Any solo mum's out there?

[Caite]

Fairytales - I too hope that I find something in midwifery. I got my 40th delivery this week and it was such a nice delivery. I've just got to get a few more women in different areas (a couple of antenatal women and some postnatal). And them I'm done. Can't you come south of the border to do a conversion? Or are you quite a long way from England?

Melody - I'm sorry your cycles are still playing you up. Have you looked at clinics? The one that Rags mentioned a page or so back (Ninewells) was really quite cheap. Why don't you look in to something like that? She said it only cost a few hundred quid, even with medication. And some of the ones abroad are fairly cheap, too (but then there's travel costs etc on top).

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Aww thanks I haven't actually looked into clinics. I spent years just researching known sperm donors! Ninewells is definitely affordable. Although I think you have to be referred to a fertility specialist and then be on clomid for for about 6 months before they consider iui on the nhs, but I'm not 100% sure. Rags would be the best person to confirm that.

How are you doing anyway? x

 

[Rags]

Aww thanks I haven't actually looked into clinics. I spent years just researching known sperm donors! Ninewells is definitely affordable. Although I think you have to be referred to a fertility specialist and then be on clomid for for about 6 months before they consider iui on the nhs, but I'm not 100% sure. Rags would be the best person to confirm that.

How are you doing anyway? x

Hi, I didn't use clomd or a fertilty specialist. I went to my gp and told him that I wanted a child but was single and needed to use a sperm donor. I explained that I had spoken to a sister at Ninewells acu and that all they needed was a referal from him. This took about 2 minutes, he said ok he'd send a referal. This was on the easter Monday (April). I had my first appointment with a Dr at Ninewells at the start of August, a hpg test at the start of September (because I explained that I'd tried unsuccessfully with fresh sperm a few times so they wanted to check my tubes were clear). Because I was using a donor I had to meet with their councillor, a requirement at all uk clinics for anyone useing sperm or egg donors, this happened in the November and then I was officially put on thw waiting list. I was told it would be approximately a year. I had my first iui 1 year and 2 months later, it would have been the year later but it clashed with the christmas break. 3 unmedicated iuis later I got my bfp at a total cost of £750.00 at that clinic. I had previously paid a sperm introductio service £3500.00 for a very stressfull and unsuccessful serious of tries.

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Thanks for that Rags. I didn't have a proper idea of the nhs process but it seems pretty straight forward. I cant believe how much you spent with that introduction agency, and all that stress But it all worked out in the end and you have your beautiful little boy to show for it.

I was speaking to my mum today and we both touched on the same idea. I've been thinking recently about finding a second donor. My cycles are so messed up it's making it extremely hard to time things. My current donor tries his best to accommodate me but he has a child of his own and finds it hard to donate on weekends or for more than a couple of times in a month. With a second donor I'd be able to inseminate more times throughout a cycle.

What do you ladies think? I know it isn't usual practice but what is with this whole process lol. The only thing i worry about is not knowing which donor helped me conceive.

x

 

[K.N]

Hi everybody
I'm back now! Glad to be back home and in my own space again! Have just been catching up on all your "Adventures" in the ttc area - sounds like you've all been busy and had lots going on! Would have replied whilst overseas, but our hotel internet didn't work - so I couldn't get online

Melody: Sorry to hear about you low projesterone levels That's annoying hearing that your DR said it was a year away until you would get taken seriously! IF you get a referal to fertility clinic - will you be eligible for any funding that you know of? Since it'll be a dr referral? There are so many options for fertility over your ways - it's all confusing to me hahaa! We just have fertility associates, and that's it. Any signs of AF? In terms of a second donor, I don't feel there is any usual practice with us single ladies ttc - we gotta do what we gotta do, every cycle and situation is different - and there is no other half to help us out - I think it could definitely be something for you to look into - it would be hard not knowing what donor was succcessful - are you planning on maintaining contact with the donor? Sometimes an anon works fine - and it would be a similar thing with having two and not knowing who it was

Caite: Sorry to also hear about your ttc possibly being delayed You've been so excited counting down! But i hear what you say about not wanting to start until you have job stability. Doesn't make it any easier Really hoping you find something soon, and you don't need to postpone ttc too long!!

