Any solo mum's out there?

[melodyy_mtb]

Thank you both It's hard. You want to cry and grieve but you have to be strong an carry on.

 

[Keebs]

You are strong hun and you will find a way to get through this I really hope you have/find the support you need to help you honour both your babies

 

[Rags]

I have a tear in my eye for your lost little angel Meloddy, I'm so sorry for you. Your attitude is amazing though, you have a wonderful little bundle of joy still snuggled up in there patiently waiting for the day you will hug it and love it for the rest of its life. I so hope that everything settles down for you now.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Melodyy, I'm so sorry to hear that .

What a mess your head must be in, grieving for your lost little one and happy that you still have one little life snuggled safe in there. Remember to give yourself permisison to feel what you feel -- you don't have to be strong.

I hope the bleeding dies down and gives you some breathing space.

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Thank you ladies. Rags that's very sweet of you thank you xx

Vivo thank you. I really do just need to let myself feel whatever I want.

Today is a better day. I told myself I wouldn't cry. Let's see how that goes. Yesterday I heard that I had a 74% chance of losing a twin. Strangely that harsh statistic has made me feel a bit better. I even left the house to take out the rubbish lol. Sadly I'm not feeling that joy for my little fighter but I think im just so afraid of losing this one too, I don't want to let myself get too happy.

Anyway let's talk about something else! How is everyone else doing?

 

[Rags]

Well Meloddy, on a different note - I'm at work on a 7 day stretch at the moment and my DS is having a ball without me!!! It's amazing to see him suddenly getting to a point where when going to bed a night he tells you 'his' list of plans for the next day (and you know he's actually arranged them). He's been arranging with his aunt to be collected in the morning and go to hers for breakfast before she takes him out swimming or picnicing.
On another very pleasant note I've just had an email giving me an unexpected pay rise for the contract I working at the moment, it's enough to pay for the day trip to Lapland I've booked in December for us to go to see Santa - YIPEE!!!

Good luck today Meloddy. X

 

[K.N]

Aw Melody - hugs hun. Same as I commented on your blog - I can't imagine the feeling but we're all here for you xx

Rags - That's so cute about his little plans for the day!! Kind of reminds me of my 10yo nephews plans for xmas presents. He has autism, and takes lists quite seriously! He had on it one year - a rocket, a tea towel, and an army helicopter - not toy ones either - but personally; the tea towel had me laughing so much. Gotta love it hahaa. Definitely a character that boy.

Afm: Well I didnt seem fertile this month, and then i think i was - then i didnt think I was - so well i dont really know. My last couple of periods have been pretty on time - so fingers crossed my body is getting in "some" routine. I don't appear to be ovulating - but then being that my periods have been on time - i might be? It's so hard to tell though. I recently moved - so my internet hasn't been fully connected; but now it is - so I'm back to the internet world properly!

 

[Rags]

KN, lovely to have you back. Was it a big move? Are you close enough to still use the clinic you had planned to?
Fingers crossed that your regular period means you are ovulating, are you getting positive OPK's at all?
Your nephew sounds like a character - so many tea towels to choose from, was he specific?

 

[darkriver]

I am feeling a bit emotional. its to early for any symptoms but have been crying on and off and also my cervix is closed so feeling hopeful.

 

[K.N]

It wasnt too big a move - just across the city; so still close enough to access my fertility clinic. It has been a time consuming move though! Ive had my neice heaps lately - makes it hard; but im blessed to be able to look after her - shes 2 months old now; definitely good practice ^.^ - is hard though - as you can imagine!
I cant believe november is so close now. Its scarily close. I told someone at work about it all - well as minimal details as possible. Just in case anything was to happen - id need someone to know what was going on. Such a big thing; coz ive told so few people hahaa.

To answer you question rags - i seem to be getting positive opks right through my cycles - the only time i dont is when i have my period hahaa! So i dunno if thats why i get the ovulation symptoms; i dunno - is so hard to know - wish there was a device that WAS 100% positive
Hows everyone else doing??

