Any solo mum's out there?

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I haven't told a soul IRL. Mom is here at my camper and I just want to be alone to process it all. She's so nosy!!

Today's test was darker!! I hope it all goes smoothly!
 
Canadian Maple, amazing. So pleased for you. I understand the need for quiet time to process everything and have a bit of peaceful inner joy before the world gets hold of the news. Enjoy. Xx
 
Yay for darker lines :happydance: Does your Mum know about the transfer? I waited until after my dating scan to tell close family and friends, the rest of the world knew at 18 weeks. Just didn't want others questions/opinions impinging on my joy/intermitent panic. Hope you manage to get a bit of time to yourself :hugs:



I finally got a donation last night :happydance: followed by positive opk today. Fingers crossed for ovulation tonight. Not too hopeful as lost half the sample due to distractions provided by my darling daughter, but any hope is better than none I suppose.
 
Understandable about wanting to be by yourself to process it for a bit yourself before telling people; Process a few thoughts and come to terms with the fact that you are pregnant! I imagine, I'll be somewhat the same! :)

Keebs woohoo for positive opk and donation! Even a small amount to make it is better than none - all you need is one healthy little swimmer to make it! :) Everything is crossed for you to get a good result :D

Melody - you're definitely right about the ways people get pregnant! It can happen in all sorts of places, ways etc! So doing the deed at work, is better than not at all :D

Afm: I got my monthly, on time!!!! That confirms my ovulation too - I just knew I had ovulated well last month, so a period on time confirms that for me too. And I know I've had a good cycle - so my body CAN still cycle by itself too. Here's hoping after an ovulation, and period - my body is now ready to cycle again by itself so I can give this month a go :)

vii - we're all here to support one another :D Doing it with a partner always will have it's benefits, but then I think to myself how affected I was by my parents divorce when I was 11 - and how affected other kids are by things like that, and we all love to think that our partners and us will be together forever; but sometimes it just doesn't happen like that - I find comfort in knowing my child from this will never be dragged between parents, will never witness divorce, will never have 2 conflicted parents or anything like that, the decisions i make - i can follow through with, without consulting the other parent who may not like those views etc. Sure our kids won't have a daddy/2nd mummy - and we'll have to explain why at some point, but there are definitely many positive that will come from being a smbc :) I'm looking forward to not having to share baby snuggs at night times <3.

Hope everyone else is going well x
 
I have told a few close friends, but only 3 people know. I'll tell mom after the beta on Saturday and then keep it quiet for a few more weeks. I think the dating scan is 4 weeks after the beta, so that will take me into October. I'm only telling mom because she knew about the FET. I wish I hadn't told a soul.

I just mowed part of my lawn. I hate that part, no one is around to do it for me, and I don't want to tell many people yet to get any offers to help. I just did a bit at a time and am now resting.

Keebs- Did you ovulate? Crossing my fingers for you!
 
Hi ladies. It's been about 3 weeks since I was last on here. Wow, time certainly does fly!

I've been busy with work and my new commitment - 2 orphaned little kittens which have required bottle feeding and toileting every couple of hours. I thought I was laid back and would be the same when I became a mum. Now, I'm not so sure - I've been worried about a load of issues with them (whether they had enough milk? too much milk? if they weed enough or pooed enough), that now I'm worried I'm going to be one of those mums back and to to the GP with the baby. Anyway, they're weaned and toileting themselves now, so not quite so tied to them, but until these last few days, I've barely had time to do anything else.

I hope everyone is well? So much to catch up on. Congratulations on the BFP, CandianMaple. :happydance: I'm over the moon for you.

Melody - Prague sounds good, and so cheap. I've not been abroad for years - maybe its somewhere I should consider.

Fairytales - I'm not sure what's happened the last few weeks, but we're all here for you. :hugs:

KN - sorry you missed your ovulation in August. But at least it was on time, and FX for this month. I hope the problems with your brother have been sorted out.

Vii - welcome back. The lingo is a bit daunting to begin with, but you soon pick it up. I know where you are coming from. I need to be financially stable before I start TTC. I know babies don't need to cost much, but it's the other expenses like paying my mortgage etc whilst on maternity leave (as well as the cost of actually getting pregnant) that I need to have money for.

Brynhild - welcome to our little thread.

Keebs - FX the donation was successful, even if it wasn't a full donation used!