Fairytales - That's cute how your mum bought you the little savings jar. Glad that she was fine with your decision, and that you can have her support

I've been really thinking about talking to my mum, Just because right now - I feel so alone. It's just my donor, this forum and me right now - I've told a few people about it, and they're there when I need them - but they have their own lives too - so I don't like to pester them - Especially coz it's the same story every month. Whereas I think if I told my mum - we could talk and stuff, coz she's had kids etc - and knows people who've gone through fertility clinics etc. I'm not sure, I'll see what my GP says first . HOPING they don't react quite the same as your guys did! Cross fingers!! If they do - I'll just keep changing dr, till I find one who listens
The good news is - I ovulated perfectly whilst over seas, on the exact date my predictor told me - well the day before. But close enough. BUT the bad news is, I was away so couldn't use my perfect ovulation! Just waiting for AF to confirm the length of the cycle - 6 days to go. THEN will make an appt for my GP

 

[Caite]

Hi.

Melody, I think it is something you need to think about. How important to you is knowing who the biological father of the baby is? And will using different men affect the sperm's ability to fertilise the egg? Or would you be using them quite separately from one another? Or might you be using them around the same time? Anyway, I'm good thanks. I got my 40th (and final as a student) delivery - I can't remember if I told you all that - and am just trying to finish up in other areas, and then I'm done! Yay! I'm desperately menu planning for Mother's Day. I'm cooking a huge family dinner for all the extended family on Sunday, so it's going to be busy but fun. I'm really looking forward to it.

Rags, I can't believe they charged you £3500! That is so expensive, especially when treatment cost less than 1/10 of that.

KN - I'm sorry you didn't get to use the egg this month. But hopefully it means your cycles are going to behave and that'll mean getting pregnant will be so much easier. I've really nearly told my mum a few times, too, as no-one expect people on here know that I hope to be TTC soon.

 

[melodyy_mtb]

WB KN!
Yeah it's been a stressful journey so far but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Usually you have to be trying for a year before your Doctor refers you. I have only really tried 3 times but just over a long period due to my irregular cycles. Luckily my Doctor thinks it has been 7 months and agreed to refer me after two more cycles trying (and two more progesterone tests). So it really isnt that long I guess.

No sign of AF yet though, ff thinks im 16dpo which is weird but im definitively not pregnant. I took two tests which were both bfns. I'm not getting sucked into thinking i am again like last time lol. I just hope she comes soon. The whole fertility clinic process confuses me too lol. I think once i get my referral, ill be seen, then maybe more tests, but I definitely know they'll be able to prescribe me clomid or femara and maybe progesterone shots, my pro levels were 1.2! They're supposed to be 5-10.

That's great news that you o'd perfectly this month! Even if you didnt get to try at least you know you're o'ing and your cycles are hopefully settling down. Good luck with your Dr. What's the whole fertility process like over there? Aww and I know what you mean about feeling alone. I didnt plan to tell my mum but im so glad i did. Parents can surprise us

Caite - Congrats on your last delivery as a student! I hope you get a job quickly! What will/did you cook for mothers day

Ladies about the second donor, I used to think I wanted a completely anonymous one but after researching things for so many years, speaking to a lot of potential guys and finally finding my current one, im actually happy that im using a known donor. Obviously using two is going to make it difficult to know who got me pregnant lol. I'd be perfectly happy with either. The second one im thinking of using is actually a donor i've been in contact with since last year. He's just as amazing as my current one.

I dont want to stop using my current donor but he has a child and finds it difficult to visit me more than twice in a month. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking the second guy to donate loads throughout one cycle either. Seeing as my cycles are completely insane, it would be so much easier to use donor no1 around the time i think im o'ing and then the second a week later for good measure I wonder, would a week apart be enough time to tell who it was? Caite I've not thought about the sperms ability to fertilise the egg. I better look that up!

Sorry for the long post lol

 

[Caite]

Melody - I hope you either get a BFP (preferably) or your AF soon. I made soup, lasagne and chocolate cake for Mother's Day. It was really nice. There were loads of people there, and yet I still managed to cook far too much! At least they can't say they weren't well-fed. It was a lovely day, really nice being able to spend it with all my family. And next year, there will be even more people there, with my both cousins having babies and, if I'm lucky, I might have one/be about to have one, too! And you never know, my sister now has a fairly serious boyfriend.

Just think, this might have been our last Mother's Day as non-mums! How exciting is that!

