked at in Spain, well I wasn't too impressed with it. They were on about what to do with any embryos which aren't transferred. You had to choose either to have them frozen, donated to another woman, donated for research or destroyed, and they had to contact you every two years to confirm whether to continue storing them if necessary, and if they couldn't contact you, they would make the decision what to do with the embryos. They also said that, if you chose to have them destroyed, they might not be able to do that until the end of your reproductive years. So basically, it sounded like they would either use them in research or for another woman. I don't like the idea of those (especially going to another woman. I think I would be OK donating eggs, but donating an embryo would, I think, be different. It would have the potential to be a biological full brother or sister to a baby I might have had with that batch of embryos, and that is just a weird idea). So I excluded that clinic straight off. I still prefer the sound of the one in Denmark.

I bet that will be weird, inseminating on your lunch break. I guess, if he is going to meet you at work if need be, you don't live close enough to pop home? It would be ideal if you did, though. At least it would be a more normal experience to do it the insemination at home.
 
And Mo - if you haven't yet done the test, good luck!
 
I'm back guys! Just had a big long read to catch up on! Have been here there and everywhere - but it sounds like things are looking bright for you all! X fingers!

Caite - I'm so glad it's not long till you can start ttc with us! As Melody said - you're fine to have a rant here! It's SO hard when you see and know so many people TTC desperately, and then someone else get's pregnant - JUST like that. Especially when they're people who already have kids, or as you say - they aren't really stable. The world is cruel unfortunately :( And it is hard :( My friend who got pregnant just like *that* is nearing the birth of her little girl - and it's so hard to be excited with her, I really want to be - and I try - she's one of my best friends. But it is hard :(. Usually it's when I leave her place, or sign off facebook chat with her - that I just have a moment to myself. Funnily enough Melody - I was her birthing partner 2 years ago nearly - because the same thing happened! Her partner left her pregnant, and noone was there for her except me. It was so amazing - being at a birth is something so special! I would love to become a birth photographer!
Back you you Caite - I don't blame you for not being impressed with the Spain clinic! That's shocking! The idea that BIOLOGICALLY you have another kid out there, because they implanted your embryo into someone else - while good for that someone else, is just a weird idea. It's good that you have time to check your options, compare places etc first though before getting thrown in the deep end.

Mo - Hope things are going ok for you :) any symptoms or anything exciting yet? I'm so jealous of all your adventures during your 2ww! They seem so fun! Probably the BEST way for you to spent your 2ww's - keep you busy and occupied! Sorry to hear about your uncle though :(.

Melody - That's great you've got such an awesome donor now! It will be a weird experience inseminating on your lunch break - but at least you'll get the opportunity :) Sometimes I had to inseminate before work in the morning. Found the best way to do it - was just to wear a liner - not sure what you call them over there - they might have a unique name somewhere other than NZ :p. Just makes things a bit more comfy - eg leakage :/. I always packed spare undies though - JUST in case hahahahahaha. Never needed them, but I didn't wanna be stuck feeling yucky all day if I was working till 5.30pm! The only thing that was tricky was the whole 30 minutes lying down after wards!

Child2hold - I just started reading your journal - sounds so much like me - well what I've read so far anyway! Only difference being I'm only 21 - not 29. And none of the medical stuff - just the whole buying things early, relationships not appealing all that kinda stuff. I love your little "keep calm and get pregnant in2014" picture! Praying that you have no problems at all - and can start growing a little peanut soon :)
 
Hi KN - glad you're back. How's everything going for you? Thank you for all the lovely words. As I said, I don't think I would have a problem with egg sharing, but I think donating (by choice or otherwise) an embryo, is different. I still get amazed at every birth I'm at. It's wonderful. I've been on labour ward for 5 or 6 months now, and I still find every birth special and exciting, and I don't even know the woman.
 
Catie - Woohoo less than 4 months! :happydance: Time's going so quickly. Aww it's nice that you get excited for us too. Cant wait till you're ttc as well. That Spain clinic sounds rather dodgy. I would assume they most probably want the embryos for research purposes *shudders*.

I live about a 20 minute bus ride away from work so I don't think I'd be able to get there and back in time. I could possibly take the morning off if I gave a day or two's notice.

KN - You're back, yaaay :hugs:Yeah being a birthing partner is amazing isnt it? Nothing like being right there with mummy as she gives birth, well except for giving birth yourself lol.

That's great advice about the liners and extra underwear. Lol we call them liners too :D The lying down bit is going to be tricky. I may have to do it in a bathroom stall. I'm keeping a blanket and some pillows at work. I figured I'd lie on the floor with my legs up on the toilet :haha: I should only have to inseminate at work once hopefully.

x
 
I've been good! Inseminated Tuesday - was going to do it again today; because I find I either ovulate early or late so to cover my basis. Unfortunately my donor couldn't actually make ovulation day. But anyway, this morning, I went toilet and when wiping noticed a decent about of spotting on the toilet paper. So I'm not sure what it means! I should have ovulated Friday or yesterday - so no way is my period due. That would give me a 2 week cycle!! So if monthly is on it's way - I'll be sad :( another cycle out. But at least I don't have to wait the 2ww I guess. The other idea for what it could be, is I ovulated early like I thought I might - and on Tuesday insemination an egg was fertilised and the bleeding is implantation bleeding. But I don't want to get my hopes up. I hear implantation bleeding is more pinkish and only a little bit. This was just like the start of a period. Sorry if tmi! Hahaa!
Sigh. I'll keep you all updated though on how the day goes!
 
That is peculiar. I highly doubt it's af though. Like you said, that would give you a 2 week cycle. :wacko: It sounds like ib. See I've read that it should be more of a brown colour! Who knows! lol. Aww I hope this is a good sign hun.

I'm using the clearblue duel hormone tests this cycle. Got my first 'high fertility' smiley today. I called my donor and I'll definitely be inseminating next Tuesday, but if i get a peak fertility smiley tomorrow then he'll come over. He just cant do monday. The last time I used these tests I got 4 days of high fertility, so im hoping it will be the same this cycle. Im hoping to get at least 3 donations this month. How many times do you usually inseminate?
 
It is peculiar! I have got some cramps going on - but they only started when I wiped the spotting, so could be more mental cramps then actual cramps hahaa. I'm gunna take some panadol - put some girly things in my bag (just in case) and head out for the day and try not to think about it. I guess ib could be anything really - depending on the person, I really hope it is - but I'm so used to not having my hopes fulfilled with this TTC stuff - so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. If it ends up being AF, Then I have NO idea what my cycles are up to lol - 40 days down to 14, days! And I'm no longer taking the vitex either! I've just been maintaining my multi vitamins that I've had the whole time - and making sure I eat plenty of meat, veges and fruit etc.

Also - Goodluck for your inseminations during the week! Fingers crossed! I hope you get a nice 4 day fertile stage. Sperm can live up to 7 days inside apparently if they get to the right place, so I usually inseminate at the start of my fertile peak, the day of predicted Ovulation - or the day before. And again the day after. SOMETIMES when my donor is already in town, we'll add another in there somewhere though :) I know my random as fertile stages - so i just like to cover my basis if i O early or late.
 
KN - I hope it is implantation bleeding. That would be so exciting.

Melody - good luck for Tuesday and today if you've got a peak today. That doesn't sound too comfy lying in the loo. But needs must I guess.
 

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