Any solo mum's out there?

[K.N]

Aw Melody did you miss your ovulation after that awfully long cycle? Sorry to hear That's so frustrating!!! Have you got plans in motion for your next ovulation? - Provided that your cycle behaves and gives you a good egg!! Fingers & toes are crossed!

6 sheets of tests? WOW that is a lot!! Thankfully they put a lot of mine together - like 4/5 vials of blood per lot, so i only need to go in 3 times; but 6 times? Man, poor you! So far I've given 8/9 vials - hopefully only 3/4 to go!! That will be on day 2 of my period - when they do the next lot. THEN hopefully, all the initial bloods are done.
Have you registered with your clinic? I've registered with mine - so I guess that's why I'm so easily able to ring them up and ask queries etc - they have on call nurses as well, for any medical queries. But the receptionist seemed pretty clued up too. Except when I initially rang and she asked for my "oh's" birth date and i accidentally told them he was 2 years older than he is!! Blamed it on a blank moment and bad day haha. We went by today to drop all the forms off, and she copied it all and passports and stuff - and we now officially have our own "fertility file" - so its a medical file, but separate to my GP one - and only for the clinic.
It all seems so real now!! Starting to get really nervous, Keep thinking what if they find out my donor and i aren't partners! What if we end up in huge trouble or something! I know they won't find out, and even if they did - theyd just pull the chance for any funding. But still, I'm a worrier - even on a good day hahaa. I just hate it - i never wanted so many people to be involved in my trying to conceive! Never expected any of this - But i guess, what will be - will be, least im in the right place Just nerves kicking in is all haha.

Fair enough that you've had enough of your gp!! I've been lucky enough that because of how long we've been ttc - i only needed to speak to my gp twice about it all; But definitely enquire about whether your clinic has a help line etc What's the name of your clinic melody? Can i google it? I'm curious about what other clinics around the world are like and what they offer etc!

But on other notes, I agree with melody about maybe your donor got cold feet kylasbaby it sucks just so much, its hard enough for us single ladies to trust a guy to be a donor - let alone to have him not turn up on the first month *hugs*

 

[KylasBaby]

Yeah it sucked. But it was all thrown together last minute and I wasn't really ready for it and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have caught the egg anyway so I'm not really worried about it. I'm more worried about finding a new donor. Today is my post op appointment from my D&C on March. Hoping to get the test results back. Pretty nervous. The test results will also tell me the gender. I think it was a boy. Gonna be kinda sad today.

 

[K.N]

Aw, I'm just heading off to bed - it's midnight here, but after reading your message on my way offline, i couldnt not reply hahaa!

about your post op meeting - hugs for the appointment, it will be a sad time, of course - but hopefully you get some answers, that you're 'happy' with, to help prevent it happening again if it could be a reoccurring thing - Let us know how it goes, & all the best xx I hope it's not too too upsetting for you.

ALSO - that's good that you're not too worried about how it all ended out this month, and all the best for finding a new donor - and catching your next egg! Fingers crossed! (and toes)

 

[KylasBaby]

I had my post op appointment on Thursday. The doctor all but asked me what the hell I was doing there. I told him he told me to make a post op appointment and he said "oh..." Really? So he didn't examine me. And I asked about my test results and he had absolutely NO IDEA what I was talking about! I told him I had bills from hystology and pathology. He had no idea what I was talking about. So needless to say I don't have my tests results

But other than that still searching for a donor. I have a few leads so FX!

 

[K.N]

That's really unprofessional about your dr kylasbaby! You'd THINK he'd have some clue, seeing as it was him who told you to make the appt, and you'd thiink he'd have access to find the results, even if he wasn't prepared. That's so annoying You had worked yourself all up and got the courage to go and find out - one of the hardest things ever, then to have that You poor girl. Fx with your donor hunt though!!

I'm feeling a bit down today, my best friend had her baby early hours this morning I'm so happy for her, her daughter is gorgeous - but naturally im just down in the dumps a bit. Is her 4th child, whom she conceived 4 months after i started ttc - At least she lives 4 hours away so cant tell - wouldn't want my emotions to make her feel bad for having a baby, not at all - but just cant help that whole natural jealousy thing hahaa. On the upside, least I have my gyno appt tomorrow

Hope everyone else is doing good

 

[fairytales87]

KN- Good luck for your appointment today, I'm so glad everything is moving forward for you ,your donor sounds great fingers crossed for full funding and a quick journey to bfp

Melody: I hope things are going better for you? Are you registered at a clinic if so you can liaise with them for guidance as they are there to support you in making a choice that will work for you, I noticed you mentioned to KN your donor is willing to support you as your partner for treatment, that is great are you considering this?

Kylasbaby: Welcome to our we solo mamas thread Goodluck in your search for a donor and your journey

Update on me: Not much has changed really apart from I met someone a couple of weeks ago and we have been texting etc alot however I can't bring myself to agree to a 1st date yet as I've so focused on being myself and going down the ttc road myself for so long now that I'm not sure I want to change anything

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Hey ladies, sorry I havent been on much. Just a quick message to say I'm thinking of you all. I'm quite depressed at the mo, still spotting, people having babies all over the place lol, so I might not be back on babyandbump for a little while, but I'm glad you're all doing ok.