 

[fairytales87]

Melody - I hope you get a bfp

I hope everyone is well

I'm still reading when there's updates but Im not posting much as I'm not sure where I'm standing with getting started now I had to cancel my appointment and since then had to use the funds I have saved so far for something else which has cropped up & to top it all my family has just had 2 new babies and there's 1 due next month and my best friend announced at the weekend she's expecting, I feel terrible as I should be excited along with everyone but I just feel so jealous of them

 

[Caite]

Fairytales It sucks when everyone around you is pregnant/having babies, doesn't it? And I'm sorry you've had to cancel your appointment.

 

[K.N]

Aw fairytails So sorry to hear that you've had to cancel your appointment That's the last thing you want! Also hearing others are pregnant or having babies, when all you so desperately want one yourself - is one of the hardest things ever

Caite: It's so weird that it's mothers day around the world! Mothers day isn't in NZ until May! So it's a couple months away for us yet! But yum, Lasange is my favourite hahaa. Exciting - the potentially next mothers day, we may be mothers - or may be expectant!

Melody: Oh good luck with you Dr's referal then. It would be wonderful if you get pregnant before a referal is needed, but it's good to know if need be you can get the assistance; and the help to help you conceive. The fertility process over here - is LONG for single woman. Not too bad for couples though. I haven't reaaally looked into it - is just the basics that i can find out, of course every situation is different. Standardly, You start out by in home insemination, and if that is unsuccessful after 12 months - You can see a GP and get a government funded referal to the clinics - But you have to pay for up to 12 privately funded IUI cycles - $2500 each with self selected donor sperm - otherwise you pay an additional $700ish per month for the sperm too. Then if none of those are successful you can be "considered" for two government funded rounds of IVF. But I say considered because there are many other factors they take into consideration too, and so even if you aren't successful at your 12 IUI rounds, you may not be eligible for IVF. It's a lot more complicated than over there To get any clomid or puregon, or anything like that over here you NEED to be registered with the clinic and going through IVF or IUI to get it included in costs. Otherwise, if you get it prescribed through a standard GP service our healthcare system charges you the base fee's of about $300 per month So it can turn, very expensive - very fast. . If I had a spare $12,000 - I would just skip IUI, and home insemination and go through IVF and pray for a success

Hope that all made sense hahahahaha

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Thanks Caite It's just a waiting game now lol. Aww that sounds like a lovely mother's day. I second KN, lasagne is yummy, and mmm chocolate cake! I spent Mother's day at my mum's house. We just ate food and watched tv lol. I never even thought about Mother's day next year. To think we could be mummys/expecting ourselves, makes me well up lol.

fairytales hun sound like you're going through a difficult time right now I hope things ease up for you At least you had the funds to be able to sort out the thing that cropped up. Try to think of it like that. I know how disappointing it cna be when your ttc plans get pushed back, but I'll be thinking of you. I hope you can start your journey soon.

KN that's what I'm hoping too. I'm going to try my hardest not to stress out for the next few months. I really believe stress is at the root of some of my fertility issues. That certainly does sound expensive! :O I agree thoug,h if i had the money id have skipped straight to iui/ivf. I'm excited for this cycle. It sounds like everything has settled down for you!

Afm: I'm cd50 today! No sign of af, ff took my crosshairs away, and I've confirmed im not pregnant with two bfns Needless to say im feeling a little low. But im trying to keep smiling. Im easily stressed lol. I'm going to buy some lovely bath salts and stuff and spends the weekend pampering myself. Then when af shows its all systems go!

 

[K.N]

Aw Melody - Bath salts and pampering sounds so lovely! I hope AF comes soon so you can move on; Not that I WANT you to be getting a period, I'd love a BFP for you! But I at least hope that soon you can move onto your next cycle!

Hoping things are settled, my perfect ovulation also meant for me that AF came on time for once, not early, not late - the exact day of. So it's good to know my body is capable of producing good eggs when it's supposed too. We'll see if next month is as good. Crossing finger!
I also made the decision to tell my mum a bit about my journey. I didn't tell her I've been TTC for the past 12 months, but just that I worry about my fertility and the costs - and that the one thing I want most in the morning; is to be a mother. And she was like oh ok sort of - then I explained but without having another half it's going to be such a struggle to get any help if I do have funny cycles; and said that I was sick of waiting for the right guy - and that I made the decision that if in 10 years the right guy comes along, he will take me on - child or no child. She was really supportive actually. I knew she would support the choice, but I just didn't want the millions of questions I thought she would have. But she didn't - she just listened. So it was good! Apparently my Aunty, her half sister went through the same thing and had a good friend be her partner so she could go through IVF as a single mother. And she said she also knows a couple of people who have gone through AI both successfully and unsuccessfully. So I guess that she knows a couple of people who have already been through it - made it easier for her to understand.

