Any solo mum's out there?

[SteelMagnolia]

Going back to catch up on all the posts, but I just want to say hello! I'm so grateful to have found a place for us going it alone.

I'm 34, will be 35 in June. This is my first time ever trying for a baby, and I'm going with donor sperm. I just got my second negative blood test after IUI #2. First go around, I had a polyp that had to be removed. This time I'm worrying I wasn't healed after said polyp removal, which was a week before the IUI.

 

[K.N]

Any AF yet Melody?? I'm glad you saw a dr Even if they can't fix the problem sometimes it's good to have that reassurance that nothing out of the ordinary is going wrong.

kelwin - that sounds lovely about a handmade cot, and having home made booties and that sort of stuff - home made stuff is the best - I can sew, but hammer+nails and my hands, dont mix too well haha!

Fairytails - Aw hugs - Positive thinking I'm realy hopeful that your tests will be fine and you'll be able to get started - I bet this wait has been such a long one for you People say that the 9 month wait is the hardest, those people obviously haven't had troubles ttc - I'd be stoked if i got told i had a baby in me for 9 months - but the 2week waits, the dr result waits, the wait for another cycle to begin. It's all so much waiting

Steelmagnolia - Welcome! It's so good having all you ladies joining this forum, really is turning into a big community now!! I just had to google what a polyp was - second time ive heard it mentioned today. A shame you've had two negatives so far Especially going to iui way - hopefully come next cycle/ovulation you're all healed up and your body is ready for a baby to begin growth

Hoping everyone else is going well in the vacations, job hunting, ttcing etc etc - Hoping everything is going good

Update on me: officially in the tww. As of yesterday. I was worried it was going to be another annovulatory cycle as my ovulation tests were negative and also ewcm was nowhere to be found, but last night ewcm kicked in - so hopefully it's good Will be SI'ing tomorrow morning as well - then that's it for this cycle Tomorrow is O day (well, meant to be) so x fingers.

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Hey everyone :wave: Welcome Steel Magnolia. So glad you're here. It's lovely seeing how many of us there are. x

I'm not sure if I've got news or not hahaha I started bleeding heavier on Saturday. Enough to have to change pads etc but not as heavy as my usual af. Still very light. It was the same for yesterday, and so far today is lighter still. So I'm not sure. Maybe this is now af but just a very light flow. If that's the case, everything should stop tomorrow/Wednesday. Ah we shall see... I've accepted that I wont be trying this month, so I'm not feeling stressed about it.

Kelwin - Aww that's ok. Like I said, I'm a worrier lol. But we're like a lil family here and when you're in pain, emotional or physical, the rest of us are sad. Anyway, I hope that you're on your way to recovery from this flair up. Such a beautiful idea to make a crib from scratch. Good luck

KN - Lol you remembered! Yeah I was drinking parsley tea which was absolutely disgusting! But if things carry on like this, I might just go buy some more :/ I am loving this blog thing by the way. Thank you again! I spent the whole weekend messing around with it. Here's the link https://meandmycrazywomb.wordpress.com/ I haven't put much on there yet though. FX for you this cycle! Aww I hope the tww goes quickly and doesn't drive you crazy. I pray there's a BFP at the end.

Fairytales - I hope you're ok hun Really feel it for you. I know what it's like to fear there's something wrong and get so stressed with doctors and delays with ttc. Try to stay strong and relax as much as you can. We all know how stress can effect our sensitive lil wombs lol.

 

[KelWin]

K.N. Yes the handmade cot is what I'm really looking forward to, but the footsies and blankets and such are so cute, too.

melodyy_mtb My back in slowly getting back (haha) to normal, but now my knee has decided to get in on the action but in other news, got my new ride today. Snazzy silver and black chair with awesome paint job

 

[fairytales87]

Hi Girls

Hope yous are all enjoying the holiday weekend so far!!

Anybody got any updates?xx

 

[K.N]

Aw melody! I love your blog . And you say you couldn't write well, it's a good read! I too bookmarked yours . I'm glad af came, if it was af - as you can start your next cycle now, but I do wish it didn't come due to a bfp . Did it last as long as a normal period?