Kyla - Sorry you had to go through such an ordeal with your Dr.

KN - I hope your tests and app goes well. I think things are done a little different over here, but I managed to speak to someone and they have put my mind at rest a bit.

fairytales - Hope you're ok. Gl with this person you're texting. Just take things slowly xx

 

[K.N]

Melody: Aw hun I so wish it was easier for you!! Hopefully the gyno/RE looks at your cycles and how crazy they are with the spotting - and they don't hesitate with assistance That's totally fine though, keep us updated when things pop up - or you needa talk Maybe some time to yourself might help a little

Fairytails: That's cool hun - that you've met someone Goodluck with everything! What Melody said, take things slowly and I'm sure if they are meant to be, they will be

I'm just sitting here with a hot chocolate making sure I've got everything necessary for my meeting today - its not for another 5 hours yet though, they changed the time again. Apparently they are really quick with the consultations - but it's just the treatment and follow ups you have to wait ages for. So we'll see what she says. I'll let you know anyway, whether it's conclusive or inconclusive.

 

[KylasBaby]

fairytales - I've had the same issues. I'm still dating and seeing people and dating and talking. But it's not making me put anything on hold. If maybe if been seeing someone for a couple of weeks or so and we were talking about making things official I'd have to have a long talk with them and myself and re-evaluate.

Melody - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I took a break from here after my MMC and it really did help to just take some time to myself. I hope you get to feeling better!

KN - hope everything goes well!

So I had 4 days of spotting and I think AF has finally started although very light. This is my third cycle since my D&C and they haven't been this messes up. It's so frustrating. But I'm talking to two new potential donors so FX!

 

[K.N]

Just got back from my appointment, still a little in shock - not the result at ALL that I was expecting. So just a quick post, All tests were normal, progesterone normal - a little higher, which suspects some form of ovulation - so my gyno reckons that I will get a period someone within the week. Had a vaginal ultrasound - wasnt as bad as I thought it would be - but found out, I have a lovely collection of cysts on my ovaries. Sooo I'm joining the PCOS "crew" so to speak. Not the news I wanted, but also - Glad I don't fit into the unexplained category though. He said not to bother with IUI or anything of the sort, for me to conceive - it's looking like IVF or ICSI. So that's a bit scary. He's given me metformin for 3 months, and recommended we tried 2 cycles of clomid - but it's not a funded clomid cycle, so we opted to give the metformin a try first.

Also - In terms of funding. It's looking like I/We (my donor and I) will be eligible for funded treatment. But now I've got the decision, do I want to go through it and say my donor - is actually my partner? And then have to fake a breakup? Some thinking to do

SO anyway, that's the 2 hour appointment summarised hahaa.

Kylasbaby: FINGERS crossed for either of your donors! Go with your heart and your gut feeling, I really hope one of them is the one - and hope that they stick around and know what is involved for you.

 

[KylasBaby]

KN - PCOS isn't a death sentence. I was diagnosed in my early teens and was able to conceive on the first shot. I'm convinced my supplements all helped a lot. Especially maca root. But the powder of that not the capsules. I stopped taking it for a while then started again and bang ovulated exactly two weeks later. It's amazing stuff.

No advice on your donor though. Will he have to go there with you to provide the samples? If so speak with him and see what he thinks.

 

[K.N]

My donor has said that he's more than happy to say he's my "partner" to go through ivf etc - and he came with me to the consultation too, he doesn't have a problem with doing any tests or anything either; so that's good It's just me who's nervous hahaa!! My two main concerns; are a)I'm a terrible liar, so faking a breakup seems the hardest thing ever haha! But to get to be a mum, i think ill be able to do it. and then b) i wasnt planning on putting him on the birth cert, but if we go through ivf - i can hardly say i dont know who the dad is hahaa! I can say i cant contact him though - so thats an option - Melody, if you come on in the next few days and see this message - what are your thoughts on the whole donor pretending to be partner kind of thing? Are you considering his offer? Maybe you have thought of some ideas to get around things - that i havent thought of yet hahha! I hope that the metformin or if we try clomid - works because then it won't be as in depth as the ivf process But I'll definitely ask my dr about herbal supplements though at my next appt, ive saved what you said about maca root so i can ask if is an option Thanks!! There's still hope yet, as you say kylas baby - its not a death sentence. More just another obstacle haha. But at least now i know why its taken so long to conceive!!

 

[KylasBaby]

KN - you don't really have to fake a breakup. Just say you broke up. If they prove say you don't want to talk about it. That's great you have such a good donor! FX! Maca really works. It's nasty though. I wouldn't expect your doctor to know much about it though but definitely research it. It's my miracle drug

 

[K.N]

That's true kylas baby - and i hear a lot about ivf couples breaking up, just due to the emotional stress and pressure it puts on couples.
I guess I've got 4 weeks to think it over anyway, and who knows - I might still conceive without ivf

Also - I just realised you said powder, not capsules - how do you take the powder? Do you mix it with something? Can you take it with metformin do you know? I'm jumping on google about it now - so may answer my own questions haha, but just in case.