Last night I packed up a few baby girl outfits and bodysuits I bought for my friend, She lives 6 hours away - So I'll be posting them. She's getting ready for her girls arrival And while I'm so happy, I can't help but be sad and a tad jealous too.
But we'll get our turn soon ladies! I know we'll all make good moms! EVEN if we are by single. Hopefully all these obstacles, and struggles we've all faced start disappearing and we can either conceive soon - or start trying to conceive!!

 

[fairytales87]

I'm totally suffering from baby/pregnancy envy it's awful consuming my thoughts 24/7 not been this bad before and yet I can't even sort it such a moany post sorry!!

KN- glad you managed to speak to your mum and she was ok with your choice I know I felt a huge relief once I spoke to mine.

 

[K.N]

aw fairytails I really feel for you! Don't feel bad about it - they're perfectly normal thoughts, and your more than welcome to share those thoughts here! We all go through those emotions at some point, and they will come right - Hopefully when you are able to start ttc they die down a bit for you. Though even trying to conceive - they're still there; I guess they don't ever really go away until we do have our own lo's But hang in there, I'm really hopeful that when you start ttc, you don't have a big wait Waiting to start ttc is hard enough - so hopefully you can have a little one growing in your belly soon .

 

[VillageVoice]

Hey ladies can I join? I'm also going at this alone. Ingot pregnant my first cycle trying in January/February but unfortunately had a missed miscarriage and had to have surgery to remove the pregnancy. It's really hard going through all of this alone. A partner would really help here. But next month I am trying again and praying it happens just as fast as it did last time. But with a better result.

 

[K.N]

Hey ladies can I join? I'm also going at this alone. Ingot pregnant my first cycle trying in January/February but unfortunately had a missed miscarriage and had to have surgery to remove the pregnancy. It's really hard going through all of this alone. A partner would really help here. But next month I am trying again and praying it happens just as fast as it did last time. But with a better result.

Hi! Of course you can join hun! Sorry to hear about your mmc Can't imagine how that was for you Was your first cycle of trying solo as well? Well there is plenty of support here for you anyway - Glad you found us all . Wishing you luck and a speedy conception .

 

[VillageVoice]

Hey ladies can I join? I'm also going at this alone. Ingot pregnant my first cycle trying in January/February but unfortunately had a missed miscarriage and had to have surgery to remove the pregnancy. It's really hard going through all of this alone. A partner would really help here. But next month I am trying again and praying it happens just as fast as it did last time. But with a better result.

Hi! Of course you can join hun! Sorry to hear about your mmc Can't imagine how that was for you Was your first cycle of trying solo as well? Well there is plenty of support here for you anyway - Glad you found us all . Wishing you luck and a speedy conception .

Thank you. It was my first cycle trying ever. I'm glad I found some support too. I haven't told many people in my private life I'm TTC. Most would think its crazy as I'm only 24 (25 in 10 days!). Well the people I've told think its crazy too, but are more or less supportive. But I can't explain the nitty gritty to them - the temping and OPKs and supplements, etc.

 

[Lovelymo79]

Hi all!

I know it's been awhile since I posted. I'm doing ok. 5th IUI didn't work. I'm on vacation now with my family and on birth control pills to delay ovulation until I get back home. I'm considering moving on to IVF. I will do at least one more IUI, though.

Hope all is well!

 

[Rags]

Lovelymo, sorry to hear that this wasn't your cycle, fingers crossed that number 6 is the one for you. It sounds really positive that you have a plan beyond that though, I think that it's a good way of stopping stress levels building up which makes everything more likely to happen sooner.

VillageVoice, these are a lovely bunch of women to support you through this. I'm sorry about your mmc in January, it must have been very hard to go through especially when people aren't aware that you were trying. You seem to be staying positive which is wonderful, I look forward to following your progress and congratulating you when the time comes.