Kelwin your snazzy new ride, sounds snazzy

Fairytails no news for me yet - another week and 3 days till I'll have any news though, there are many funny things if this cycle is successful! The first being that there was an eclipse on my ovulation date - so I would have conceived on it! I'm not superstitious, but I did google and read that a lunar eclipse is meant to bring fertility. So cross fingers! Other thing too - if this month is successful - due date will be 5th January - the day before my birthday. So I was thinking, hopefully she/he will come a week early, but then that's New Years. So I was like maybe 2 weeks early! But that's christmas. So I went hmm. Early December then - but that's my donors birthday. So basically if this month is successful, there's a lot of occasions the baby may have to share it's birthday with!! Coz I certainly don't want to go overdue! I don't mind the kid sharing it's birthday - but I know it will suck when he/she is older and wants it's own birthday party! Was just a funny laugh, I only realised what the due date will be yesterday.

Hope everyone else is going good! Well as good as can be given all the little obstacles that are around at the moment xx

 

[K.N]

Ps melody - I took your idea of adding the blog URL link to my signature hahaa .

 

[fairytales87]

Hey:wave:

KN-Everything crossed for you that you get good news in 3wks time and that it's not too long a wait for you

I confided in somebody very close lastnight about my mama plan so officially 3 people know I now have all the support I need at the moment my mum my bff my cousin and of course you fab ladies here,I won't tell anyone else now however after speaking to my cousin I had a thought about changing my plans from completely clinic based to perhaps using a donor but this morning I realised how silly I was being!

 

[Caite]

Hi

It's been 2 whole weeks since I have been on here! I didn't realise that it was so long but I've just been so busy.

I'm doing my last couple of shifts as a student midwife, whilst still desperately hunting for a job. I've applied to other hospitals for midwife jobs but there are no interesting nursing jobs being advertised at present (at least not a couple of days ago). I did a couple of nursing shifts the last couple of weeks, too. They were the first I'd done in a long time, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I've booked a couple more for a couple of weeks time, too. All the staff were saying how scary midwifery was, with having such a responsibility and everything, but I had to disagree - I would have been less scared looking after a lady in a high risk labour room than I was walking on to the ward that morning.

I also volunteer a couple of evenings a week and have been away for a weekend with the kids I volunteer with. It was outdoors for the weekend, and my goodness was I cold. I was actually wearing a scarf and gloves. Then on the second day, whilst it was a really cold wind, I actually got slightly sunburnt. It would have been so much nicer to go this weekend - we had a lot of sun and clear blue skies yesterday (quite cloudy today, but mild and dry) - but at least it was dry.

I've been really busy in the garden, too. I've got quite a veg patch growing (I'm growing them at mum's this year due to hopefully moving). I've got pots of little seedlings everywhere at the moment - in the greenhouse, scattered around the garden, on all the hutches, everywhere - and there are tonnes more going in. I'm going to plant them in the garden this afternoon, and all the digging is going to be such a good workout.

I'm trying to really get in to being healthy. The first time I was at uni, everyone gained so much weight - everyone's uniform was so much tighter by the time we left. This time, whilst I was aware of that, I (and the rest of the girls) have gained some weight throughout our training. I did get in to being really healthy when I was a student nurse. I would take in really healthy food, and then I just got out of the habit, and never really got back in to it. Now, I'm making a conscious effort to drink more water, cut right down on the chocolate (not great timing, though, being Easter) and to be more healthy in general. It is what I am going to focus on (in addition to obviously getting a permanent job) before I can start TTC.

Enough about me.

Hi SteelMagnolia - welcome to our little group.

Kelwin - I hope you start to feel better soon.

Melody - at least that cycle is behind you now, and you can focus on this cycle. Have you made any decisions about the donor/s and what you are going to do about them?

KN - I hope the results of the tests are good. But, I hope you don't need the results and have that BFP instead.

Fairytales - is it the tests at the clinic before you can start fertility treatment you're waiting for?

Mo - hope you're OK. You've not posted in longer than me.