Thanks for your advice!! Really appreciate it! I never thought id have pcos, so havent researched it or anything - dont know much about it at all! So I'll take all the advice and suggestions I can get haha!

 

[KylasBaby]

That's true kylas baby - and i hear a lot about ivf couples breaking up, just due to the emotional stress and pressure it puts on couples.
I guess I've got 4 weeks to think it over anyway, and who knows - I might still conceive without ivf

Also - I just realised you said powder, not capsules - how do you take the powder? Do you mix it with something? Can you take it with metformin do you know? I'm jumping on google about it now - so may answer my own questions haha, but just in case.

Thanks for your advice!! Really appreciate it! I never thought id have pcos, so havent researched it or anything - dont know much about it at all! So I'll take all the advice and suggestions I can get haha!

Yes, powder not capsules. When I got pregnant I stopped taking the powder as I put it in my smoothies and those made me nauseous while I was pregnant. Then after the loss I started taking the capsules as I still couldn't stomach my smoothies and nothing happened. I was on them for about two months. Then switched back to the powder and as I said, two weeks later I ovulated. I don't know if you can take it with met I don't see why not. It's a vegetable. I would imagine it would be fine.

You're welcome! It's not really that bad, PCOS. Most people are petrified of it or when they get diagnosed. Women with it can and do still get pregnant and have healthy children.

 

[Rags]

KN, you wouldn't need to say anything at all about breaking up. If you read in on some of the assissted conception threads it's perfectly normal for women to turn up for egg transfers unaccompanied by partners and for partners to turn up to 'donate' without a women there holding their hand. Once you get your bfp you move on to the care of the maternity team and any information you tell them about how you conceived is up to you. As for the birth certificate, in the uk the other parents details can only go onto the certificate if he is there at the time of registering, no one blinked when I registered DS as I walked in by myself so they didn't even ask for fathers details.

 

[Caite]

You've all been through so much in the last few weeks.

KN - I'm pleased you have finally got answers. I'm sorry you've been diagnosed with PCOS, but at least now you know about it, you can start treatment for it. Hopefully the metformin will help.

Melody - I'm so sorry about everything you're going through at the moment

Kylasbaby - sorry for the MMC. Good luck with choosing a donor again. I hope this one is more committed and reliable than the last.

Fairytales - how's it going with the person you were texting?

I'm still job hunting - I apparently did well in my interview but they wanted someone with more experience, so still no firm plans for a date to start TTC yet! I've been doing some nursing shifts at the moment, and I've really enjoyed firstly the flexibility of being able to pick and choose when to work, and secondly the fact that I can turn up, do my job, and leave without having to get in to the politics of how the ward/unit/department is run. If I wasn't planning on TTC, I would probably stick with bank shifts for a while.

I had an appointment with occupational health the other day about starting on the midwifery bank at the hospital. They wanted to see my immunisation history (I've worked at the hospital for years - they had the details when I started there about 5 years ago). I told her this, then she managed to find the information and blood results. She said when they took bloods about 20 months ago, I was immune to rubella (so hopefully if/when I finally start TTC and get a BFP, I will still be, and she took bloods to check my chicken pox immunity. I've not heard anything, so hopefully immune to that, too (I had very mildly when I was a child) so that'll be one less thing to worry about, too.

 

[K.N]

Oh that's a shame about the job wanting more experience caite they do that heaps over here too - it's like, how can we get experience - if no one hires to get the experience. One if my pet hates hahaa. I can understand not hiring due to lack of degrees or knowledge etc, but not really experience. But fingers crossed about the hospital midwifery for you anyway I wonder if they can do a chickenpox blood check here - because I've never had it. They don't normally immunise chickenpox here, (they do in Aussie) but because I have never had it - I might need immunising - in case I'm around it while pregnant. I've been around sooo many kids who've gotten it, but never actually had it myself. Let us know how you get on

 

[K.N]

And rags - oh really?? I guess your right - ivf is a long emotional road, so I know at least half of all ivf couples break up after - due to the emotional strain. I will look into birth registration a bit more too, and how it's done here. Your guys comments about it all, have relaxed me a bit about it. Like I know NZ is different to uk etc, but still - definitely given me a few ideas and things to think about.

 

[Rags]

KN, I was attending an acupuncturist a year ago who was treating a women going through IVF. She told me that she had seen her the day before her egg collection for a treatment and the women was very excited. The next day she arrived for the collection only to be told by the clinic that her husband had called them to say that he would not be attending and that they were no longer together. she had seen him that morning and he'd said nothing to her. When she arrived home, distraught, his clothes were gone, he'd left while she was there! Everyone has a different IVF journey. The clinics advice to her was to take that cycle off and consider if she wanted to try alone, I really wish I'd been able to talk with her or knew what she had decided.

You will get there.