I've read a good few pages, and someone said hurrah a few times - every time I hear that word I think of Bridget Jones!
 
CanadianMaple Still soooo happy for you! I know times like when you mowed the lawn might get you down, but just remember that you are a strong woman, who will be an amazing mother to your little bean, just as you are to your son now. And never forget that your husband is always watching over you. :hugs:

Keebs Glad you got a donation :happydance: It doesnt matter that you lost some, like KN said, all you need is one little spermy! That's you in your tww now. Fx for you hun!

KN Yay for a normal ovulatory cycle! :happydance: Even though you didnt get to try, at least your body is doing what it should be doing. Good luck for this month. I hope you get a donation on time.

Caite Aww look at you being a mummy already. This is good practise hehe. So cute. i'm definitely a cat person. I had 6 cats all called John at one point. I've had three in the house im living in now. I currently just have one, my little princess Robert loool. Hope you're enjoying every moment with them.

Well ladies things have taken a crazy turn for me. I've written all about it in my blog, im exhausted and slightly devastated, but I'll try to give the short version. Basically yesterday i had my appointment with my consultant. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever gone through. Long story short, he has refused to prescribe me medication to treat my pcos and help me ovulate. His reason? He doesnt agree with the way in which I am choosing to ttc. He could not ethically treat a single woman using a known donor. If however, I was a straight woman with a partner, there would be no problem.

The consultant said that the only way I will be able to receive treatment would be to go through a private clinic for IUI or IVF. When i explained that I couldn't afford it, he said I would be eligible for funded IVF but i would have to have paid for 6 failed IUIs first, and then be put on the waiting list. I basically left his office in tears and broke down in the toilet. I even hugged an old lady outside lol.

Anyway I've calmed down now and I'm ready to dust myself off and fight yet again. I have been saving to buy a home for me and my future baby, but i have decided to use that money for fertility treatment instead. I have so much research and number crunching to do, my head is spinning. I'm giving myself 5 months to sort everything out. That way I can get more natural tries in before things get serious.

So yeah, I'll be joining team IVF in a few months, if i don't get lucky and conceive before hand. Speaking of which, im 9dpo today lol.
 
Wow Melody, that seriously sucks arse :( It gets my back up when people discriminate against us :growlmad: Some single parent families turn out a hell of a lot better than families with the traditional mum and dad setup!! But then, we all know that :haha: I really hope it all works out for you :hugs: It'd be awesome if you got your :bfp: before having to spend all of that money though!

AFM - I haven't been TTC for the last couple of months as other stuff has been getting in the way. My LO's second birthday was crazy busy and I'm currently in the middle of getting her settled in at the local playgroup a couple of mornings a week. BUT, things are looking up... I think I remember mentioning that I had to look for and start trying with a new donor because my daughter's had quit after his father passed away. Well when I sent him an update on Phoebe (I email him little anecdotes on her progress as well as recent pics every couple of months) he replied to say that he's giving it another go and wants to help me conceive baby #2!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: He's only committing to the recipients who he already has children by, i.e. me and a lesbian couple who have a son a few months younger than my LO. AND assuming I don't ovulate too late (I'm off on a short holiday on the 19th which will be CD18) we intend to start this month!! :yipee: The timing couldn't be better because the other donor I ended up with was messing around a lot. He was buying gadgets to help strengthen his sperm samples? :saywhat: And I also found out he wasn't donating nearby as he'd implied in our preliminary chats, he was doing it at home and then driving 45-60 minutes with it in the car... and then he has the audacity to moan about his lack of success recently :roll: A shame because he's a nice enough guy, he just doesn't have a clue what he's doing :dohh:
 
I just had my beta. It was only 146.3 The other FET girls that transfered the same day as me got results in the 300s. I'm feeling scared that something is wrong. And today is what should have been DH's birthday. I'm so scared although the clinic seemed positive about it. And I have to wait a week and a day until the next beta.

I'll be back for personals. I just have myself upset.
 
Melodyy-mtb, what an awful consultation and how ridiculous of the consultant. It is non of his business that you will be making yourself a single parent it is just his job to treat your medical condition. I was welcomed with open arms to the NHS assisted conception unit at Ninewells in Dundee and my single status was never questioned. I was offered the opportunity to apply for funding if I wished and told that being single would not preclude me from receiving it - I chose to self fund though as I'd originally thought I would have to go to a private clinic and had planned for it. I am positive that you would be more than entitled to seek a second opinion should you choose. I can't remember how receptive your GP was? Would they know of anywhere else that you could be referred to?