 

[fairytales87]

Caite- you sure have been a busy bee lately, keeping my fingers crossed for you on the job front, It must be strange working between the two jobs midwife/nurse? To answer your question I'm hoping to do iui at a local clinic once I have saved up enough baby fund again as I had to use all my money I had saved for something which cropped up, Im assuming I will need to complete alot of test prior to treatment due to anovulatory cycles although my GP does not agree that my cycles are anovulatory after completing what she said were mid cycles bloods once which I know were not mid cycle and I have had other issues which weren't dealt with appropriately by her so Im unsure where I stand in regards to my fertility and I'm just going to have to wait and see what the clinic find if anything (I'm praying nothing but I'm pretty sure it won't be so easy given my history )when the time comes to discuss/start treatment.

Hope you all have had a fab day I had a lovely day with family enjoying the nice weather and a beautiful lunch

 

[Caite]

Fairytales - I remember your post now about having to spend the money. I hope you save up again quite quickly. Could you get as much as possible done under the NHS, test-wise, and then have the IUI private? Looking in to clinics abroad, they want things like bloods for HIV and a recent smear test, which could be done under the NHS (even for treatment abroad), then it would only be the actual fertility investigations and the IUI to pay for.

It is a little weird working the 2 jobs at the moment. As a student midwife, I can't even give someone paracetamol, even with a prescription, but as a nurse, I was doing drugs rounds (that was weird, haven't done a drug round in ages).

I was thinking, if I manage to get a permanent job soon, I might start TTC in September. It would give me long enough to settle in before going through fertility treatment and a first trimester (hopefully), and it still feels OK as it doesn't seem that long away - we're almost in May now, so that's only four months!

 

[fairytales87]

Morning

I have just changed jobs so will be a few months of sorting bills etc before I can put any away into baby fund.
I'm hoping it will just be test for treatment as I've completed HIV & hepatitis bloods for work and I will have a smear by the time treatment would be going ahead, I just fear I will have health issues that will make my journey difficult once I start which have came from unexplained and incomplete treatment by my Gp so Im just going to wait and see which way the clinic want to do things and will go with what they say will give me the better chance and pray they don't find anything that can't be fixed.

That's crazy how in one job you can do med rounds yet in another you can even give out a painkiller
September isn't far away at all and will be here before we know it I hope everything works out and you can begin your ttc

 

[K.N]

Caite - Good to hear from you! You definitely sound like you've been busy alright!! That would be strange flitting from job to job and having your responsibilities hightened for nursing, yet for midwifery they lessen. At least it's something in the meantime though. Have to laugh at how everyone put on weight whilst studying - was exactly the same for my teaching degree! I've since done the same - gotten a gym membership and buying things like nutbars, dried fruit etc rather than munching on biscuits and sweets! I really really hope you can start ttc in Sept - I know it's later than planned, and still seems a long time away; but as you say it's only 4 months - and it's another date to count down too!

Fairytails - I've got everything crossed al the tests come back good Glad you were able to confide in someone else. I find it always feels good telling people - when it was JUST my decision and noone knew - i thought it was a crazy idea. felt like i was the only person in the planet to do it this way! Then i confided in a close friend, then discovered this forum - then my mum and a couple of other close friends also got told. No other family are aware though, just my mum.


One week down in my 2ww!! 1 week to go. Easter holidays over now - so hoping i get my blood test results soon!

Funny you say morning fairytails, its night here! 11pm! I think I'm gunna head to bed soon - just watching a movie on TV2 - but should be over soon. So if it's day over there - hope you all have a lovely day

 

[fairytales87]

KN I felt crazy and the only person to be going this route until I told the ppl I have and discovered this forum too, hopefully you get good news about your tests soon. It's midday here I find it fascinating how it's night for you guys.

I'm waiting for my mum and sister to finish their half day shifts at work then we are going to the lake district for some tea cakes and shopping but until they get home and call for me to go meet them I'm planning browsing online at baby essentials maybe one day I will start to purchase stuff but I think ppl would call me crazy for that lol

 

[Caite]

It does seem silly that in one role, I can give medication, yet in another I can't, especially as we're all qualified nurses on the course and employed by the Trust. But, on the postnatal ward as a student midwife, I can check mum and baby and say they're fit for discharge, and risk assess them for anti-VTE meds (blood clot preventing injections), which I don't do as a nurse. It seems silly, really - it's all in the same hospital.