 

[fairytales87]

Just a little post with lots of hugs prayers love & luck ladies
Hope we are all ok xxx

 

[darkriver]

So I came on late by 3 days and now have a positive opk on cycle day six. I am going to take another one at 3 to confirm. I really dont understand what is going on. I am guessing I will ovulate tomorrow.

 

[K.N]

How'd you get on with ovulation darkriver? - Fingers crossed it went?

Hope you are doing well also fairytails; anything new to report on for you? Or just the waiting game hahaa!

Afm; Well I'm doing alright I guess hahaa - still not pregnant; But I got my ivf consent forms and pre ivf blood test forms and all the little bits and bobs needed for treatment in november! Crazy how soon it is. Also managed to tell another of my bestfriends - who got super excited and started googling the cheapest place for me to buy pregnancy tests (bless her heart lol). Such a weight of my shoulders though her knowing! That makes 3 of my close friends, my mum & my workmate; slowely everyones finding out - which is cool; not so overwhelming hahaa.

 

[fairytales87]

Im on a similar time scale to yourself KN so kind of playing the waiting game but it doesn't seem to be bothering me this time
it's almost feels like a diffrent kind of wait😉

I had my first appointment last week with the nurse at the clinic and she was lovely very friendly and chatty & was interested in my journey so far and my decisions and advised me on what she thinks the consultant will advise me so that gave me a lot to think about over the last week

so now I'm awaiting for blood results then I see the consultant
3 weeks today!!! then pre screens which I'm slightly scared of & all being well hopefully it will be consent forms & Ivf round 1(I would rather do Ivf than waste money on lots of unsuccessful IUI)I've chosen my donor via a new sperm bank in the uk & I'm hoping for Oct or Nov cycle but will just need to wait & see how things progress!

Right now my mind is leaping around as are my emotions I go from
omg this is actually happening to oh no have I thought of everything & am I ready for this/ have I considered everything I need to but I remember feeling like this before and I know everything will work itself out in the end😊
I can't believe your so close I'm so excited for you to start your road to your bfp!!

 

[K.N]

hahaa im the same - im fairly impatient and want it all to start - but at the same time; im also glad to have a bit more time to prepare! I know it may take more than 1 attempt and i dont want to get my hopes up 'too' much - but another 3 months till i start - then hopefully 9 months; isnt really all 'that' long now that i think about it hahaa.

Am glad your appointment went well though - good that she was genuinly interested ae! Makes it all the much more bearable - than someone who is just doing their job. ooo so sounds like you 'may' be going alongside my timing also! Did you get to pick your sperm donor? Was it hard? I always wonder how that goes - coz ive just always had the one since day one lol.

 

[fairytales87]

Yes I got to choose my donor myself, it was quite a task
& something I took a while to do!! I filtered my choices by a lot as I had a few things that were important qualities. I opted in the end to use a bank that doesn't offer a childhood picture or any pictures actually which surprised me but having a uk donor was so important to me. It's hard not to try and build a picture in your head of what you think they look like!
I also wouldn't say who I picked sounds anything like my choices in previous partners which surprised me a little too☺️
It's strange because in choosing my donor I actually realised a lot about myself!

I actually ended up confiding about my plans to another person in order to
get their opinion & in the end they also helped me make my final choice & they have been an incredible support since me telling them I'm so lucky

 

[darkriver]

I never got another positive. So think that I had a mini surge. I am going to start temping in the morning

 

[fairytales87]

dark river: I'm sorry your body isn't playing fair
Mine doesn't appear to be either!! This month may be my last
month the track O before any fertility treatment decisions
& I didn't get a +ve opk when I expected to!! So either I've missed it or I didn't O this month( I'm thinking it this) as Ive had No O symptoms at all!! Again this is why I'm not keen for IUI!!!

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Hey ladies. Sorry I have been so quiet. You might have guessed but unfortunately I lost both babies last month. But I'm doing good, i promise. I'm very optimistic about the future.

Anyway just a quick post to say I'm thinking of you all, and i will read through stuff and reply properly soon.

 

[fairytales87]

Melody your such an incredible person
I truly admire your strength lots of love hugs & prayers coming your way xx