I have to say though that if it were me I too would be dipping into my mortgage fund and just going for it. Good luck to you and two fingers up to anyone who thinks they have the right to question the way we decide to make our loving, caring families.
 
SpudsMama I know right! Families come in all shapes and sizes. All that matters is the love and stability. Ugh I never thought someone in that profession, would be capable of discrimination like that. Screw him anyway. I just hope by seeing what a state I was in, he will think about how he handles patients going forward. Thanks hun :hugs: I just hope my ovaries are as angry as I am, and will get into serious baby making mode from now on :haha:

That's wonderful news about your donor! How sweet of him willing to help you have a full sibling for your lo. That other guy sounds crazy haha. Back in the day I actually found a guy like that. He'd send me a list of things to buy on Amazon :wacko: Eeek I hope that you o at the right time this month!

CanadianMaple Try not to worry. You shouldn't compare yourself to other pg women, as long as the clinic are happy with your progress. I know the wait until your next beta will probably drive you crazy lol. I hope time passes quickly and everything is ok. :hugs:

Rags Thanks so much. I was hoping to hear what you thought of it, given the wonderful experience you had with Nine Wells. I used to live close to Dundee as well whilst i was at uni. I should have stayed lol. Writing everything out has definitely helped, and I've begun thinking about a plan. I just hope that horrible man changes his ways. Unfortunately he is the only nhs fertility consultant in my town, and monopolizes all private clinics in the whole of the county! He's like the fertility mafia or something lol.

I've got an appointment with my GP next week. She is lovely. I'm going to tell her what happened and see if it is worth raising a formal complaint. I'll continue to try naturally for the next few months. The Vitex is slowly sorting out my cycles anyway, but then it's operation IVF.

Question What's everyone's thoughts on IUI and IVF? I'm leaning more towards IVF just for a higher chance of success, but IUI is so much cheaper.
 
Caite: Time definitely does fly huh! Glad you've been busy though; Sometimes finding things to keep busy is best! I'm sure when you have a little bubba - you'll soon adjust to the different cries etc and relax :D And if not - better to be a loving caring over reacting mumma, then one who just doesn't care! :)

Spudsmama: o0o that's cool that he's willing to help you out a second time, having two fully related kids will be a lot better; not that they'd love each other less - 1/2 siblings are fine, i have some and love them juuust as much, but having the same donor - will be so much better for you I think :) Had a little giggle at the other donor buying "gadgets" hahaa. (Then felt bad because you said he was nice, just not very knowledgeable. )

Canadian Maple: Aw, Stay strong - think positive! I know it must be hard though - we're natural worriers! So I'll think positive enough for the both of us. :hugs:

Melody: I was just reading your blog, it must've been awful :( :( I wish people wouldn't judge us single mums by choice. What a good medical professional would do - would be to either a) prescribe something to help the ovulation and PCOS - for general health and cycles, not even just ttc or b) look into things and suggest actual help and advice on what to do - rather than just say because you're single, you don't need medication. Your blog bought tears to my eyes, noone should ever be as judgemental as that :( I just wanted to hug you and tell you it'd be ok! I KNOW I cannot afford IVF or IUI - I feel terrible for saying donor and I are in a relationship, but I guess I wasn't as strong as you to "hope" for a miracle in which people and medical treatment wont be based on judgement :( Here in NZ it's somewhat similar - single woman can get free ivf after 12 rounds of IUI :(.

As for your question regarding IUI and IVF - I've done A LOT of the same thinking lately, because I too have to decide. IUI would be my preference - less invasive, less medicine, less pain (eg egg retrievals etc), all in all "less of everything" however; also - less success. IVF is more of everything - and the odds are much higher etc as they implant an embryo directly. So the egg is fertilised, and grown, and all the hard part is done - really it just has to stick. It would be awesome to pay once - and get a baby, in one round of treatment and be done with it! But the thought of what IVF entails - makes me really think is the "chance" that IUI might be all I need, worth taking? The thought of going through less treatment, medicine and less invasive seems so much nicer. With IUI - they induce ovulation, which is my problem - so with induced ovulation, and if the sperm is put where it needs to be; will I succeed? That's my trouble at the moment, I've never been a gambler - and that's all this feels like to me. An expensive, life changing gamble. :/.