It is good that we have this forum - especially this thread. I don't really feel able to comment on some threads when people are saying their OH isn't ready, or something like that. Until I found this thread, I thought I was the only one planning to go through this alone. It's so nice that we can talk about our choices here and not feel as though people are going to judge the decisions we make (though I've never felt judged on this forum). I just think we understand each other better than women who have a partner and are going the more traditional route.


KN - I was trying to work out what nutbars were, I thought they were some kind of fancy exercise equipment. Then you put dried fruit and I was like what? And then realised what you meant. Oops. Anyway, you're half way through the 2WW, I hope the other half goes nice and quickly for you, and you get a BFP at the end. I so desperately want you all to get BFPs - I'm so impatient for you all. And September's not so bad, it's only 4 months away. And flights might cost less in the autumn/winter than spring summer? (I'm trying to be positive!).

Fairytales - I know exactly what you mean about all the investigations. I'm a little scared for if I have to have them (which I guess I will - my cycles are so irregular/infrequent). I do hope they come back OK for you, and they don't show any major problems.

 

[K.N]

hahaa no - nut bars arent some exersize equipment - just peanut muesli bar things.

My blood results came back today - not in the post like they're meant too; but I rang around and managed to get someone to tell me where they're at. They're all normal - so nothing wrong there. But now I'm going, "what next?" - so I'm happy that they're normal, but also slightly guttered because 12 months of no BFP when i have a perfectly functioning reproductive system is hard to hear. If someone was wrong, I'd have an explanation and something to help - whereas now, there's no explanation and I just have to go away and keep trying and hoping still going to make a follow up appointment with my GP - but I don't really know what to say, I was hoping she'd ring me with there "where to next"

 

[fairytales87]

KN- I'm glad all your test results came back normal but completely understand your feelings of so why after 12months haven't you conceived, I would get a follow up to discuss the results with your doc and explain that you are glad everything is ok but after trying for a while you're concerned that you still haven't fallen pregnant because even if you can't get answers from them they can see the results in context for you and maybe offer some reassurance

 

[Caite]

Have they mentioned other tests? Blood results can only go so far in reassuring you or looking for a problem.

I've updated my ticker - now I can count down to my new date.

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Hey ladies, and Gent

I haven't posted in a little while. As you know, I've been a bit down/stressed with the state of my cycles lately. I went to visit a friend over Easter, just to relax and take my mind off things.

A quick recap - Last cycle was 60 days. I spotted for the last 10 days of it, then thought af had started even though it was very light. I became worried after this "af" had gone on for a further 10 days! Luckily this coincided with a Drs app today, that I had scheduled ages ago. I was ready for another "nothing we can do, you dont really have pcos" fob off but....

I got my referral!!!!!!! Yep, the doctor finally agreed to refer me to a fertility specialist! I'm absolutely over the moon! Obviously there'll be more testing, but I'm getting a jump start on this now so that i'll have all the results before my assessment. So now I just have to wait for my appointment letter I've worked out that i'll get one more natural try in before I see the specialist. Fx I get my bfp, but if not, I'll finally get the help I need!

Kelwin - I hope you're making a speedy recovery hun. Love the way you're approaching all this.

Fairytales- Im glad you were able to confide in another person about your baby plans, and I hope you're feeling positive about ttc in the near future.

KN - Aww thanks. Lol that's good you've got it there too. I love reading yours. Lol I thought of you yesterday as this store near my house just started a nautical clothing range for babies. Everything is so cute! I hope you're doing ok in your tww, and that ss isn't stressing you out too much. I follow the moon's cycles like a mad woman lol. I love that you tried during the eclipse, and all the relevant dates around the time you would give birth are definitely good signs. Fx for you hun!

I know exactly how you feel about your bloodwork. I was the same. Happy that there isnt a problem, but confused and perturbed as to why you haven't conceived yet. I really hope you get your bfp this time, but if you don't, just be persistent. You'll get the answers and help you deserve.

Caite - Wow you really have been busy! I hope everything goes well for you with the job and the healthy eating. I've been trying to do all that do. I've gone back to brown rice and upping my leafy greens, nuts, water etc. It should be much easier as the weather gets better and better. Can't wait till your trying with us! About my donors, I've decided to use one when I think im about to o, then the other a week later. They're both amazing guys, and are eager to help.

x x x x

 

[Caite]

Melody, I'm so pleased you've got a referral. I hope they manage to find out what has been going on.