Who knows, I guess noone knows - both IUI and IVF come down to luck, just like natural conception, they both just have higher odds in their favour. I don't think I answer your question really sorry - I guess what I'm tryna say is just think about it - google it, look at brochures etc; and don't be afraid to ask questions about either treatment. Go with your initial gut instinct! I'm sure that first thought - is always the one we end up taking anyway :) xxx :hugs:
 
melodyy_mtb- I'm sorry you have to worry about all of this. Can you see another doctor and see how he or she treats you before you move on to more invasive TTC? I've tried IUI (cycle canceled) and then moved to IVF. I know I felt good giving IUI a try before moving to IVF. It took away some of the what ifs we had in our minds. With my PSOS, I just didn't respond the way they wanted and it was canceled. My only real fear with IUI is that they let me have up to 4 follicles and I don't know if I would want to risk having twins on my own. You have lots of time to think about it before getting to the point of having to actually decide.

Thank you for the support yesterday. I am feeling a bit more positive today. I hate that I have to wait a week from today for my beta, I always thought most clinics do it every 2 days. If I have any more spotting or bad cramping, I am going to call and bug them.
 
Canadian maple: I'm keeping everything crossed for you hopefully all will be well hugs

Melody: Regarding iui or Ivf I was choosing to do iui because I've found that's all most clinics I looked at allowed once they discovered I was doing treatment as a single person! It's all mind boggling when you start looking at clinics and which treatment etc but you'll get there and be an excellent mama!

I got two stunning pink lines this morning on an OT for the 1st time ever so I'm a rather excited girlie today even though I'm not starting to try until Oct!!
 
Melodyy: I was 40 when I went down the IUI route and apart from being single had no other reason to suspect I wouldn't be able to conceive without assistance. When I first began at home insemination at 38 I would not even have considered IVF but to be honest by the time I was beginning my treatment I was really questioning if I should have pursued IVF instead. As I mentioned before I got my DS from my 3rd unmedicated cycle, no scans, no checking if there were any follicles there, no triggering ovulation, just OPKs and insemination 36 hours after my positives. By this point I had already decided that if I did not manage during my next 3 tries (which would have been fully medicated and include scans and triggering - but not if there were more than 2 follicles above 15 mm) I would go down the IVF route and I was putting the money aside for this. At 43 and trying for number 2 although I knew it was virtually impossible for me to get a positive using even medicated IUI I decided on that route again - had I not had my son already it would have been IVF all the way until I got my bundle to cuddle.

I really think that if I were in your position I would probably be having a consultation about the IVF route and how it may work for you. If you have a good Dr they will be really up front with you and go into all of the pros and cons. I pop my head into the Ninewells ACU thread at times and it's amazing how positive the ladies are and often after having a bad outcome after a transfer they can be so incredibly positive when they know that they still have some frozen embies there waiting on their turn. Good luck.
 
Melody, that is absolutely awful. He should not be letting his personal prejudices dictate the treatment he provides. He should base his care on his medical assessment of you. The NHS does not exclude single women from fertility treatment so he is not able to do so either. If he is not happy to treat single women, he should have referred you to a doctor who is. I would definitely be complaining to the clinic and possible even to the GMC.

I'm planning on having IVF (although I've not discussed it with a clinic yet) as I have a mucked up cycle and it will give me the best chance. Although, as you said, it is a lot more expensive than IUI. Have you looked at going abroad? It is a lot cheaper than here in the UK.

And the kittens are definitely giving me a taste of motherhood. It was tiring, but they're now becoming more independent so that's good. I really, really don't want to formula feed - it was such a faff making up the formula, cleaning bottles etc.

CanadianMaple - I hope you're feeing better today.

Spudsmama - that's great about the donor. He sounds really nice and helpful. I hope you manage to ovulate before you go on holiday.

Fairytales - yay for the pink lines! October's not too far away now.
 
Awwwwwww big hugs Canadian maple :( :( you poor thing <3. Praying for a miracle and that it's just something weird going on!! :hugs: :hugs:
 
CanadianMaple, just read your post. I am so hoping that things have settled down? Bug hugs from me.
 
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